Category Archives: Habits

Losers React, Winners Anticipate

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Tony Robbins – zackeeney.com

Which one are you?

This extremely powerful advice was shared by the one and only Tony Robbins.  I just heard this on the Tim Ferris Show Podcast and had to dive into more detail.  My addictive personality is really tuned into Tony right now and I loved the simplicity and realness in this statement.

Losers react, winners anticipate.

Maybe we don’t want to be called a loser (who does), so lets put this into a different context I’ve written about before.  Very simple question.

Do things happen to you, or because of you?

There is a great deal of shared value in the bolded statement and question above.  But, instead of casting a shadow of name calling and labeling, lets look deeper into each action and see how it makes you feel.  Better yet, lets paint a real world scenario for us to live and accurately depict two sides of the same story.  What this does to a person emotionally is very eye opening.

THE STORY – You have a client.  A client with high expectations of your work and your results.  You have an upcoming meeting scheduled with the client in 48 hours.  Both of you are aware of the date, time and location. How does this scenario play out with losers and winners?

LOSER (Reacts):

  1. Lacks preparation and insight (knowledge)
  2. Spends no time looking for solutions and ideas prior to the meeting
  3. Your relationship resembles more of a punching bag than a resource
  4. You leave with tons of work to do because you showed up with zero plans
  5. Never asks the questions: How can we provide more? How can we do better?
  6. Likely all of this is the client’s fault, certainly it can’t be you. This client can’t be pleased!
  7. The client controls the entire agenda (you have zero control)
  8. No matter what, you can’t get what you want out of the relationship
  9. How do I get all the bad clients?

WINNER (Anticipates):

  1. Prepares for multiple angles and directions the meeting can go
  2. Delivers fresh new ideas to the client without their asking
  3. The client places a great deal of value and trust in your relationship
  4. You leave with a plan and likely some (if not most) of the work already done
  5. Asks the questions: What more can we be providing? How else can we help you?
  6. The winner frequently demands more of himself and those around him
  7. You call the client, with a plan (and a great deal of control)
  8. Get what you want on your terms
  9. Loves the challenge and opportunity the client presents and can’t wait for the next opportunity

 Now the million dollar question. How did each scenario make you feel?

The loser feels like a weak-minded loser.  A weak, unenergized, unorganized, negative person.  To me, it is exhausting and draining just reading through the scenario.  IT SUCKS!  But yet we see it every day.

Contrast this with the feelings of reading about the optimistic winner.  An energized, enthusiastic, go-getter and nothing can stand in his way.  He creates his own luck.  This is invigorating.  My eyebrows lift in excitement as I was making my way through the list.  This guy is BADASS!

ACTION ITEM: Anticipating can be a learned skill.  The only investment needed to obtain this skill is focused time and energy.  If you can think about it, you can anticipate it and create it.

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Counting Your Currency

There are two types of currency being traded in our lives.

MONEY

Cheddar, coin, dough, green, cash, Benjamin’s.  Pretty obvious right?.  I spent the first decade of my career working to accumulate this currency.  I counted it, I helped make it, created it, I saved it and every day I search to find better ways to invest it and grow it for my family’s future.
I don’t think money is a bad thing or the pursuit of money is a bad thing.  I think money is a great tool and every day I learn it is actually more of a resource.  Have I been greedy in pursuit of money?  Maybe?  When I was younger money was a way to keep score and I’m an achiever.  I like to see the scoreboard.  Today I still like to make money, I just frame it as a tool/resource to open up more doors and experiences in my life.  However, money alone will not bring happiness, but if I can choose between being poor and happy and financially comfortable and happy I’ll choose the latter.
Any ideas on the second type of currency you traded today?
Any guesses?

TIME

Time is the most valuable currency we own and the crazy thing is we each get the same amount to use every single day.  I’m sure you’ve heard this, so I won’t belabor the point.  Actually I will, I would like to drive it home like an ice pick into the icy side of a frozen mountain pass.
Everything changed for me on July 30th 2014.  This was the day my son was born.  I’ve learned so much in the three months since then I can’t even believe it took me this long to understand it.  Today everything revolves around the question, “What is the best use of every second of my time?”  Where can I get the most time with my son?  Where can I get the most time with my wife and family?  How can I maximize my time to spend with cherished friends?

