Category Archives: Habits

The Most Overlooked Leadership Skill

Here is a list I found from Forbes titled, “Top 10 Qualities that Make a Great Leader“.  Pretty good list.  However, I truly believe there is a gapping hole in this list.  What powerful leadership skill is being overlooked?

I think it’s an extremely simple skill and maybe that is exactly why it is overlooked and often difficult to master.

The skill: Vulnerability Screen-shot-2012-08-09-at-9.21.01-AM

As most of you have already jumped to a conclusion on my addition, I’m going to ask you to pump the brakes for a definition of vulnerable.

vul·ner·a·ble: susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. (Of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect.

There is some very powerful language used in this definition.  Here are a few impactful words that really stand out to me.

  • Susceptible
  • Attack
  • Harm
  • Support
  • Risk

Immediately this doesn’t feel right.  It feels to me like a “vulnerable” leader is a weak leader.  Not exactly the skill set pouring out of leadership books for the last 20 years.  However, is the world different today than it was 20 years ago?

Team members and successful organizations today want to have something to believe in.  More to the point, they want to work with someone they can TRUST.  There are many ways to earn trust, but I think one way is to open up and show your true colors.  Possibly even more important, showcase you don’t know everything and have made mistakes.

Transparency is a word I’m not terribly fond of currently because of its massive overuse in political jockeying.  But, transparency is a reality of being vulnerable.

The vulnerable leader understands better than most their strengths, and the biggest time saver of all, their weaknesses.  The vulnerable leader knows what they don’t know.  The vulnerable leader has struggles (as we all do) in life and isn’t afraid to let others in to see the real person battling these struggles.  The vulnerable leader is a servant leader.

Contrast this with the old school leaders we learned about growing up.  The leaders who pushed with an iron fist, strong will, and an indestructible armor of confidence.

The reason the vulnerable leader will continue to gain traction and transcend board rooms is simple.  There are far too many choices today to work for the selfish leader.  Business success is about having great relationships.  How many great relationships are you in today where the cornerstone of trust was laid with vulnerability?

ACTION ITEMS: It’s okay to let others in and let them see the real you.  I can promise you, it’s far more rewarding than obsessing over the maintenance of perfection.

Based on Your Newsfeed, Life Sucks

This title should make each of us pause for a moment and reflect. bitsoftruth24 Read it again.  How does it make you feel?  Does it sound like something that could come out of my mouth? (I hope not).  But, how does it make you feel?

  • Gross
  • Inadequate
  • Lame
  • Shallow
  • Boring
  • Angry
  • Paranoid

Not positive feelings!  Why then do so many of us think this way about our lives when we’re viewing social media status updates and posts? Let’s dive in a little deeper as to exactly why these feelings come about in the short list below.

  1. Friends/Followers – Be honest.  Of the people you call friends or follow socially, how many of them do you have a truly “meaningful” relationship with?  Why are so many comparisons of my life to yours made every day?  Why is it that because I can see your newsfeed, you’re instantly a measuring stick to my life?
  2. Stuff Posts – I bought stuff I really didn’t need, but you wished you had.  That makes me awesome and you wanting to be awesome with my newly purchased stuff.  Don’t take into account the question if I could even afford it, or if it was a wise financial decision?  Just know I have it and you don’t.
  3. Experience Posts – I’m in Hawaii, the Virgin Islands, in Aspen Skiing, at an expensive restaurant, and you only dream of visiting or experiencing these places.  How could life be so good?

I’m going to get in the front of the line here.   I’m guilty of thinking ALL OF THE ABOVE! I’ve said it in previous posts and I’ll say it again.  Social media is a great tool for communication (huge understatement) and has totally reinvented the definition of “conversation” in the future.  It allows us to stay in contact with people and potentially even connect with individuals through new channels.

However, social media a HORRIBLE measure of the happiness, success, struggles, and meaningful relationships in our lives.  Social media is an extremely dangerous thermometer, yet most reading this post use it to take the temperature of our lives on a daily basis. It’s human nature to compare, but this comparison can’t come to the point of leading an unfulfilling or unhappy life.  “Keeping up with the Joneses” paranoia will set in and this is a race you or I will NEVER win.  You can’t, because you’re not the one running it.  You will always be in second place playing keep up.  It’s exhausting. I know people running this race.  Do you?

