Reflecting on a Decade of Growth: My 30’s

My 30’s were a decade of transformation…beyond the fact that the guy on the left looks much more rested and spry!

One may argue recency bias, but looking back at all the decades of my life [0-9], [10-19], [20-29], and [30-39] I believe I took the largest leap forward in many areas of my life in my 30s.

Let us quickly recap the decades:

  • 0-9: Largely Developmental and learning [how and where] to go to the bathroom
  • 10-19: Puberty and all the weirdness that comes with it, along with middle school and high school.
  • 20-29: Selfishly focused hard work. Living on my own. Work hard and play hard. Looking out for #1.
  • 30’s…

I stumbled upon this idea while thumbing through some old journals I have stored in my office. It was fascinating looking back on the ideas I wrote about, the goals I set and the thoughtful scribbles I catalogued along the way. Much of this journaling started in my mid to late 20’s so I had a basis for comparison when I started thinking about what’s to follow.

Foregoing the obvious and expected, like many others, my 30’s offered many milestones in my life. These thoughts are less about the milestones themselves and more about what I learned in the process.

  1. Parenthood: Becoming a parent was a scientific journey for my wife and I. After years of trying “the old fashioned way,” we found ourselves at the University of Iowa Hospitals looking for help in starting our family. What followed was an IVF journey I couldn’t ever be prepared for. I say this because my wife and I are “Type A Preparers” by nature. We control. We organize. We define when things happen…except for pregnancy. Soon I would learn all I could control in this process were the black circles I drew on the small of my wife’s back with a Sharpie. Followed by the two inch needle I’d insert inside the circle and inject progesterone oil on a nightly cadence into her lower back. I don’t remember how many consecutive nights we did this for, but it felt like years! Fast-forward 9 years, and we’ve got an 8-year old son and nearly 4-year old daughter. We’re eternally grateful for all those at the U of I who helped us fulfill our parenthood dreams…albeit in a test tube. There is no love like being a parent. There is no uncertainty like being a parent. This is a bit of foreshadowing, but it was also my first experience with being truly anxious.
  2. Business Ownership: On Feb. 27, 2012 I sent a LinkedIn message to a friend titled, “Opportunity Calls.” Yes, I saved the email too!! A few months later at 30 years old, the introduction paid off and the Agency I worked for acquired TargetClick Marketing to start a new digital division of the larger company. It was exhilarating and I got the itch to scratch on “owning a business” from my new colleagues. Greg, Doug, Therese, I’m forever grateful for you all and your friendship! As luck would have it, opportunity called to me a few years later and I was on the buyers side of the table again in 2015. The business I bought into was already successful, but we quickly drove it to new heights in a couple short and explosive years of growth. Just a year later, we had an offer to sell the business to a Private Equity backed holding company out of Memphis, TN. It was Dec. 1, 2016. I was 34. When my contract expired I’d be 38 or 39 years old. As the story unfolded, I left that business at 39 and President of the organization. Almost funny isn’t it? How timing works. It’s almost like that chapter, that decade, that opportunity needed closure at 39!
  3. Investing: I’ve always had a strong interest in money. I’m interested in how it works, how it’s made, and how different groups of people think about and use money. In my 30’s my “money education” grew exponentially via the concept of asking some really simple questions to people I considered successful. What do the wealthy do? What do the wealthy own? Key word: OWN. I made it my mission to learn, apply knowledge and own more assets in my 30’s. I already noted the business ownership above (Check box). At 35, I started my real estate investment and ownership journey. I made the decision early in my 30’s and set a plan to “retire” by the ripe age of 45. There were two ways to do this. Win the lottery, or create income outside of any [9-5 income] to cover any basic monthly expenses. Real Estate offered the mechanism to accomplish the latter. I’m nearly five years into the journey and about 65% of the way to F-R-E-E-D-O-M (Say it like William Wallace screams it in Braveheart!!). Lesson here, big dreams are terrific. But nothing happens without taking big action!
  4. Anxiety Lesson #1: I first learned about and truly experienced anxiety in my 30’s. The first time I’d ever had this feeling it was chemically induced and it was when I quit an all too frequent chewing tobacco habit. When that chemical addiction was defeated, I thought the feeling would be as well, but I was pulled back into some of those panicky feelings when going through the IVF process noted above. Being anxious is an exhausting experience. There were times I felt paralyzed in the “trigger protocol” of everything we were going through and we had so much HOPE invested in the process…but no guarantee lived on the other side. I didn’t want to feel our dreams getting crushed AGAIN! What I learned is the anxiety wasn’t about hope. It was about control. A lesson I’d learn again closing out my 30s with COVID.
  5. Anxiety Lesson #2 – COVID. I don’t think we’re done learning about the true impact of COVID-19 on our mental well-being. COVID was a lasting anxious moment for me tied to things I thought I was owed and people I didn’t want to let down. When COVID initially hit, it was shock and awe for everyone…myself included. Those first few months with the kids at home, while running a business that was losing money every day, week, month felt impossible, but we got through the 1st wave. But not without making significant cuts to staff. If you’ve never done this, or sat up late at night staring at a spreadsheet with humans names on them…it’s REALLY hard. By dawn, a plan had to be in place to reduce expenses by many thousands of dollars. The fastest way to do that is something we’re seeing today across Big Tech companies. Eliminate large chunks of payroll. I’d never experienced this before, much less be one of the key trigger men. I wasn’t sleeping well or dealing well with the weight of these decisions. People’s lives were in my hands and I couldn’t find a fast or easy decision to circumvent this choice. In the Spring of 2021 my body started breaking down from the lasting stress and my Ulcerative Colitis flared again. Heavy lies the crown of leadership! At the end of it all, I can say I just didn’t want to let my peers, colleagues and former partners down. We were also owed some money from the sale of our business, and due to COVID I thought there was little to no chance we’d ever see it. Was this my fault? Again, these feelings are all about CONTROL. Now I’m afforded the opportunity to sit with these feelings and be more aware. I’m more aware of what’s in my control vs. what is not. I’m more open to talking through deeply challenging situations and most importantly asking for help/guidance.

