Category Archives: Habits

The Quality of Your Life = The Quality of Your Questions

questions

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire

The inspiration for writing this post is actually a Tony Robbins quote I came across a few times now in my recent readings.  It’s an extremely valuable statement because it shapes the lives we lead every day.   If we don’t change our questions, and direction, we are likely to end up where we are going.

So that we may better understand the two directions available to each of us, lets look at conflicting lifestyles and frame both viewpoints with the questions each asks.

Let me tell you about the “wanters.”

Life happens to these people.  Here is what their questions sound like:

  • Why me?
  • Why can’t I do this?
  • Why does my boss hate me?
  • Why can’t my parents just be wealthy and leave me a big inheritance?
  • How is it I never have enough time?
  • Why does he get a raise, and I never make any more money?
  • What can I do to be more lucky?
  • Why do I have to learn this?
  • How can I provide as little effort as possible and still get paid?

A strong “victim” pattern exists to the style and direction of these questions.  There is little to no control.  Please read through each of these questions again and take a deep breath.  I’ve asked these questions too.  It doesn’t make us bad people, we were just ignorant to what else was out there.

The cure for ignorance is curiosity.

That said, what questions can you ask to get more out of your life, career, or business starting today?  Here are some I’ve learned over the years.  Ask, and a better life awaits you.

  • Why not me?
  • Why not now?
  • What more can I learn?  (What don’t I know, that I should know)
  • How can I provide more value to differentiate myself, my product or my company?
  • What can I learn from his/her success?
  • What does success look like?
  • What more can I do to help?
  • What do I want from life?
  • What can I say “NO” to?

What did you notice?

There is a strong pattern of “ownership” in this question pattern.  I could keep going, but instead I found this wonderful link on Forbes.  35 Questions That Will Change Your Life.   There are categories and I found the “Self Awareness” grouping the most insightful.  I really encourage you to dive into the list when you’re done reading.  There will be a couple “frying pan to the face” moments with at least two questions you read.  That’s what we’re looking for!

I ask three questions to myself and my wife frequently to evaluate who we are,  where we are, and where we’re going.  Life moves fast, and believe it or not people and goals change over the years.  Use these three question to reset your course, or provide better direction along your journey.

Three Powerful Questions For a Lifetime of Fulfillment:

  1. What are my world-class talents? (can’t have more than three) – WHO AM I?
  2. What achievements make me really happy, fulfilled, or satisfied? – WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING?
  3. What do I really want from life? – WHY?

The questions aren’t the hard part.  It’s the brutal honesty required in the answers and actions that sets believers apart from achievers.  Side note, if you really want a ton of money to buy expensive clothes and drive a Ferrari, be honest.  Do NOT lie about who you are or what you want.  It will either slow you down immensely or set you back.  Be honest and own it.

“Change the questions you ask yourself and change the direction of your life” – Tony Robbins

ACTION ITEM:  For me the art of asking the right questions is an acquired skill.  Skills are developed over time.  Personally I feel I’m a few levels away from my black belt in asking the right questions so I continue to practice.  Every day I try and change the angle of a conversation with a  better question.  Think first, then ask and don’t forget to listen.

The Investment Category You’re Likely Missing

timeless-investing

Stocks. Bonds. Gold. Mutual Funds.

The topic of money is a really polarizing conversation.  When you see the word “investing” in the title, you typically associate it with ROI, rates of return, and diversification of portfolios.

Have you ever asked, I wonder how much money he has?  Or, I wonder how he makes all of his money?  That’s what investing is all about right?

Remember when Owen Wilson’s flamboyant character in Meet the Parents said, “How’s your portfolio?”  Ben Stiller’s awkward and out of place character squeamishly responded, “I’d say strong….to quite strong!”

Meet The Parents

Meet the Parents

While I believe heavily in the value of being educated on the topic of money and what it can do for you, I think focusing solely on mutual fund categories and stock options will only get you so far.   If you start making a little money, and investing a little money, and never find a way to add momentum to your strategy, your only game plan is a beans-and-rice discipline for the next 50 years.  Sound fun?  HELL NO. 

