Let’s start with the facts. I’ve been burned out a couple times in the last handful of years. Once during COVID. Secondly, and more recently, I felt it after a work trip overseas to France. I came home feeling exhausted (plenty of jet lag) and in need of some R&R. Instead I had both kids visit the Emergency Room in a couple week span and my wits felt entirely frayed.
My Goal With This Post: Help men recognize the early warning signs of burnout before they actually crash out—across work, home, relationships, and personal health.
I’m Fine. The Most Dangerous Lie We Tell Ourselves.
Burnout isn’t a “big bang” like development. It’s a slow leak of energy. The direct result of high-achieving dads juggling multiple roles they don’t discuss or seek praise for. These roles include achieving career success, coaching your kids, and being a “good” Dad. They also involve showing up as a husband, helping keep up at home, and playing an active role at church. And this is just the beginning, the list goes on. Burnout eventually feels like hitting a wall, but instead of a strong impact, it’s more of a THUD and the tank is empty.
What Does Burnout Actually Look Like? (It’s NOT just exhaustion)
- Work: disengaged, mentally checked out, cynical about everything
- Marriage: short temper, low patience, little desire for connection
- Fatherhood: present but not there—resentful of the demands kids place on you
- Personal Health: sleep suffers, workouts stop, diet crashes, the spiral begins.
- Home Duties: avoidance, procrastination, or doing everything with bitterness
I write these things to share that I’ve 100% been there. I’m not above it, or you. I’ve been IN IT! I’ve felt each of these feels in their entirety!
In order to diagnose where I am, here are five self-audit questions to ask:
- Am I showing up how I want to at home and at work?
- What’s something I used to enjoy that now feels like a burden?
- When’s the last time I felt truly rested?
- Am I numbing out or zoning out more than usual?
- Would the people closest to me say I seem off?
- **A bonus – what am I avoiding that I usually wouldn’t?
In the next post, Burnout Recovery for Dads: How to Reclaim Your Energy Without Quitting Everything, I’ll provide practical and doable strategies I’ve used to reset. These strategies will help dads regain their energy, clarity, and focus. They can achieve this without quitting their jobs or abandoning their responsibilities.
PS – I must share an experience I had dining out with my family a couple weeks back. When I asked for the check, the waiter said, “not to worry sir, this one’s on the owner. He came out, pointed to your table and said, see that guy (pointing at my table)…his meal is on me tonight!” My wife and kids were shocked at a stranger (to them) and his generosity. When I got home, I sent him a text of gratitude to thank him for the meal. Here’s what he said back.
Appreciate it and appreciate your Keen Mind 😉 there is a depression rate in men that is way too high. I love your message.
Your kind words keep me going Blake!