At the expense of getting too windy on this post, I learned much more in my 30’s, but a post needs closure. I learned to meditate effectively in my 30s. I learned I have some of the best friends a person could ask for. I also learned a great deal about my body and diet.

All of this to say, I look forward to crushing the next decade in my 40s!

Why Do I Tear Up on Flights?

Why Do I Tear Up on Flights

The captain comes on the overhead,

<in a smooth coffee-soaked voice> “This is your Captain speaking. We will be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet in route to [destination]. We found some smooth air, so we’re going to turn OFF the fasten seatbelt sign. Please feel free to move about the cabin and, thank you for flying Delta”

Choice sets in…

Most planes now are equipped with wi-fi and if a traveler chooses, they can stay connected to the world and the web anywhere above 10,000 feet, no matter how long the journey. Or, you can choose to take a moment for yourself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say, I probably fly more than 98% of the adult population (I was going to say 99%, but that seems like a LOT). It can be hard. Odd hours and time away from the family are part of it. However, every challenge has a silver-lining.

Flying gives me the unique opportunity to unplug and reflect.

Something magical happens when the jet engines on a plane growl and the jet climbs through the clouds revealing a beautiful landscape scaling as far as the eye can see. Sometimes it is a sunrise, sometimes it is a sunset.  Other times its clouds and the heavens for eternity.

Funny thought…it never storms above the clouds.

Peaceful. Peaceful mind.

Most of my travel is done by myself, or should I say, no one I really know, is sitting right next to me.

For the most part there is no one to bother me. Airplane mode!

No one to interrupt my thoughts. Honestly, think about the limited amount of time you had with uninterrupted thought today?

**notification, post, like, retweet, snap, snap, snap, retweet, instagram like. Text, Text, email…God forbid (A PHONE CALL!!!)**

For most, the answer is slim to none.

It’s become a conditioned response with my travel schedule.

We climb above the clouds,

I open the window (cuz I’m a “window seat” guy).

I peer out into God’s beautiful creation.

Above the clouds, everything is simple. Maybe more importantly, I can’t go anywhere.  I’m on a plane and I’m assigned to only one seat. Instead of complaining about it… enjoy it.

Gratitude sinks in.

I take time to reflect on where I am, where I’m going, and look back at where I’ve been.

Inevitably I literally tear up.

