Tag Archives: Learning

The Paradox: Acceptance vs. Achievement

I’ve thought many times. Am I bi-polar, because I can’t choose my path? I often feel both powers of acceptance and achievement at play in my life like a cosmic duel. I want to push-push-push, and then sometimes completely LET GO. I also struggle with the ability to know when to STOP pushing.

It’s the yin and the yang, the push and the pull. Accepting vs. achieving. One day I’m listening to Zac Brown Band or classical piano, the next day it’s Jay-Z and 2Pac. But I guess that’s the rhythm of life at play.

Lets be real…I’m self diagnosed TYPE A. I’ve never been short on ambition and I take tremendous pride for the ability to “achieve” the goals set out in front of me. There are times however (many of them), where I wonder if my ambition causes me to hold on too tight, or expect immediate outcomes from my steering. The quote, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” would be spot on for this behavior.

I’ve heard Grant Cardone speak to this by saying, “Everything is my fault.” Good. Bad. Indifferent. It’s up to no one else, but me. 100% Ownership of all outcomes. This vibe comes to me pretty easily, but I also believe over time it stresses and oxidizes the body.

To complete the paradox, there are other times I feel absolute acceptance.

What will be, will be. I can gulp this behavior down like a shot of Robitussin, but it is possible.

The Principle: accept any and all outcomes from the effort, no matter good or bad. The side of me hoping and practicing to be decent Christian feels the need to consistently improve upon this line of thinking. The bible is littered with tales of submission and acceptance to the plan of the higher power.

What I’m learning is, Acceptance isn’t a behavior of throwing up my arms and simply being sloth waiting for life to hit from every direction. It’s not learned helplessness. The effort part is the only control. The outcome actually isn’t up to me.

Enter stoicism.

When I first thought of the stoics, I thought they were void of all feelings and robotic. It’s actually opposite of that. Stoicism is about radical acceptance. Feel all the feelings, but be non-judgmental. Love what happens to you and see it as a chance for personal growth.

“What a power man has to do nothing except what God will approve, and to accept all that God may give him.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.11

If you’re curious on the stoics, their thinking, or a daily practice, I highly recommend the book by Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic. The daily practice of reading one page of stoic philosophy helps rewire my brain for a more pragmatic approach that’s been battle tested 2,000 years ago.

“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well”

Epictetus, Enchiridion 8

Striking a Balance

That’s acceptance and achievement in the perfect balance for me. It’s a beautiful two-part harmony. Use my achievement wiring to drive the effort piece of the equation. Without effort, little can or will be achieved. As legendary coach Nick Saban calls it, “The Process”. Do what’s in front of you. Do your job. Do it well. Do it with consistency.

I’ll lean on the continued growth of my acceptance muscles to better accept the outcome. Good or bad, what happened, happened and a new path forward may need to be considered.

Living a Rich Life

Ask me when I was 12 what I wanted to be when I grew up, and short of naming a career, I also likely enthusiastically stated, “I want to be rich!”

Notice, I did not wish to be “wealthy”…but that’s another topic for another day. Youthful ignorance at it’s finest.

Who doesn’t want to be rich? Especially at a young age. Here’s the thing though, I don’t think the desire goes away as you grow older and I’ll make the argument “a rich life” evolves over time. But what does being “rich” really mean?

If I asked you, “how much would it take to be rich (monetarily speaking), what would you say?” Would the answer be the prototypical…One million dollars!!! Ok, that will last all of 10-20 years based on basic lifestyle choices. So maybe that’s not the right answer…

Right, double it! Two Million Dollars!!!!

Nope. Wrong again.

Rich isn’t about a million, or your second million, or your tenth million, although I’m all for these things. Rich is a definition of lifestyle and it’s entirely in the eyes of the beholder. When I was little I wasn’t thinking of Scrooge McDuck swimming in millions of coins. I wanted the lifestyle choices richness would provide.

