Hey there, fellow dads! As a husband and father myself, I get it. Life’s a juggling act, and sometimes it feels like we’re on a tightrope without a safety net. From career demands to family responsibilities, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. But fear not, because today, we’re tackling the top 5 issues dads face and sharing some strategies to help you stay grounded while keeping the family ship afloat.
1. Time Crunch: Ah, the eternal struggle. Between work, family, and personal time, there never seems to be enough hours in the day. But here’s the thing: prioritize. Identify what truly matters most and allocate your time accordingly. Set boundaries at work, delegate when possible, and carve out quality time with your family. Remember, it’s about quality over quantity.
2. Financial Pressure: Providing for your family is no small feat, especially in today’s economy. But financial stress can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Take control by creating a budget, tracking your expenses, and saving for the future. Create margin between income & expense. It’s incredibly freeing. Lastly, communicate openly with your spouse about financial goals and work together as a team to achieve them.
3. Parenting Challenges: Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and every child is unique. From temper tantrums to teenage rebellion, there’s no shortage of challenges along the way. Stay calm, be consistent, and lead by example. Listen to your kids, validate their feelings, and provide guidance with love and patience. And don’t forget to cut yourself some slack—we’re all learning as we go.
4. Balancing Act: I’m fully in this one! Balancing the needs of your spouse, kids, and yourself can feel like walking a tightrope. But finding harmony is possible with clear communication and mutual respect. I’m working scheduling date nights with my wife to reconnect and prioritize your relationship. Delegate household tasks and share responsibilities to lighten the load. And don’t forget to take care of yourself—self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential. If you don’t feel good, everyone else gets the brunt of it.
5. Work-Life Integration: In today’s fast-paced world, the line between work and home life can blur, leaving little time for rest and relaxation. Set boundaries by establishing designated work hours and unplugging during family time. Prioritize self-care activities that recharge your batteries (for me its a Peloton Sweat, a Bodyweight EMOM). Whether it’s exercising, reading, or pursuing hobbies, find release. And remember, it’s okay to say NO and prioritize your well-being.
Give Yourself Grace
In conclusion, being a dad is no easy task, but it’s also one of the most rewarding roles we’ll ever have. By acknowledging and addressing the challenges we face, we can become stronger, more resilient fathers and partners. So let’s embrace the journey, support each other, and remember that we’re all in this together.
I’m excited to dive into a topic that’s near and dear to my heart: momentum. Whether you’re chasing dreams, crushing goals, or simply navigating life’s twists and turns, momentum is the secret sauce that keeps you moving forward. So, grab a cup of your favorite brew and let’s chat about why momentum matters and how you can harness its power for your own journey to success.
Picture this: You’re standing at the starting line of a marathon called life. You’ve got big dreams, ambitious goals, and a burning desire to make things happen. But here’s the kicker – progress can sometimes feel like pushing a boulder uphill. That’s where momentum swoops in to save the day.
Momentum isn’t just about speed; it’s about consistency, progress, and forward motion. It’s that feeling of being in the flow, where every step you take propels you closer to your destination. And here’s the best part – once you kickstart momentum, it becomes a self-sustaining force that propels you forward with less effort.
So, how do you create or harness momentum for goal achievement? Let’s break it down:
Start Small, Dream Big: Break your goals down into bite-sized chunks and focus on taking consistent, actionable steps each day. Small wins build momentum and fuel your motivation to tackle bigger challenges.
Build Routine and Discipline: Establishing a daily routine and sticking to it creates a sense of momentum in your life. Whether it’s waking up early to hit the gym, dedicating time to work on your passion project, or practicing mindfulness, consistency breeds progress.
Stay Flexible and Adapt: Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, but don’t let roadblocks derail your momentum. Stay adaptable, embrace change, and use setbacks as opportunities to learn, grow, and pivot in new directions.
Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress along the way. Whether it’s reaching a milestone, overcoming a challenge, or achieving a goal, take time to pat yourself on the back and savor the moment.
Remember, momentum is like a muscle – the more you flex it, the stronger it becomes. So, lace up those metaphorical sneakers, take that first step, and let momentum carry you toward the extraordinary life you deserve. Keep hustling, keep grinding, and above all, keep moving forward.
Settling into a 8-9 hr. car ride, I had much time to think while leaving the Ozarks in far Southern Missouri.
I’d spent the last three days along with three of my best friends at Big Cedar Lodge, where we played golf at Ozarks National, Payne’s Valley, and Top of the Rock. It was just awesome. Any expectations we had, were exceeded. The service. The views. The food. All excellent. We capped off the night with dinner at Osage Restaurant with a sunset view of the lake, and were welcomed to bagpipes walking off the 9th green at Top of the Rock’s charming par 3 course. Again, awesome!
Action Speaks Louder than Words
I have to give enormous props to my wife here for pushing me to make this trip happen. I’ve talked about a big trip with “the boys” for a couple of years, but always said “tomorrow” we’d get the details together.
Tomorrow is a Myth
With her strong encouragement, I worked with focused action in February to secure lodging and tee times on the resort to make it a reality. Schedules aligned for the four of us and we had a date and venue secured. Thank you Beth!!! Thank you. Thank you.
In our travels home in a euphotic state, we obviously already started planning our next adventure. What Top 100 courses should we tackle next? Where should we stay? When are we going? Who is coming?
I’ll confess I’ve spent most of my professional life, or post college graduate life, planning for the day I’d retire. I’ve also spent considerable energy thinking about expediting that retirement timeline into my 50’s and even 40s. I’m grateful I’ve done this, because having a plan and working a plan bares fruit. But as much as it will be incredibly valuable to have set a plan for “tomorrow”, In Missouri I received a slap in the face about the power of TODAY!
Life Events
We’ve all seen the individual “reborn” from an experience reminding them of their mortality. Maybe it’s a diagnosis, maybe it’s a car accident, maybe it’s a medical event. These people are said to have, “A new lease on life” and embrace their remaining days with immediacy and vigor. Trips are taken, goals are crushed, and words that remained unspoken, pour out with deep authenticity and meaning. Death waits for us all. How will we meet it?
As I arrived back home to hugs from my family, I took a deep breath and texted my buddies. I thanked them for their comradery, friendship and for making the trip to create memories that would last a lifetime. A lifetime not promised tomorrow.
I’m incredibly blessed.
PS – If you’re thinking of going to play Payne’s Valley, or Ozark National, or Buffalo Ridge, or Top of the Rock…do! Do it now! You won’t be disappointed in any facet of your experience.
I’ve thought many times. Am I bi-polar, because I can’t choose my path? I often feel both powers of acceptance and achievement at play in my life like a cosmic duel. I want to push-push-push, and then sometimes completely LET GO. I also struggle with the ability to know when to STOP pushing.
It’s the yin and the yang, the push and the pull. Accepting vs. achieving. One day I’m listening to Zac Brown Band or classical piano, the next day it’s Jay-Z and 2Pac. But I guess that’s the rhythm of life at play.
Lets be real…I’m self diagnosed TYPE A. I’ve never been short on ambition and I take tremendous pride for the ability to “achieve” the goals set out in front of me. There are times however (many of them), where I wonder if my ambition causes me to hold on too tight, or expect immediate outcomes from my steering. The quote, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” would be spot on for this behavior.
I’ve heard Grant Cardone speak to this by saying, “Everything is my fault.” Good. Bad. Indifferent. It’s up to no one else, but me. 100% Ownership of all outcomes. This vibe comes to me pretty easily, but I also believe over time it stresses and oxidizes the body.
To complete the paradox, there are other times I feel absolute acceptance.
What will be, will be. I can gulp this behavior down like a shot of Robitussin, but it is possible.
The Principle: accept any and all outcomes from the effort, no matter good or bad. The side of me hoping and practicing to be decent Christian feels the need to consistently improve upon this line of thinking. The bible is littered with tales of submission and acceptance to the plan of the higher power.
What I’m learning is, Acceptance isn’t a behavior of throwing up my arms and simply being sloth waiting for life to hit from every direction. It’s not learned helplessness. The effort part is the only control. The outcome actually isn’t up to me.
Enter stoicism.
When I first thought of the stoics, I thought they were void of all feelings and robotic. It’s actually opposite of that. Stoicism is about radical acceptance. Feel all the feelings, but be non-judgmental. Love what happens to you and see it as a chance for personal growth.
“What a power man has to do nothing except what God will approve, and to accept all that God may give him.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.11
If you’re curious on the stoics, their thinking, or a daily practice, I highly recommend the book by Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic. The daily practice of reading one page of stoic philosophy helps rewire my brain for a more pragmatic approach that’s been battle tested 2,000 years ago.
“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well”
Epictetus, Enchiridion 8
Striking a Balance
That’s acceptance and achievement in the perfect balance for me. It’s a beautiful two-part harmony. Use my achievement wiring to drive the effort piece of the equation. Without effort, little can or will be achieved. As legendary coach Nick Saban calls it, “The Process”. Do what’s in front of you. Do your job. Do it well. Do it with consistency.
I’ll lean on the continued growth of my acceptance muscles to better accept the outcome. Good or bad, what happened, happened and a new path forward may need to be considered.
On this journey we call life, it’s important to have a compass. Wandering endlessly day-by-day will leave us in the same spot we started (which is unacceptable). As Tony Robbins says, “progress = happiness” and who doesn’t want more happiness?
So what am I thinking about or pursuing in 2024?
Health
My number one pursuit in 2024 is to find remission from my auto immune disease…by any means necessary!! Recently in November I started a new trial drug (Zeposia) which is designed to better regulate, or down regulate my immune system to trigger fewer flare ups or responses by my body to fight itself, and in so doing, cause harm. In evaluating options, the next choice of treatment was: a pill, a bi-monthly shot, or infusion every 8-weeks. We chose the daily pill.
But over the holidays, I flared again on the new drug. Talk about a downer!! Today, I’m currently taking about 3-4 different pills a day to combat symptoms and I’m in a desperate pursuit to bring this number to ZERO!!
I’ve grown tired of the ups and downs from the unpredictability. I’m tired of the anxiousness of the disease impacting my movement patterns, sometimes limiting travel (which I love) and just overall life. In early January I’m headed to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion on how to best rid myself of these symptoms and hopefully dial back on medication.
I’m attacking the disease from many angles: diet, fitness, and overall mental well being. I tell myself I know how the disease was initially triggered. It’s lovely cocktail mix: A great deal of hard living in my 20’s accompanied with amplified stress from being a tireless overachiever likely sent my body and immune system into a tail spin in the late 2000’s. But is this true?? Or is this story??
Fact vs. Story. That’s what I’m really looking to explore. I’m not looking to only treat symptoms, instead I’m Indiana Jones in search of the root cause. I’m told there is no “cure” per se to Ulcerative Colitis. I don’t buy it. I’m somewhat convinced the medication doesn’t work, otherwise why would I continually experience flare ups a few times per year, which are then resolved by steroids? So what’s the answer?
Is Diet the Answer?
I don’t know this either. Here’s what I do know. I know in 2023 I ate better than I have in my entire life. I consumed more vegetables, smoothies and pounds of spinach than I ever have. I consumed less alcohol than ever and I’m on the verge of calling it quits entirely. But still the symptoms. Is diet the answer?
Is Fitness the Answer?
I’m in better shape now at 41 than I was at 31. It’s not even a comparison. My body composition is better and I’m even hitting the golf ball further as a result. In 2023 I completed over 250 workouts and cycled nearly 8,000 minutes this year. In a quest for 10,000 pull ups, I completed 14,000. I am no iron man, but I am in good shape…but the symptoms remain. Is Fitness the answer?
Am I too type A?
I can only imagine being a reader of this post and reading my thoughts. Zac, of course you think simply changing the variables noted above (or by simply doing more) you’d step into remission and all would be well. It’s not that easy, and I’m coming to grips with that. So what’s the next phase?
Is the next phase Surrender?
In listening to recent sermon from Orchard Hill Church, the pastor spoke to surrender, and a season of waiting. I must admit, just hearing those words send me into toxic shock. I suck at waiting…and yet maybe that’s the larger lesson in all of this? I’ve tried searching for solutions via the mechanism of control. And yet, that’s not working. So maybe surrender is?
In almost every year in my adult life I’ve thought about goals and planning for the following year. It’s exciting, it’s ambitious, it’s challenging!! Every single year these include financial targets to hit and investments to make. While 2024 will likely include these goals, my #1 concern and focus will be on getting truly healthy.
You can have all the riches and success in the world, but if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.
Ask me when I was 12 what I wanted to be when I grew up, and short of naming a career, I also likely enthusiastically stated, “I want to be rich!”
Notice, I did not wish to be “wealthy”…but that’s another topic for another day. Youthful ignorance at it’s finest.
Who doesn’t want to be rich? Especially at a young age. Here’s the thing though, I don’t think the desire goes away as you grow older and I’ll make the argument “a rich life” evolves over time. But what does being “rich” really mean?
If I asked you, “how much would it take to be rich (monetarily speaking), what would you say?” Would the answer be the prototypical…One million dollars!!! Ok, that will last all of 10-20 years based on basic lifestyle choices. So maybe that’s not the right answer…
Right, double it! Two Million Dollars!!!!
Nope. Wrong again.
Rich isn’t about a million, or your second million, or your tenth million, although I’m all for these things. Rich is a definition of lifestyle and it’s entirely in the eyes of the beholder. When I was little I wasn’t thinking of Scrooge McDuck swimming in millions of coins. I wanted the lifestyle choices richness would provide.
A few years ago I read Ramit Sethi’s book, “I Will Teach You to be Rich” and I highly recommend it. While Ramit teaches many things on financial security and is definitely a [numbers guy] in every sense of the word, the #1 takeaway I had from the book was Ramit’s definition of, “A Rich Life”. Ramit recommends spending aggressively on the few things that bring you great joy. [note I said few, not everything]
I’m going off memory but here are a couple Rich lifestyle choices from Ramit:
Fly business class
Indulge in the nicest of sweaters (Ramit loves a great Cashmere Sweater)
Supply travel to family for large annual getaway
What is a Rich Life?
Ask yourself that question. What is does my “rich life” consist of?
To one person, it’s the ability to own their own an acreage on the outside of town, to have a family they care for deeply, and the ability to hunt & fish whenever they get the opportunity.
To someone in their 20’s free of commitment and short on responsibilities, their rich life is full of travel, living near or with close friends and experiencing all the world has to offer. This might include indulging in the hottest new restaurant, a great apartment and some hip fashion choices.
To someone in their 70’s, a rich life might look like complete financial freedom, escaping to warm weather in the winter, closeness to grandchildren and their ability to give endlessly to local charity via their time and accumulated wealth.
My point is you can make $50,000/yr and be rich. You can make $500,000 a year and be miserable in empty pursuits of “things” you think will make you happy.
Putting a holiday bow on this post, here are the elements of my Rich Life:
I wanted to live on a golf course (check)
Travel multiple times a year with wife & family. Minimum (1x to the ocean, 1x to the mountains) – it’s good for the mind & soul
Freedom with Income – This one is a work in progress, but I need income to show up every month regardless of employment. With the ultimate goal of financial freedom by 45. It’s not that I won’t work. It’s not needing the income to live. This creates flexibility to explore endless opportunity!
Experiences with Close Friends – I want to play golf and attend sporting events with those closest to me with unfailing consistency. Maybe top each off with a great meal and glass of wine!
Being in G-R-E-A-T physical health to have the energy and vitality to live a life free of restraint due to health limitations.
