The Paradox: Acceptance vs. Achievement

I’ve thought many times. Am I bi-polar, because I can’t choose my path? I often feel both powers of acceptance and achievement at play in my life like a cosmic duel. I want to push-push-push, and then sometimes completely LET GO. I also struggle with the ability to know when to STOP pushing.

It’s the yin and the yang, the push and the pull. Accepting vs. achieving. One day I’m listening to Zac Brown Band or classical piano, the next day it’s Jay-Z and 2Pac. But I guess that’s the rhythm of life at play.

Lets be real…I’m self diagnosed TYPE A. I’ve never been short on ambition and I take tremendous pride for the ability to “achieve” the goals set out in front of me. There are times however (many of them), where I wonder if my ambition causes me to hold on too tight, or expect immediate outcomes from my steering. The quote, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” would be spot on for this behavior.

I’ve heard Grant Cardone speak to this by saying, “Everything is my fault.” Good. Bad. Indifferent. It’s up to no one else, but me. 100% Ownership of all outcomes. This vibe comes to me pretty easily, but I also believe over time it stresses and oxidizes the body.

To complete the paradox, there are other times I feel absolute acceptance.

What will be, will be. I can gulp this behavior down like a shot of Robitussin, but it is possible.

The Principle: accept any and all outcomes from the effort, no matter good or bad. The side of me hoping and practicing to be decent Christian feels the need to consistently improve upon this line of thinking. The bible is littered with tales of submission and acceptance to the plan of the higher power.

What I’m learning is, Acceptance isn’t a behavior of throwing up my arms and simply being sloth waiting for life to hit from every direction. It’s not learned helplessness. The effort part is the only control. The outcome actually isn’t up to me.

Enter stoicism.

When I first thought of the stoics, I thought they were void of all feelings and robotic. It’s actually opposite of that. Stoicism is about radical acceptance. Feel all the feelings, but be non-judgmental. Love what happens to you and see it as a chance for personal growth.

“What a power man has to do nothing except what God will approve, and to accept all that God may give him.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.11

If you’re curious on the stoics, their thinking, or a daily practice, I highly recommend the book by Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic. The daily practice of reading one page of stoic philosophy helps rewire my brain for a more pragmatic approach that’s been battle tested 2,000 years ago.

“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well”

Epictetus, Enchiridion 8

Striking a Balance

That’s acceptance and achievement in the perfect balance for me. It’s a beautiful two-part harmony. Use my achievement wiring to drive the effort piece of the equation. Without effort, little can or will be achieved. As legendary coach Nick Saban calls it, “The Process”. Do what’s in front of you. Do your job. Do it well. Do it with consistency.

I’ll lean on the continued growth of my acceptance muscles to better accept the outcome. Good or bad, what happened, happened and a new path forward may need to be considered.

What Do I Want from 2024?

On this journey we call life, it’s important to have a compass. Wandering endlessly day-by-day will leave us in the same spot we started (which is unacceptable). As Tony Robbins says, “progress = happiness” and who doesn’t want more happiness?

So what am I thinking about or pursuing in 2024?

Health

My number one pursuit in 2024 is to find remission from my auto immune disease…by any means necessary!! Recently in November I started a new trial drug (Zeposia) which is designed to better regulate, or down regulate my immune system to trigger fewer flare ups or responses by my body to fight itself, and in so doing, cause harm. In evaluating options, the next choice of treatment was: a pill, a bi-monthly shot, or infusion every 8-weeks. We chose the daily pill.

But over the holidays, I flared again on the new drug. Talk about a downer!! Today, I’m currently taking about 3-4 different pills a day to combat symptoms and I’m in a desperate pursuit to bring this number to ZERO!!

I’ve grown tired of the ups and downs from the unpredictability. I’m tired of the anxiousness of the disease impacting my movement patterns, sometimes limiting travel (which I love) and just overall life. In early January I’m headed to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion on how to best rid myself of these symptoms and hopefully dial back on medication.