A few years ago I read Ramit Sethi’s book, “I Will Teach You to be Rich” and I highly recommend it. While Ramit teaches many things on financial security and is definitely a [numbers guy] in every sense of the word, the #1 takeaway I had from the book was Ramit’s definition of, “A Rich Life”. Ramit recommends spending aggressively on the few things that bring you great joy. [note I said few, not everything]

I’m going off memory but here are a couple Rich lifestyle choices from Ramit:

  • Fly business class
  • Indulge in the nicest of sweaters (Ramit loves a great Cashmere Sweater)
  • Supply travel to family for large annual getaway

What is a Rich Life?

Ask yourself that question. What is does my “rich life” consist of?

  • To one person, it’s the ability to own their own an acreage on the outside of town, to have a family they care for deeply, and the ability to hunt & fish whenever they get the opportunity.
  • To someone in their 20’s free of commitment and short on responsibilities, their rich life is full of travel, living near or with close friends and experiencing all the world has to offer. This might include indulging in the hottest new restaurant, a great apartment and some hip fashion choices.
  • To someone in their 70’s, a rich life might look like complete financial freedom, escaping to warm weather in the winter, closeness to grandchildren and their ability to give endlessly to local charity via their time and accumulated wealth.

My point is you can make $50,000/yr and be rich. You can make $500,000 a year and be miserable in empty pursuits of “things” you think will make you happy.

Putting a holiday bow on this post, here are the elements of my Rich Life:

  • I wanted to live on a golf course (check)
  • Travel multiple times a year with wife & family. Minimum (1x to the ocean, 1x to the mountains) – it’s good for the mind & soul
  • Freedom with Income – This one is a work in progress, but I need income to show up every month regardless of employment. With the ultimate goal of financial freedom by 45. It’s not that I won’t work. It’s not needing the income to live. This creates flexibility to explore endless opportunity!
  • Experiences with Close Friends – I want to play golf and attend sporting events with those closest to me with unfailing consistency. Maybe top each off with a great meal and glass of wine!
  • Being in G-R-E-A-T physical health to have the energy and vitality to live a life free of restraint due to health limitations.

Notice what’s not on here. What I wear. What I drive. It’s all ephemeral.
~Merry Christmas all

None is Profound, Because There is So Much

Last week I was flying back from Boston and a recent business trip. While doing so, it’s quite common for me to catch up on a podcast or audiobook.

I happened to be listening to The Tim Ferriss Show and a recent podcast with Morgan Housel. This was of interest to me as I just wrapped up reading his book: The Psychology of Money. I love Tim’s longer form conversations as they get much deeper into a person’s feelings and beliefs.

Later into the podcast, Morgan said something profound. So profound in fact, that I stopped, hit rewind and listened to it again as I transcribed the thoughts into my notebook. Then I rewound again to ensure I heard it right!

What did he say?

He said, “None of it is profound, because there is soooooo much of it.” Now what was he talking about? Without me telling you directly, I decided to think about what could be on this list…and it’s rather long.

  • The News. It used to be once a day. Now with cable news it’s 24/7 and delivers the value of empty calories. Morgan asks, how profound would the news be if it was 1x per year? Rather meaningful right?
  • Luxury. If you think about it, luxury in America is all around us, but we’re so spoiled we don’t see it.
  • Rest/Relaxation. The goal isn’t to rest 24/7, although some think it is. Rest and relaxation are to be earned to be appreciated. A life without struggle isn’t worth living.
  • True Connection – Today it’s easier to connect with someone across the world than it’s ever been. And yet, true connection in society is more distant than it’s ever been.
  • Christmas Gifts – Yes, it’s that time of year to bless those around us with gifts. But do so with dozens, and they lose meaning. Chose wisely.
  • Information. There’s never been more information available. We don’t have an information problem. We have a discernment and action problem. When all information is important, we become paralyzed in execution.
  • False Beauty. Open your phone and you can find millions of photos perfectly posed and manicured for distribution and “likability”. Shredded men. Bikini clad babes. Everyone with a phone is a model.

More for the sake of more, leads us down a dangerous path. One I know I can be guilty of. Like a rich kid with infinite resources and a cocaine habit. Every hit, more unfulfilling than the last…but the chase must go on!

Where does this take us?