The biggest investment category people are missing out on is themselves.  What is your true market value and what are you doing to increase it?  What knowledge are you gaining today to warrant a higher price tag tomorrow?  What skills are you learning from those who have “been there, done that” to better your position? What challenges are you taking on to stretch your comfort level and capabilities?

If you’re thinking I’m only referring to post graduate education and a mountain of MBA debt, I’m going to disappoint you.  We can debate the value of the average MBA at a later date.  What I’m referring to is a daily discipline or activity to grow your mind.  What are you doing to challenge your thinking?  How are you investing in yourself?

Instead of investing only money, consider how you’re investing your time.

It really bothers me that at the ripe age of 18, a naive teenager can choose to go thousands (maybe tens of thousands of dollars) in debt chasing a career they’re uncertain of, but a slightly accomplished professional thinks twice about investing $500-$1,000 in themselves to digest literature, audiobooks, or an online course to better their skills?

You don’t have to be enrolled in a college to learn something.  You have to make a choice and pursue that choice with piss and vinegar.

Someone much smarter than me said, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”  I liken complacency and stagnation to dying because today’s economy doesn’t allow for status quo.

I believe the list of items below are small (some even free) investments you can use to get a bigger return from your talents.  Invest the time, and increase your value.

  • Podcasts: There are many free and terrific podcasts out there.  Here is a link to a few of my favorites – One Podcast A Day Keeps Mediocrity Away. Free. Free. Free.
  • Blogs: How much are you paying to read this?  There is so much great info available.  Just have your BS detector up!
  • YouTube: If you can navigate the cat videos, there are hundreds of hours of free teaching online at your fingertips.  Your price tag = focus!
  • Audiobooks: These are likely not free, but you do have the freedom of movement (traveling, exercising, even cleaning) to consume them on your schedule.  I love audiobooks because I’ll listen to them over and over.
  • Books: Yes, people still read books.  Try getting lost in a mind-bending book.  I just read Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, and I think I’ll read it again soon.  It’s that transformational.
  • Mentors: Do you have a mentor?  If not, don’t call someone and say, “Will you be my mentor?”  Anyone in their right mind will say no.  You’re begging.  But, you could reach out and offer to buy them a cup of coffee and invest in the relationship, instead of just trying to suck the knowledge out of their head like a brain surgery they didn’t sign up for.

 ACTION ITEM: Keep learning.  Keep pursuing new and challenging ideas.  Keep growing.

Live Through the Windshield, Not the Rearview Mirror

Screen Shot 2014-12-14 at 2.27.15 PM

I love talk radio.

Colin-Cowherd

Colin Cowherd – ESPN Radio Host

Specifically, really good, polarizing, entertaining, talk radio.  My favorite radio personalities are those who excel at making an interesting argument.  I was listening to the December 12th podcast from “The Herd“, Colin Cowherd’s national daily radio show, and he was talking about the recent job openings in college football and how the landscape has evolved over the last decade.  Then he said this,

“You have to live your life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.”

I immediately hit pause on the broadcast and sat back in my chair.  Did I hear what I thought I heard?  I quickly pressed the rewind button and went back into the podcast.  I listened again and it was exactly what I heard.  I scrambled for a pen to make sure I could transcribe the words knowing it would be my next post.

After sitting and reflecting for a while, I realized just how much of an epidemic it is in our country to live life in the rearview mirror.  Do me a favor. Take two minutes and think about the past.  What came up?

  • Bad Decisions
  • Business Failures
  • Regrets
  • Relationship Failures
  • Maybe even BIG Accomplishments (although most thinking is directed at the negative)

“The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different.” ~ Peter Drucker

Why is it that after hundreds of failures, someone can be successful?  On the other hand, why is it that after being so successful, great companies (or football programs) come to a screeching halt?