Notice what’s not on here. What I wear. What I drive. It’s all ephemeral. ~Merry Christmas all
Last week I was flying back from Boston and a recent business trip. While doing so, it’s quite common for me to catch up on a podcast or audiobook.
I happened to be listening to The Tim Ferriss Show and a recent podcast with Morgan Housel. This was of interest to me as I just wrapped up reading his book: The Psychology of Money. I love Tim’s longer form conversations as they get much deeper into a person’s feelings and beliefs.
Later into the podcast, Morgan said something profound. So profound in fact, that I stopped, hit rewind and listened to it again as I transcribed the thoughts into my notebook. Then I rewound again to ensure I heard it right!
What did he say?
He said, “None of it is profound, because there is soooooo much of it.” Now what was he talking about? Without me telling you directly, I decided to think about what could be on this list…and it’s rather long.
The News. It used to be once a day. Now with cable news it’s 24/7 and delivers the value of empty calories. Morgan asks, how profound would the news be if it was 1x per year? Rather meaningful right?
Luxury. If you think about it, luxury in America is all around us, but we’re so spoiled we don’t see it.
Rest/Relaxation. The goal isn’t to rest 24/7, although some think it is. Rest and relaxation are to be earned to be appreciated. A life without struggle isn’t worth living.
True Connection – Today it’s easier to connect with someone across the world than it’s ever been. And yet, true connection in society is more distant than it’s ever been.
Christmas Gifts – Yes, it’s that time of year to bless those around us with gifts. But do so with dozens, and they lose meaning. Chose wisely.
Information. There’s never been more information available. We don’t have an information problem. We have a discernment and action problem. When all information is important, we become paralyzed in execution.
False Beauty. Open your phone and you can find millions of photos perfectly posed and manicured for distribution and “likability”. Shredded men. Bikini clad babes. Everyone with a phone is a model.
More for the sake of more, leads us down a dangerous path. One I know I can be guilty of. Like a rich kid with infinite resources and a cocaine habit. Every hit, more unfulfilling than the last…but the chase must go on!
Where does this take us?
For me, it’s a reminder to do my annual retreat into the book Essentialism. Less but better. Fewer choices, well-executed create real value and meaning. Rid the mind of more for the sake of more, and instead be in a search for impact and vitality.
Why would anyone do 10,000 Pull Ups, or set a goal for 10,000 anything for that matter?!?!? I think it’s a really fair question and one I half-assed tried to answer the last two years.
You see in 2021 I initially set the goal. But derailed by some health swings, I honestly just lost momentum…and momentum is everything! So I gave up trying. My efforts netted me somewhere in the 4-5,000 range. Not bad, but nowhere near my target. But I was committed to get back on the horse.
2022 yielded better results, but no completion. I was north of the 5,000 number achieved the year before, but again just lost momentum and daily focus.
Easy to Do, Easy NOT to do
Below is a powerful image of the Slight Edge principle. Small efforts, magnified over large swaths of time = BIG RESULTS. But as with anything, it’s easy to do, easy NOT to do. In 2021, and in 2022, I fell the path of Easy NOT to do.
Just How Easy Is It?
Let us look at the 10,000 reps two ways. The first is proximity. I’ll label this one incredibly easy as I “work from home” most days and my pullup bar is in my basement storage. Easiest of Easy. The second is the math and here’s how I thought about it when I initially laid out the goal. In a 365 day year, I figured for a few days off as the calluses do build up. So I rounded to the easy math of pull ups for 300 days a year.
10,000 pull ups/300 days = 33.3 per day. Rounding up, could I do 34 per day?
A set of 10 was hard, but doable at the start of this journey. So completing 34 pull ups per day wasn’t a monumental struggle. Doing it for 300 days in a year, that’s different! The challenge isn’t completing the reps. The hardest part is sometimes remembering to do it because a day missed, meant the next day was owed 68, or 102, etc. Lose a week and lose 238. This really starts to add up and is such a microcosm for life.
Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do.Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
So Why Do It?
I’m not good at finishing things. I’m unreal at starting, ideas, concepting, strategizing and knowing exactly what it takes to get there. And then I get bored!!! I wanted to achieve the target to prove to myself I could push through the boredom and see it through to the end. I needed to FINISH.
Where are we now?
As of the time of publishing this it’s early December, and I’m past 13,000 reps headed to 14,000+ reps before the end of year hits. After I hit 10,000 back in September, I reset the challenge and started adding weight to the reps for added difficulty [Momentum building and harnessing at it’s finest]. By the way, lets do a quick check on the math noted from above. 14,000/300 days = 47 day. So only 13 more reps per day…but EVERY, DAMN, DAY!
What did I learn?
Big goals become achievable when broken down into manageable pieces and pursued with unwavering determination. Consistency is the key to success, as it leads to momentum. Like an object in motion, once you start, you keep going!
Just making the effort to show up is 90% of the battle. Even when I was traveling, I made it a point to find a few minutes in the hotel gym to get the job done for the day. Yes, I did this several times while traveling.
What will the pursuit be in 2024?
Great question and I’m working on that 😉
PS – If you’re the type that wants details, here is the pull up bar I used. My first bar cracked in mid-2023. So after some research, I purchased the link below on Amazon as I found the bar to be really sturdy (I’m 170-175 lbs.).
Not by choice either. At 3:15AM I woke to take down the second (yes there are two) dose of laxative that would further empty my body out before my 7:45AM colonoscopy. I get one every other year due to my Ulcerative Colitis. At this point in the early morning “prep” process, there is literally [nothing left] in my body.
I haven’t eaten in roughly 34 hours…and oddly enough, I’m very alert and rather focused. My mind feels sharp and I’m not even thinking of food. I just banged one last cup of coffee for a little jolt of energy this morning pre procedure. Funny what happens when we go without food for an extended period of time. The mind and body adapt. I’ve also done this before, so mentally I’m prepared for the entire process.
This will be my sixth colonoscopy and by now, it’s become quite a simple method to follow:
Stop eating for 24 hours+
Consume laxative doses and empty every last bit of substance from my body
Go to the Dr. Office, Get IV
Lay on left side & Take a 2-hour nap during procedure
I’m actually laughing to myself sitting up in bed as I think about this. It’s become somewhat “normal” for me every two years. Normal in the fact that, I know what to expect. In a really weird way, it also makes me appreciate what the body and mind are capable of adapting to. Think about this.
How hard is a marathon for a first timer? How does that compare to the mindset of someone who completed 20?
How hard is it to go without breakfast? How does this compare to someone who intermittent fasts 16-18 hours every day?
How hard is it to lose 10lbs.? How does this compare to a wrestler or fighter who does this on the regular?
How shocking is the “prep” for your 1st colonoscopy? How does this compare to a person going into his sixth?
With Perspective and Frequency, We Adapt
This whole process makes me think about the mind and body’s ability to adapt. But adaptation only comes once we choke down the 1st, big, fearful dose.
I look back at when I started riding my Peloton in the early winter months of 2021. The stats, the output, the rides…they’re laughable now (700 rides later). But I needed a jolt to get back into shape and lead a healthier lifestyle after the COVID lockdowns. Those first few rides, my pulse spiked along with my anxiety, because my body at the time couldn’t tell the difference between heartrate from panic and exercise. Now I’m programmed to jump on, ride like hell, sweat, and leave feeling accomplished and refreshed.
It’s Going to Suck
In her book, Bird by Bird, author Anne Lamott introduces the concept of “shitty first drafts”
All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.
In any new endeavor, you’re very likely going to suck, or at least stumble along like you’re wearing two left shoes, and that’s OK. I’m trying to teach this to my son, but I’ll admit I struggle with this too. No one wants to look stupid! As for my son, he wants to be “good” at something immediately, but his young brain hasn’t quite learned that it takes work and effort and practice to refine a skill. Who am I kidding, I’m 41 and I’m starting to grasp it now!!! I WANT INSTANT RESULTS.
Cheers to Firsts!!
How did I get from writing about a colonoscopy adventure to thinking about mindset? I don’t know exactly, but I’m energized about the idea of taking on new things, because the second go at the effort will be better, smoother, and less anxious. The biggest tragedy will be never starting in the first place.
Do the first rep. Take the first jog. Eat the first smoothie. Mediate in the most shitty of ways. Write the first sentence. Make the first offer. The second step will surely be less daunting than the first.
If you needed more motivation, I stumbled upon this video coming out of my colonoscopy anesthesia and I’m happy I did:
Oh and do me a favor if you’re in your 40s or certainly 50s. Get a colonoscopy. It won’t kill you, and you can reposition it in your mind as a mental exercise (that could also save your life).
I’m going to make the assumption I’m like most of you, and I spend a fair amount of time on my phone. I’m digitally connected across many channels, all doing their very best to steal away my attention, and at the same time, sell my attention to advertisers.
In the last week or two I’ve been tempted with the following ads. All are brands I like, and some I devour. All are reasonable purchases I could make, almost in an instant. Here are a few examples:
Travis Matthew – 40% off Sale. Sounds like a helluva deal on essentially everything in my wardrobe. Almost seems too good to pass up.
Nike – Back to School Savings. Again, I’m a sucker for fresh pair of sneakers, so browse, browse away. New Jordans, Air Maxes, or running shoes. Sure! Golf Jordans?? Double check!!!
BYLT Basics – I love their t-shirts as they really fit a slender fella like me well. What colors could I add to the collection? Everyone needs a good t-shirt or two, or two more
Vuori Clothing – Haven’t purchased a single item just yet…but I’ve browsed about 100+
Rhoback – give me all the golf polos please and thank you! While you’re at it, throw in a few of those buttery soft hoodies too.
Wolf and Shepard – Again, I’m a sucker for shoes and I could easily see a pair of these in my closet. Equal parts sport and style. Just up my alley.
Ledbury – Best dress shirts I’ve ever owned. Period. And I’ve probably got 10 of them. Get yourself one. “Slim Fit” if you’re built like me.
Target – I don’t even know what I was looking at other than maybe some new kitchenware (sexy I know), but who can’t drop a quick hundo at Target?!?!?
At some point amongst my scrolling, a wave of clarity came over me and I zapped out of the fog. It was almost like a cool breeze you feel in the fall when you realize the temps have turned from a warm Southern breeze, to a cool North wind. What the hell was I looking for?
Let me say this again. What was I looking for?
I feel very comfortable saying this. I could easily purchase any one of the brands noted above, or even spend $1,000 on a digital shopping cart full of “new gear” today. It won’t change my life. I’ve thought of buying a Rolex numerous times to reward myself for a sense of accomplishment and as a symbol for achievement. Will it make me happier? No. Does it tell time better than my Apple Watch? No.~Side note, pretty powerful brand story for me to make the achievement associationwith a watch. Quite fascinating really!!
Spending $100 or $1,000 or $10,000 is incredibly unlikely to make me happier. It won’t change my life. It won’t elevate my position with my family, it won’t make new friends or make the current ones I have like me more.
Disrupt the Comfort Channel
Fifteen years ago I lived by myself in downtown Chicago. On weekend strolls, I spent a great deal of time walking in and out of stores on the magnificent mile. Every notable brand wasn’t only available, it was at my fingertips. Young and ambitious to a fault, I would often go on ‘lifestyle seeking expeditions’ for the person I was striving to become. What did the wealthy wear? What did they drive? Where did they live? Where were they eating? It was all very tempting to the senses.
What I was able to learn on these walks, was 99% of the time, I was able to intercept the need for comfort or status and I bought NOTHING. I was able to go through the entire cycle of imagining, finding an item, maybe even trying it on in a dressing room or touring an apartment, and then asking myself the most notable question anyone can ask…
Do I really need this?
I’m not a monk. I want to drive a Ferrari, eat filet mignon and play Pebble Beach.
I’m not holier than thou and I’m a “consumer” in every since of the word, living in a capitalist country with sizable marketing budgets available to grasp my attention. What a beauty to be free right?!?! That said, I can intercept the signal and still appreciate living in a nice house and driving a nice car. Take them away tomorrow, I’m still who I am.
Who owns who?
Do we own the things around us, or do our things or the pursuit of things own us? I will buy more Jordan sneakers. Someday I may purchase that Rolex. But I won’t associate a false level of happiness to such a meaningless thing no one will care five, or especially 100 years from now.
“How good it is when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this is the dead body of a bird or pig; and again, that the Falerian wine is the mere juice of grapes, and your purple edged robe simply the hair of a sheep soaked in shell-fish blood! This should be your practice throughout all your life: when things have such a plausible appearance, show them naked, see their shoddiness, strip away their own boastful account of themselves. Vanity is the greatest seducer of reason: when you are most convinced that your work is important, that is when you are most under its spell.”
Sometimes life nudges you ever so slightly. Other times, it hits you in the forehead with a two-by-four. My visit to Fenway Park on August 9, 2023 was more of the two-by-four variety.
Let me quickly set the stage. I was flying into Boston on 8/9 and a couple attempts at dinner reservations with clients fell through. Busy schedules won the day and I was left to navigate Beantown on my own for the evening.
The gentleman next to me on my flight happened to be wearing a Red Sox hat (not entirely unique on flights to Boston), but I did notice it, and it did cause me to pause and think more openly about the nights’ adventures.
I spent the next 90 seconds scouring Google for the Red Sox schedule. As luck would have it, they had a home game on the evening of 8/9 vs. the Kansas City Royals. It was about 5:30 at Logan airport and the game was set for a 7:10 first pitch. I needed to hustle.
To further constrain my schedule, the damn Sumner tunnel is under construction and closed, so my delivery from the airport to my hotel was going to be anything but expeditious. I was going to be cutting it very close, but I was going for it.
Next to StubHub. Ticket purchased (see below/and not insignificant)
Fenway Park is charming and entirely unique. The ticket I purchased happened to be in the “Royals Family Box” next to the son of KC Royals Infield Coach: Jose Alquacil. The son flew in from Washington D.C. to celebrate his Dad’s birthday that evening and watch him “work” with the Royals. Connections started to be made [Father/Son experiences]. The game provided very unique drama, as it was the game history was made when a ball off the bat of a Royals batter broke a scoreboard light on the Green Monster. I’ve watched a boatload of baseball, and I’ve never seen that!!!
Flash Back 30 Years
Fresh Fenway Sausage with Peppers and Onions
My first visit to Fenway was with my Dad about 30 years ago (give or take). I remember walking foul pole to foul pole to get all the vantage points of the historic stadium. I remember vividly the smell of freshly grilled sausages and peppers outside the stadium (Yes they still do this) and my Dad will quickly bring this up if asked about our Fenway experience.
Thinking about my experience the following morning, I felt a little like Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) in Field of Dreams when he felt implored to “kidnap” Terrance Mann and get him to attend a baseball game at Fenway. It’s almost eerie. Mind you…I did no kidnapping this evening.
Go the Distance
I grabbed a beer, a hot dog, and settled into the game on a marvelous New England summer evening. I’ll fast-forward to the end of the game where this all became somewhat euphoric for me. My wife and kids knew I’d be at the game, but as is customary for us when I’m gone, they call to FaceTime before bed. I think it helps put all of our minds at ease that we get to chat before the day closes and heavy eyes rest.
The call happened to come in during the final three outs of the game…so I answered it, seeing my two kids faces glued to the screen in awe of where Dad was. And it was LOUD!
But I figured what the hell, I’m going to let them see what I’m seeing. So Landon and I watched the last two outs together via FaceTime. Having made our first deep dive into baseball this summer, and spending endless hours playing catch, it only seemed right that we share this moment. I took a quick screenshot as it says so much about what I was soon to learn.