For me, it’s a reminder to do my annual retreat into the book Essentialism. Less but better. Fewer choices, well-executed create real value and meaning. Rid the mind of more for the sake of more, and instead be in a search for impact and vitality.

Looking Good, Feeling…Frustrated

I’ve always been particularly aware of how I look. I would even be so aware to call it vain at times. Today is no different. The guy on the left is prideful of the work and results. The guy on the right knows the inside looks presents different challenges from the outside.

It’s the end of the month, which means I’m wrapping up my monthly scorecard. The sole reason for my Monthly Scorecard is to focus on those efforts which provide vitality and energy. The side effective is a positive one, and it is being in shape. But I believe it also helps keep my autoimmune disease at bay, most of the time…

Another Spring Time. Another Flare.

I believe this is the 3rd year in a row I experienced an Ulcerative Colitis flare up. I know for certain I had one last year and I’m pretty sure I had one in 2021 as the stress from Covid was having a major impact on everyone’s lives. Myself included.

Starting 2023, I was going to really attack the Scorecard work and ensure I was showing up for those around me as my best self. I’ve been incredibly diligent with my exercise and diet. Not perfect, but very few slip ups or cheats along the way, so the most recent internal discomfort came as a real shock to me. I was controlling the things I could control to a large degree. Here I am talking again about the word control. It was a prominent theme in my post about receiving therapy through Better Help. This is where I’ve spent time reflecting this last week as I had to miss out on a business trip.

The Illusion of Control

The whole reason for the monthly tracking was to distill down the essential efforts which selfishly, make me feel great as a person. It shouldn’t come as a shock, but with consistency my energy is higher, my sleep is better, my body “looks” better and I’m in control of my symptoms…but am I????

I realized the scorecard work is a daily mechanism and a lever of consistency I can count on. What it isn’t however, is a forcefield of control. I’ve yet to truly find out how to stay in remission 24/7. I am learning through trial and error the elements of my lifestyle I have to avoid or limit.

I have a disease. The disease doesn’t have me.

I got to a point the last week or so, which some may call submission. Brilliant doctors across the globe are studying this disease and how it’s triggered. They’re studying how to treat it and keep their patients in remission. Right now, there isn’t a true “cure” so there is a good chance it could be with me for some time. I’m keenly aware of this and I know I’ve also navigated similar disruptions in the past. ~This too shall pass.

Although the physical aspect of the disease isn’t pretty, and I don’t wish it on anyone, I think the mental piece is actually harder because it is omnipresent. These are the daily thoughts of someone with Crohn’s Disease or UC:

  • What am I going to eat, and how will it make me feel?
  • (if) for some reason I shouldn’t feel good, is there a restroom nearby?
  • if not nearby, where is the closest one?
  • How long are we going to be in the car?
  • Am I actually feeling really good today… cup coffee, or a beer sounds lovely (but also problematic)
  • How long will I have to be on this medication?
  • How do I tell those close to me I need to back out of _____________ (meeting, event, trip, etc.) without being a huge flake?

Searching for the answers to these daily “lifestyle” questions can be anxious and exhausting and why I spend so much time trying to sharpen my mental axe. I know the disease is going to punch back, and when it does, I need to be ready. I need to be ready to show up for my family, my friends, my coworkers and yes…myself!

Perspective is Always Necessary

I have a friend battling cancer. First it was lung cancer (and he never smoked), he beat that…TWICE! Now he’s fighting the same fight against brain cancer with complete faith and his wife by his side. Wow!! To be that strong. Remarkable doesn’t even begin to describe it. But you can read about it here: Eat Pray Breathe

I leave this post thinking about reading more research and trying to gain a better understand of what “springtime” in the midwest has to do with my body annually battling inflammation. I wonder if others experience similar seasonality with symptoms? Either way, tomorrow is May 1st, and it will be back to work on restoring vitality and continuing momentum!

PS – my wife is amazing and always picks up the slack.

Living Life’s Contradictions

I believe, life is meant to be lived on both sides of the coin, not the extremely narrow margin on the rim…never tipping one way, or the other.