It’s easy to see great companies (and football programs in Colin’s reference) get hung up on what they accomplished in the last 10, 20, even 50 years.  Sorry Michigan football fans, this is you.  This is also what happened to the American auto industry in the 80’s and 90’s. Their trophy rooms are full of hardware outlining numerous feats and accomplishments.  But, none of them are recent.  They’ve gotten fat and happy, and spent too much time admiring the rearview mirror.

Conversely, how can a life filled with failure, do the exact opposite and produce success?  I believe the person makes a decision to live life through the view of the windshield.  All that matters is what is in front of them, and how can they best apply their passion, knowledge and hustle to achieve their goal.  Sure they’ve failed.  Who hasn’t?  They chose to use failure as a learning experience, and not as a scar for eternal pain and suffering.

My rearview mirror: I have many accomplishments. I’ve made many mistakes. I have regrets.

My windshield: I have an amazing list of opportunities and big goals in front of me.  Watch what happens next!

ACTION ITEM: I’m working every day to live my life through the view of the windshield.  Constantly pushing forward, while learning from what’s in my rearview mirror.

Career Advice From My Four-Month-Old

Career Advice from Landon

Career Advice From My Son

A little over a week ago, my son turned four months old.  It’s crazy to think how fast time goes by.  I spend my evenings wondering how my wife and I could be so lucky to have him in our lives.  We stare for hours on end at this little gift and marvel at his ability to keep us occupied with little to no effort.

I got to thinking about what he’s already taught me in his short time here on this earth.  I came up with four career tips from my son I think we can all learn from.  We really can learn a lot from kids!

What can a four-month-old teach you?

  1. Scream When You are Hungry.  Landon doesn’t fuss often, but when he does, it is because he’s hungry and he’s going to let you know what he wants.  How does this relate?  I guarantee you’re hungry for something right now in your life or career, but you haven’t screamed to let anyone know it.  Although I don’t know if “screaming” will get you the desired outcome you’re looking for, I know my son knows how to get what he wants and he does it through communicating.  Try it.  You may be surprised what you can get after you tell someone it’s important to you.
  2. Sleep When You are Tired.  This one is pretty simple, but I believe it is often overlooked in a society that’s focused on “grinding” or busting ass for endless hours.  Get some rest.  You’re more pleasant to be around and your brain will operate at much higher levels.  Working until exhaustion will not win you a badge of honor.  Sleep when you are tired.  Take a nap if need be.
  3. Smile Easily and Often.  Children have the easiest of smiles.  They’re not jaded.  They’re not overwhelmed with stress and fear.  They just smile with a sort of big soul quality about them.  I think there is a lot to be admired by this quality.  Take a deep breath, smile for what you’re thankful for, and be more mindful of what really makes you happy.
  4. Playfulness Wins Attention.  Who gets the attention?  The grouch, or the charismatic, energy-enthused, young at heart person you know?  Children don’t even understand this because they wouldn’t spend their time any other way throughout the day.  They laugh, play, and are thrilled to learn new things and take on new challenges.  Do they have jobs and bills to pay?  No.  But is that all that’s really keeping you from being yourself and enjoying your craft? I doubt it.

Action Item: Take note of the four words below.

Scream. Sleep. Smile. Play.

Two of My Favorite Questions for Leaders

The more I read, the more I learn about the highest achievers asking better questions than the rest of their peers.  So I continued to think about my favorite questions to ask, and I had to share with the group as these two questions have helped my career a great deal.

Question 1 – What does success look like?

Here are the reasons I love this question:

  1. It gets to the root of what your client is really looking to achieve.  Be specific.  How much? By when? What will you feel like when you get there?
  2. If you don’t know what success is, how on Earth can you come back in the future to discuss other ventures?
  3. I’ll admit, sometimes my version of success didn’t align with my client’s version.  Here’s a tip – their version is more important. 
  4. Understanding what success looks like may open up other opportunities to your relationship.
  5. Case studies sell.  Understanding what success is will help you with the before and after story for your case study.
  6. Success can be losing weight, hitting a revenue target, reducing production time, or growing market share.  Whatever it is can provide a strong point of focus for an entire team.  When the entire team knows what success is, there is a much higher likelihood of achievement.

