Some call it feedback.
Others call it disapproval, criticism, or even “constructive” criticism. No matter what, I haven’t met too many people who love getting negative feedback. Yet, none of us are immune to criticism. That said, how do you react to it?
Instead of the feedback coming from external sources, how about getting comfortable with it coming from within.
Every major change I’ve encountered in my last 10 years is the direct result of calling myself out. Essentially in not so many words saying, “Really!?!? Maybe that’d be the case…if you weren’t full of shit!”
This is where transformation occurs. As the saying goes, being sick and tired of being sick and tired. When it comes from outside, it can be shrugged off, and often times it is. When it comes from within, the fire to change burns soooooo much hotter.
Where did this happen in my life? I’ll tell you a few examples.
Career: A few years back I talked about doing something BIG with my career. Somewhere other than the place I was at. Problem was, my action didn’t match my words. I had empty intentions. Enough people told me I was bright, talented, and driven, so the story I was telling made sense. But my action didn’t match reality. It was the Fall of 2014 when I called myself out. In January of 2015 I started a new challenge and started cashing the checks I was writing with my words.
Addiction: I’m an addict. Not in the sense I’m a recovering drug addict or an alcoholic, but I have a very addictive personality. I had a nasty habit with tobacco that turned into what I’d consider an addiction lasting a few too many years. My wife asked me to quit many times. Why didn’t that work?
Looking back now it is so gross thinking about it, but it wasn’t until I got really serious and borderline angry with myself in the process of quitting. I can tell you the day (I have a weird way of remembering these things) and I also wrote it down in my journal at the time. 
Sept. 10th, 2011 I knew it was done. I was at Jerry and Connie Davis’ lovely farmhouse watching the Iowa State vs. Iowa football game. I was about 4-5 days into my 2nd attempted “quit”, having a panic attack watching a football game. The lack of nicotine had my body short circuiting. I’d never felt so awful in my life, and that got my complete attention.
Diet: When I was 27 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (an autoimmune disease of the colon). I’d never felt so terrible in my life from the inside out. What needed changing was my lifestyle and diet. I was traveling a great deal, not eating well, and just wasn’t looking after myself the way I needed to. I quit the dip. Stopped (for the most part) eating fired food. No more hard alcohol. Funny thing happened. I started to feel a ton better and have even been able to get off the medication i was initially prescribed. The disease may never go away, but I’m now the one in control when previously it was the other way around. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
There is something invigorating and powerful about calling your own shots. Especially when the shots are fired internally. No one else to blame.
I read this a long time ago and forgive me as I’m not sure where,
“If it’s up to you…then it’s up to you!”
ACTION ITEM: Father Time is undefeated. Instead of carrying around buckets of regret, get comfortable calling yourself out! Make the change that needs making.