I’m attacking the disease from many angles: diet, fitness, and overall mental well being. I tell myself I know how the disease was initially triggered. It’s lovely cocktail mix: A great deal of hard living in my 20’s accompanied with amplified stress from being a tireless overachiever likely sent my body and immune system into a tail spin in the late 2000’s. But is this true?? Or is this story??

Fact vs. Story. That’s what I’m really looking to explore. I’m not looking to only treat symptoms, instead I’m Indiana Jones in search of the root cause. I’m told there is no “cure” per se to Ulcerative Colitis. I don’t buy it. I’m somewhat convinced the medication doesn’t work, otherwise why would I continually experience flare ups a few times per year, which are then resolved by steroids? So what’s the answer?

Is Diet the Answer?


I don’t know this either. Here’s what I do know. I know in 2023 I ate better than I have in my entire life. I consumed more vegetables, smoothies and pounds of spinach than I ever have. I consumed less alcohol than ever and I’m on the verge of calling it quits entirely. But still the symptoms. Is diet the answer?

Is Fitness the Answer?

I’m in better shape now at 41 than I was at 31. It’s not even a comparison. My body composition is better and I’m even hitting the golf ball further as a result. In 2023 I completed over 250 workouts and cycled nearly 8,000 minutes this year. In a quest for 10,000 pull ups, I completed 14,000. I am no iron man, but I am in good shape…but the symptoms remain. Is Fitness the answer?

Am I too type A?

I can only imagine being a reader of this post and reading my thoughts. Zac, of course you think simply changing the variables noted above (or by simply doing more) you’d step into remission and all would be well. It’s not that easy, and I’m coming to grips with that. So what’s the next phase?

Is the next phase Surrender?

In listening to recent sermon from Orchard Hill Church, the pastor spoke to surrender, and a season of waiting. I must admit, just hearing those words send me into toxic shock. I suck at waiting…and yet maybe that’s the larger lesson in all of this? I’ve tried searching for solutions via the mechanism of control. And yet, that’s not working. So maybe surrender is?

In almost every year in my adult life I’ve thought about goals and planning for the following year. It’s exciting, it’s ambitious, it’s challenging!! Every single year these include financial targets to hit and investments to make. While 2024 will likely include these goals, my #1 concern and focus will be on getting truly healthy.

You can have all the riches and success in the world, but if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.

Living a Rich Life

Ask me when I was 12 what I wanted to be when I grew up, and short of naming a career, I also likely enthusiastically stated, “I want to be rich!”

Notice, I did not wish to be “wealthy”…but that’s another topic for another day. Youthful ignorance at it’s finest.

Who doesn’t want to be rich? Especially at a young age. Here’s the thing though, I don’t think the desire goes away as you grow older and I’ll make the argument “a rich life” evolves over time. But what does being “rich” really mean?

If I asked you, “how much would it take to be rich (monetarily speaking), what would you say?” Would the answer be the prototypical…One million dollars!!! Ok, that will last all of 10-20 years based on basic lifestyle choices. So maybe that’s not the right answer…

Right, double it! Two Million Dollars!!!!

Nope. Wrong again.

Rich isn’t about a million, or your second million, or your tenth million, although I’m all for these things. Rich is a definition of lifestyle and it’s entirely in the eyes of the beholder. When I was little I wasn’t thinking of Scrooge McDuck swimming in millions of coins. I wanted the lifestyle choices richness would provide.

A few years ago I read Ramit Sethi’s book, “I Will Teach You to be Rich” and I highly recommend it. While Ramit teaches many things on financial security and is definitely a [numbers guy] in every sense of the word, the #1 takeaway I had from the book was Ramit’s definition of, “A Rich Life”. Ramit recommends spending aggressively on the few things that bring you great joy. [note I said few, not everything]

I’m going off memory but here are a couple Rich lifestyle choices from Ramit:

  • Fly business class
  • Indulge in the nicest of sweaters (Ramit loves a great Cashmere Sweater)
  • Supply travel to family for large annual getaway

What is a Rich Life?

Ask yourself that question. What is does my “rich life” consist of?