For goodness sakes…please try BOTH. Now!

How could one day, I act one way, and then, a short time later, be on the entire other side of the spectrum? Because I believe life is about managing both sides of a situation, learning from it, growing as a person, and living as a contradiction the entire time.

My life is one big contradiction.

Some people have a BIG problem with this. Like it was once written: a person can only stand for one thing, or act only one way for their entire life. I know what that sounds like…BORING.

Curious as to what I’m thinking about?  Here are the contradictions I’m living at this very moment.

  1. Money – I’m traditionally a very frugal person. I’m an investor, a saver, playing the long game. However, how do you know how many turns on this earth you get? None of us know. That being said, every so often I’ll spend money like a teenager with my first paycheck in hand. New Jeans – Yup.  New Sneakers – yup. New Johnston and Murphy – why not.  Anything else I can find in that 24 hr period. Contradiction. Yin and Yang. Stretch and reflex. Contradiction.
  2. Work-Life Balance – I’m not about finding 50/50 balance in the often talked about, seldom lived, zen world of “work-life balance”. I think “balance” is whatever makes a person happy. For me, that’s a few weeks in a row of being really into work. I mean INTO it, thinking about it in the morning, on the weekends, at night, etc. Studying it. Burying myself in the business and thinking about it. I love it. Conversely, a couple times a year I love just unplugging for a few days to clear the body and brain. No connection. No pitches or P&Ls. Stretch and Reflex. Contradiction. Balance so it seems, for me.
  3. Management – I’ve always believed a leader must lead from the front, and yet, can’t ever be afraid to jump in and “push the broom” so the saying goes. Alternatively, spend too much time in the details or “pushing the broom” and others can’t grow. Challenges in delegating show themselves like a bad skin rash. Contradiction…do both!  When and where it makes sense. Many aren’t comfortable with this grey advice.  I’m sorry. It’s reality. If there was a leadership equations for the 100’s of personalities out there, we’d of figured it out by now.
  4. Tortoise and Hare – There are places in my life I can think very long term and exercise tremendous patience. There are MANY others where I’m consistently impatient (ask my better half)…like REALLY impatient. Focusing every day on what can be moved, improved or accomplished now. Many small wins, compounded over time (Slight Edge Principles) is how the game is won. Consistently balancing the tight-wire of when to push, and when to pause and let be. Contradiction.  Be patient but also be ready to SPEED UP!!! FASTER FASTER.
  5. Time – I believe in investing in others. Investing in their hopes, dreams, causes, and helping think through troubles. Knowing that somewhere in the world, the good deed will come back my way and bear fruit because I’ve sure needed the help! Somehow. Someway.  Alternatively, and admittedly so (The Right Selfish), I can get very selfish with my time. Focusing much of my energy internally to audit my thoughts, feelings, and current path in life. It is a “Give and Keep” tug of war. Contradiction.

I believe humans need and thrive in some element of change and/or newness. Stay status quo and insurmountable boredom takes over. Ask any client who has fired an agency because, “they’re happy, but wanted to see something new” – that’s called losing!

Structure is good, but boredom is without a doubt the enemy of Thriving. Thriving is the key to happiness. This is why I live the contradiction. Balancing what works or normal on one hand, while not being afraid to cut ties and try something entirely opposite on the other. Why not?

That is balance for me.

It might not work for you or anyone else for that matter.  But that’s the point.

Find your balance.

ACTION ITEM: Find and embrace your contradictions. Balance ensues and you’ll grow in the process.

The Quality of Your Life = The Quality of Your Questions

questions

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire

The inspiration for writing this post is actually a Tony Robbins quote I came across a few times now in my recent readings.  It’s an extremely valuable statement because it shapes the lives we lead every day.   If we don’t change our questions, and direction, we are likely to end up where we are going.

So that we may better understand the two directions available to each of us, lets look at conflicting lifestyles and frame both viewpoints with the questions each asks.

Let me tell you about the “wanters.”