Where can I invest my best strengths and talents to generate the biggest return for everyone involved?  Everything I think about now revolves around time investment and return.  This is much different than simple bottom line return (scoreboard & money).

What I encourage you to do is think about the relationship of money, freedom, and time in your life.  Have you earned enough money to have the freedom should you choose to exercise it RIGHT NOW?  Can you leave what you are doing this very second to be with your family if needed or pursue another opportunity?  Can you take that vacation you’ve been talking about to create a lifetime of memories?  If not, it’s time to start thinking about how your currency is being spent or find ways to make more money today to get closer to freedom.

Whatever you choose, don’t be a cheapskate.  No one likes a cheapskate!

Your resources(time and money) are in constant competition for your willpower and your goals.  I’m asking you to consider more “experiences” instead of things.  I’m asking you to save a little now for the overwhelming pleasure to pursue freedom if you choose later.

The iconic Steve Jobs says it perfectly.

Steve Jobs - Experiences Quote

Steve Jobs – Experiences Quote

ACTION ITEM: If you’re not happy with the track you life is on I’ll ask you to evaluate to simple resources.  How are you spending/wasting money?  How are you investing/wasting time?

 

 

Use The “F Word” More Frequently

 The word is FEAR

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As a society, we’ve let our fears pile up inside of our brains and multiply like a germ in a petri dish.  The more we let the fear live inside our heads, the more momentum it builds.  Momentum can be extremely beneficial or devastatingly punishing.  The less we challenge our fears, the stronger they become.  Fear is the antithesis of a muscle.  The less you challenge it, the stronger it gets every single day.

I NEVER want to post as a hypocrite, so I’m going to tell you a list of the recent fears I’ve tackled.  Each of these fears caused noticeable challenge and changes needing to be made to my life.  With each fear, I’ll provide some background.  I want you to know everyone has fears.  Not everyone will put them out in the open.

  1. Stomach Disease – A few years back, I was diagnosed with a stomach disease (Ulcerative Colitis) and it was extremely challenging for a while knowing when nature would call (i.e. I went to the bathroom a lot!).  To say this changed my life would be an understatement.  This caused me to be worried any time I went anywhere for more than 20-30 minutes.  Well I obviously traveled frequently for work, so this was NOT an easy task.  The bigger worry was the potential embarrassment I may encounter should the worst possible scenario happen while traveling with co-workers.  I was terrified about this frequently and until I finally told others of my situation, I felt like I was hiding potential doom every day.
  2. Cancer & Tobacco – My addictive personality and chewing tobacco made for a beautiful relationship (totally joking, but true).  I thought when I went in to get my stomach issues looked at I was going to be told I had cancer.  I mean after all, I’d earned it with the frequency of tobacco placed between my lip and gum.  Thankfully, this was not the case and all the reason to stop the habit immediately.  FEAR in this case won for the positive.  What wasn’t easy was kicking the habit.  Eventually I got there with the help of my wife and great friends, but I was literally afraid to quit at the start.  Sounds stupid (I know), but true.
  3. Parenthood – My wife and I planned to start a family soon after we got married.  This was a little over five years ago.  After a few years of it not happening, we thought it may never happen.  This fear wore on us.  It beat us down every time someone asked, “Why don’t you guys have kids?”  We didn’t have the heart to tell them we’d been trying, yet we did have the anger building up to stare right through them.  I truly believe it started to get better when we told others of our challenge and found many others like us struggling with the same issue.  For those that know us, we’re now the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy named Landon.  I think we turned the corner when our fears and anxiety met the light of day and openness of conversation with cherished friends.
  4. Complacency – This may seem extremely odd compared to the previous (and definitely more serious) elements of fear listed above, but it is real.  I’m terrified I don’t do enough.  I don’t take enough calculated risks and go bigger, faster, harder than I’m currently doing.  I fear someone else is putting in more effort and could be getting a step ahead of where I stand today.  For some reason, I believe this is the fear of growing older and not looking back with regret.  I can’t stand the feeling or thought of regret.

Why do I tell you all of this?

Because fears have a much tougher time living in your head and gaining momentum when they’re introduced to oxygen and the world.  I don’t know this to be 100% true, but tell me the number of times you’ve heard of someone, only one person, in the ENTIRE WORLD facing a challenge?  It doesn’t happen too often!