  • To one person, it’s the ability to own their own an acreage on the outside of town, to have a family they care for deeply, and the ability to hunt & fish whenever they get the opportunity.
  • To someone in their 20’s free of commitment and short on responsibilities, their rich life is full of travel, living near or with close friends and experiencing all the world has to offer. This might include indulging in the hottest new restaurant, a great apartment and some hip fashion choices.
  • To someone in their 70’s, a rich life might look like complete financial freedom, escaping to warm weather in the winter, closeness to grandchildren and their ability to give endlessly to local charity via their time and accumulated wealth.

My point is you can make $50,000/yr and be rich. You can make $500,000 a year and be miserable in empty pursuits of “things” you think will make you happy.

Putting a holiday bow on this post, here are the elements of my Rich Life:

  • I wanted to live on a golf course (check)
  • Travel multiple times a year with wife & family. Minimum (1x to the ocean, 1x to the mountains) – it’s good for the mind & soul
  • Freedom with Income – This one is a work in progress, but I need income to show up every month regardless of employment. With the ultimate goal of financial freedom by 45. It’s not that I won’t work. It’s not needing the income to live. This creates flexibility to explore endless opportunity!
  • Experiences with Close Friends – I want to play golf and attend sporting events with those closest to me with unfailing consistency. Maybe top each off with a great meal and glass of wine!
  • Being in G-R-E-A-T physical health to have the energy and vitality to live a life free of restraint due to health limitations.

Notice what’s not on here. What I wear. What I drive. It’s all ephemeral.
~Merry Christmas all

None is Profound, Because There is So Much

Last week I was flying back from Boston and a recent business trip. While doing so, it’s quite common for me to catch up on a podcast or audiobook.

I happened to be listening to The Tim Ferriss Show and a recent podcast with Morgan Housel. This was of interest to me as I just wrapped up reading his book: The Psychology of Money. I love Tim’s longer form conversations as they get much deeper into a person’s feelings and beliefs.

Later into the podcast, Morgan said something profound. So profound in fact, that I stopped, hit rewind and listened to it again as I transcribed the thoughts into my notebook. Then I rewound again to ensure I heard it right!

What did he say?

He said, “None of it is profound, because there is soooooo much of it.” Now what was he talking about? Without me telling you directly, I decided to think about what could be on this list…and it’s rather long.

  • The News. It used to be once a day. Now with cable news it’s 24/7 and delivers the value of empty calories. Morgan asks, how profound would the news be if it was 1x per year? Rather meaningful right?
  • Luxury. If you think about it, luxury in America is all around us, but we’re so spoiled we don’t see it.
  • Rest/Relaxation. The goal isn’t to rest 24/7, although some think it is. Rest and relaxation are to be earned to be appreciated. A life without struggle isn’t worth living.
  • True Connection – Today it’s easier to connect with someone across the world than it’s ever been. And yet, true connection in society is more distant than it’s ever been.
  • Christmas Gifts – Yes, it’s that time of year to bless those around us with gifts. But do so with dozens, and they lose meaning. Chose wisely.
  • Information. There’s never been more information available. We don’t have an information problem. We have a discernment and action problem. When all information is important, we become paralyzed in execution.
  • False Beauty. Open your phone and you can find millions of photos perfectly posed and manicured for distribution and “likability”. Shredded men. Bikini clad babes. Everyone with a phone is a model.

More for the sake of more, leads us down a dangerous path. One I know I can be guilty of. Like a rich kid with infinite resources and a cocaine habit. Every hit, more unfulfilling than the last…but the chase must go on!

Where does this take us?

For me, it’s a reminder to do my annual retreat into the book Essentialism. Less but better. Fewer choices, well-executed create real value and meaning. Rid the mind of more for the sake of more, and instead be in a search for impact and vitality.

Crushing 10,000 Pull Up Goal by +30%

Why would anyone do 10,000 Pull Ups, or set a goal for 10,000 anything for that matter?!?!? I think it’s a really fair question and one I half-assed tried to answer the last two years.

You see in 2021 I initially set the goal. But derailed by some health swings, I honestly just lost momentum…and momentum is everything! So I gave up trying. My efforts netted me somewhere in the 4-5,000 range. Not bad, but nowhere near my target. But I was committed to get back on the horse.