Life happens to these people.  Here is what their questions sound like:

  • Why me?
  • Why can’t I do this?
  • Why does my boss hate me?
  • Why can’t my parents just be wealthy and leave me a big inheritance?
  • How is it I never have enough time?
  • Why does he get a raise, and I never make any more money?
  • What can I do to be more lucky?
  • Why do I have to learn this?
  • How can I provide as little effort as possible and still get paid?

A strong “victim” pattern exists to the style and direction of these questions.  There is little to no control.  Please read through each of these questions again and take a deep breath.  I’ve asked these questions too.  It doesn’t make us bad people, we were just ignorant to what else was out there.

The cure for ignorance is curiosity.

That said, what questions can you ask to get more out of your life, career, or business starting today?  Here are some I’ve learned over the years.  Ask, and a better life awaits you.

  • Why not me?
  • Why not now?
  • What more can I learn?  (What don’t I know, that I should know)
  • How can I provide more value to differentiate myself, my product or my company?
  • What can I learn from his/her success?
  • What does success look like?
  • What more can I do to help?
  • What do I want from life?
  • What can I say “NO” to?

What did you notice?

There is a strong pattern of “ownership” in this question pattern.  I could keep going, but instead I found this wonderful link on Forbes.  35 Questions That Will Change Your Life.   There are categories and I found the “Self Awareness” grouping the most insightful.  I really encourage you to dive into the list when you’re done reading.  There will be a couple “frying pan to the face” moments with at least two questions you read.  That’s what we’re looking for!

I ask three questions to myself and my wife frequently to evaluate who we are,  where we are, and where we’re going.  Life moves fast, and believe it or not people and goals change over the years.  Use these three question to reset your course, or provide better direction along your journey.

Three Powerful Questions For a Lifetime of Fulfillment:

  1. What are my world-class talents? (can’t have more than three) – WHO AM I?
  2. What achievements make me really happy, fulfilled, or satisfied? – WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING?
  3. What do I really want from life? – WHY?

The questions aren’t the hard part.  It’s the brutal honesty required in the answers and actions that sets believers apart from achievers.  Side note, if you really want a ton of money to buy expensive clothes and drive a Ferrari, be honest.  Do NOT lie about who you are or what you want.  It will either slow you down immensely or set you back.  Be honest and own it.

“Change the questions you ask yourself and change the direction of your life” – Tony Robbins

ACTION ITEM:  For me the art of asking the right questions is an acquired skill.  Skills are developed over time.  Personally I feel I’m a few levels away from my black belt in asking the right questions so I continue to practice.  Every day I try and change the angle of a conversation with a  better question.  Think first, then ask and don’t forget to listen.

31 Things I Learned Turning 32

Yesterday (March 15) was my birthday.  Beware the Ides of March.  I took some time to reflect on the previous year and just where I’ve been. 31

The 31st year of my life was a really challenging and wonderful year.  Below is a list of 31 things I learned in the last 365 days.  I’ll also leave you with what I’m most looking forward to in the upcoming year.

1. Be myself – every day

2. Read more

3. Embrace fears – everyone is scared (Jay-Z)

4. Say “Thank You” more often

5. Ask more questions

6. Meditate often

7. Listen to more podcasts (most are FREE)

8. Help accomplish goals for others

9. Don’t take myself too seriously

10. Start more: projects, relationships and solutions

11. Launch a blog and share something great with the world (check!)

12. Waiting sucks – go now!

13. Buy a gift for an unsuspecting friend

14. Find a mentor or mentors

15. State your intentions clearly

16. Buy a drink for your friends

17. Don’t be the smartest guy in the room

18. Challenge yourself to get better every day

19. Goals are great, discipline is paramount

20. Get uncomfortable

21. Save a little for a rainy day

22. Eliminate average: thoughts, actions and people

23. Dress for success

24. Ask for help – no great thing was ever accomplished alone

25. The Masters (golf tournament) is a really magical place.  Thank you Juan for the tickets!

26. It’s okay to say NO

27. Tell a better story

28. Donating time can be more valuable than money

29. Take time to recharge

30. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer

31. The number of people who REALLY CARE is astounding.  Thank you to all of my friends!  I hope I can repay you.

Looking forward to year 32, I can tell you without reservation I’m most looking forward to being a dad.  Everyone tells me it’s a life changing event and I’m ready for the challenge.  Come August 2014, Beth and I will be welcoming another Keen Mind into the world.