Lastly, here are a couple versions of how I would ask this question:

  • If we were to partner up on “said agreement”, can you please tell me what success looks like three months down the road?
  • What does success look like for someone in your shoes?
  • Six months down the road, tell me what a successful partnership looks like in your eyes?

Question 2 – What more can I do for you?

Here are the reasons I love this question:

  1. Asking it with sincerity means you care.  If you care, your chances for winning go up exponentially and your relationship will thrive.
  2. It shows you’re not just a hired gun.  Don’t get me wrong, doing your job/task is super important.  Asking what more can be done is CRUSHING IT with your client.
  3. If you were a personal trainer and asked this question, it means you believe in your client outside of your 45-60 minute paid sessions.  It means you’ll be there for them for the long run.
  4. In the example above, I asked you to be specific.  In this example, I recommend being generic.  Don’t lead the witness to their problems or challenges.  Sometimes there could be a great deal of fear involved.  Let them tell you.  Respect and empathy will be earned by listening genuinely.
  5. Ask those you work with.  Note, I didn’t say “work for you.” Chances are they make your life better.  What can you do to make their lives better?

There is only one recommendation I can think of in regard to this question.  Do it frequently and do it with sincerity.

While reading Tony Robbin’s Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!, I came upon chapter 8.  Very telling for this post.  By the way, if you’re looking for a book to crush in 2015, the principles Tony teaches WILL help you.

Questions Are The Answer

Questions are the Answer

ACTION ITEM: I’d love it if you started using these two questions to your benefit this week.  I’d place a sizable bet, you’ll be encountered with the opportunity to ask one or both of these in the very near future.  Make the most of it!

When Do You Figure It All Out?

When do you have it figured out?

When do you have it figured out?

When I was younger, I’d meet business professionals and business owners and I’d ask myself, “I wonder when they figured it all out?” I found myself wanting to know what they knew.  When did it click?

I paid very close attention to their success (or perceived success in my mind) and wondered exactly how they got where they were and if the path was repeatable.  What did they do?  Who did they know?  What books did they read?  How did they choose to spend their time?

Now looking back on my foolish and much younger self, I found the answer to the question.

When do you figure it all out?

Never.

The answers is never!  You never have it truly figured out.  Those that say they do are either completely satisfied with everything they’ve ever achieved, or they’re naive to the competition lurking in the weeds waiting to snatch up their precious market share because they’re still hungry.

The more I spend time with other high achievers, the more I learn about their quest to learn more and to deliver a better solution, no matter their craft.  What also stood out to me is the overwhelming number of people who say they didn’t have all the answers when they began.  They really didn’t have any answers, but they started and they learned.

Their lives are filled with the same fears and lack of understanding mine is, but they attack the fear. They take a chance and understand the worst that can happen is they start over.  Following the likes of Grant Cardone and Tony Robbins has taught me many things.  First off, they successfully attack opportunities with massive action.

Massive, determined action

Massive, determined action

Secondly, they successfully embrace the culture of continued learning and new challenges.  They thrive in uncertainty and most are ok with failing as long as they learn something in the process.

Contrast this with the average or mediocre (I hope every time you hear these words your body shakes with disdain).  Challenges cause the mediocre pain, fear, and drive the person to quit.  They live in the comfortable middle where the only challenge that exists is figuring out what label to put on their boredom.  These people have it figured out!

Are you trying to figure it out today for yourself?

Wonderful.  My advice to you is to stop figuring and simply START.  Start your path in a direction and see where it takes you, but 100% don’t be afraid of the ninth step when you haven’t taken the first.

 

Start

Start Today. Not Tomorrow

ACTION ITEM: The more you start, the more comfortable you will be operating in the unknown and uncertain waters of achievement.  Start.  Start today and stop trying to figure it out!

Earthquakes, Magnitude and Success

Screen Shot 2014-11-23 at 11.51.17 AM

Earthquakes, Magnitude and Success

 

Do you know how much more violent a 4.0 earthquake is compared to a 5.0 earthquake?  What about a 7.0?