2022 yielded better results, but no completion. I was north of the 5,000 number achieved the year before, but again just lost momentum and daily focus.

Easy to Do, Easy NOT to do

Below is a powerful image of the Slight Edge principle. Small efforts, magnified over large swaths of time = BIG RESULTS. But as with anything, it’s easy to do, easy NOT to do. In 2021, and in 2022, I fell the path of Easy NOT to do.

Just How Easy Is It?

Let us look at the 10,000 reps two ways. The first is proximity. I’ll label this one incredibly easy as I “work from home” most days and my pullup bar is in my basement storage. Easiest of Easy. The second is the math and here’s how I thought about it when I initially laid out the goal. In a 365 day year, I figured for a few days off as the calluses do build up. So I rounded to the easy math of pull ups for 300 days a year.

10,000 pull ups/300 days = 33.3 per day. Rounding up, could I do 34 per day?

A set of 10 was hard, but doable at the start of this journey. So completing 34 pull ups per day wasn’t a monumental struggle. Doing it for 300 days in a year, that’s different! The challenge isn’t completing the reps. The hardest part is sometimes remembering to do it because a day missed, meant the next day was owed 68, or 102, etc. Lose a week and lose 238. This really starts to add up and is such a microcosm for life.

Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” 

So Why Do It?

I’m not good at finishing things. I’m unreal at starting, ideas, concepting, strategizing and knowing exactly what it takes to get there. And then I get bored!!! I wanted to achieve the target to prove to myself I could push through the boredom and see it through to the end. I needed to FINISH.

Where are we now?

As of the time of publishing this it’s early December, and I’m past 13,000 reps headed to 14,000+ reps before the end of year hits. After I hit 10,000 back in September, I reset the challenge and started adding weight to the reps for added difficulty [Momentum building and harnessing at it’s finest]. By the way, lets do a quick check on the math noted from above. 14,000/300 days = 47 day. So only 13 more reps per day…but EVERY, DAMN, DAY!

What did I learn?

Big goals become achievable when broken down into manageable pieces and pursued with unwavering determination. Consistency is the key to success, as it leads to momentum. Like an object in motion, once you start, you keep going!

Just making the effort to show up is 90% of the battle. Even when I was traveling, I made it a point to find a few minutes in the hotel gym to get the job done for the day. Yes, I did this several times while traveling.

What will the pursuit be in 2024?

Great question and I’m working on that 😉

PS – If you’re the type that wants details, here is the pull up bar I used. My first bar cracked in mid-2023. So after some research, I purchased the link below on Amazon as I found the bar to be really sturdy (I’m 170-175 lbs.). 

Colonoscopy: Number Six

It’s Oct. 5th. 4:11AM. I’m wide awake.

Not by choice either. At 3:15AM I woke to take down the second (yes there are two) dose of laxative that would further empty my body out before my 7:45AM colonoscopy. I get one every other year due to my Ulcerative Colitis. At this point in the early morning “prep” process, there is literally [nothing left] in my body.

I haven’t eaten in roughly 34 hours…and oddly enough, I’m very alert and rather focused. My mind feels sharp and I’m not even thinking of food. I just banged one last cup of coffee for a little jolt of energy this morning pre procedure. Funny what happens when we go without food for an extended period of time. The mind and body adapt. I’ve also done this before, so mentally I’m prepared for the entire process.

This will be my sixth colonoscopy and by now, it’s become quite a simple method to follow:

  • Stop eating for 24 hours+
  • Consume laxative doses and empty every last bit of substance from my body
  • Go to the Dr. Office, Get IV
  • Lay on left side & Take a 2-hour nap during procedure

I’m actually laughing to myself sitting up in bed as I think about this. It’s become somewhat “normal” for me every two years. Normal in the fact that, I know what to expect. In a really weird way, it also makes me appreciate what the body and mind are capable of adapting to. Think about this.

  • How hard is a marathon for a first timer? How does that compare to the mindset of someone who completed 20?
  • How hard is it to go without breakfast? How does this compare to someone who intermittent fasts 16-18 hours every day?
  • How hard is it to lose 10lbs.? How does this compare to a wrestler or fighter who does this on the regular?
  • How shocking is the “prep” for your 1st colonoscopy? How does this compare to a person going into his sixth?