ACTION ITEM:

  1. Set your own goals and pursue them aggressively with passion.  For you, not for anyone else.
  2. Put the phone down.  Instagram will stay in business while you’re enjoying the company of your closest friends.
  3. Don’t forget to smile.  When I take a moment to count my blessings (and there are many), the paranoia subsides instantly.
  4. Your life doesn’t suck!

Why Am I Wearing Handcuffs

I’d like to introduce you to a pair of handcuffs.

Handcuffs = Mental Restraints

Handcuffs = Mental Restraints

Many of us wear them, but you won’t see them in plain sight.  Others are burdened by the immense weight of many pairs of handcuffs, but you won’t see them either.  With all this said, where am I possibly looking to find all these handcuffs?

They exist in the simple statements listed below:

  • I’m too qualified to do this
  • I’m too short
  • I’m too out of shape
  • I’m too new to the team
  • I’m too dumb to learn a new skill
  • I’m too new to the marketplace
  • I’m too upset
  • I’m too afraid to be challenged
  • I’m too depressed
  • I’m too emotional
  • I’m too young
  • I’m too broke
  • I’m too DAMN SCARED!

You see where I’m going with this?

Each of these statements are uttered by millions of people every day and in doing such, they might as well put on a pair of handcuffs for every one of them.  I know I’ve said them.  I’m sure you have too.

After listening to hundreds of podcasts on leadership and entrepreneurship there is a very common thread the very successful follow.

They DO NOT let others dictate their path to success or allow thoughts of “I’m too…” to cloud their thinking or progress.  They go for it and are unapologetic about their quest.

ACTION ITEM: It is almost as certain as the sunrise tomorrow; an “I’m too…” thought will invade your brain and the powerful work you’re masterminding.  My process to immediately counteract this is to:

  1. Embrace the Feeling
  2. Challenge It 
  3. Take Action Against It

 

Failure is a Debt Needing to Be Paid

No matter your viewpoint on debt, there is one universal truth.

DEBTS MUST BE PAID!

One of my favorite and most repeated lines from the movie Rounders is from the character Teddy KGB.  The Russian mobster says, “Pay him, that man his money.”  Here is the YouTube video.

So how is failure a debt waiting to be paid?  

  • If you have zero debts (failures), you’re taking ZERO chances.
  • Most debts we’re accustomed to are due monthly.  Failure isn’t a one time occurrence.
  • Some debt is good.  It means you own something.  Failure means you’ve taken ownership in your future and learning from experiences.
  • Debts don’t last forever, neither does failure.
  • Failures are investments in your future.  Just like paying down debt.

Debt Reduction and Failure Production

Dave Ramsey is a widely popular financial author, speaker, and radio host.  Dave has a very simple formula for paying down debt with the ultimate goal of living “debt free” as his followers scream on his radio show.  The key to his formula is what Dave calls “The Debt Snowball.”  This could really be summed up as momentum.  Start with small debts and begin paying them off as fast as possible.  With each debt you conquer you gain momentum and habits are formed.

Habits.

Anyone ever tried creating a failure habit?  Seems almost counter-productive.  What if instead you were interested in the behavior of not being fearful of failure.  This the debt needing to be paid.

The #1 fear I have with growing people is mediocrity.  When a person achieves a small amount of success there is the opportunity to throttle back and settle.  Mediocrity sets in and growth comes to a screeching halt.  Instead consider the alternative.   The debt of potential failure coming due.

Now the achiever has a different outlook on the future.  They continue to challenge, push others, and push themselves.  Does it always work out?  Of course not.  But the learning doesn’t stop either!

ACTION ITEM:  The Debt is due for you this month just as it is for me.

Life’s a %itch

That’s right folks.  Life’s a PITCH!

The-Pitch-Pic

Wait, not what you were expecting?  No time for negativity here.  In each of our lives, we’re going to rely on our PITCH to get things done and get what we want.  Everyone has something to sell, some are just more committed to it than others. Imagine what’s being sold right now, this very moment by various professions throughout the world:

  • The College Coach – Selling a top recruit on their school, their style, and the athlete’s eduction (maybe).
  • The Non-Profit – Leaders are out selling their ideas and asking for donations to make the world a better place.
  • The Teacher – Looking to get more resources for his/her classroom to enrich the learning experience for his/her students.
  • The Interviewee – At some point, you will be looking for that dream job.  The only way to get it is sell yourself against the steep competition.

And the list goes on…

Knowing this fact of life, I’ve provided a list of five elements that help me deliver a better pitch and get more of what I want.