It may seem, simply by looking at the numbers, that a 4.0 quake would produce a similar but slightly less devastating result than a 5.0 quake.  However, this isn’t anywhere near the truth.

As measured with a seismometer, an earthquake that registers 5.0 on the Richter Scale has a shaking amplitude 10 times that of an earthquake that registered 4.0, and thus corresponds to a release of energy 31.6 times that released by the lesser earthquake.

The number of earthquakes registering 2.5 – 5.4 is estimated to be 30,000 annually.  Conversely, the number of 5.5 – 6.0 quakes drops to just 500 per year.  That’s less than 2% of the lesser magnitude in scale.

Why is this important to my readers?

Because I see a powerful relationship between mediocrity and 30,000 quakes per year.  No one really ever feels the efforts of these actions (or earthquakes), because the magnitude of the efforts are weakly measurable at best.  Check out the image below to associate a visual to what I’m discussing.

tmp4A-1_thumb[1]

I ask myself, “How many daily activities would I label as: Not felt, Minor, Small, or even Moderate in magnitude?”

Even better follow up, what are my expectations for the outcomes of these activities?  I’m guessing they don’t match.  Maybe the image and corresponding labels below will help better paint the picture.  I love pictures and colors so this one really hits home.

magnitude

The reason I chose to write about this topic and how it collides with success is because I was listening to Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk.  He talks passionately about cashing in on your talents and passions by getting all-in on a topic and executing fearlessly.  His well-pronounced goal is to own the NY Jets.  Not a small goal, and definitely one where massive action and focused energy will need to be invested over a long period of time to achieve it.

The magnitude of our outcomes (and success) is closely related to the investment we’re willing to make.

If I’m not willing to invest a great deal of effort and energy into a project, business or idea, then my results WILL BE (100%) limited to the bottom end of the magnitude scale.  Many goals, multiplied by little effort, eat up massive amounts of your time and energy for minimal outcomes.

However, lets consider the highest magnitude.  Who are those individuals experiencing massive success?  They are labeled in the chart above as “Outstanding” or “Extraordinary.”  What do they have in common and how do they spend their time?  Also, notice there are substantially fewer of these super successful people in volume when compared to the mediocre many.  Probably less than 1% of the population.

I don’t think this can be understated.  Little goals, limited effort, and the minor impact outcome are related.  No one feels a minor quake, and 30,000+ happen every year!

ACTION ITEM: I’m personally doing an audit and taking a look at the aspects of my life in which I feel like I’m creating a very minimal impact.  The next choice I must make is to either eliminate the activity or refocus and rededicate my efforts.  Not all efforts deserve the same attention and energy.  I hope this audit will also serve you well.

Losers React, Winners Anticipate

Screen Shot 2014-11-13 at 9.11.24 PM

Tony Robbins – zackeeney.com

Which one are you?

This extremely powerful advice was shared by the one and only Tony Robbins.  I just heard this on the Tim Ferris Show Podcast and had to dive into more detail.  My addictive personality is really tuned into Tony right now and I loved the simplicity and realness in this statement.

Losers react, winners anticipate.

Maybe we don’t want to be called a loser (who does), so lets put this into a different context I’ve written about before.  Very simple question.

Do things happen to you, or because of you?

There is a great deal of shared value in the bolded statement and question above.  But, instead of casting a shadow of name calling and labeling, lets look deeper into each action and see how it makes you feel.  Better yet, lets paint a real world scenario for us to live and accurately depict two sides of the same story.  What this does to a person emotionally is very eye opening.

THE STORY – You have a client.  A client with high expectations of your work and your results.  You have an upcoming meeting scheduled with the client in 48 hours.  Both of you are aware of the date, time and location. How does this scenario play out with losers and winners?