With Perspective and Frequency, We Adapt

This whole process makes me think about the mind and body’s ability to adapt. But adaptation only comes once we choke down the 1st, big, fearful dose.

I look back at when I started riding my Peloton in the early winter months of 2021. The stats, the output, the rides…they’re laughable now (700 rides later). But I needed a jolt to get back into shape and lead a healthier lifestyle after the COVID lockdowns. Those first few rides, my pulse spiked along with my anxiety, because my body at the time couldn’t tell the difference between heartrate from panic and exercise. Now I’m programmed to jump on, ride like hell, sweat, and leave feeling accomplished and refreshed.

It’s Going to Suck

In her book, Bird by Bird, author Anne Lamott introduces the concept of “shitty first drafts”

All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.

In any new endeavor, you’re very likely going to suck, or at least stumble along like you’re wearing two left shoes, and that’s OK. I’m trying to teach this to my son, but I’ll admit I struggle with this too. No one wants to look stupid! As for my son, he wants to be “good” at something immediately, but his young brain hasn’t quite learned that it takes work and effort and practice to refine a skill. Who am I kidding, I’m 41 and I’m starting to grasp it now!!! I WANT INSTANT RESULTS.

Cheers to Firsts!!

How did I get from writing about a colonoscopy adventure to thinking about mindset? I don’t know exactly, but I’m energized about the idea of taking on new things, because the second go at the effort will be better, smoother, and less anxious. The biggest tragedy will be never starting in the first place.

Do the first rep. Take the first jog. Eat the first smoothie. Mediate in the most shitty of ways. Write the first sentence. Make the first offer. The second step will surely be less daunting than the first.

If you needed more motivation, I stumbled upon this video coming out of my colonoscopy anesthesia and I’m happy I did:

Oh and do me a favor if you’re in your 40s or certainly 50s. Get a colonoscopy. It won’t kill you, and you can reposition it in your mind as a mental exercise (that could also save your life).

Intercepting the Signal

I’m going to make the assumption I’m like most of you, and I spend a fair amount of time on my phone. I’m digitally connected across many channels, all doing their very best to steal away my attention, and at the same time, sell my attention to advertisers.

In the last week or two I’ve been tempted with the following ads. All are brands I like, and some I devour. All are reasonable purchases I could make, almost in an instant. Here are a few examples:

  • Travis Matthew – 40% off Sale. Sounds like a helluva deal on essentially everything in my wardrobe. Almost seems too good to pass up.
  • Nike – Back to School Savings. Again, I’m a sucker for fresh pair of sneakers, so browse, browse away. New Jordans, Air Maxes, or running shoes. Sure! Golf Jordans?? Double check!!!
  • BYLT Basics – I love their t-shirts as they really fit a slender fella like me well. What colors could I add to the collection? Everyone needs a good t-shirt or two, or two more
  • Vuori Clothing – Haven’t purchased a single item just yet…but I’ve browsed about 100+
  • Rhoback – give me all the golf polos please and thank you! While you’re at it, throw in a few of those buttery soft hoodies too.
  • Wolf and Shepard – Again, I’m a sucker for shoes and I could easily see a pair of these in my closet. Equal parts sport and style. Just up my alley.
  • Ledbury – Best dress shirts I’ve ever owned. Period. And I’ve probably got 10 of them. Get yourself one. “Slim Fit” if you’re built like me.
  • Target – I don’t even know what I was looking at other than maybe some new kitchenware (sexy I know), but who can’t drop a quick hundo at Target?!?!?

At some point amongst my scrolling, a wave of clarity came over me and I zapped out of the fog. It was almost like a cool breeze you feel in the fall when you realize the temps have turned from a warm Southern breeze, to a cool North wind. What the hell was I looking for?

Let me say this again. What was I looking for?