I was really watching two things as the Red Sox reliever Kenley Jansen closed out the Royals on that insignificant Wednesday night. One is the game, as a solo home run was given up in the top of the ninth, closing the score to a snug 4-3 Red Sox lead with only one out.
The second, more profound watch, was my son’s reaction to it all. He was in awe! The stadium, the view, the crowd, the energy, Dad’s new Red Sox hat. It’s why I so dearly love sports. It simply can’t be recreated. It was then, when I started to see my future unfold before me.
A New Path
I really love what I do. I love working with energetic, savvy clients and strategizing on campaigns. I love the creation of something “new” for a brand and seeing it unfold. I also love all the myriad of experiences and relationships its brought a kid from small town Iowa in his life. Travel opened up my mind to possibility, wonderful restaurants, entirely new cities and different ways of life.
Fenway Connected My Past and Future
I’ve been thinking about “retirement” since I was probably 22 and started working. Some could argue this is good and others could argue the opposite. Either way, a plan took shape early, and I’ve consistently reshaped it as the years provided new thinking and resources toward this goal. Never once have I considered waiting until 60 or years beyond to “call it quits.” It was always going to be “early” vs. normal standards.
The Goal isn’t Retirement, it’s Freedom
Now in my 40’s, I have a very different view. I don’t want to retire per se. After all, what am I going to do, sit around and golf every day?? Doesn’t sound entirely horrible…
I want freedom and I want to experience it with those I love. I want to visit clients in Boston, and have my son experience it with me. I want him to enjoy a fresh lobster roll in New England, and freshly caught seafood in Seattle. We’ll cheers Chicago dogs outside Wrigley and a beer after our round at Torrey Pines. We’ll chomp down cheese curds in Lambo Field and sip a great cabernet in Northern California. Mind you, I’ve done all these things and it only adds to my hunger to consume more experiences like this with my kids.
I very much want to blur the lines of the professional and personal. My recent Fenway experience brought that vision front and center. Yes, they will likely miss school…which was unheard of in my day. But the experiences they’ll encounter can’t be duplicated in the class room.
Thanks Fenway (and the $13 beers) for igniting my memories and being a driver to a bigger purpose and vision for the future.
I recently returned from a getaway with the Mrs. to Marco Island, FL. We stayed at the JW Marriott, and if you haven’t been…I highly recommend it. Especially the “adults only” side of the resort [Paradise by Sirene]. We relaxed and read by the water. Jet skied with sea turtles. Walked the beautiful beaches, saw a few dolphins, ate delicious meals and generally took in our surroundings with tremendous gratitude.
Needless to say, with no kids present, there is always ample time to think on a retreat of this nature. I always keep my journal near by and this time was no different. Instead of plotting out moves for the next five years (as I’m prone to do), this time I thought to challenge myself with questions to help open up my mind to what possibilities the future could hold. The list below reflects questions about: health, family, fulfillment, wealth building, happiness and much more. I wrote many, but here are ten of my favorites I’m thinking about post-vacation.
TEN QUESTIONS
What activity drives you to feel most happy/fulfilled?
What does my family need from me to be their best selves?
Where are the wealthy finding opportunity in this high interest rate environment?
What foods leave me feeling energized and full of vitality?
What new experiences am I hungry to explore?
What would I need to do, to make the next 5 months a killer end to 2023?
Where can I show up more for friends/peers?
What past drama/trauma am I hanging on to, that I need to let go of?
What new “micro-habit” will unlock many other doors to progress?
What stands between where I am now, and where I want to go?
I’ll spend the next few weeks really thinking through and articulating well thought out answers to each of these asks. I’m hopeful the 10 questions above will cause you to pause and do some thinking on your life and trajectory.
I’m thinking about the latter of the words this Independence Day holiday. Happiness. Isn’t it odd, and sort of fitting these are the words from the well-penned script I’m thinking about from the declaration of Independence crafted in 1776?
Declaring Independence
How does one [declare independence] and how does it relate to happiness?
Let me set the scene. I’m sitting in my driveway in a small town in Iowa. Our neighborhood raises funds for those who live around the golf course for a private fireworks show (Shout out to Jordan Alborn for organizing!). As the benefactor of location, our driveway faces directly into the line of sight where the fireworks are shot off, and only a couple hundred yards away.
I was sitting in my chair, and 50 or so guests had joined. New friends and old alike. The driveway and street were jam packed with golf carts. Adults joined with a chilled cocktail, kids with glow sticks, a plentiful supply of bomb pops were displayed and patriotic music played as a backdrop to the festivities.
As the fireworks exploded and my daughter’s chin dripped red and blue of melted sugar, I just smiled…ear to ear. This is ‘it’ for me. This is happiness.
How did we get here?
About 8-10 years go in my journal I sketched out the plans for our family (The family that didn’t even fully exist yet). Where would we live? What would the house include? What would surround us? Let me tell you what I wrote!
We’d build a house on a golf course, golf cart in the garage, basketball hoop in the driveway
We’d have a large island in the kitchen for gathering
We’d have a rain shower head in the master bath (Yes I know it’s specific, but I wrote it)
There are many other details, but my point is two-fold. Define your happiness and do so with laser focused intention. But only do it for YOU! What we think about and write down, we manifest. The feelings I had the other night, felt like warm hug. A comforting nod that, “this is EXACTLY what you asked for,” now please, ENJOY!
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
I beg of my team and other peers I interact/coach with on a regular basis, “TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT” < – – – – and don’t lie!!! Tell me exactly what you want and do so with clear definition and vitality. I don’t personally care what it is, I only care that you know, and pursue it with all your might. It’s not up to me that it’s a farm with 20 acres, a lake front cabin or a Chicago high-rise condo with all the amenities. by the way, not everything is about housing. Think vacations, how you spend your time, and who you spend it with.
What do I do, if I don’t know?
Terrific question. Here are a few questions I’d challenge you with to help you aid in definition.
What gives you endless energy?
What activities really excite you? (think like Derek Sivers – if it isn’t a HELL YES…it’s a no)
Who do you enjoy being around? (energy builders vs. Energy takers)
Where do you feel like your best self?
What does it look like? Close your eyes and see it. Define it.
I’ve listened to Norman Vincent Peale’s audiobook, “The Power of Positive Thinking” hundreds of times. He speaks vividly on the word VITALITY. Pursuing your “happiness” will provide the vitality needed to continue on with your pursuit when roadblocks arise.
As we celebrate our nation’s independence, please also give thought to your own personal independence and pursuit of happiness!
The “GRIND“: opposing parts desire and dissatisfaction.
The GRIND is glorified by athletes and entrepreneurs as they put in rep after rep in the lab. This grind is rewarded with sweat, performance breakthroughs and improvement through struggle. Instagram post = “Out here Grindin!” Courtesy of DJ Khalid
To the opposition, the GRIND is met with vitriol. Their Monday through Friday work is a GRIND. Showing up for the man. This grind is rewarded by ending whatever misery is being participated in…likely Friday at 5pm.
FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PROCESS
Nick Saban’s love for the process is well documented. Alabama’s entire program and dynasty revolves around “the process” and doing the next play, the next rep, with excellence. One at a time. Every time. In the present moment, with excellence. Forget yesterday. Don’t worry about tomorrow. It’s about performing NOW.
Watching a video from Bedros Keuilian on YouTube, he spoke to the power of a rep or repetition as it relates to confidence. He said the following and it really sunk in.
REPS REMOVE DOUBT
I’ve written extensively about the role of momentum and confidence in life. You either have momentum and life is flowing to you, or you’re working on rebuilding momentum and fighting headwinds. When things are rolling, confidence is high. When challenge is omnipresent, doubt is high, and confidence is low. But how does one build confidence back? How do you get your mojo back?
Build confidence, by Doing the Reps. Bedros said, “repetition removes doubt!”
Notice he didn’t say, repetition guarantees confidence. He went the other way. It removes doubt. When doubt is gone, I believe we’re able to be our [best self] and flow infinitely into whatever task we’re pursuing.
Where do I see this in real life? Let me tell you:
Coaching 8-year old Travel Baseball: The progress some of these kids have made since February is gigantic and it isn’t luck. It’s repetition. Many began the year with some level of FEAR. By the way, the wiring in an 8-year old, is the same wiring in all of us. Think about that for a moment.
10,000 Pull Up Goal: I set a goal at the beginning of 2023 to knock out 10,000 pull ups. As of this post I’m at about 6,400. Flowing easily toward and well past my target. But there is no easy path to 10,000. It’s every day, one rep at a time.
Sales Teams: I’ve lead and coached many sales people and teams in my 20 professional years. The best/most successful, do the reps with rabid consistency. Luck isn’t bestowed upon the consistent high achievers. They stay in the work and eliminate doubt with consistent preparation and action.
Peloton Practice: When our Peloton [handle: zkeeney] arrived in the fall of 2021, I wasn’t sure I’d be into the work. I’ve never been into cycling and I’m typically bored quickly if I’m not on the move. But I committed to doing the first 20 rides. Today I’m over 500+ rides and there are many days I need the work, like I need oxygen. I’m in love with the reps. I’m in love with the sweat and competition.
Whenever I find myself stuck, unable to start a big project or long journey, I focus on taking the first step, in the right direction. Action is key, but so too, is focused direction. Then show up again. And again. The rest will take care of itself when momentum sets in and kinetic energy is flowing.
I’ve always been particularly aware of how I look. I would even be so aware to call it vain at times. Today is no different. The guy on the left is prideful of the work and results. The guy on the right knows the inside looks presents different challenges from the outside.
It’s the end of the month, which means I’m wrapping up my monthly scorecard. The sole reason for my Monthly Scorecard is to focus on those efforts which provide vitality and energy. The side effective is a positive one, and it is being in shape. But I believe it also helps keep my autoimmune disease at bay, most of the time…
Another Spring Time. Another Flare.
I believe this is the 3rd year in a row I experienced an Ulcerative Colitis flare up. I know for certain I had one last year and I’m pretty sure I had one in 2021 as the stress from Covid was having a major impact on everyone’s lives. Myself included.
Starting 2023, I was going to really attack the Scorecard work and ensure I was showing up for those around me as my best self. I’ve been incredibly diligent with my exercise and diet. Not perfect, but very few slip ups or cheats along the way, so the most recent internal discomfort came as a real shock to me. I was controlling the things I could control to a large degree. Here I am talking again about the word control. It was a prominent theme in my post about receiving therapy through Better Help. This is where I’ve spent time reflecting this last week as I had to miss out on a business trip.
The Illusion of Control
The whole reason for the monthly tracking was to distill down the essential efforts which selfishly, make me feel great as a person. It shouldn’t come as a shock, but with consistency my energy is higher, my sleep is better, my body “looks” better and I’m in control of my symptoms…but am I????
I realized the scorecard work is a daily mechanism and a lever of consistency I can count on. What it isn’t however, is a forcefield of control. I’ve yet to truly find out how to stay in remission 24/7. I am learning through trial and error the elements of my lifestyle I have to avoid or limit.
I have a disease. The disease doesn’t have me.
I got to a point the last week or so, which some may call submission. Brilliant doctors across the globe are studying this disease and how it’s triggered. They’re studying how to treat it and keep their patients in remission. Right now, there isn’t a true “cure” so there is a good chance it could be with me for some time. I’m keenly aware of this and I know I’ve also navigated similar disruptions in the past. ~This too shall pass.
Although the physical aspect of the disease isn’t pretty, and I don’t wish it on anyone, I think the mental piece is actually harder because it is omnipresent. These are the daily thoughts of someone with Crohn’s Disease or UC:
What am I going to eat, and how will it make me feel?
(if) for some reason I shouldn’t feel good, is there a restroom nearby?
if not nearby, where is the closest one?
How long are we going to be in the car?
Am I actually feeling really good today… cup coffee, or a beer sounds lovely (but also problematic)
How long will I have to be on this medication?
How do I tell those close to me I need to back out of _____________ (meeting, event, trip, etc.) without being a huge flake?
Searching for the answers to these daily “lifestyle” questions can be anxious and exhausting and why I spend so much time trying to sharpen my mental axe. I know the disease is going to punch back, and when it does, I need to be ready. I need to be ready to show up for my family, my friends, my coworkers and yes…myself!
Perspective is Always Necessary
I have a friend battling cancer. First it was lung cancer (and he never smoked), he beat that…TWICE! Now he’s fighting the same fight against brain cancer with complete faith and his wife by his side. Wow!! To be that strong. Remarkable doesn’t even begin to describe it. But you can read about it here: Eat Pray Breathe
I leave this post thinking about reading more research and trying to gain a better understand of what “springtime” in the midwest has to do with my body annually battling inflammation. I wonder if others experience similar seasonality with symptoms? Either way, tomorrow is May 1st, and it will be back to work on restoring vitality and continuing momentum!
PS – my wife is amazing and always picks up the slack.
The outpouring of responses from my latest post was intense in the best of ways. I had a very strong suspicion there were many others out there like me, experiencing the same [bottled up] feelings I had two years ago. What I didn’t know, is I’d hear from so many of you in droves. You are brave for reaching out and trusting in me to have the conversation!
THANK YOU!
In case you missed it, this is the post which sparked overwhelming response: My Journey with betterhelp.
I received this message from a friend I haven’t heard from in some time. I was instantly moved and felt connected. Here is a selection,
“Either way, thanks for posting that and in a weird way its a relief to know that I am not the only one going through it, but I also don’t like seeing people go through it either.”
I received DOZENS of messages like these
Lets be honest. I don’t have the reach of internet sensations: Tim Ferriss, or Rich Roll, or Brene Brown. I figured I’d receive a text and email or two from the post (because I almost always do), but the responses came pouring in and they came in almost immediately. In my nearly 10 years of blogging and sharing my perspective, I’ve NEVER gotten the feedback like I did here. Nor have I felt the instant gratitude to start conversations with people I connected with throughout my life.
I decided to anonymize those who sent feedback to show you what I already believed to be true. Many men are walking a similar journey and had similar stigma around getting help. Some have a history of struggle. Some are in it right now. But all have found a way to seek guidance or hear another voice…besides the voice in their head. If you reached out to me, here is a snippet of what your peers had to say! They appreciate you without even knowing it!
A Friend, an athlete, a great Dad
I read your post regarding therapy. I commend you for doing that, it’s not an easy thing to do much less post about it on your social media. I have been on again/ off again with therapy/ meds for anxiety and depression. A lot of the causes resonated with me because those are some of the same things that reared their ugly head when I was going through it/ still going through it. Either way, thanks for posting that and in a weird way its a relief to know that I am not the only one going through it, but I also don’t like seeing people go through it either. I am glad you got out of therapy what you did and are on the other side of it. I am still working through it, but therapy has helped.
A friend, a peer, a great Dad
Good post brother! I’ve met with Aaron Kampman quarterly for the last several years. https://www.thealignprocess.com/aaron-kampman From a mental health standpoint, it is freeing. For me, weight lifts off my shoulders after each session.
A Business Peer
Loved your post Zac. Thank you for your honesty and the courage to put yourself out there for others who may be feeling similarly or the same. I think many of us were/are in a similar boat, but as men, we typically are the last ones to seek out self-care, especially when we have others to care for who come first (wife/partner, child, parents, etc.) I know that’s the challenge I struggle with daily.
A friend, and a rebuilding story
Great post tonight! It hit home for me. It took going through a divorce, therapy, and a lot of self-reflection to get me back to my true self. The toughen up and push through it mentally doesn’t work, and it really just fuels anxiety to the point of changing who you really are. Being vulnerable is where it is at! Thanks for sharing!