LOSER (Reacts):

  1. Lacks preparation and insight (knowledge)
  2. Spends no time looking for solutions and ideas prior to the meeting
  3. Your relationship resembles more of a punching bag than a resource
  4. You leave with tons of work to do because you showed up with zero plans
  5. Never asks the questions: How can we provide more? How can we do better?
  6. Likely all of this is the client’s fault, certainly it can’t be you. This client can’t be pleased!
  7. The client controls the entire agenda (you have zero control)
  8. No matter what, you can’t get what you want out of the relationship
  9. How do I get all the bad clients?

WINNER (Anticipates):

  1. Prepares for multiple angles and directions the meeting can go
  2. Delivers fresh new ideas to the client without their asking
  3. The client places a great deal of value and trust in your relationship
  4. You leave with a plan and likely some (if not most) of the work already done
  5. Asks the questions: What more can we be providing? How else can we help you?
  6. The winner frequently demands more of himself and those around him
  7. You call the client, with a plan (and a great deal of control)
  8. Get what you want on your terms
  9. Loves the challenge and opportunity the client presents and can’t wait for the next opportunity

 Now the million dollar question. How did each scenario make you feel?

The loser feels like a weak-minded loser.  A weak, unenergized, unorganized, negative person.  To me, it is exhausting and draining just reading through the scenario.  IT SUCKS!  But yet we see it every day.

Contrast this with the feelings of reading about the optimistic winner.  An energized, enthusiastic, go-getter and nothing can stand in his way.  He creates his own luck.  This is invigorating.  My eyebrows lift in excitement as I was making my way through the list.  This guy is BADASS!

ACTION ITEM: Anticipating can be a learned skill.  The only investment needed to obtain this skill is focused time and energy.  If you can think about it, you can anticipate it and create it.

Quotation-Vince-Lombardi-Jr--losing-winning-sports-habit-Meetville-Quotes-203885

Counting Your Currency

There are two types of currency being traded in our lives.

MONEY

Cheddar, coin, dough, green, cash, Benjamin’s.  Pretty obvious right?.  I spent the first decade of my career working to accumulate this currency.  I counted it, I helped make it, created it, I saved it and every day I search to find better ways to invest it and grow it for my family’s future.
I don’t think money is a bad thing or the pursuit of money is a bad thing.  I think money is a great tool and every day I learn it is actually more of a resource.  Have I been greedy in pursuit of money?  Maybe?  When I was younger money was a way to keep score and I’m an achiever.  I like to see the scoreboard.  Today I still like to make money, I just frame it as a tool/resource to open up more doors and experiences in my life.  However, money alone will not bring happiness, but if I can choose between being poor and happy and financially comfortable and happy I’ll choose the latter.
Any ideas on the second type of currency you traded today?
Any guesses?

TIME

Time is the most valuable currency we own and the crazy thing is we each get the same amount to use every single day.  I’m sure you’ve heard this, so I won’t belabor the point.  Actually I will, I would like to drive it home like an ice pick into the icy side of a frozen mountain pass.
Everything changed for me on July 30th 2014.  This was the day my son was born.  I’ve learned so much in the three months since then I can’t even believe it took me this long to understand it.  Today everything revolves around the question, “What is the best use of every second of my time?”  Where can I get the most time with my son?  Where can I get the most time with my wife and family?  How can I maximize my time to spend with cherished friends?

Where can I invest my best strengths and talents to generate the biggest return for everyone involved?  Everything I think about now revolves around time investment and return.  This is much different than simple bottom line return (scoreboard & money).

What I encourage you to do is think about the relationship of money, freedom, and time in your life.  Have you earned enough money to have the freedom should you choose to exercise it RIGHT NOW?  Can you leave what you are doing this very second to be with your family if needed or pursue another opportunity?  Can you take that vacation you’ve been talking about to create a lifetime of memories?  If not, it’s time to start thinking about how your currency is being spent or find ways to make more money today to get closer to freedom.

Whatever you choose, don’t be a cheapskate.  No one likes a cheapskate!

Your resources(time and money) are in constant competition for your willpower and your goals.  I’m asking you to consider more “experiences” instead of things.  I’m asking you to save a little now for the overwhelming pleasure to pursue freedom if you choose later.

The iconic Steve Jobs says it perfectly.