I feel very comfortable saying this. I could easily purchase any one of the brands noted above, or even spend $1,000 on a digital shopping cart full of “new gear” today. It won’t change my life. I’ve thought of buying a Rolex numerous times to reward myself for a sense of accomplishment and as a symbol for achievement. Will it make me happier? No. Does it tell time better than my Apple Watch? No. ~Side note, pretty powerful brand story for me to make the achievement association with a watch. Quite fascinating really!!

Spending $100 or $1,000 or $10,000 is incredibly unlikely to make me happier. It won’t change my life. It won’t elevate my position with my family, it won’t make new friends or make the current ones I have like me more.

Disrupt the Comfort Channel

Fifteen years ago I lived by myself in downtown Chicago. On weekend strolls, I spent a great deal of time walking in and out of stores on the magnificent mile. Every notable brand wasn’t only available, it was at my fingertips. Young and ambitious to a fault, I would often go on ‘lifestyle seeking expeditions’ for the person I was striving to become. What did the wealthy wear? What did they drive? Where did they live? Where were they eating? It was all very tempting to the senses.

What I was able to learn on these walks, was 99% of the time, I was able to intercept the need for comfort or status and I bought NOTHING. I was able to go through the entire cycle of imagining, finding an item, maybe even trying it on in a dressing room or touring an apartment, and then asking myself the most notable question anyone can ask…

Do I really need this?

I’m not a monk. I want to drive a Ferrari, eat filet mignon and play Pebble Beach.

I’m not holier than thou and I’m a “consumer” in every since of the word, living in a capitalist country with sizable marketing budgets available to grasp my attention. What a beauty to be free right?!?! That said, I can intercept the signal and still appreciate living in a nice house and driving a nice car. Take them away tomorrow, I’m still who I am.

Who owns who?

Do we own the things around us, or do our things or the pursuit of things own us? I will buy more Jordan sneakers. Someday I may purchase that Rolex. But I won’t associate a false level of happiness to such a meaningless thing no one will care five, or especially 100 years from now.

“How good it is when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this is the dead body of a bird or pig; and again, that the Falerian wine is the mere juice of grapes, and your purple edged robe simply the hair of a sheep soaked in shell-fish blood! This should be your practice throughout all your life: when things have such a plausible appearance, show them naked, see their shoddiness, strip away their own boastful account of themselves. Vanity is the greatest seducer of reason: when you are most convinced that your work is important, that is when you are most under its spell.”

Marcus Aurelius

Satisfaction (Haves/Wants)

For a thoughtful listen on the topic of happiness and goals, I highly recommend a listen to Arthur C. Brooks on the Tim Ferriss show(YouTube). Here is the podcast link as well.

Finding Divine Inspiration: Fenway Park

Sometimes life nudges you ever so slightly. Other times, it hits you in the forehead with a two-by-four. My visit to Fenway Park on August 9, 2023 was more of the two-by-four variety.

Let me quickly set the stage. I was flying into Boston on 8/9 and a couple attempts at dinner reservations with clients fell through. Busy schedules won the day and I was left to navigate Beantown on my own for the evening.

The gentleman next to me on my flight happened to be wearing a Red Sox hat (not entirely unique on flights to Boston), but I did notice it, and it did cause me to pause and think more openly about the nights’ adventures.

I spent the next 90 seconds scouring Google for the Red Sox schedule. As luck would have it, they had a home game on the evening of 8/9 vs. the Kansas City Royals. It was about 5:30 at Logan airport and the game was set for a 7:10 first pitch. I needed to hustle.

To further constrain my schedule, the damn Sumner tunnel is under construction and closed, so my delivery from the airport to my hotel was going to be anything but expeditious. I was going to be cutting it very close, but I was going for it.

Next to StubHub. Ticket purchased (see below/and not insignificant)

Fenway Park is charming and entirely unique. The ticket I purchased happened to be in the “Royals Family Box” next to the son of KC Royals Infield Coach: Jose Alquacil. The son flew in from Washington D.C. to celebrate his Dad’s birthday that evening and watch him “work” with the Royals. Connections started to be made [Father/Son experiences]. The game provided very unique drama, as it was the game history was made when a ball off the bat of a Royals batter broke a scoreboard light on the Green Monster. I’ve watched a boatload of baseball, and I’ve never seen that!!!