I’m not full blown crying, but I’m full of positive emotion and gratitude. I end my emotional cycle with a flood of fulfillment and excited energy. Usually travel involves something exciting to be conquered on the other end.  What better way to start the journey?

I always preach taking time to think.

Flying gives me built in ability to do just that.

Most importantly, the pause for the quiet gives me time to reflect.  That’s the real lesson.

ACTION ITEM: Try, hard as it may be, to find some quiet alone time. Maybe even book a flight?

Stop. Think. Be grateful.

 

Riding Emotions and Two Years of Reflection

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It is the perfect time of year to pause, look back, and be thankful.

[To my son, may this give you some guidance 20+ years from now]

The last two years is a very significant timeframe for me and my family.

Just over two years ago (Dec. 16, 2014) I left my job. It was a really good job, with great pay, and I had terrific team members. But, it was a job, and I wanted more. I needed more.

Here is the Ledbury shirt I wore the day I resigned. You see, I remember crazy things like that. This shirt will make an appearance again later (cliff hanger). img_2909

Pause.

I took three weeks and five days off.

At this moment in time, no one (NO ONE) knows what the future will hold. I know I didn’t.

The only guarantees you have are your talents, and the story you’re telling yourself about what you believe. Consequently, these are also the only two things that matter in any venture.

Your Talents + Your Story

Looking back two years later here’s what happened (Reader’s Digest Version).

To start, I was scared. Was I making the right decision? I learned its ok to be scared. It means you have something to not only to lose, but to gain. Sometimes what people are most afraid of, is understanding how good something different truly can be. Understand the downside, and decide, but move —-> forward.

I was excited. If you know me well, I can get excited easily. Excitement and anxiety are nearly the same feelings, but the latter wears the cloak of fear. Both look toward the future and the future = uncertainty. How good could this really be? What I learned was, it was (and always is)…up to me. Make it great for you, and those around you!

The key to any journey is STARTING. Take the first step. As Steve Jobs says in his Stanford commencement address, “the dots will connect later.” You can’t possibly know how, but know life has a way of connecting down the road and awarding the daring.

Back to the story.

Our business grew. We grew as a direct result of many team members committed to answering the question, “How do we get better” every single day. No days off in this pursuit.

How do we get better, today?

We grew as a team and we had individual team members making massive strides in their personal growth. This is probably the most rewarding part of looking back over the last two years. Not numbers, or financials, but real changes in behavior. Numbers come and go. We’ve all seen it.  Behavior is power and can be counted on.

As we continued to grow, we took on new challenges. Most importantly, what does the future hold for our blossoming team?

In rolls 2016.

I had the unique opportunity to become a minority partner in the business as we jumped head first into 2016. An opportunity I’m thankful I had the audacity to ask for, and more thankful to my partners for their openness to engage one another.

Remember son, nothing is given. It must be earned.

This last year (2016) was followed up by even more tremendous growth by our team and individuals. If any of you are reading this, know that I am so very proud of you all. I know I’ve probably said it from time to time, but sometimes it’s more rewarding to read it. Job well done! But don’t stop now. Your sails are up, capture the tailwinds.

We reached an inflection point in our business.

Decision time.

Just recently, our business was acquired and we will be joining a new team in 2017. A future I’m tremendously excited for and an acquisition we’re proud of.

Looking back at the growth of the business in the last 12 years, I’m so very happy for my partners and their families. They started it. I simply tried to add fuel to the fire the last two years.

You see, its fun to look at now, but no one wants to think about or experience the pain, anxiety, travel, loss, and hardship in those early years. Those guys lived it and we’re all better off for it. Thank you!

Cheers gents! I hope it never gets old celebrating what you built.

Back to the shirt as I alluded to earlier in the post.

The day we signed off on all the paperwork, guess what I wore?  If you’re wondering…who thinks about what to wear for something like this? I do damnit!
img_2909

You guessed it. The Ledbury shirt I wore almost exactly two years prior when I resigned. It carried tremendous significance.

I promise you, no one knew but me, but boy did I ever know where that shirt had been two years ago. Two powerful (life changing) decisions were made wearing that shirt. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of it…No matter what!

After all that. You’d think I’d be over the moon excited. Right!?!

But here’s the funny thing.

Immediately I was sad.

That night we went out and had a few beers, shared stories, laughs, and even a few tears.