A successful business associate, peer and Dad
I’m reaching out because I wanted to let you know that I saw your post about your journey with betterhelp, and I wanted to say THANK YOU for posting that! I’ve been struggling with certain things as well, predominantly professionally, and that post caught me at the exact right time!
A friend, business associate, and great Dad
Love the blog. Thanks for sharing. One of my favorite quotes…Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought. ~James Allen, As a Man Thinketh
As I was sweating through a Peloton ride this morning, my session ended with Emma Lovewell saying this,
When we show up for ourselves, we have the ability to show up as our best-self for others around us
Let me be very upfront. I never thought I’d be here. It wasn’t part of my being, upbringing or belief system. Here means, writing these words and more importantly…sharing what is to follow. But if I don’t share, who will know? And sometimes all it takes is knowing someone else’s path to change yours!
It’s also important to know WHO I’m writing this for. Albeit, I hope this message can help 10s or 100s of young men, or fathers not feel alone in their feelings, there is one in particular I’m on the lookout for. My 8-year old son…who is yet to become a man. We are SO MUCH alike, I understand he may walk a similar path in his 20s, 30s or 40s and I want him to know where Dad was at a shared time of life. Love you Landon!
How did we get here?
This is a post about the dichotomy of security and vulnerability. Let me first say I’m incredibly hopeful and grateful in writing this post. I’m hopeful this message will reach another human (likely a male) who is looking for support or structure in uncertainty. I’m secure enough as a person to know I can share these thoughts without fear, and vulnerable enough to get to the truth in the process.
I’d like to be abundantly clear that I thought mental health and a person seeking ‘help’ were W-E-A-K when I was in my younger years. I’d experienced a few people around me who struggled with depression or anxiety, but I just didn’t get it. I couldn’t rationalize or empathize and like any young and arrogant 20-something I thought “toughen up” and “move through it” were the answers. I’m sorry I thought that. I’m sorry I was so naive.
I guess the old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” is at play here.
The Additive Components
As I get older, I’m becoming more of a thinker and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I don’t think the melancholy “feels” I had in 2021 were merely a result of COVID. That said, COVID may have been the great accelerator in the process! I believe the following stressful components were all at play over time:
Multiple Rounds of IVF to have our two kids (these are definitely stressful times and they added up)
Battling Ulcerative Colitis Flares – This is definitely a source of trauma for me since I was 27. I’ve gone through enough to know what to expect…and it isn’t pretty.
Never Ending Ambition and Achievement – I’m wired this way! Hard to shut it off.
Lockdowns and Kids at Home – Juggling a business that immediately took a turn into a ravine while having kids at home was flat out hard. Trying to find balance amongst it all was very challenging and I suck at balance.
COVID layoffs – One is hard, two is enough. I think I participated in three in total including 2020 and dealing with the wake of COVID. This left me feeling entirely hallow. Lives were being upended and as a leader, I felt responsible.
Resentment – I held this in a large capacity due to an expectation of a business deal/payoff that was likely floundering and consequent relationships left in that wake. Both put me in a sour and grumpy state quite regularly. The more I thought, the more betrayed I felt.
Relationship With my Wife – We weren’t in an awful state, but we weren’t good from the notable life changes we were both juggling above. Most days felt more like survival in a weird sense and everyone was on edge. She was trying to manage the kids while I looked after the business that was running poorly.
Daily Dose of Bad News – Every day upon waking from a Princess and the Pea “less than restful” night of sleep it was like I was waiting for impending doom. How much money had we lost? What clients disappeared? Who resigned? Who is sick? What can I do about any of this anyway?????
Add all these components up and you’ve got a toxic fear-based cocktail being consumed multiple times daily.
Falling into the Gray
A few weeks ago I stumbled on to the Unbreakable Podcast with host Jay Glazer after hearing it promoted. I was drawn to his very first guest and a man I have a great deal of respect for, Sean McVay. Together, they discuss what Jay labels as “the gray” and unpack what it means to both of them to be more vulnerable in their mental health journeys. I really encourage the listen as I thought it helped add a ton of context to what I was feeling and experiencing. It’s different for every person, but similar all the same. Jay also gave me the motivation to be “man enough” publish this post.
It All Took a Toll
The most meaningful steps I believe I took in my 30s were the steps toward more self-awareness (the good and the bad). Two years ago, I was self aware enough and at a point where I knew I just needed some help. Every day I seemed to feel worse and worse both physically and mentally. My physical body was taking a toll and I couldn’t continue on without a radical shift in behavior. I needed someone else with whom I could speak with who was unbiased and could rationalize a path forward.
Let me also be very clear that I never once thought about hurting myself or others around me. I’ve never been there and I can’t say I know anything about those feelings, but I’m undoubtably respectful of those who are in this place! I empathize with you. Seek help. Talk. Michael Phelps said it here, “It’s ok, to not be OK!”
I Raised My Hand – I Need Some Help
I’m not sure I can identify the mechanism of “how” I found betterhelp, but I’m incredibly happy I did. It may honestly have been the social-distancing necessity of the pandemic and the virtual nature of all things meant this guy didn’t have to sit down across from someone I didn’t know and pour out my feelings(in person). I don’t know if my pride or ego was ready for that. Moving forward, it felt like the right answer and I was assigned a therapist based on a questionnaire they provided. We were off. My first session was scheduled…and I was nervous as hell.
~PAUSE~ Holy Shit…am I really doing this???
Oh my god. Was I ready for this? What did I just sign up for? What questions would she ask? Would I be vulnerable enough to tell the truth? (yes, us men struggle with this if it means violating our “manhood”) What if I needed more help? What if I cried? What if…
What if…This Was Exactly What I Needed?
I took notes on the process and found the back-and-forth journaling exercises from betterhelp to be very helpful. My journey started with some EMDR therapy to slow me down (My words, not the therapist’s). I needed to unwind all that had become fiercely tangled up. Next, we truly unpacked each of the elements leading up to why I was there in the first place. One by One. Every experience. Every element of PTSD I was laboring over. I was caught in a feedback loop and the merry-go-round was spinning too fast to get off or even let go.
After only a few sessions I feel like I changed my tone from “fix me, I’m broken,” to a much more curious person ready to explore who’d I’d become as a result of all the elements noted above. I’d been able to gain control of what I was experiencing and talk through it. I was still stressed, but I felt like the possibility of feeling better (not stressed 24/7) existed again. I once heard meditation described as, being able to look at the washing machine, from the outside, while it is running. I feel this way about my experience with therapy.
After a few months, some serious self care and inner work, I was starting to feel like myself again. I was getting my swagger back. I think part of this was timing of how the world was coming out of the pandemic, but I also believe I’d become much more at peace with what I could and couldn’t control. After all, that’s what all of this is about isn’t it? Control and expectations!
Looking Forward
I’m not perfect and don’t pretend to be. I have many thoughts, but don’t own all the answers. This is yet another example of life happening to me and being vulnerable enough to know I needed guidance. I hope this message can find someone in need of help and know a stubborn, sometimes overly-confident and prideful person like myself walked a similar path to find resources.
My therapist left me with these thoughts. “Life will most certainly get hard again at some point. Lean on these experiences to get through it smoother than you did last time and know you have tools at your disposal to slow it all down. It’s very likely you will encounter another Colitis flare in life…and you can work to get through it, just as you have the rest of them.”
I don’t know if ALL THERAPY works. What I know, is that I’m incredibly grateful to the betterhelp team and my therapist who helped me get through a tough patch in my life. You removed any stigma I had around the thought of seeking help and I hope others can follow a similar path if needed.
To Landon, should you be reading this years from now, know that it’s ok to talk to Dad openly about it and what you may be experiencing. I’ll listen!
It’s my first month recapping my newly refreshed personal scorecard and the most important reflection of any month is two-fold for me.
How do I feel? (Physically, Mentally, Spiritually)
Where is my momentum?
I made a few noticeable scorecard changes headed into 2023, all of which draw me closer to creating positive momentum in my life, relationships and general wellbeing. If you’d like, you can catch up on the revision news here [Evolution of the Scorecard].
How do I feel?
As we recap January I feel physically great. To be very candid, I’m actually really tired of the snow and cold weather…but I control neither of those (other than booking the nearest flight to tropical waters). As for what I can control, I worked out 24 times in January. I set (4) PRs on Peloton rides, which I believe is more than any other month since I started riding and even stacked a couple Two-a-Day workouts. I cranked out 1,660 pull ups in my quest to conquer 10,000 annually in 2023. I’ve also been following a more disciplined food regime (I wouldn’t call it a diet). The Wahls Protocol. My ulcerative colitis symptoms are in remission or non-existent and I’m generally sleeping well. Coincidence…or momentum harnessed as a result of the work?
Mentally I also feel like I’m in a great spot. I can’t say I’ve had any real headwinds to battle, other than about this time every year, I get sick of being cold and dark. Winter UGH. I would like to work a little harder on my daily discipline with my mediation work, because when we least expect it…that’s when life sends challenges. That’s why we prepare every day. Work to do here. Easy to do. Easy NOT to do.
Spiritually, I feel pretty good as well. I actually took the time to make note of a few bible verses during recent Orchard Hill sermons and did something I haven’t habitually done, which is return back and read them at a later date and reflect upon what I needed to ingest. The only gap in my “pretty good” response is my wife and I are looking for a more permanent church to call home and to integrate the kids. As with many things, I think some focused action here will win out.
Where is Momentum?
There are times when I feel like I mention or reference momentum too often. There are other times when I feel like it should be talked about much MUCH more. The importance of generating momentum is a critical life skill because we all get knocked off track sooner or later. It’s knowing how to get back on track (quickly) that’s a real life hack! Everyone is looking for “hacks”, so why not figure out what gives you energy and results in jumping out of the blocks quick…like a spry rabbit.
I’m fulfilled with the tailwinds January generated. Beyond the exercise, I’m happy with executing a 24+ hr fast and spending focused “date” time with Mrs. Keeney. We had a couple lunches together and a night out with friends which was so much fun and needed!. Fasting and Date Night were each new additions to my monthly focus, and I’m happy to say each was COMPLETED in January.
Do the work. Get the reward.
It comes as no shock to me I’m feeling energized wrapping up what usually feels like the l-o-n-g-e-s-t month of the year. I identified those essential activities which give me energy and vitally. I completed the necessary efforts with discipline and momentum is my reward. Simple. But not easy.
I leave you with this challenge.
Where are you with generating momentum in your life?
What’s keeping you from defining the essential efforts in your life?
I’ve heard from others who were looking to create similar “Scorecards” – would you be willing to share?
I’d been mulling changes to my scorecard for a few weeks now, and some recent reading is telling me NOW is the time to evolve my monthly tracking ritual.
Welcome to the 2023 Version of the Keen Mind Scorecard
First off, lets note the elements that didn’t change:
Meditation – This discipline remains a staple in my monthly effort. 20X minimum.
Exercise – There is slight change in this area of focus with a +2 increase in monthly minimum effort.
Church – No change to this effort from previous scorecard.
(2) Books – No change. I’ll continue to strive to consume one written and one audiobook per month.
Now for the NEW STUFF:
24-Hr. Fast: I got to this one in a roundabout and rather unconventional way. I’ve had my fair share of colonoscopies for a 40-year old. That said, I have learned something from this process. Each colonoscopy requires a 24+ hour fasting period as “prep” for the event. Prep is a funny word, as they really should call it [aggressively] draining every ounce of food in your digestive track. Either way, I’ll consume only coffee, tea, or water in this process and a really interesting thing happens. It feels odd from about the 12-16 hour mark because I’m typically hungry, but then it feels like my body really settles into the challenge. From here, I do feel a slight boost of adrenaline and mental sharpness. This is also when the body starts to detoxify itself and heal…two things my Autoimmune condition can really appreciate. For all these reasons, I’m going to attempt to conquer one 24 hour fast per month. Easy to do, easy NOT to do.
Dating My Wife: I was primed to add this to my monthly scorecard by reading The Warrior Book. Balance is one of Garrett’s areas of focus with his family and his “date night” is something they DO NOT gravitate away from. Selfishly speaking this is something my wife and I can work on. We’ve got two young kids (4 and 8) and we’re busy. But we’re not sooo busy that we can’t make time for just the two of us to reconnect. Honestly, I was going to only have 1x per week on here, but that felt lazy and pretty weak candidly. So two it is. Grab a babysitter and get out there!
Pass on Resolutions – Find Momentum
As I’ve challenge many before, don’t go the path of New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, I challenge all readers to find the things that truly make you “feel good” and hone in on the frequency needed to gamify your own lifestyle. When you see it on paper in front of you, accountability ensues.
As former Navy Seal Jocko Willink says in his NY Time Bestseller: Discipline Equals Freedom. My scorecard is my connection to freedom.
~Happy New Year All!
PS – Here’s a short list of the elements that didn’t make the list:
Ice Bath – I was thinking of a 6-8X a month Ice bath but I’m going to leave that one alone for now and see how the current revisions play out.
Charitable Contribution – I was considering sticking to a monthly dedication of a charitable donation, but we do a pretty good job of this and didn’t feel the need to stay after it on a monthly regimen.
Kids Date Night [with each child] – Kids need total focus too and I was REALLY close to putting this one on there. I’m going to keep it in mind as my wife and I work on our accountability.
“I’m starting with the Man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways”
I am the Man in the Mirror. The reflection of the results I see, are a direct output of my intentions from 2022. David Goggins in his book, Can’t Hurt Me, spoke to himself through the reflection of his Accountability Mirror. The mirror doesn’t tell lies or have feelings or stories. The mirror and the reflection it produces only reflects the truth.
As I move forward into a new year, I will NOT be stating a New Year’s Resolution.
Instead, I’ll be writing down and reinforcing my intentions for the days and weeks ahead. Sum all these efforts together and I’ll have a year’s worth of progress.
Tony Robbins has a wonderful saying and I think it jumps off the page in relationship to this post.
We don’t get our shoulds…but we get our MUSTS!
Although this is obvious and I love it, I feel like intentions can sometimes be more subtle. Here are a few examples:
I “Never” miss an episode of ______________________ (that’s focus intention)
Wednesdays are my boys night where we meet up and have a cocktail (that’s time intention)
I’ve got to have the newest _________________ (that’s spend intention)
I always have a beer watching the game (that’s body/diet intention)
The 2nd Thursday of every month is date-night for my wife and I (that’s balance/relationship intention)
Wednesday mornings I time block to study and look deeper into my business (that’s time intention)
July is the month we always take a week-long family vacation (that’s balance intention)
I try to never miss a day without a green smoothie (that’s diet intention)
None are good. None are bad. They are simply focused choices.
We all have the same amount of time.
That’s the mindf*ck of it all. If you want to get super deep in the idea of time management listen to this Ed Mylett podcast [Respect and Protect Your Time] with guest Rob Dyrdek. Rob has gotten maniacal with the focused distribution of his most valuable resource: Time.
As I head into 2023, I’ll be refining my intentions for the the Warrior’s Way and making daily progress on: Body, Being, Balance, and Business.
If I start a post with MJ, I’ll end with MJ.
If you want to make the world a better place, better look at yourself and make a change
I know what I want and I’ll get after it with intention. Results are certain to follow.
Last week I was in Chicago for a host of meetings with clients, a Holiday Extravaganza and a Basis Holiday party. By the way, I get the “Holiday” thing, I’m just not used to it. I want to say Christmas Party and it isn’t because I want to offend anyone.
Anyway as I stray from the path of this post, my travels encompassed a few days of eating out, coffee, lunches, cocktails, and a couple late nights (add karaoke). All this sent me traveling back home feeling puffy (inflamed) and needing a good night of sleep. For me, this is a BIG DEAL!