Flash Back 30 Years

Fresh Fenway Sausage with Peppers and Onions

My first visit to Fenway was with my Dad about 30 years ago (give or take). I remember walking foul pole to foul pole to get all the vantage points of the historic stadium. I remember vividly the smell of freshly grilled sausages and peppers outside the stadium (Yes they still do this) and my Dad will quickly bring this up if asked about our Fenway experience.

Thinking about my experience the following morning, I felt a little like Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) in Field of Dreams when he felt implored to “kidnap” Terrance Mann and get him to attend a baseball game at Fenway. It’s almost eerie. Mind you…I did no kidnapping this evening.

Go the Distance

I grabbed a beer, a hot dog, and settled into the game on a marvelous New England summer evening. I’ll fast-forward to the end of the game where this all became somewhat euphoric for me. My wife and kids knew I’d be at the game, but as is customary for us when I’m gone, they call to FaceTime before bed. I think it helps put all of our minds at ease that we get to chat before the day closes and heavy eyes rest.

The call happened to come in during the final three outs of the game…so I answered it, seeing my two kids faces glued to the screen in awe of where Dad was. And it was LOUD!

But I figured what the hell, I’m going to let them see what I’m seeing. So Landon and I watched the last two outs together via FaceTime. Having made our first deep dive into baseball this summer, and spending endless hours playing catch, it only seemed right that we share this moment. I took a quick screenshot as it says so much about what I was soon to learn.

I was really watching two things as the Red Sox reliever Kenley Jansen closed out the Royals on that insignificant Wednesday night. One is the game, as a solo home run was given up in the top of the ninth, closing the score to a snug 4-3 Red Sox lead with only one out.

The second, more profound watch, was my son’s reaction to it all. He was in awe! The stadium, the view, the crowd, the energy, Dad’s new Red Sox hat. It’s why I so dearly love sports. It simply can’t be recreated. It was then, when I started to see my future unfold before me.

A New Path

I really love what I do. I love working with energetic, savvy clients and strategizing on campaigns. I love the creation of something “new” for a brand and seeing it unfold. I also love all the myriad of experiences and relationships its brought a kid from small town Iowa in his life. Travel opened up my mind to possibility, wonderful restaurants, entirely new cities and different ways of life.

Fenway Connected My Past and Future

I’ve been thinking about “retirement” since I was probably 22 and started working. Some could argue this is good and others could argue the opposite. Either way, a plan took shape early, and I’ve consistently reshaped it as the years provided new thinking and resources toward this goal. Never once have I considered waiting until 60 or years beyond to “call it quits.” It was always going to be “early” vs. normal standards.

The Goal isn’t Retirement, it’s Freedom

Now in my 40’s, I have a very different view. I don’t want to retire per se. After all, what am I going to do, sit around and golf every day?? Doesn’t sound entirely horrible…

I want freedom and I want to experience it with those I love. I want to visit clients in Boston, and have my son experience it with me. I want him to enjoy a fresh lobster roll in New England, and freshly caught seafood in Seattle. We’ll cheers Chicago dogs outside Wrigley and a beer after our round at Torrey Pines. We’ll chomp down cheese curds in Lambo Field and sip a great cabernet in Northern California. Mind you, I’ve done all these things and it only adds to my hunger to consume more experiences like this with my kids.

I very much want to blur the lines of the professional and personal. My recent Fenway experience brought that vision front and center. Yes, they will likely miss school…which was unheard of in my day. But the experiences they’ll encounter can’t be duplicated in the class room.

Thanks Fenway (and the $13 beers) for igniting my memories and being a driver to a bigger purpose and vision for the future.

Ten Questions I Pondered on Vacation

I recently returned from a getaway with the Mrs. to Marco Island, FL. We stayed at the JW Marriott, and if you haven’t been…I highly recommend it. Especially the “adults only” side of the resort [Paradise by Sirene]. We relaxed and read by the water. Jet skied with sea turtles. Walked the beautiful beaches, saw a few dolphins, ate delicious meals and generally took in our surroundings with tremendous gratitude.