That night when I got home, I couldn’t sleep.

With my wife and son fast asleep, I went down to the basement and was sad like a person is the day of graduation. So much time, energy, and short history wrapped up…just like that. You don’t cry at graduation because you’re afraid of going to college or fear of going out on your own. You do so to be thankful.

I barely slept that night. What can I tell you?  I’m human with ALL the human emotions.

It took me a couple days to let everything sink in.

It took me a couple days to think about my wife and family that supported the decision the day it was made over two years ago. She knew it was going to work far before I EVER DID!

It took me a couple days to think about all the support I’ve received to make such a big dream happen (to all my close friends who believed in me).

This isn’t a post telling you to quit your job today. Use your head and do some thinking first. It’s also not about taking all the chances, but at some point you MUST TAKE A CHANCE. Why not?

More than anything this is a dump of thankfulness from my heart, and a nudge in the direction of listening to your gut.

Lastly, its a big thank you to anyone who’s ever read (you right now), liked, or shared a post. I started this journey a couple yeas ago with the idea that maybe (just maybe) I had a few unique ideas to share and that the most important thing I could ever achieve would be to help someone else achieve their goals, their mission, their dreams.

I don’t know if I’m helping to change the world, but I’ve helped a few people think a little differently.

I’ve helped a few people start meditating and they’re telling me it is bettering their life.

I’ve helped a few people get a raise or a new job.

I’ve been able to help friends as they take on new and bigger opportunities. If nothing else, I just listen.

I’ve helped nudge a few more to follow their dreams.

Thank you all for taking time to personally tell me I had anything to do with any of it. You did it yourself. Maybe you just didn’t see it right away.

From the bottom of my heart.

Merry Christmas,

Happy New Years and cheers to what the future has in store!

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Recap

First off, I must start this post with a sincere apology.

I didn’t realize til about a week ago the last three posts hadn’t gone out to the tribe for days 29, 30, and 31 of my challenging questions.  EPIC Fail.

I’m sincerely sorry and it lacks class.  Something I’m not proud of.

What happened, you wonder?  Life happened.  I was traveling and the big man upstairs welcomed home one of our family members (and his biggest supporters).  Mind you, if I was coaching myself I’d tell you these are excuses.  But, I’ve always been open to my readers and that’s the way it will continue.

Nonetheless, I wanted to recap the final three posts here and share a brief snippet about what I learned.

Day 29: Am I taking time today to appreciate and LIVE?

Day 29

Day 30: Am I thinking BIG enough?

Day 30

 

Day 31: How will I be remembered?Day 31

Recap:  This project meant a lot to me.  It’s also proved (short to my my last 3 day blunder) the people following this blog are hungry for more content like this.  I’d never done 31 days of straight content production and editing so I also learned a thing or two about time management and scaling a project like this.

I’ll leave you with this.  I had many more than 31 questions when I started my list.  I chose these because after some time reflecting these questions were the ones I was personally struggling to answer most.  Maybe this was the case for you, maybe it wasn’t.  The point is, I hope it caused you to take a moment and reflect.  I hope it left you feeling unsatisfied and energized to continue taking your next opportunity head on.

ACTION ITEM: Over the last 30+ days I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and mentions on phone conversations about this list.  Thank you!  Thank you for not being afraid to tell someone you appreciate their work.  Like they say in the airports, “if you see something (you appreciate), say something!”

 

Labor Day Advice from Sir Francis Drake

A day of rest is a wonderful time for reflection.

I came across this quote while reading a financial planning book last week and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I think I’ve read it 10x since.  I couldn’t think of a better day than today to share it.  Enjoy the day off, but never settle.

Sir Francis Drake circa 1596

Sir Francis Drake

Disturb us O Lord when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little, when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us O Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess we have lost our thirst for the waters of life: having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity.  And in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us O Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture to wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us in the future in strength, courage, hope and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ.

Sir Francis Drake’s prayer before he set out to be the first man to circumnavigate the world.  Portsmouth, England 1577.

I’m no sailer, but I am the captain of my ship for this one and only voyage.  I will keep this prayer with me for the remainder of my working days as a reminder to never get too comfortable.

ACTION ITEM: Share this thought with someone you care about who you know could be achieving more.  This could be just the piece of motivation they need.