  1. The Buyer’s Side – Here’s a simple statement.  Over 50% of presentations are lost immediately because there is no understanding of the buyer’s side of the proposal.  Where did I get that number?  If you only understand your half, you can’t possibly win the other 50%.  Get to know and understand your buyer’s thoughts, feelings and emotions.
  2. Rehearse – Over and over again.  A coach would never expect an athlete to perform at a high level with zero practice.  How do you expect your idea to be bought without rehearsing it?  Couple tips here.  Record it so you can play it back to yourself for feedback.   Secondly, practice it again.  You can only benefit from the repetition.
  3. Storytelling – If you’re following my work, you know my love affair with storytelling.  I believe the ability to tell a great story will separate the good from the great pitch.  This ties directly into the first point.  Understanding the pains and hardship of our buyer will help you draft the perfect story.
  4. Visuals – If at all possible, make the story easy to understand.  We’re blasted with more and more messages every day.  Our job is to make the story simple, easy to understand, and not require a semester’s worth of research to buy-in.  Visuals will help you accomplish this task.  Think of when you were a kid and participated in Show and Tell.  Doesn’t quite have the ring to it if there is nothing to show and we only TELL.
  5. ASK – Every pitch needs to come with an ask.  Selling yourself, a product, a service, or anything is only talking unless you ask the other side for commitment.  If you’re preparing to pitch, prepare to ask.

Use these tips to your benefit the next time you have something to pitch.  If these tips help you get more of what you want, it would mean a great deal to me if you’d share this post with others.

ACTION ITEM: Pitch, Pitch, Pitch, and PITCH your ideas!  No one ever won them all, but you’re guaranteed to fail if you never try.

Choking with Fear

Some of the biggest leaps I’ve experienced personally or professionally are directly related to fear.  Tell me you know that feeling…

choking-291x300

Your face is becoming flush from the fire hose of blood rushing to your head,

your lips and mouth become desert dry,

your fingers become cold and lifeless,

your throat feels like you’re trying to swallow an entire loaf of bread,

a chill runs down your spine,

you tremble,

your voice cracks,

fear and the situation are taking over complete control of your entire body and you’re helpless.  Something must change.  You think to yourself, how the hell can I possibly get out of this scenario RIGHT NOW?  What are you to do?

Here is the answer you weren’t looking for.  CHOKE THE FEAR BACK.  Don’t run.  Choke it back!

I recommend grabbing your fear around the neck with a kung fu grip and choke the life out of it.  Stare with steely eyes into your fear and let it know you’re not going anywhere.  Grit your teeth and squeeze as tight as you can.  You’ve got things to do and a life to live.  You could liken this experiment to an out of body experience.

I do realize all of this is easier said than done.  After submitting your fear to the floor like an accomplished ultimate fighter, you may feel exhausted.  But give it some time.  The feelings of complete exhaustion will subside and adrenaline will invade your bloodstream.

THIS FEELS GREAT!

I struggle with fear every week of the year.  But I must tell you, with every conquest it just keeps getting easier.  The more we learn to live in uncomfortable surroundings, the more dangerous we become.

My personal goal is to become lethal with a unconditional confidence in disagreeable surroundings.

Here is a fear I work on every day.  A few years back, I was diagnosed with a stomach disease causing frequent and immediate bathroom breaks from time to time (no more detail needed).  This consistent anxiousness led me to being slightly afraid of eating with a group of people because I didn’t want to embarrass myself.  Bigger challenge, I’m in the people business.  I meet people, hundreds of people every year over breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinks.  Conferences and board rooms are where I get down.  The silver lining with my fear is I have no choice but to attack it and work through it.

I leave you with this quote from someone slightly more accomplished than me.  “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live,” Dorothy Thompson.

ACTION ITEM: Start small.  The saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, plays well here.  Focus and tackle one fear at time.  Build your confidence and momentum by stringing together victories.

 

I Need You to Lead This Week

Screen Shot 2014-04-13 at 9.45.20 AM

I’m not your boss and I hope I never will be. Much bigger plans are in your future. However, this is what your boss is thinking.  I promise you.

Everyone around you is thinking this, but no one will say it.  I’m saying it to you now.

I NEED YOU TO LEAD THIS WEEK!

Here is a list of people in your life thinking this:

  1. Your spouse
  2. Your team at work (especially the quiet ones)
  3. Your boss, management team, or ownership
  4. The little league team you coach
  5. Your neighbor
  6. The charity you volunteer for
  7. Your friends

There it is.  I said it, now what will you do about it?