Needless to say, with no kids present, there is always ample time to think on a retreat of this nature. I always keep my journal near by and this time was no different. Instead of plotting out moves for the next five years (as I’m prone to do), this time I thought to challenge myself with questions to help open up my mind to what possibilities the future could hold. The list below reflects questions about: health, family, fulfillment, wealth building, happiness and much more. I wrote many, but here are ten of my favorites I’m thinking about post-vacation.

TEN QUESTIONS

  1. What activity drives you to feel most happy/fulfilled?
  2. What does my family need from me to be their best selves?
  3. Where are the wealthy finding opportunity in this high interest rate environment?
  4. What foods leave me feeling energized and full of vitality?
  5. What new experiences am I hungry to explore?
  6. What would I need to do, to make the next 5 months a killer end to 2023?
  7. Where can I show up more for friends/peers?
  8. What past drama/trauma am I hanging on to, that I need to let go of?
  9. What new “micro-habit” will unlock many other doors to progress?
  10. What stands between where I am now, and where I want to go?

I’ll spend the next few weeks really thinking through and articulating well thought out answers to each of these asks. I’m hopeful the 10 questions above will cause you to pause and do some thinking on your life and trajectory.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

I’m thinking about the latter of the words this Independence Day holiday. Happiness. Isn’t it odd, and sort of fitting these are the words from the well-penned script I’m thinking about from the declaration of Independence crafted in 1776?

Declaring Independence

How does one [declare independence] and how does it relate to happiness?

Let me set the scene. I’m sitting in my driveway in a small town in Iowa. Our neighborhood raises funds for those who live around the golf course for a private fireworks show (Shout out to Jordan Alborn for organizing!). As the benefactor of location, our driveway faces directly into the line of sight where the fireworks are shot off, and only a couple hundred yards away.

I was sitting in my chair, and 50 or so guests had joined. New friends and old alike. The driveway and street were jam packed with golf carts. Adults joined with a chilled cocktail, kids with glow sticks, a plentiful supply of bomb pops were displayed and patriotic music played as a backdrop to the festivities.

As the fireworks exploded and my daughter’s chin dripped red and blue of melted sugar, I just smiled…ear to ear. This is ‘it’ for me. This is happiness.

How did we get here?

About 8-10 years go in my journal I sketched out the plans for our family (The family that didn’t even fully exist yet). Where would we live? What would the house include? What would surround us? Let me tell you what I wrote!

  • We’d build a house on a golf course, golf cart in the garage, basketball hoop in the driveway
  • We’d have a large island in the kitchen for gathering
  • We’d have a rain shower head in the master bath (Yes I know it’s specific, but I wrote it)

There are many other details, but my point is two-fold. Define your happiness and do so with laser focused intention. But only do it for YOU! What we think about and write down, we manifest. The feelings I had the other night, felt like warm hug. A comforting nod that, “this is EXACTLY what you asked for,” now please, ENJOY!

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

I beg of my team and other peers I interact/coach with on a regular basis, “TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT” < – – – – and don’t lie!!! Tell me exactly what you want and do so with clear definition and vitality. I don’t personally care what it is, I only care that you know, and pursue it with all your might. It’s not up to me that it’s a farm with 20 acres, a lake front cabin or a Chicago high-rise condo with all the amenities. by the way, not everything is about housing. Think vacations, how you spend your time, and who you spend it with.

What do I do, if I don’t know?

Terrific question. Here are a few questions I’d challenge you with to help you aid in definition.

  • What gives you endless energy?
  • What activities really excite you? (think like Derek Sivers – if it isn’t a HELL YES…it’s a no)
  • Who do you enjoy being around? (energy builders vs. Energy takers)
  • Where do you feel like your best self?
  • What does it look like? Close your eyes and see it. Define it.

I’ve listened to Norman Vincent Peale’s audiobook, “The Power of Positive Thinking” hundreds of times. He speaks vividly on the word VITALITY. Pursuing your “happiness” will provide the vitality needed to continue on with your pursuit when roadblocks arise.

As we celebrate our nation’s independence, please also give thought to your own personal independence and pursuit of happiness!

Declaration with definition and intention!!

~God Bless America