Coincidentally, I stumbled upon this YouTube Video from Jocko Willink with guest Tim Ferriss. Please watch.
“Never Stray from The Way” – from Miyamoto Musashi.
It is the path of discipline and discomfort, but it is the RIGHT path.
Get on the Path. Stay on the Path
You might be asking, what was really different from last week’s travels to this week? I’ll tell you.
DIET – I follow a pretty regimented diet. I won’t say entirely strict, but my time at home almost always includes at least one smoothie a day (Purple Smoothie for breakfast), and most days two smoothies. It’s a simple and efficient way for me to consume a ton of fruits and vegetables while maintaining a good diet.
EXERCISE – My current rhythm calls for 5-6 days of working out a week. In Chicago I was as effective as the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl. (0-3). Zero Peloton rides. Zero push ups/pull ups. Zero runs.
MEDITATE – I try and hit at least 1x per day at home. Some days I hit two. When I was traveling I also couldn’t get off zero.
SLEEP – It shouldn’t be a shock, but when the three key elements above are met, I sleep well. Not meeting usually I don’t get a restful night of sleep. Anecdotally, mix in a little alcohol and a late night Karaoke session and quality sleep isn’t likely to follow that recipe either.
The elements noted above are the north star guiding my compass to keep me progressing on the The Path. I find this similar to the work I’m doing while reading “The Warrior Book” by Garrett J. White and his Wake Up Warrior Movement. Garrett’s path for all warriors is to “have it all” by mastering: Body, Being, Balance and Business through a focused daily practice.
I know my Path. Following it is entirely about discipline.
Following The Path does three powerful things for me.
It’s a Reset when I’ve strayed from the things that give me the most vitality (usually to a state of low energy)
It generates tremendous momentum. Stacking days on the path leads to a vitality and vigor
This personal view also doesn’t account for those things that drive success in my business life or my role as a husband/father. But it does help me show up as the best version of myself.
My ask to any and all readers is to find your path. Be intentional with your efforts and time so you can deliver your best self to all other elements of your life.
This is just like the instructions a flight attendant gives you if/when oxygen masks are deployed during flight. PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST!! If you can’t give yourself oxygen F-I-R-S-T, your ability to help others is irrelevant. The Path is our oxygen to help ourselves and others!
I’m fortunate to be “off” the next 11 days, and I look forward to owning my Path and catapulting myself into 2023.
My 30’s were a decade of transformation…beyond the fact that the guy on the left looks much more rested and spry!
One may argue recency bias, but looking back at all the decades of my life [0-9], [10-19], [20-29], and [30-39] I believe I took the largest leap forward in many areas of my life in my 30s.
Let us quickly recap the decades:
0-9: Largely Developmental and learning [how and where] to go to the bathroom
10-19: Puberty and all the weirdness that comes with it, along with middle school and high school.
20-29: Selfishly focused hard work. Living on my own. Work hard and play hard. Looking out for #1.
30’s…
I stumbled upon this idea while thumbing through some old journals I have stored in my office. It was fascinating looking back on the ideas I wrote about, the goals I set and the thoughtful scribbles I catalogued along the way. Much of this journaling started in my mid to late 20’s so I had a basis for comparison when I started thinking about what’s to follow.
Foregoing the obvious and expected, like many others, my 30’s offered many milestones in my life. These thoughts are less about the milestones themselves and more about what I learned in the process.
Parenthood: Becoming a parent was a scientific journey for my wife and I. After years of trying “the old fashioned way,” we found ourselves at the University of Iowa Hospitals looking for help in starting our family. What followed was an IVF journey I couldn’t ever be prepared for. I say this because my wife and I are “Type A Preparers” by nature. We control. We organize. We define when things happen…except for pregnancy. Soon I would learn all I could control in this process were the black circles I drew on the small of my wife’s back with a Sharpie. Followed by the two inch needle I’d insert inside the circle and inject progesterone oil on a nightly cadence into her lower back. I don’t remember how many consecutive nights we did this for, but it felt like years! Fast-forward 9 years, and we’ve got an 8-year old son and nearly 4-year old daughter. We’re eternally grateful for all those at the U of I who helped us fulfill our parenthood dreams…albeit in a test tube. There is no love like being a parent. There is no uncertainty like being a parent. This is a bit of foreshadowing, but it was also my first experience with being truly anxious.
BusinessOwnership: On Feb. 27, 2012 I sent a LinkedIn message to a friend titled, “Opportunity Calls.” Yes, I saved the email too!! A few months later at 30 years old, the introduction paid off and the Agency I worked for acquired TargetClick Marketing to start a new digital division of the larger company. It was exhilarating and I got the itch to scratch on “owning a business” from my new colleagues. Greg, Doug, Therese, I’m forever grateful for you all and your friendship! As luck would have it, opportunity called to me a few years later and I was on the buyers side of the table again in 2015. The business I bought into was already successful, but we quickly drove it to new heights in a couple short and explosive years of growth. Just a year later, we had an offer to sell the business to a Private Equity backed holding company out of Memphis, TN. It was Dec. 1, 2016. I was 34. When my contract expired I’d be 38 or 39 years old. As the story unfolded, I left that business at 39 and President of the organization. Almost funny isn’t it? How timing works. It’s almost like that chapter, that decade, that opportunity needed closure at 39!
Investing: I’ve always had a strong interest in money. I’m interested in how it works, how it’s made, and how different groups of people think about and use money. In my 30’s my “money education” grew exponentially via the concept of asking some really simple questions to people I considered successful. What do the wealthy do? What do the wealthy own? Key word: OWN. I made it my mission to learn, apply knowledge and own more assets in my 30’s. I already noted the business ownership above (Check box). At 35, I started my real estate investment and ownership journey. I made the decision early in my 30’s and set a plan to “retire” by the ripe age of 45. There were two ways to do this. Win the lottery, or create income outside of any [9-5 income] to cover any basic monthly expenses. Real Estate offered the mechanism to accomplish the latter. I’m nearly five years into the journey and about 65% of the way to F-R-E-E-D-O-M (Say it like William Wallace screams it in Braveheart!!). Lesson here, big dreams are terrific. But nothing happens without taking big action!
Anxiety Lesson #1: I first learned about and truly experienced anxiety in my 30’s. The first time I’d ever had this feeling it was chemically induced and it was when I quit an all too frequent chewing tobacco habit. When that chemical addiction was defeated, I thought the feeling would be as well, but I was pulled back into some of those panicky feelings when going through the IVF process noted above. Being anxious is an exhausting experience. There were times I felt paralyzed in the “trigger protocol” of everything we were going through and we had so much HOPE invested in the process…but no guarantee lived on the other side. I didn’t want to feel our dreams getting crushed AGAIN! What I learned is the anxiety wasn’t about hope. It was about control. A lesson I’d learn again closing out my 30s with COVID.
Anxiety Lesson #2 – COVID. I don’t think we’re done learning about the true impact of COVID-19 on our mental well-being. COVID was a lasting anxious moment for me tied to things I thought I was owed and people I didn’t want to let down. When COVID initially hit, it was shock and awe for everyone…myself included. Those first few months with the kids at home, while running a business that was losing money every day, week, month felt impossible, but we got through the 1st wave. But not without making significant cuts to staff. If you’ve never done this, or sat up late at night staring at a spreadsheet with humans names on them…it’s REALLY hard. By dawn, a plan had to be in place to reduce expenses by many thousands of dollars. The fastest way to do that is something we’re seeing today across Big Tech companies. Eliminate large chunks of payroll. I’d never experienced this before, much less be one of the key trigger men. I wasn’t sleeping well or dealing well with the weight of these decisions. People’s lives were in my hands and I couldn’t find a fast or easy decision to circumvent this choice. In the Spring of 2021 my body started breaking down from the lasting stress and my Ulcerative Colitis flared again. Heavy lies the crown of leadership! At the end of it all, I can say I just didn’t want to let my peers, colleagues and former partners down. We were also owed some money from the sale of our business, and due to COVID I thought there was little to no chance we’d ever see it. Was this my fault? Again, these feelings are all about CONTROL. Now I’m afforded the opportunity to sit with these feelings and be more aware. I’m more aware of what’s in my control vs. what is not. I’m more open to talking through deeply challenging situations and most importantly asking for help/guidance.
At the expense of getting too windy on this post, I learned much more in my 30’s, but a post needs closure. I learned to meditate effectively in my 30s. I learned I have some of the best friends a person could ask for. I also learned a great deal about my body and diet.
All of this to say, I look forward to crushing the next decade in my 40s!
I think it’s safe to say I’m hardwired for ambition. It’s in my DNA to be ambitious. As most children do, I had dreams including BIG accomplishments. As an adolescent maybe that meant money, maybe it meant fame, or maybe I’d someday be able to say, “I made it” from a tropical paradise!
Aging provides a perspective to all these childhood dreams. That perspective is molded from the crucible of life and over time I think less about the dream and more about the why behind it and where it’s taking me?
BIG Accomplishment – What does this even mean? Or how will I know when I get there?
Money – Sure, when I was young I wanted to be RICH…who didn’t. Now, I’d rather be wealthy and financially free. (Ask Shaq, he learned there’s a BIG difference between being Rich vs. Wealthy)
Fame – Of course. I was going to be an athlete, or maybe in the movies. But I’m really cool with that not happening now. I also know my personality would NOT have handled fame well as a young adult. There’s a decent chance my ego wouldn’t have survived this dream well.
So I guess this leaves me defeated?
Not the least. I’m still just as ambitious as when I was young and I could easily argue I’m probably more ambitious now at 40 because this ambition comes with a focus and desire toward something much more real and toward something bigger than myself or selfish desires.
The element I’m thinking deeply about here is how much ambition is motivating, and how much creates problems. I heard a speaker say this earlier this year and it’s really stuck with me. Read it a couple times.
“The fire which forges, also consumes”
Isn’t that the truth. Push hard enough to push through challenge and produce meaningful progress. But, don’t push so hard you push everyone else away in the process of your selfish pursuit. Ambition…but not craziness boarding on obsession.
I read today the founder of Patagonia, Yvon Chouinard gave away his company with the purpose of ALL profits going to fight climate change. I often think about legacy and that’s a HELLUVA one to leave. Whether you think it’s “woke capitalism” or not. He will be remembered for doing something BIG! I very much appreciate the ambition required to make that happen. I also know he’s in his 80s. I wonder how he was thinking in his 30s or 40s.
What does Ambition look like to me now?
Let’s start with what it is not. I have very little ambition that remains for stuff. I think the simple saying that rings true here is, “There’s always another guy with a BIGGER boat!” I’m all for having nice things, but the pursuit of them is never ending and empty.
Lets instead look to the alternative. I view ambition through the eyes of an athlete or competitor because that’s what I’ve always been. When the final bell rings or the curtain drops, all that is left is the competitor. The individual, sweaty from effort, exhausted from thorough competition has no more ambition. There is nothing left to chase. It’s over. My question is, “how would I feel?”
My ambition for this moment trails less and less toward the idea of Win vs. Loss (and I’m a dude who isn’t shy to say I LOVE WINNING!). My desire for this moment is the realization I reached my best self or maximum contribution for others. The deep fulfilling breath that comes only from knowing you competed well at the highest level and got everything out of your talent you could. As Tony Dungy says, “No excuses no explantations.”
The only way to realize this feeling, is to remain ambitious
This is why I continually push myself and others. There is more to learn. I can be in better shape. I can be a better Dad, husband, business partner, or friend. If you’re a reader of this blog you know my affinity for Tony Robbins. Tony preaches, Happiness = Progress.
Now if you’re the cynical type, I can see someone challenging this and saying, “Yeah Zac, that’s great. But your ambition lacks specifics!” I’d say this is fair, but ambition is about desire vs. a goal which is about a target/outcome.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to my point of a realizing my “best self”, but I’m sure as hell going to try and continue progressing along the way!
I hope this message finds you relaxing on this national Labor Day holiday. As a reminder, this holiday was put in place to honor and recognize the American labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers to the development and achievements of the United States.
Makes me wonder…where did all the “Laborers” go? It’s time to get back to work America! Time to get back to making contributions to America’s strength, prosperity, and well-being.
Back to the purpose of this post, the 5 Thoughts on Labor Day
GRATITUDE – I heard it earlier this week and it hit me as very profound. If you looked back 10 years and told yourself, what you’d doing now, 10 years later…what would you say?!?!? For me that’s pretty simple. I’d say, “DAMN, That’s terrific!” I’m overly ambitious and an avid goal writer. Ten years ago I wanted to accomplish the following things: Have kids, own a business, build a house on a golf course, own income producing real estate, sell a business (for profit), income targets, etc. I can put a BIG FAT CHECK MARK next to all of these, with a special THANK YOU to the University of Iowa Hospitals and their reproductive team. I’ve heard Tony Robbins say, “people often overestimate what they can accomplish in a year, and underestimate what they can accomplish in a decade.” Today is a day to reflect and be grateful because that is absolutely true!!!
NUTRITION – As I move past that magical milestone of 40, I’m paying more attention to what I put into my body. Look I’m not perfect and I’m not counting every calorie or turning down every cookie. I’m still enjoying myself, but I’m paying very close attention to what I eat an how it makes me feel. With special attention being paid to limiting: sugar, gluten and alcohol. I’m also beginning to follow The Wahls Protocol (although not with militant vigor) as a way to keep my autoimmune condition in check. I will say, so far so good. I am feeling an increase in energy and better sleep.
SLEEP – A good night of sleep is EVERYTHING to me now. To be fair, I don’t know if I’ve ever been a great sleeper. I guess it’s my restless mind and sometimes overly ambitious personality at work. But, even if my 3-year-old wakes up a couple times a week in the middle of the night, I can feel it. I can also tell how I hit the hay based on what I ate/consumed for the day. Getting old does suck, but I’m trying to find ways to make it suck less. For me those include: A Sleep Mask, paying attention to alcohol and caffeine consumption, and overall diet. Few things feel better than an uninterrupted 8+ hours of restorative sleep. < – – – – – – That’s pure gold at 40!
ECONOMY – No silver bullets here or Nostradamus like predictions. But I do think about the macroeconomic factors frequently as an investor and business builder. Where are we? How did we get here? The most immediate thought I have is printing $7 Trillion is going to have lasting effects on where we’re going. There is TOO much supply given to those who created little or no economic value (Hence back to my tongue and cheek comments on “Labor” day). All that said, I still believe the United States is a terrific place to do business, and if you can stay away from tax crazed states, your chances grow considerably. I’m also wondering how we can have such low unemployment, yet sooooo many jobs available everywhere you look? Did that many people really retire or just exit the workforce? In the near term, I’ll continue investing in cash flowing real estate and I’ll keep a nest egg set aside for just in case scenarios.
NO NEWS – I’ve largely stopped watching the news on TV. The funny part is, I still know what’s going on in the world without having to hear about the day’s last looting, shooting, or riot. The only part I really tune in or fast-forward to is the weather. There’s too much shock and awe to start a day for me and the hyperbolic tone is over the top. I remember back to going to my Grandma’s after school and hearing Walter Cronkite deliver the news. Although I was very young, I felt like he actually reported the news and it wasn’t delivered with an agenda. Simpler times I guess.
As a final takeaway, I do a goal review/pacing every Sunday. Being that the calendar just rolled over to September, it means we still have 1/3 of the year left to accomplish big things, or re-establish momentum. I’m happy to say I’m well on pace for my goal of 250 Peloton rides in 2022. I also completed the goal of purchasing (2) income producing properties in 2022. As for other goals…I’ve got 4 months to make a big impact and a lot of pull ups left to conquer.
