Monthly Archives: February 2017

The “Right” Selfish

I have many personality flaws. One is I can be selfish from time to time.

WIIFM – What’s in it for me?

It’s one flaw I’m working on…embracing. This may sound odd on the surface, but stay with me.

Most addicts learn the Serenity Prayer. Oddly enough, I think it has tremendous relevance here.

Many have heard part one:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

Most have not heard/read the second half:

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen

What does this have to do with me being selfish?

It has everything to do with it. It means embracing my flaws, and instead of beating myself up for it and trying to find a person I’m not, or perfection, finding ways to better channel this behavior to benefit others.

Here are some real-world examples where this feeling and post came to life.

CHURCH: The #1 reason I like going to church is, it makes ME feel better. It makes ME a better person. It is one hour of alone time for ME and my wife. It causes ME to slow down and reflect. Some people may have a big problem with this. I get it. However, I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear. This is how I feel.

Secondarily, I get more involved with others I don’t usually see when I’m there. I get to give back and get involved outside of my day-to-day life.  Selfishly, I need to get there more often.

GIFT GIVING: There are few things that make ME happier than giving someone else a gift. It makes ME feel good, making them feel good. I’m okay with giving more gifts. I’m helping two instead of just one.  Once again, you don’t have to like this…but it sure feels right to me.  Selfishly, I need to give more.

DONATING TIME/RESOURCES: I love talking shop, business ideas, business strategy or just ways to help others make money or better their lives. It gets my brain working without the constraints of “what should I charge?” for this time and ignites my passions. I really love it.  It’s the #1 reason for this blog. Helping others without expecting anything in return. But that’s a lie. I do expect something. Feedback.

The feeling I get when someone tells me something they read on this blog is impacting their life, or resulted in a BIG WIN…remarkable.

Remarkable

Selfishly, I need to reach out to others more.

This is an odd post for (once again) me. It’s not something I can even remotely think impacts your thoughts or your life as a reader, and that’s ok. Maybe this will stick. We all have our flaws. Instead of turning it into a fault forever, find a way to flourish in it’s existence.

Selfish yes. But, the RIGHT SELFISH. At least in my eyes.

ACTION ITEM: “I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” ― Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking

 

Why Do I Tear Up on Flights?

Why Do I Tear Up on Flights

The captain comes on the overhead,

<in a smooth coffee-soaked voice> “This is your Captain speaking. We will be cruising at an altitude of 30,000 feet in route to [destination]. We found some smooth air, so we’re going to turn OFF the fasten seatbelt sign. Please feel free to move about the cabin and, thank you for flying Delta”

Choice sets in…

Most planes now are equipped with wi-fi and if a traveler chooses, they can stay connected to the world and the web anywhere above 10,000 feet, no matter how long the journey. Or, you can choose to take a moment for yourself.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say, I probably fly more than 98% of the adult population (I was going to say 99%, but that seems like a LOT). It can be hard. Odd hours and time away from the family are part of it. However, every challenge has a silver-lining.

Flying gives me the unique opportunity to unplug and reflect.

Something magical happens when the jet engines on a plane growl and the jet climbs through the clouds revealing a beautiful landscape scaling as far as the eye can see. Sometimes it is a sunrise, sometimes it is a sunset.  Other times its clouds and the heavens for eternity.

Funny thought…it never storms above the clouds.

Peaceful. Peaceful mind.

Most of my travel is done by myself, or should I say, no one I really know, is sitting right next to me.

For the most part there is no one to bother me. Airplane mode!

No one to interrupt my thoughts. Honestly, think about the limited amount of time you had with uninterrupted thought today?

**notification, post, like, retweet, snap, snap, snap, retweet, instagram like. Text, Text, email…God forbid (A PHONE CALL!!!)**

For most, the answer is slim to none.

It’s become a conditioned response with my travel schedule.

We climb above the clouds,

I open the window (cuz I’m a “window seat” guy).

I peer out into God’s beautiful creation.

Above the clouds, everything is simple. Maybe more importantly, I can’t go anywhere.  I’m on a plane and I’m assigned to only one seat. Instead of complaining about it… enjoy it.

Gratitude sinks in.

I take time to reflect on where I am, where I’m going, and look back at where I’ve been.

Inevitably I literally tear up.

I’m not full blown crying, but I’m full of positive emotion and gratitude. I end my emotional cycle with a flood of fulfillment and excited energy. Usually travel involves something exciting to be conquered on the other end.  What better way to start the journey?

I always preach taking time to think.

Flying gives me built in ability to do just that.

Most importantly, the pause for the quiet gives me time to reflect.  That’s the real lesson.

ACTION ITEM: Try, hard as it may be, to find some quiet alone time. Maybe even book a flight?

Stop. Think. Be grateful.