ACTION ITEM: Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned in the last year.  I’d really love it if you’d share your thoughts in the comments below with our entire tribe.

 

Find Your Dimmer Switch

Are the lights on?

I just got done listening to an Entrepreneurs on Fire podcast from John Lee Dumas (great podcast btw).  The guest was JD Roth, former owner of Get Rich Slowly and current blogger at More than Money.  JD’s response to one of John’s questions really hit me.  The question was, “can you please tell the fire listeners about a lightbulb moment you had?”

JD’s answer wasn’t what I thought I’d hear.  He said his lightbulb moment was more of a dimmer switch than a lightbulb.  It was a slow progression not an instant aha moment.  I believe more now than ever people are in desperate search of this aha moment.  They’re looking for the fastest way possible to make a million dollars or lose 50 lbs.  “Aha” means I figured it out and sold it in the same instance. Screen Shot 2014-02-23 at 10.05.33 AM

Trouble is the world doesn’t work this way.   I hate to be your dream crusher, but “aha” isn’t realistic.  You may have a better chance of winning the lottery.  JD’s lesson was it’s going to take some focused effort and work.  Oddly enough the pursuit of his dream required patience.

Back to the lightbulb/dimmer switch.

I give an immense amount of thanks to Justin Wise (@justinwise) and his Think Digital blog.  My wife follows Justin’s sister on Iowa Girl Eats (an immensely successful food blog) and recommended I checked Justin out.  My dimmer switch was on.  The light was extremely dim, but the power was flowing to the light.

This step was what I’ll refer to later down the road as “ignition.”  It got me started.  I dove head first into Justin’s teachings and maybe more importantly his network.  I dug into his podcasts, I followed Casey Graham, and I got introduced to Pat Flynn on Twitter.  I link to each of these guys as they’ve provided me with a ton of value.  A TON! I don’t care if you’re interested in launching a blog, starting a business, or just getting deeper into the learning process.  These guys will help.

I’m learning more about business now from a multitude of different angles and business possibilities than the pervious five years combined.  I’m using their teaching here in my blog and with team’s in the office.  The results are simple.  A Keen Mind is growing by the day and I’m seeing great results in my professional life.

The dimmer switch analogy is terrific because it’s real life.  Not some fairly tale we’re bombarded with daily on social media.  It takes time, an immense effort, and more focused power to reward the light we’re all looking to achieve.

ACTION ITEM: The first thing I’d do is subscribe to John’s Entrepreneur On Fire podcast.  There are nearly 500 episodes with really great content available.  The second thing I’d do is take a hard look at your goals and your dimmer switch.  Is it on?  If not, START.  If it’s on, focus on the next steps you need to take to burn that light a little brighter!

 

 

 

5 Valuable Characteristics From My Wife

In honor of my wife’s birthday today I wanted to share with you five of her most brilliant characteristics and what I’ve learned from her Keen Mind.

I frequently refer to Beth as my “better half” in conversation.  You may shrug this off as a joke, but I’m not the least bit kidding and here are five reasons why.

Five Characteristics I learned from my wife

5 Characteristics – Photo Courtesy of http://www.cmphotography.de

1. Selflessness – If Beth kept a list every day of who she was worried about, or was looking out for I can promise you she would be near the bottom if not last on the list.  I have no idea what makes her this way but it’s really easy to admire.  Family, friends, co-workers, recent acquaintances needs all come before her own.  This is tough love for me as I can be selfish from time to time.  Beth won’t allow it.

2. Flawed – Like every single one of you reading this Beth has her faults.  However, unlike most of us she’s well aware of what she is and what she isn’t.  She doesn’t struggle with what she’s not.  She doesn’t lose sleep over it, and she’s certainly not interested in pretending.  It’s not worth her time.  Once again I’m learning.  I used to strive to be perfect.  Perfect for her is being happy with who she is.