When I started out in my working career I’ve always thought very intentionally about retirement. You know, that mythical creature we’d all hope to reach by the ripe ole age of 65!! I might look something like the picture above (PS – Thx Snapchat Filter)
I began as most do, with an employer sponsored 401K and began socking away money for a day that “could be” 40+ years from when I started. Initial learnings of OPM (Other People’s Money) became apparent as my contribution was “matched” by my employer. I supplemented this work 401K plan with a ROTH IRA contribution. Post tax dollars invested for a similar “someday” but these dollars would not be taxed as they grew or when they would be redeemed. Decent start for someone early in their 20’s…or so I thought.
All that seemingly remained to accomplish my goal of retirement would be to:
Continue to grow earnings & investing with consistency over time
Reduce expenses and debt (this almost always makes sense)
Hope the market continued to grow as it had the last 90+ years
Don’t die…
Don’t Die?
Killer Strategy (no pun intended!). When saving for “Someday” the importance of don’t die took on a new light when I got into my 30’s and continued growing personal income. I began to question the ideals behind saving and investing (buy, hold, pray) during the best years of my life, so I could retire somewhere in Florida to ease my arthritis and work on my shuffleboard game in my 70’s at a measurably slower pace of life.
The goal isn’t to stash away money for 40-50 years so that some day when I’m 75 and have limited mobility I can be as free as a bird (from expenses). It takes too long!!! What if I wanted to retire 10 or even 20 years sooner? How could that happen?
Mindset Shift
Through an introduction of some terrific business friends, I read, listened to and re-listened to The 4-Hour Work Week, by Tim Ferriss. The “new rich” as he’d described saw retirement not as the end goal, but more a means of being throughout life. Scheduled “mini-retirements” were necessary to live life to the fullest now vs. saving it all for a future someday (the end). This began my learning journey of my 30’s.
Concepts like: Business Ownership, Monthly Cash Flow, Time Management and Target Monthly Income (TMI) became common place in my retirement planning while learning from the “new rich.”
The Rich Don’t Work for Money
I dove back into the classic Rich Dad Poor Dad and the classic teaching from Robert Kiyosaki. I started asking simple questions of the wealthy. How did they get there? What do they do? More importantly…what do they OWN?
Assets like a 401K, IRA, or Roth IRA weren’t accessible until 59 1/2 years old (without substantial early withdrawal penalty) and they’re subject to high tax. As I grew in my knowledge, I also became more aware of taxes on the impact of wealth creation and wealth preservation. Would taxes likely be higher 30 years from now….I’d venture a strong HELL YEAH, at this one!
I’m an incredibly visual person and so at 38I drafted this visual to unlock the answer to the question,
“What would it take to retire at 45?”
What would it take to require at 45?
Pretty simple answer. Produce monthly cash flow from investments that exceeds > current expenses. Period. End of story. Invest in assets which produce cash flow. [From: Rich Dad Poor Dad]
There’s a critically important point to make here. I’m 99% sure I won’t retire at 45 to a john boat, weekly fishing expeditions, morning coffee with the boys, and afternoon golf (daily). But, that doesn’t sound too shabby does it?
Back in 2013 I started what I call “Dream Bucket 2027” which is my plan to freedom at 45 years old. I sometimes interchangeably call this mission the “Freedom Fund” as I’m talking about it and investing in assets.
Familiar with the F.I.R.E. Movement?
Financial Independence Retire Early. If you’re not familiar with Mr. Money Mustache, this would be a good side track for you and another POV on early retirement if that’s the mission you’re on. His “mustachian” philosophy is that of aggressive saving and passive index fund investment and aggressively limiting and/or eliminating expenses for financial freedom. Different path, but similar destination in mind.
Where do we go from here?
Today I continue investing in cash flowing assets (primarily real estate) and I feel well positioned given the recent explosion of inflation. I’m also doing a great deal of learning about TAXES and how the wealthy navigate this space (legally)to keep more of what they earn. If you’re wondering why the wealthy don’t pay taxes, consult the IRS Tax code. The tax code is simply a series of “incentives” from the government. The wealthy understand how to use the code. Tom Wheelwright does a terrific job with his TAX FREE WEALTH books and content on this subject.
Nothing Happens without Income Growth
I’m certain there are differing opinions here, but I’ll make this very simple. The first step to any retirement or freedom journey is to MASSIVELY increase your income. A person can live very comfortably and with large steps forward with their income many options will become available. I recommend following Grant Cardone for income explosion inspiration and concepts. I’ve read a few of his books and they’ve been helpful on my journey.
As I move from my 30s to my 40s in 2022, I look back at all the learning I had in my 30’s and how different it was from the learnings of my 20’s. I’m looking forward to further mindset shifts in my journey and I look forward to updating the readers on my DREAM BUCKET journey.
This “go-to” smoothie is nearly a daily occurrence for me! Tom Brady has a similar blend for his favorite TB12 Blueberry smoothie recipe.
My son calls it, “The Purple Power Smoothie” and it’s a staple in the Keeney house usually 4-5 days a week for breakfast. After refining and testing my concoction, I thought it had a definite “Peanut Butter and Jelly” taste…which is A-OK by me!
When complete, this smoothie will be cool or cold, but not icy frozen and definitely smooth with a pleasing and vibrant purple appeal.
I grew up eating cold cereal most days of my adolescent and early adult life. My go-to was either Peanut Butter Capt’n Crunch or Honeycomb. By the way, if you’ve never mixed them…its the BOMB!
Over the years and as I get older I find my body reacts better to a little more balanced breakfast complete with more fruits/vegetables and protein (and less sugar!!!!). This balanced start also helps prevent me from the mid-late morning sugar crash!
This smoothie whips up in only a couple of minutes via our NutriBullet. A couple pours, a couple scoops and blend away! Tim Ferriss often asks guests on his podcast for their most valuable purchases under $100. For me, the Nutribullet has to be on the list…if not at the top. We’ve made hundreds of smoothies and it shows now signs of stopping soon. (I hope I didn’t just jinx it by writing that)
Ok, now to the punchline…the recipe. Please note I’m not the best measurer of ingredients. But the good news is, I’m an excellent estimator!
Purple Power Smoothie Ingredients (& estimates)
Frozen Blueberries (Hy-Vee Brand)- about a cup +/-
Almond Milk (Silk Almond Milk) pour to top of frozen blueberries
Peanut Butter (Creamy Jif)- a hefty/oversized scoop (tablespoon…I guess?). Be sure to lick off the excess!
Honey Greek Yogurt (Currently Chobani is my go to) – two hefty scoops plopped into the blender
**Banana – Sometimes I’ll add a ripe or overly ripe banana.
**Avocado – Similar to a banana I may add in an avocado for healthy fats
I use the larger of the two NutriBullet containers for my daily smoothie. It’s enough to make a good sized portion for my son and I to enjoy (about 16-20oz total).
I’m neither a dietician or a nutrition expert, but here’s what I gather is in this bad boy.
This smoothie contains over 40g+ of protein. It’s packed with antioxidents, vitamins and minerals. The Spinach and Chia seeds are heart healthy and are sneaky ways to add in vegetables and nutrient dense foods.
The next time you spin your blender, give this recipe a try and let me know what you think of it.
Fresh off a 5K run. Drenched in sweat and about to text my buddy Steve.
As the sun rises and the sun sets, I step closer and closer to that milestone birthday I once dreaded and made fun of in my 20s. Now as this milestone quickly approaches, I’m hopeful to believe life is less than half complete. Yes I’ll confess my age. I’m on the doorstep of 40!
What inevitability awaits is marketed to us on the daily. Do gray hairs now populate my head and beard? Could the waistline be slightly expanding? Is my club head speed beginning to deteriorate?
A couple months back around the holidays I was texting with a good friend of mine after a workout. Sweaty, but feeling energized from my recent accomplishment pounding the treadmill for a few miles I reminded him of the impending doom on our horizon. Our 40th birthdays would both come calling in March of 2022.
The question wasn’t if we’d make it to the milestone. No. We were certainly on a crash course with a “mid-life” encounter. The question I posed to him was, “How will we arrive at 40?”
How would I arrive for my wife?
Would I have the vitality necessary to keep a 20-year relationship fun and strong? Would I be desirable in my life choices or is the beer gut winning out? Am I doing my best to balance being a provider, a parent and a partner?
How would we arrive for my kids?
Would we have the energy, or more than enough energy to keep up with them as they grow out of babies into their adolescent years? Do we own enough discipline to know when to put work away and pickup a ball or book with our kids?
How would we arrive for ourselves?
How is our physical, mental and spiritual health at a time when we’re pulled in so many directions? Are we continuing to take on new and curious challenges to keep growing as individuals? Do we also own a deep gratitude to know we are “enough” today?
How would we arrive for our friends?
Are we someone a friend can trust or count on in a time of need? Or are we the one who seldom returns a call or text? Instead choosing the lazy route of disappearing into the ether of a “busy” life void of the connections we truly cherish?
A decade ago…
I shared somewhat similar and more surface level thoughts about this topic as I was nearing 30 and trying (unsuccessfully at the time) to start a family. Was I the reason my wife and I were unable to conceive? Was it my lifestyle that needed an overhaul? If we were blessed with kids, how would I arrive as a parent?
Time is a wonderful teacher. Ten years and a lot of life in between offer more perspective and more thoughtful reflection as I continue on this journey called life.
I now understand life is consistently presenting us with milestones. Each milestone contains a mini finish line on the horizon. Each finish line provides an opportune time time to ask, “How will I arrive when I break the tape of _______________ life event?
If you currently find yourself addicted, overweight, out of shape, anxious, or simply less than your best self…look forward to your next milestone and leverage the journey ahead for meaningful progress.
I don’t care if you’re soon to be graduating college, turning 30, welcoming your first child, turning 50, or soon to be 80 years young. Life is giving us all the opportunity to pause and take stock. Not that we are perfect or in pursuit of perfection. But that we HAVE ARRIVED!
January 2022 started off sulking my Iowa Hawkeyes bowl loss on New Year’s Day with a few icy blue Coors Lights. Alas, the next day I started dry January (a day late) with a renewed purpose and new goal pursuits for the new year.
If there’s a word I’m really leaning into for this year it is CONSISTENCY. I think the image below sums up it up pretty well. Less of the left…more of what’s on the right. [Relying on Motivation vs. Consistency]
Moreover, when I’m operating more on the right…I find rhythm. This leads to momentum and I’m ALL FOR steering momentum vs. trying to generate it from a dead stop. I wrapped up 2021 completing over 5,500 pull ups (with a goal of 3,650) and I’m hoping to continue the momentum from the back half of last year into 2022 (already at 1,100+).
My SCORECARD is about vitality metrics. It’s not a specific workout or calorie counting exercise. It’s about momentum, feeling good and the power of a great night of sleep (even when my 3 year old comes in from time to time).
Below are the elements I believe helped me generate and maintain a ton of momentum in January and ultimately led me to crush my goals.
January 2022 Momentum:
Consistency – Simple as it sounds, daily work and focus wins out. Even if it’s just a little bit. Not trying to over do it and win the war in a day. Showing up for battle after battle produces progress. Progress leads to momentum – – – – > Forward
Peloton – We invested in a Peloton in 2021 and I’m loving it. I booked 20+ rides in January. What else are you going to do when it’s -20 and dark outside? It’s a terrific sweat and something I honestly didn’t think I’d be so into. So far I’m partnering the rides with their meditation classes, which I think are REALLY solid.
DryJanuary – This has been a really good reset for my body. I don’t think I’ll be giving up alcohol indefinitely, but I will be paying more and more attention to how it makes me feel and also the impact on sleep.
Sleep – I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post. Sleep is the ultimate lever for how I feel. I do think alcohol is playing a role here to the point above. I’ll also add that if I meditate, stretch, or a combo of both before bed, a great night of sleep is almost certain to follow. As are some crazy vivid dreams!
Wim Hof Method – I’ve been sprinkling in Wim Hof Method breathing exercises with my meditation practice. Here is a quick YouTube link to a beginner session (it’s only 11:00). And yes, I’ve also started ending my morning shower with a couple mins of cold, COLD water. I guess I’m a sucker for self-improvement.
Checking ALL the Boxes – I’ll reiterate, my scorecard is about creating and maintaining VITALITY in life. Success breeds success. Hitting stride in one platform, leads to progress in another. Fitness + Spiritual + Knowledge.
Finding Momentum in February
As January comes to a close and we wave goodbye to frigid temperatures, there is a good chance many are also waving goodbye to well thought out “New Years Resolutions” promised just 30 days ago. So What!!! Inaction finds us all. Flush it and move on. Don’t dwell.
I beg of you, I implore you, start February anew and find progress in the smallest effort in the right direction. Look to the image above from Liz Fosslien and embrace this. Everyone starts at the bottom left stair. Everyone.
I’m writing this having surpassed my 2021 pull up goal by over 150%. But that in itself isn’t the lesson I’m hopeful to share here.
Wrapping up 2020 I knew I needed to do something different. Something challenging with my body and something different with my mind.
Starting the year I filled out Tony Robbins’ Rapid Planning Method worksheet (Follow the Link – I encourage you to use it!). The Rapid Planning Method is one part goal setting, one part reason for having the goal in the first place. I listed three goals. One of my goals was to complete 3,650 pull ups. Pretty simple math behind this one. Ten per day, every day, for an entire year. But achieving my goal was going to take consistency and time.
Easy to do. Easy NOT to do.
Slight Edge Principles. The time required to complete 10 pull ups is about 15 seconds (Maybe less). Let that sink in. A total of 15 seconds of output per day was my target. But, that wasn’t going to be the real challenge…the EVERY DAY part was! This wasn’t a goal for my biceps and back. It was a goal to flex my discipline muscle.
I Struggle with Discipline
Short term discipline I’m ok with. But the staying power required to complete looooong tasks is not a talent of mine. I become bored and typically move on to something else. I experience this finishing a book I’m less than interested in or staying with diet/lifestyle choices for long periods of time. This behavior has not proven to be detrimental, but I had a feeling I could do so much better if I pushed through the boredom.
So What Happened in 2021?
In 2020 I had the exact same pull up goal – But I quit shy of 1,500 (insert bummer emoji). Not sure why, other than what I mentioned in the paragraph above. I simply quit showing up to the bar. I got bored I guess because if you think about it, a pandemic is a PERFECT opportunity to knock out home workouts.
2021 HOT START – As with my addictive personality, I was off and running in January 2021 and feeling pretty good. Ahead of pace with few “missed days” in the process. The early goal was consistency and not try and overdo it.
Feb/March/April – I fell off the face of the earth as my Ulcerative Colitis flared up and my energy level was entirely zapped with work and parenting duties. I’d fallen behind…well behind and I was weak to boot! Signal – – – – > quitting time!
QUITTING TIME – Goal: 3,650. I’d done a little over 400. I had 3,250 left to complete and 7 months to do so. Given my situation I could’ve easily thrown in the towel. No one would fault me…except myself. Realistically all that changed was my 10/day target, moved north to 15+. Still 100% achievable if I’d commit.
MAY 2021 – Sometime after another colonoscopy, some helpful steroids and my body beginning to heal itself, I got back on the bar. I had work to. I was nearly 1,000 reps behind pace for where I “should have been” if I’d stuck to my 10/day/everyday commitment.