Steve Jobs - Experiences Quote

Steve Jobs – Experiences Quote

ACTION ITEM: If you’re not happy with the track you life is on I’ll ask you to evaluate to simple resources.  How are you spending/wasting money?  How are you investing/wasting time?

 

 

Use The “F Word” More Frequently

 The word is FEAR

fearswide-620x349

As a society, we’ve let our fears pile up inside of our brains and multiply like a germ in a petri dish.  The more we let the fear live inside our heads, the more momentum it builds.  Momentum can be extremely beneficial or devastatingly punishing.  The less we challenge our fears, the stronger they become.  Fear is the antithesis of a muscle.  The less you challenge it, the stronger it gets every single day.

I NEVER want to post as a hypocrite, so I’m going to tell you a list of the recent fears I’ve tackled.  Each of these fears caused noticeable challenge and changes needing to be made to my life.  With each fear, I’ll provide some background.  I want you to know everyone has fears.  Not everyone will put them out in the open.

  1. Stomach Disease – A few years back, I was diagnosed with a stomach disease (Ulcerative Colitis) and it was extremely challenging for a while knowing when nature would call (i.e. I went to the bathroom a lot!).  To say this changed my life would be an understatement.  This caused me to be worried any time I went anywhere for more than 20-30 minutes.  Well I obviously traveled frequently for work, so this was NOT an easy task.  The bigger worry was the potential embarrassment I may encounter should the worst possible scenario happen while traveling with co-workers.  I was terrified about this frequently and until I finally told others of my situation, I felt like I was hiding potential doom every day.
  2. Cancer & Tobacco – My addictive personality and chewing tobacco made for a beautiful relationship (totally joking, but true).  I thought when I went in to get my stomach issues looked at I was going to be told I had cancer.  I mean after all, I’d earned it with the frequency of tobacco placed between my lip and gum.  Thankfully, this was not the case and all the reason to stop the habit immediately.  FEAR in this case won for the positive.  What wasn’t easy was kicking the habit.  Eventually I got there with the help of my wife and great friends, but I was literally afraid to quit at the start.  Sounds stupid (I know), but true.
  3. Parenthood – My wife and I planned to start a family soon after we got married.  This was a little over five years ago.  After a few years of it not happening, we thought it may never happen.  This fear wore on us.  It beat us down every time someone asked, “Why don’t you guys have kids?”  We didn’t have the heart to tell them we’d been trying, yet we did have the anger building up to stare right through them.  I truly believe it started to get better when we told others of our challenge and found many others like us struggling with the same issue.  For those that know us, we’re now the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy named Landon.  I think we turned the corner when our fears and anxiety met the light of day and openness of conversation with cherished friends.
  4. Complacency – This may seem extremely odd compared to the previous (and definitely more serious) elements of fear listed above, but it is real.  I’m terrified I don’t do enough.  I don’t take enough calculated risks and go bigger, faster, harder than I’m currently doing.  I fear someone else is putting in more effort and could be getting a step ahead of where I stand today.  For some reason, I believe this is the fear of growing older and not looking back with regret.  I can’t stand the feeling or thought of regret.

Why do I tell you all of this?

Because fears have a much tougher time living in your head and gaining momentum when they’re introduced to oxygen and the world.  I don’t know this to be 100% true, but tell me the number of times you’ve heard of someone, only one person, in the ENTIRE WORLD facing a challenge?  It doesn’t happen too often!

This is the exact reason we have to get our fears out.  Share them.  Write them down.  Talk about them with those you trust.  Fears do not stand a chance when they are introduced to: oxygen, friendship, and action.  The reason is pretty ridiculous and simple.  Fears grow with stagnation.  You have to do what author Jon Acuff suggests when he says, “Punch fear in the face!”

Fears are CRUSHED when challenged.

ACTION ITEM: I want to you put one of your fears out in the open.  If you’re comfortable with it, I’d really love to see a list of fears fill the comments section of this post.  The tribe will be there to support you.  I promise.  Get comfortable in attack mode.