This is the exact reason we have to get our fears out.  Share them.  Write them down.  Talk about them with those you trust.  Fears do not stand a chance when they are introduced to: oxygen, friendship, and action.  The reason is pretty ridiculous and simple.  Fears grow with stagnation.  You have to do what author Jon Acuff suggests when he says, “Punch fear in the face!”

Fears are CRUSHED when challenged.

ACTION ITEM: I want to you put one of your fears out in the open.  If you’re comfortable with it, I’d really love to see a list of fears fill the comments section of this post.  The tribe will be there to support you.  I promise.  Get comfortable in attack mode.

Give Give Give Strategy

I’m in the idea business.

giving-hands

The marketing world revolves around fresh ideas.  Success oftentimes follows the BIG idea or the breakthrough strategy delivering results for the client.  But that’s not all success follows.

I’m also in the business of: sales, sales training, education, mentorship, motivation, knowledge sharing, pastry delivery, ticket broker and anything relating to the next level of success or happiness for my clients.  If I’m truly committed to my clients’ successes, marketing can’t be the ONLY discipline worth sharing.

This is the give, give, give strategy.

Give more feedback, give a motivational video link, give more opportunities for growth, give more resources or knowledge so the client can benefit.   A word of warning to the greedy and self-centered.  This will not make you one penny directly today, but the indirect income I’ve earned over the years from this strategy is enormous.

There are three things every client on the face of the earth thinks before hiring you.  You must receive a resounding YES to all three to win.

  1. Do I like you?
  2. Do I trust you?
  3. Do I believe my money is best spent with you and your team?

One simple “No” response to any of these questions earns you the “We went another direction” email or phone call.  (THIS SUCKS)

Trust and relationships are forged over time and I believe that by giving all you have to offer, all your talents, all your knowledge and abilities, there stands the biggest room for success not only in the business, but in the relationship.  If you find yourself stuck in any client relationship I advise you to give more.  Then give more again.  It can’t go unnoticed or unappreciated.  History taught me great returns are earned from investing (Giving) a large amount upfront.

ACTION ITEM: Who can you give more to today?  If it’s not a client, make it a family member or friend in need.  Don’t give to expect something in return.  Do it because your passion demands it.

The Soundtrack for a Great Career

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This post was spurred buy the recent release of Gatorade’s wonderful tribute ad to Derek Jeter.  If you haven’t seen it, please watch it below.

http://youtu.be/xfgS1lvqX8I

The ad stood out to me immediately because the soundtrack of the execution is one of my favorite songs of all time, “My Way,” and easily my favorite Sinatra song.  More, much more than this, it reminded me of what I like to refer to as, the soundtrack of my career.  I pulled a couple key lines from every verse to truly emphasize the deep impact of this song.

 Verse 1 – Set the Stage

“I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full”

Verse 2 – Looking Back

“Regrets, I’ve had a few,
But then again, too few to mention”

Verse 3 – Facing Adversity

“But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out”

Verse 4 – No Regrets

“I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried,
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing”

 Verse 5 – My Way (entire verse)

“For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught,
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels,
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!”

Here is a link to the complete “My Way” Lyrics

The reason I listen to this song often is to make sure I’m staying true to myself and my own personal soundtrack.  I believe many people spend far too much time living the life others set out for us.  I really don’t care what you do or what your pursuit is, just make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process.

Let this song be a reminder to be respectful, but also true to yourself and what you believe

 

ACTION ITEM: There is a famous quote I’ll share with you as I believe it relates to what Frank is saying to us all.

“If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs”

 

5 Simple Ways to Have an Exceptional Day

Everyone reading this wants to have an exceptional day, but today, this very day, how will you go about doing it?  Or better yet, you’re thinking about the day you will have tomorrow.  How will it be great?