MOMENTUM – Sometime in the summer/fall I hit my stride and momentum kicked in. There were days I was completing 50, 70, or 100+ reps. I was chasing down my goal like a hungry dog chasing a meat truck and I had the calluses to prove it.
11/3/2021 – I hit target and damn it FELT GOOD!! This also meant I had nearly 60 days left in 2021 to create separation from my goal. I even started adding weight of 10-20 lbs. between my legs on sets.
Thus a new and good habit is born, for when an act becomes easy through constant repetition it becomes a pleasure to perform and if it is a pleasure to perform it is a man’s nature to perform it often. When I perform it often it becomes a habit and I become its slave and since it is a good habit this is my will
The Greatest Salesman in the World (The Scroll Marked I)
In reality, the annual pull up target isn’t really impressive. After all, David Goggins once did just over 4,000 pull ups in 24 hrs. One day! That said, my goal achievement did give me the momentum needed to see what’s possible. I’m thinking next year the target is 10,000 (after all…it isn’t even 30/day).
Like many others, I can be impatient in the pursuit of a BIG goal or target. Sprinting when I should be jogging and also resting when I should also be walking. This duel edged sword can be both good and prove incredibly challenging for someone like me when pursuing a lengthy goal. What helped me the most in 2021 was breaking the annual target into daily achievable numbers and staying the course. Small efforts magnified by time.
Don’t Eat the Whole Elephant
Those who work with me know I frequently use the saying, “Don’t eat the whole elephant, but instead…keep taking bites!” Small, intentional bites in pursuit of accomplishing the target!” Progress > Perfection.
As we step forward into another year the word RESOLUTION will be thrown around wildly in the coming days and weeks. My advice would be, RESOLVE to set daily or weekly targets and PUNT the New Year’s Resolution nonsense. Let the daily work and accumulation take care of itself. You can accomplish a WHOLE LOT of anything x 365!
I’ll leave you with the image on the right. Every rep accounted for on the backside of the drywall in my basement (sorry honey!).
Reflecting back on 2021, I see a year of challenge, renewal and momentum.
Incase you’re not a subscriber (subscribe below), or even if you are, you might have missed out on one of these gems. This is a quick recap of my top 5 blog posts of 2021 based on readership and engagement. Selfishly speaking, it was a fun exercise pulling together this content. I hope you enjoy this curated list this holiday season.
TOP 5 POSTS of 2021:
Earn Your Comfort – Happiness is NOT purchased through luxury, comfort and general ease. It’s purchased through progress and effort. Comfort is to be earned!
Starting Over. Week 1. Day 1. – Habits win out over time. This post is a reflection on where my bad habits left me earlier in 2021 (in a bad place) and the consequent journey out of a challenging time in my life.
The Four Pillars of Progress – This post unlocks my pillars to vitality. If I got only these four efforts right, the rest of life falls in line because my energy, output and sleep are aligned accordingly. The older I get, the more I’m focused on these efforts.
Greenlights and Havard Business Review Collide – Life is undoubtably a journey of managing the +/- being thrown at us. At times, momentum is effortless and we “find our frequency” and flow in the journey. This post will help you pay attention to times when it is all clicking. Pay attention to what you’re doing, who you’re with and how you feel. Be on the lookout for your own Greenlights.
Career Advice: Leave a Dent! – I made a large career change late in 2021. This change left me reflecting back on all the connections I’d made and the impactful moments I’d shared along the way. Business comes and goes, but we can always make sure to leave people with a lasting impact!
Looking forward into 2022 I will use the momentum generated from these posts to continue delivering my unique (Keen) perspective to the readers out there.
~Cheers to a healthy, wealthy and fulfilled new year!
I find myself writing this on the heels of making a big career move. In nearly 20 years, it’s really only the second one of my career and I find myself reflecting on the last seven years spent with my team.
The advice I give teammates about departing talent is always the same. “When a person departs…I hope they left a dent,” I’d say. Why would I say that?
Here’s why a person needs to leave a DENT:
It shows the work they were contributing really mattered
It shows other people counted on them for: insight, or advice, or thoughtfulness in a tough time
If their work didn’t matter…why were they there in the first place?
If their work didn’t matter, what do you think it was like going home for them? Or, what do you think a Monday morning felt like? Pretty flat.
A dent is a noticeable blemish. Yet, it isn’t catastrophic in nature like a wheel was removed from the bike in departure. Leave an impact…not a mess. The work will go on and you hope the team prospers in their endeavors!
Imagine a teammate leaving, and the following day someone says, “Where did Mike go?” The answer is met with some vague shrug of the shoulders description and everyone goes right back to what they were doing. What an empty feeling for Mike and the team!! You think he didn’t know that in the days or weeks leading up to him leaving?
Leaving a dent means you’ll miss things about your coworkers and company.
Leaving a DENT isn’t about deals or money
I’m incredibly fortunate to have team members reach out and say some VERY kind words in my departure. Not a single one of them was about a piece of business won, or revenue generated, or a P&L. They’re all about making an impact in each others lives. As proof, I’m posting a few of them below. Selfish as it may seem, I’d like to come back to them in the future and this will be a great place to do just that.
Almost everyone will eventually depart. When you do, LEAVE A DENT!
To my colleagues who took the time to put your words in writing. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Man I hate to see you go. I’m sure you will fill us all in on your new adventure in due time. I certainly wish you nothing but the best of luck. I will miss you my friend – and I thank you for the opportunity and pleasure to work with you. I’m excited for you Zac. Thank you for everything.
I was saddened to hear you’re leaving Mindstream but completely understand wanting to do something new! It’s been a pleasure working with you the past 5 years and I’ve always appreciated your positivity in any scenario. I’m so grateful for all the support you’ve shown me and just wanted to say thank you! I wish you all the best and hope our paths cross again.
Morning! Long time no chat : ) A lot has changed since the 2019, pre covid, good ole days ha. Saw the Friday vid and wanted to make sure I got a good luck in prior to you leaving. You are overall just a solid guy and a good leader – best of luck in what comes next. I know you will be great and an asset! Cheers to your next adventure!
Good morning and THANK YOU! Hi Zac, sad to hear you are leaving… I just wanted to say I appreciate all your contributions to my personal growth. All the best to you and your family!
Hey Zac. Good Luck to you!! Hate to see you go. By the way, (I know you don’t want to hear it since you are a Hawkeyes fan) but did you see that Cyclone win this weekend? I was at the game. It was so good!!! My nephew graduated from Iowa State in 2020, so we went back for the homecoming game. Have a good last week. I wish you the best.
Good luck on where you are going and thanks for all the support these past few years. I feel like I have learned a lot just from being part of the conversations that you led. Wish you the best in your next leadership role!
Zac, it’s been an honor to work alongside you! I wish you luck in the future and I hope we cross paths again. Thanks for everything!
I am heading to the airport soon but just wanted to say I have really enjoyed working with you the last couple years. You taught me a lot and I always appreciated your positivity and upbeat energy you bring. New business will definitely have a void without you but wanted to wish you well on your next endeavor
I was OOO Friday and just now learned of your departure. That makes me sad, but sincerely happy you have the opportunity to follow a new path in life. I wanted to thank you for the coaching, assistance and partnership as we’ve worked to together over the past couple of years. I’ve learned a lot from you. Thanks for for everything! It’s been a true pleasure working with you. Wishing you much success with your new gig.
I am sad to hear about your departure, but excited for you and your new opportunity. You will be greatly missed! I have enjoyed getting to know you and working with you over these past few years. I remember meeting you at Meso Maya when merger talks were in progress when we hung out in that upstairs room eating great Mexican food. I have always been impressed with your enthusiasm and passion for our business! I always learn something when we talk. I just wish there had more opportunities for us to get to know each other better/work more together.
Know this! I’m faaaaaarr from perfect. I don’t think everyone had the same feeling. I made a boatload of mistakes along the way. I also leave with confidence knowing…I left a DENT!
I used to think the goal of life was to seek or retire into comfort. Some would do this at 45, others maybe 75…but retire nonetheless. Comfortable. In the meantime during the pursuit, I’d take some time out of every week to be…comfortable.
I’m now convinced this couldn’t be further from the truth. The goal of life is continued progress. Working through hard things, for the benefit of personal growth and progress.
Someday when I do retire, I want to arrive there knowing it was EARNED.
“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.” — Theodore Roosevelt
Unearned or continued comfort is called laziness. Reminds me of the Seven Deadly Sins and the sin of Sloth. But sloth isn’t only laziness, it is also carelessness, unwillingness to act, half-hearted effort, or becoming easily discouraged by possible difficulty.
When Everything is Satisfaction
Too much of a good thing, connects my thoughts to the often used analogy of the “rich kid, with a cocaine habit!” Everything given to him, such that he works for nothing, appreciates nothing, is motivated by nothing because there was no struggle to achieve what was gifted (in this instance, money and time). Instead of work and progress toward a goal, he focuses his efforts and energy on a substance that gives him that lonely “high” he’s searching for. That comfort and release he’s been so desperately looking for. When everything is satisfaction and easy, satisfaction is unearned and empty.
Friday Feels
There is something really wonderful about a Friday evening after you’ve made the most of a week kicking ass Monday through Friday. Earning the opportunity to have a great dinner, or a cocktail, or simply to put your feet up, feels infinitely better when reflecting on progress of a week vs. just moving through the motions.
Challenge Comfort with Progress
Tony Robbins says, “Progress equals Happiness!” This is exactly what I think “earning comfort” looks like. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Say it out loud. It FEELS DAMN GOOD! It feels like momentum. This is exactly why successful people continue to be successful oftentimes in greater magnitudes. They’ve generated tremendous momentum and they literally can’t be stopped. Successful people generate too much momentum and have reservoirs of progress to tap into when they hit a lull.
Rich Roll Said it Best
I shared this in my last post, and I think it’s worth sharing here again. Rich Roll on happiness.
Rich Roll says the following: “We’re in a culture that is driving everybody toward this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury, comfort and ease. And the truth could not be more different from that reality. If you want to find peace with yourself, self understanding, self knowledge, self esteem, all of these things are going to be found through: sacrifice, getting uncomfortable, re-evaulating what your normal is and putting yourself in situations you don’t want to f*cking do” “RICH ROLL PODCAST – EPISODE 413”
The Answer in Children’s Eyes
I’ll leave you with this. My son is currently learning how to read real books and it’s an exciting engagement every night we dive into a book (< – – – insert challenge). We work with him every week on learning new words from school, but this isn’t about learning “level 3 words” as much as it is about feels to me. The reaction a child produces when they learn something new is astounding. You can literally see the spark in their eyes, and their physiology changes in an instant due to the challenge just conquered. The world is theirs for a moment! More importantly, momentum is earned and stored to tackle the next phase of learning and the next challenge.
We’re all evolved children. You need that spark. I need that spark. We must combat boredom with progress and earn our comfort.
I despise starting over. But beginning Feb. 26, 2021…that’s exactly where I was.
I spent that cold Iowa Friday night with some friends on the golf simulator at our golf course. A few too many beers and a few months of COVID (family, business, life) stress led me to making a decision I knew I’d regret as I’d spent years staying clear of it.
I’d chew tobacco again. But it wasn’t really that I’d chew again that specific night, it was more that I’d been doing a lesser version of this same habit (Camel Snus) for a few months in 2020 and most importantly – – – – > hiding it from my wife. But this night it was the real stuff and it was placed directly against my gums…and it tasted G-R-E-A-T. It was sending ALL the signals to my brain I knew I’d have to fight on my hands…tomorrow.
The next day I was filled with a poor night of sleep and a titanic-sized boat load of shame with my family. I was starting over and I knew what the addiction battle that lie ahead looked like and that I needed to rebuild my body and health.
The prognosis was simple: two weeks of hell followed by bits of progress and commitment. But the good news is I’d done it before, and that was the silver lining.
Let me rewind.
I quit chewing in 2011. I know this because I kept a diary my first 100 days of quitting. Sept 12th was my first “Days Upon Days” email to myself (I’ve shared these with no one). I’d slipped up two days prior to writing this message. I was watching the Iowa vs. Iowa State game in 2011. It was a 44-41 overtime thriller and one of the last times in a decade Iowa State would beat Iowa (sorry, couldn’t resist Cyclone fans). I was six days into my quit and I’d given in. I was at my friend’s parents house (Kalli you’ll remember). Here’s proof of my first email to myself.
The following week would present the same challenge as the week before. Tailgating. Make it past seven days. Eventually I did, and continued to write about my journey the whole way, past day 100 and beyond. If I’m ever deep in a challenge, I relate back to these messages to understand what I’m capable of taking on, and what real perseverance looks and feels like. It starts as pain, and ends in progress.
At this moment in my own personal reflection, I’m quite certain you’re asking yourself, “Why is he telling me this?” “What is it about this story that needs to be shared now?”
I’m sharing because I’m staring to embrace the concept of starting over and energy of the rebuild. I’m making a game out of it.
Life isn’t a straight line and people make mistakes. God knows I’ve made my fair share and I’m sure I’ve got more waiting for me.
Most importantly, I know people this very moment struggling and battling with a variety of similar challenges and they’re all MEN I respect. I’m talking with some men daily and others weekly as they work to make progress in their journey. They’re all in different phases of the rebuild and “starting over” from any one or two of the things listed below:
Anxiety
Depression
Alcoholism
Stress from Business Collapse
Addiction
Marital Issue
Combo order of elements above (add two, shake and scream)
I’m sharing this for my friends, colleagues and peers to know they’re not alone. Everyone is dealing with some shit. The rebuild isn’t humiliating. It’s an empowering challenge. And although it may suck now, it doesn’t have to suck forever. There is a way through and it’s actually incredibly mobilizing with momentum.
Dealing with stress, or anxiety, or addiction doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. Everybody’s got something. How do I know? Listen to this podcast with olympian Michael Phelps (23 gold medals) talking through his struggles. Tim Ferriss Show Episode 494. Michael Phelps now famously stated, “It’s OK, to not be OK!”
I love that. It’s OK, to not be OK!
If you’d like more mental resources, here is another I recently feel in love with from Rich Roll and David Goggins. Start your watch at 1:46:38 when Rich says, “Then it becomes about Willingness…”
Lastly, Rich says the following: “We’re in a culture that is driving everybody toward this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury, comfort and ease. And the truth could not be more different from that reality. If you want to find peace with yourself, self understanding, self knowledge, self esteem, all of these things are going to be found through: sacrifice, getting uncomfortable, re-evaulating what your normal is and putting yourself in situations you don’t want to f*cking do”
“Rich Roll Podcast – Episode 413”
~Damn Rich. Love this! Thank you!
One last thought I’d like to share is, “Be weary of the quick fix.”
I know I’m guilty of wanting answers and progress immediately in life, especially in times of struggle. But that’s just not likely, nor will the results stick. Results have to be trained in with habits. Good habits.
I’m reminded of lottery winners who win tens of millions in a jackpot…then go broke. Why on earth would a lottery winner go broke!?!?! Because they didn’t have good money habits in the first place. The money was transient. The habits won out. They’re broke again.
Today upon publishing this piece it’s Oct. 7th and I’m feeling really great. My body and mind are in an entirely different place than where they were six months ago. Looking back I was broken, body inflamed, stressed and tired. I still feel the temptation, and I will continue to, but that’s ok. I’m aware and being aware is the shit!
My habits are also in a different place. I’m on a mission to knock out 3,650 pull ups this year (10 per day). It’s a feat I gave up on in 2020 and only amassed 1,400 before quitting. I’m proud to say I’m nearly at 3,000 and I’m gaining momentum every day. Three months ago I started running again to get a good sweat in and free some mental space. I still don’t like running, but I love the cleanse of a good sweat.