3. Organized – Yes those that know her well will tell you she’s very organized, tidy, and clean.  Oddly enough, I’m not referring to her cleaning skills.  I’m talking about her mental organization.  No one I know is as mentally organized as my wife.  She can turn herself off when she needs rest and power up when extra energy is needed.  This can only happen with a well programmed brain.  She’s working with me on this one as I have a tough time: shutting down, turning off, letting go, etc.

4.  Curious – Beth is 100% up to try new things.  Although it may not be with reckless abandon she’s a gamer to try new things.  We’ve traveled without notice, tried new and exotic foods, and she helped me launch this blog.   This is one characteristic we both comply with and I hope never diminishes.

5. Challenge – Beth will frequently challenge my thoughts, plans and actions.  It’s funny because I consider myself a pretty good schemer of new concepts and plans.  Yet, every one of them I run by her gets better, more streamlined or more valuable after our discussion.  She’s honest with feedback and we don’t always agree (if you know the competitive streak in each of us this gets interesting).  I really appreciate this as she’s challenging to help me or my project get better.  There is never negative intent and she’s compassionate about helping me see a different angle.  Lastly, I’m working at this one as well.

ACTION ITEM: I try to end every post with an action item and this is no different.  Today I’d love it if you read this to wish my wife a Happy Birthday!!!  You can tweet her at @Beth_Keeney or if you’re friends with her on Facebook send her a note.  Thanks again all!

 

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

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I just got done reading, “Mindset, The New Psychology of Success” thanks to a recommendation from a friend on Twitter (Chris Wood – follow him @ChrisWood415).

This fantastic book took me about three days to read and I’ll likely read it at least two or three more times.  The reason why, is the information contained in this book is absolutely necessary for all leaders today.  NECESSARY!

The book compares the fixed and growth mindset and the affect each has on leadership, ability to learn, and overall mental capacity for growth.  I’m extremely visual so I’ll make the following comparison.

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Specifically the Fixed Mindset: I see this as a ruler.  The fixed mindset is always focused on measurement.  Best, brightest, smartest, most successful, etc.  These people and leaders are in it for the “I” and accomplishment for themselves.  Likely even at the expense of others.  History tells us the brutal stories of great fixed minded leaders so focused on their own greatness and power that they neglected to see what was really happening to their empires.

The ruler is also inelastic.  It can’t and does NOT change.  You could say the fixed mindset would agree with, “It is what it will be” nothing more or less.  Intelligence is fixed.  You’re either blessed to be smart or dumb.  You’re either “gifted” or normal.  You have the skill or don’t.  The book outlines many leaders of enormous companies with this mindset and the fatal flaws that occurred because of it.  I won’t tell you who they are because I think you should read the book yourself.

a-ball-of-clay-webThe second mindset is the Growth Mindset.  I associate this to a ball of clay.  A ball of clay isn’t sexy.  But it’s shape and form are not yet defined.  Through different experiences, pressures, and the impressions of those around it, the clay will take on a new shape.  Possibly many different shapes in its lifetime.

The growth mindset is one we should strive for.  Growth minded leaders are not the smartest, brightest, most ego driven.  They’re in it for the “we” and for the team.  They appreciate the challenge and feedback of others so long as its focused on the betterment of the entire group.  Growth minded leaders are in it for the challenge and not entirely the absoluteness of the outcome or result.

Looking at this from a personal perspective I can tell you I battle to be a better growth minded person.  I grew up with a mindset of achievement and look what I did.  It was the fastest way to get ahead.  Win more often.  I’m great, look at me, I’ve accomplished, I deserve reward.

I believe it’s the result of age, experiences and the willingness to learn that this is changing for me personally.  Perspective is a wonderful teacher if you just allow it to sink in.  Lastly, I’d like to thank Carol Dweck for writing this terrific and easy to read piece.  I hope to share it with many others.

ACTION ITEM: I highly encourage you to make the small investment to read this book.  But please don’t stop there.  Share it with a friend, not to call them out as a “fixed” mindset person, but to challenge them to think differently and get better!  To make this easy I’ve provided a direct link to the book below.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success