thedifferencebetweenaverageandexceptional

Use these five tips to have an exceptional day

  1. Ask for help – Everyone is taking on a challenge at this very moment.   Providing solutions to this challenge is invigorating.  Collaboration is even more energizing.  Don’t take on the world’s problems by yourself.  State your case and ask for help.  Chances are a solution is waiting for you just around the corner you weren’t willing to peek around.
  2. Go out of your way to thank someone – If you’d like to feel more great, make someone else feel great.  The best way to do this in my opinion is unexpected thankfulness.  Putting a smile on someone else’s face will put a smile on your own.
  3. Say I love you – If this seems so simple, why is it so damn hard to do?  Seriously.  How often do we get to the point of saying, I never really told that person how I really feel.  I don’t care if it is long overdue for your: Mom, Dad, sibling, or coworker.  Let them know.
  4. Apologize – I heard a word about a week ago and it felt terrible.  The word was, “resentment” and it is a heavy word.  Emotionally we can’t afford to carry around these boulders.  The drain they cause on you and I is too costly to measure.  Say you’re sorry.
  5. Sell Something – That’s right!  Sell an idea, a client, a passion, a thought process, your new shoe style, hairdo, just sell something.  Selling is in everyone and every thing.  Do not tell me you can’t sell anything.  You’re selling me on what you can’t do.  Selling makes the world go round and it involves passion.  When you sell, you ignite your passion and you win.  Nothing feels much better than winning.  Get out and win.

ACTION ITEM: Please keep this post handy for when you need a tune up.  I’d also really appreciate it if you’d share with those you care about and care about you.  We all can have a better day tomorrow.

 

 

20 Minutes of Silence Changed My Life

Late in 2013 I had a life-altering experience.

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I tried mediation for the first time.  First, I’d like to tell you exactly why I did it.

  • I was stressed out
  • Anxious/nervous frequently
  • I couldn’t shut my mind off at night to sleep
  • I couldn’t get a good night sleep
  • I felt worn down and tired
  • I wasn’t thinking as quickly and clearly as I needed to be
  • I clearly wasn’t being myself

If you’re feeling any of these currently, and want to change your life I believe meditation is the solution.  I’m now going to tell you exactly how I do it, as my process is a bit of a hybrid of what you may read elsewhere.

7 Keen Steps to Meditation

  1. Get Alone – I retreat down to my basement to a room that functions as my office from time to time.  The floor is carpeted and extremely comfy.  I close the door and begin my process.
  2. Shut Off The World – The only thing I take with me is my phone (which may sound counterproductive)  but it is turned to airplane mode so I can receive no calls or texts.
  3. Close Your Eyes – This will be challenging for some.  It was extremely challenging for me in the beginning.  The goal is to keep my eyes closed for the entire 20 minutes of meditation.
  4. Turn On the Noise – I use an app called Relax Melodies.  You can find it on the App Store for iPhone.  I turn on the sounds of: the ocean, a piano, a fire, etc.  It varies a little from time to time.  I’d also like to note I wear headphones at the time to tune out any other sound.  This helps me get a tremendous amount of focus and I set a timer for 20 or 25 minutes.
  5. Breathe – After reading a great deal about mediation this is something I crafted slightly on my own.  I start every setting with my legs crossed in standard meditation position.  I breathe in as much as I possibly can through my nose, until my lungs and stomach feel completely full.  I then slowly release the breath through pursed lips (like you would exhale through a straw) and count.  I try to get the count to 20 or 30 with each breath.
  6. Stretch – This is my unique rendition.  As I breathe I added in a stretching routine.  I did some basic research on the most beneficial stress relieving stretches.  A great deal of my routine involves loosening up my hamstrings, neck and back (where I carry my stress).
  7. Positive Talk/Prayer – I also use my 20 minutes of alone time to be thankful and reinforce my thoughts with positive talk.  This too is a unique wrinkle I’ve added to my routine.  It may or may not be for you.  I believe the more my mind is reinforced, the better performance I can expect from my own abilities.

So, how would I have described mediation before I started: weird, hippy, liberal, tree-hugger, yoga pants, eastern practice, etc.  But, after seeing Russell Simmons thoughts on mediation, and knowing Phil Jackson is a student of the practice I had to give it a try.  They seem to be pretty successful (insane understatement)!

Russell Simmons via Twitter (@UncleRUSH)

Russell Simmons via Twitter (@UncleRUSH)

ACTION ITEM: I hope you at least give mediation a try.  My life is measurably better because I adopted this ancient practice and I believe yours can be too.

 

 

 

 

 

Labor Day Advice from Sir Francis Drake

A day of rest is a wonderful time for reflection.

I came across this quote while reading a financial planning book last week and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I think I’ve read it 10x since.  I couldn’t think of a better day than today to share it.  Enjoy the day off, but never settle.

Sir Francis Drake circa 1596

Sir Francis Drake

Disturb us O Lord when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little, when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us O Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess we have lost our thirst for the waters of life: having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity.  And in our efforts to build a new earth, we have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us O Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture to wider seas where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push us in the future in strength, courage, hope and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ.