(Good/Bad)Habits win over time!
Choose your habits wisely.
If any element of this post hits with you, I’d share with you one final quote,
Henceforth, I will consider each day’s effort as but one blow of my blade against a mighty oak. The first blow may cause not a tremor in the wood, nor the second, nor the third. Each blow, of itself may be trifling, and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble. So it will be with my efforts of today
I’m going to share with you a secret. I’ve been using this secret to unlock my happiness and momentum in 2021, coming off what was a challenging 2020 and 1st quarter of 2021.
The four pillars I’m going to share with you are helping to unlock my happiness, reduce tension and simply move through life with more ease, creating effortless momentum.
The Four Pillars:
Exercise
Sleep
Hydration
Meditation
I really hope at this point there is some eye-rolling happening…because of the simplicity of what was just shared.
Speaking on the note of simplicity for a moment, I find myself more in the pursuit of simplicity the older I get. I see it everywhere and when done well…it’s beautiful, its poetic and simplicity also produces power.
I look for simplicity in sports because of the rhythmic movement needed to produce a repeatable outcome. Here are a few of my favorites.
Ray Allen’s Jump Shot – Simple. Beautiful. No wasted movement. Poetic. SPLASH!
Louis Oosthuizen’s Golf Swing. Simple. Compact. Powerful.
Barry Bonds Swing – (yes he was juiced on horse steroids), but even prior to those record setting years his swing was simple. Compact. Extremely effective.
Aaron Rodgers Passing Motion – Yes his god-given talent is likely off the charts, but the ease in which he flicks the ball is so fun to watch (and I’m a Bears fan).
In 2020 I found myself lacking in the simple execution of paying my daily debt to the four pillars, leaving me feeling less than my best self, and (I believe) setting flare to my autoimmune disease. A loss of momentum can snowball.
It’s pretty easy to figure out really. Too much stress, too little exercise, poor sleep, and under hydrating myself lead to a lifestyle I personally can’t sustain. Neither can you I’d argue. I’m also thinking more and more about health and general well-being coming off a year when many of us saw life through a very different lens. I don’t want to be that guy that waits til he’s 60 and their cardiologist says, “you gotta make some lifestyle changes Zac, or else…”
Why not start now?
I’ve adopted the thinking that I’d like to feel 20 again, but think like I’m 60. Interestingly, or ironically I’m about in the middle of those two numbers anyway, so maybe it’s just a realignment. Amazing what that does to a person’s perspective. Feel like you’re 20, think like you’re 60. What does that mean?
Feel like 20 – To me this is about energy and enthusiasm. A playful and youthful exuberance to play offense in life and let the chips fall where they may.
Think like 60 – This is about perspective. Cutting out petty annoyances and relationships. Barring anything tragic, life is a long game to be played. Think about it this way.
The daily practice of following my scorecard (exercise and meditation) along with staying hydrated get the last and most important piece – – – – – – > A good night of sleep.
I’d ask you to think deeply about the last time you had a great night of sleep? How did you feel the next day? What was your energy level like? How about your overall zest for life and creativity?
The question I started asking myself is what leads to a terrific night of sleep? It can’t really be 20 things. I kept coming back to four.
I recently read Matthew McConaughey’s book, “Greenlights” and I loved it. The whimsical storytelling was easy to read and found myself laughing out loud numerous times. At some points, I was left shaking my head asking myself, “Is this true? Can’t be! Did he really do that??!”
More importantly, I found the exercise of Matthew finding his “greenlights” incredibly enlightening and took it as a personal challenge. Matthew went on many journey’s in his life, looking to “find his frequency” when he was lost personally. I got to thinking…why don’t I do the same?
I dove back into old notebooks. Notebooks I’d been keeping for years…in search of my own GreenLights. I began pouring through old sketches, business plans, ideas, notes to myself and challenging questions. Here’s a 10-year snapshot of the notebooks and journals kept.
I was in search search of finding my frequency
Where was I having the MOST fun in my career?
Who was I working with? What did they have in common?
What projects did I effortlessly dive into?
Where did I lose track of time because I was so deep in work?
Where did ample challenge, best meet energy to tackle it?
Where were the BIGGEST WINNERS? What projects, campaigns, or teams produced exponential output?
Success leaves clues. Follow the breadcrumbs of history and you’ll find them!
I challenge you to pause here. Did you click the HBR link above? You really need to. You owe it to yourself and your team. It’s more important now than ever. COVID set people off their frequency. Everyone is trying to relearn, reimagine and recalibrate their life.
This is the exercise for exactly that!
Here is the kicker. Your responses to “The 5 Questions” from HBR, have to be in writing. Your writing, not someone else’s. This could be either hand written or typed out on a keyboard, but you have to put them in writing because the exercise will challenge you to truly think about your answers. Your mind will know if you’re writing bullshit, and you’ll rewrite it.
The feeling this produces is fulfilling. A feeling of self-awareness meeting satisfaction of the truth. Like stepping out of a dark room and the sunshine hits you in the face feeling. Step into it!
Final step of the journey…Share unapologetically! There is no fear in showcasing your best self.
Best of luck in the journey of recalibration and finding your frequency!
I was watching a video on Instagram yesterday and this question really stood out to me. “What happens to water when it stops moving and becomes stagnant?”
Imagine a pool where the filter stopped working.
The image below speaks more than 1,000 words to tell you what stagnation looks like. The parasites, the disease, the negativity. It all has a chance to thrive when stagnant. Nothing is pushing it to move. Now play this out in your head. What happens a week from now, a month, a year…
Lesson: Keep Moving!
Like millions of others, I follow Grant Cardone and I’ve found his perspective of the wealthy very interesting. Grant says the rich, more specifically the ultra-rich are mercurial with their location, businesses and money. Always staying on the move, potentially with the thought of staying “one step ahead” of the rest.
Constant movement. Constant progress. Execute, learn, iterate and execute again.
In boxer parlance, stick and move. Stick and move!
Stagnation = Boredom. This is without a doubt the enemy of any pursuit.
Workout hit a plateau?
You and your partner aren’t connecting on the same wavelength?
In a rut with your nutrition or diet? Or making poor choice after poor choice?
Not feeling connected on your current spiritual journey?
Find yourself following or reading the same thing over and over again?
Friend circle have you in a death spiral of gossip and not enough talk about ideas and possibility?
Keep moving! Keep evolving!
I say it often and try to reinforce it with team members I work with weekly. No one has it all figured out. No one! Have a well thought out plan, execute it and be prepared to move based on the results. Be like water and find the path. Flexible and fluid. This is where I find entrepreneurs the most fascinating and I’m definitely not 100% a purebred entrepreneur. The entrepreneur may not be labeled as society’s “smartest” but they use their will, to find a way. No matter how long it takes to find it. Never stagnant, always moving, always pragmatic in the approach.
To the point of the stagnant pool example above, we need to be certain we’re keeping the filter on. Filtering allows us the perspective to audit and keep the water flowing cleanly. Keep a keen eye focused on your behaviors and be willing to consistently audit and filter.
Stagnation hits us all. I’m visiting it in my life right now. I’ve been stagnant with a few thoughts and behaviors and now I’m making changes. Big changes with respect to my lifestyle.
As I’m typing this, I’m 24 hours into a fast that will likely last about 30 hours. I get a colonoscopy about every 2-3 years due to my ulcerative colitis condition and the fast is part in parcel with that procedure. What seemed impossible when I first did this years ago (WTF…not eating for 30 hrs!?!?!?), really isn’t so bad after all.
Think I’m crazy?
The fast produces an odd amount of clarity in the mind and “filtering” for the body to reset. It also showcases the power of the mind over the body. I’m strongly considering the incorporation of a 24 hour fast into my monthly scorecard. More to come on that.
Lastly, I’m in the midst of undertaking new behaviors to filter out some of the inflammatory aspects of day-to-day life. The older I get, the more I’m paying attention to how I feel and the importance of sustained energy and momentum in life.
New Wrinkles:
Cold Shower – at least 60 seconds, if not 2 mins in the morning. Water temp below 70 degrees.
Wim Hof Breathing Exercise – 1x daily (Link to example here – – > Wim Hof Breathing) Give it a try!
Daily Meditation (evening) – I subscribed to the Peloton app during the pandemic and really like some of their guided sessions. There is tremendous variety and it’s a nice change of pace from my usual practice.
Diet – The research behind the gut/brain connection is now plentiful. Adjustments to the gut microbiome are driving my curiosity here.
If you find yourself stagnant, as I did coming out of COVID, start with getting curious about how to start something new. Flexible and fluid in pursuit of a better outcome.
I will warn you. It’s the lessor part of my personality to try to change ALL things, all at once. This takes tremendous will power. Do your best to resist that implementation method and adopt a process for incremental progress.
I believe this is one of the most powerful pieces of advice I can give anyone on tribe following this content.
STATE. YOUR. INTENTIONS.
I’ve been fortunate enough to follow some really solid advice in my life, and for the most part I can’t really tell you where it came from. I can only tell you what it’s given back to me…which is everything.
When I was 21 interning at a job (unpaid as an intern) I stated my goal (and wrote it down) to be the youngest Account Executive the company had seen to date. Less than two years later it happened. It was just before I turned 24. A year or two later I was managing the largest piece of business we had.
Just prior to 30, I stated the need to expand our company’s offering at the time and the need to acquire talent in the digital field. I wrote that message to an old friend on 2/27/2012. I still have the email saved. Less than a year later, the acquisition of this company was complete and we were off and running with an entirely new product line. Looking back, this was one of the most fun times of my career. ~Cheers TargetClick.
After the previous accomplishment, I felt the burning desire to own something. My eyes were opened.I wasn’t going to continue on working my tail off for only what was left over. I needed to be on the other side of the deal. I needed a seat at the table and began my search. It was mid 2014. In 2015 I made the transition and after putting in a year of solid growth, my intentions were rewarded. I owned a piece…and a piece is more than zero. As luck would have it, almost a year after this, we sold our business to a much larger firm in the space. Something I couldn’t have imagined only a few years prior. Until I stated my intentions to OWN.
My newest intentional ask revolved around relationships and the real estate space. I’d been devouring books, audio, and lessons on real estate ownership but I had one big problem…I still didn’t own or operate anything. So, what did I do? I called my banker. Stated what I was looking to do, and ask that they connect me with another customer of the bank, one who was already operating in the space. Preferably someone my age. Fast-forward to today, we own and invest in multiple pieces of real estate with a few more deals in the works. Each producing monthly cashflow. Reading another book wasn’t going to get me across this threshold.
In each of these examples, I stated my intentions clearly, and was committed to their outcomes. This is vitally important. I was committed to their outcomes and was prepared to take LARGE action.
Here’s what won’t work.
Who you tell matters. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”~Buddha. Try telling a bum on the street your intentions to become wealthy…can he help you? Not likely. Who you tell matters what resources will present themselves. My advice, tell someone who has what you want, or is doing what you’re doing!
Lack of Commitment. Running around flapping your gums about what you want to do is wasteful if you aren’t 100% committed. These people are a blow hard. Big hat, no cattle. People do pay attention and they’ll know it’s fake. To note each of the examples above, I was ALL IN on bursting through the door once the opportunity presented itself. No going back. State intent, find guidance, and act!
I continue to use and coach this strategy today as I go about mapping out the journey that is life.
ACTION ITEM: You have to get insanely intentional about your life. Know exactly what you want. For you. Not anyone else. You don’t have to know exactly where to find it. In my experience, the world has a funny way of presenting itself once you know what it is you want and are committed to the pursuit!
I know what you’re thinking. That’s what many will say of the year 2020. I’ll spare you all the reasons why, as there are many and I believe at this point of the year we’ve been inundated with their storylines. Like most, I could easily crumple up the notes of 2020 and throw it in the trash can. Light it on fire, and (you know what) on the ashes! “On to the Next One,” Jay Z would say.
This year brought a confluence of challenges: financially, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. All aspects of what was once day-to-day, were upended in relative immediacy on March 16th, 2020.
Let us not forget what 2020 came to bear.
In the toughest of times, I believe the mirror paints the most vivid of pictures in reflection if you choose to see it. Let us move forward, but with a keen eye to the teachings of this past year. Was this year really “the worst,” or was it the weakest link in a chain of decisions?
Also, before we move forward into a new year, let us consider this. What if…what if, all things aren’t immediately “better” in 2021. What then? Have you thought about that? Do you or I have the perseverance and perspective to continue on and march through this?
The second World War lasted four years from 1941-1945. This troubling and uncertain time produced what would be labeled the greatest generation. This generation was molded by the hands of growing up in the roaring 20’s, living through the crash and Great Depression, storming the beaches of Normandy and securing victory in WWII. This generation set our country up for what would become the greatest nation the world had ever seen. And boy did this generation have perspective!
We’re not even a year into this pandemic. Could we last four years?
The sermon I was listening to at (virtual) Orchard Hill Church this morning LINK HERE was delivered by Alice and was about “pondering” where we’ve been, what we’ve learned, and how can we carry that forward into a “better” next year. We must look back. We must acknowledge the cause, and not merely the symptom of what got us to where we are, and bring solutions forward.
Here’s what I’m bringing with me:
Financially – Tighten the belt loop. When hard times hit, companies reduce expenses to return to profitability. That isn’t really very interesting. What is however, is thinking back to 2008. When expenses are reduced due to contraction, they don’t come back anywhere near where they once were pre-recession. Profits follow and the business rebounds. Look at yourself like a business. You are a business! My family is a business and we operate it with ample margin. Don’t go running back to unnecessary or unfounded expense. If you haven’t noticed, society really doesn’t care what you drive or wear in a pandemic. How significant has that been for you the last nine months? Life also hasn’t ended the last nine months without Netflix. Financial Smarts > Scrooge McDuck.
Debt – Overwhelming debt is crippling. Be conservative in your estimates and ensure you’ve got runway for things just like what we’re experiencing. Here’s a rule I live by. If you can’t pay for it twice, you can’t pay for it. This offers a tremendous blanket of protection and freedom in crisis.
Time Commitments – For a moment there back in March, April and May it seemed as though everything came to a screeching halt…and maybe that was a good thing. All of a sudden weeks weren’t filled with 20 commitments in a schedule which would allow only 10. I’m not coaching you to keep your kids out of soccer or basketball. Yet a more discerning eye to commitment is possible as we look forward. What brings you joy? Spend your time there!
Health – I’m yet to reach 40, and I’m confident in saying some day I’d sure like to see 80 and grandkids. Furthermore, I don’t think we’ve seen the last virus to rock us in my lifetime. That said, I hope to be prepared for when it comes. Doing so means following my scorecard I mentioned early in 2020. Exercise. Meditation. Church. Growing my Perspective. Move. Meditate. Read.
GRIT – Not so shockingly, I was moved to write a post about GRIT in 2020. I was speaking with my six year old son about the challenge of moving into and through hard things. Boy was this year filled with “hard things” to ponder. I felt like every week I was getting punched in the stomach. Although I had many sleepless nights, I will look back and say…hard, undoubtably HARD… but, not impossible. The Only Way Out is Through < – – a worthwhile read here.
I miss Travel. I miss my friends and gatherings. I miss a night on the town in a crowded restaurant and the energy of humanity.
But it will come back.
In closing out the year 2020, I ask for you to look at your keyboard. Look down at ALL the keys. Now avert your eyes to the far right side of the keyboard.
What I’m choosing to do on 2020 is press RETURN, not DELETE. Begin writing the next chapter. A chapter connected to the entire story.