–Sir Francis Drake’s prayer before he set out to be the first man to circumnavigate the world.  Portsmouth, England 1577.

I’m no sailer, but I am the captain of my ship for this one and only voyage.  I will keep this prayer with me for the remainder of my working days as a reminder to never get too comfortable.

ACTION ITEM: Share this thought with someone you care about who you know could be achieving more.  This could be just the piece of motivation they need.

Be Brief. Be Brilliant. Be Gone.

Brilliant Planning

Be Brief. Be Brilliant. Be Gone.

This is something I learned from a colleague about seven or eight years ago and I’ll never forget it.  I had to share it with the tribe as I believe in my soul it will help you.

I want you to think back to your last client meeting, big project presentation, or conference call.  What was the first thing to go completely haywire?

I’m not even going to guess, I’m going to tell you it was everyone’s collective attention span.  It’s the reason I’ve learned to keep my blog posts to around 400 words or less.  People don’t have the focus to remain engaged for a duration much longer than this.

Be Brief. Be Brilliant. Be Gone.

There is genius in these words.  Today’s supercharged social economy has us glued to our smart phones alerting us with: snaps, score alerts, texts, insta-awesome photos, and god forbid email.

Here’s how I think this will help you in your career.  Your clients and teammates are busy.  Real busy.  This must be understood and respected.

Ways to be more brief:

  1. Show up with a plan.  A really well thought out plan with execution as the focus.
  2. Get to the point.
  3. Use powerful visuals to represent your story/case/value proposition. People believe what they see and not what they hear(I believe this with all of my heart).
  4. Solve a problem.  Have a clear understanding of the challenge at hand.

Ways to be more brilliant:

  1. Rehearse.
  2. Deliver your story with more passion (by rehearsing).
  3. Hold the team and work to very high standards.  Don’t show up with average.
  4. See your pitch from the client eyes first.  Where would they find fault in your offering?
  5. Show you care.

Lastly, be gone:

  1. Give them something to say yes, or possibly more importantly “NO” to.
  2. Ask for immediate feedback.
  3. Don’t linger.  Move along.

Be Brief.  Be Brilliant.  Be Gone. With more wins in your pocket!

ACTION ITEM: Please consider these tips for your next client meeting and/or pitch.  Your client or team is begging you to do this, but maybe they haven’t told you yet.

Pull the Trigger I Dare You

We the people are a reflection of our habits.  Good habits and bad habits.  This quote should come as no surprise then.

Success Trigger

Success Trigger

The human brain isn’t exactly a VCR (if you’re old enough to know what this is), but it can be programmed almost exactly the same way.  So how can you accomplish this?

The answer is in your triggers.

What is a trigger?  Psychology defines it as, “A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.”  Triggers drive our habits and these habits run our lives.

How do I know?  I had a nasty tobacco habit for a few years, and it amplified as I introduced the habit to additional triggers.  I chewed tobacco when I had a long drive.  Then it became: when I golfed, mowed the lawn, read a book, etc.  Many of my activities throughout the day were impacted by the habit.  When the activity began, my brain triggered the need for nicotine and oral fixation.  I found out my biggest challenge when kicking the habit was preparing my mind for the guaranteed trigger reaction.  Conquer this and the habit would disappear, and it did.

I learned the same energy and focus could be applied to adding positive triggers to my life instead of only removing the negative.  I use these triggers to refuel my brain with: positivity, new insights, challenging viewpoints, and more positivity.  If you’re wondering why I listed positivity twice, it’s because there is so much damn negativity around I have to fight it off with twice the effort.

The mediums I utilize once the trigger is activated are:

  • YouTube Videos
  • Motivational Quotes
  • Podcasts
  • Audiobooks
  • Success blogs
  • Encouraging emails from clients
  • Cards from friends

The key is to understand your triggers and then insert a positive habit to reinforce the activity.  We’re creatures of habit and we have hundreds of them.  It shouldn’t be hard to find a time or activity to insert some positive mental training into your day.

ACTION ITEM: The time to start wiring your brain for positivity is today.  Science tells us it takes 21 days to create a habit.  If this is true, and you start today you will be a refreshed individual in three weeks time.  Make the choice to implement a new habit, you already have the triggers in place.