ACTION ITEM: This one’s up to you…

 

Closing the Say-Do Gap Will Change Your Life

The Say-Do Gap

The Say-Do Gap

I’d like to start this post off with a heavy helping of humble pie.  Here is a small list of things I said I was going to do, but haven’t yet accomplished or followed through on in 2014.

  1. Completing 36,000 push-ups (100 per day).  Truth be told I’m at about 2,000 (20 per day).
  2. Volunteering more to a charity (count = 0).
  3. Launching a supplemental income strategy.

Ouch!  I learned one thing from this exercise.  Writing these things down brings a world of reality to the things I “said” I was going to do in 2014.  Good news is the year isn’t over yet.  Plenty of time for more “doing” in the upcoming months.  That’s not to say I haven’t accomplished anything this year either.  I have, but I don’t think listing them is going to provide you any value.

If you’re like me, you’ve got to be wondering, how do I “do” more and close the gap?  To get to the root of the issue in closing the say-do gap, I’ve included a list of items that help me personally. The great news is I really believe the more you do, the more doing momentum you create.

  1. Write it down.  The power of the written word is well documented.
  2. 20 mile march.  In Jim Collins book, Great by Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, he references the 20 mile march.  Effectively this related to companies willing to make the march every day.  20 miles.  Not 10, then 100, but 20 miles every single day.  This screams DISCIPLINE.
  3. Honesty mirror.  Do what I’ve done and conduct a fair self-evaluation.  Don’t beat yourself up, but be honest.
  4. Share accountability.  In today’s society, this is easier than ever.  Make your do-list or goal public.  I’ve seen people use social media to lose a great deal of weight and keep it off.  Why?  Basic human behavior.  We’re terrified of not reaching our goals once made public.  On the other side of it, we LOVE the positive feedback we receive when others believe in our struggles.
  5. Help someone else.  This is also in our DNA.  Helping others makes us feel good.  It also gives us the motivation we need to make the next move on our path
  6. Take the next step.  Not a leap, or jump, or risk, just the next step.  An object in motion tends to stay in motion. ~ Sir Isaac Newton

This blog is the result of me closing the say-do gap.  Plans were written down, ideas were scribbled, and I studied many blogs before I launched A Keen Mind.  What go me started?  Me.  I wrote the first post.  Starting this and seeing massive progress in other areas of my career changed my personal and professional life.  I know it can do the same for you.

ACTION ITEM: One thing that fails me is having a too many items on my DO LIST.  It plagues me with a lack of focused energy.  Use the six tips above to start closing the say-do gap for your list.  Keep the list short and start achieving.  Momentum will soon take over and then…WATCH OUT!

 

3 Keys to Being Intentional

Chris Hogan is the wildly popular host of Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership podcast.  I was listening last week and he said something that really resonated with me and I thought would be of great value to this audience.  (I included a link to the EntreLeadership podcast at the end of this post)

Chris said, “A person must choose to be intentional with their actions.”  WOW.  What an extremely power-packed quote.

There are a couple points of this powerful sentence I’d like to dissect in greater detail.

1 – Choice.  We’ve all heard about the power we wake up with every morning.  The power to choose.  We can choose our attitudes, our friends, and our future, if we have the right mindset.  Or conversely, we can let others choose for us.  The world and time can pass us by and we’ll be waiting on the sideline watching.  Every one of us has the power.  The difficulty lies in activation.

2 – Intentional.  I feel the most powerful relationship to this is purpose.  Another great word to insert would be deliberate.  We can be intentional with everything in our lives if we choose.  I think this is one people struggle with a great deal because intention is deeply rooted in having a plan.  I know I can be more strategic in my thinking and it doesn’t have to be about work.  I need to be more intentional with my dear friends and family.  I need to be focused on helping them achieve their goals and aspirations.  I need to be intentional about listening more and continuing to learn.

3. Actions.  I don’t believe for a second Chris’ quote ended in the word “actions” by chance.  After all, Chris works with intention.  The last word of his quote provides the energy needed for most of us to move.  Lets reflect back to the top of the list.  Choice, we all have this power.  It then isn’t a question of if, but when?  Next we focus on intention and having a purpose.  What is your purpose and do you have a game plan?  Without action the first two elements of this post are ideas in a notebook.  They’re a sketch on a bar napkin or that idea stashed away in your email.  Actions separate the average from the elite.  Action will bring your closer to your goals.

“A person must choose to be intentional with their actions.”

ACTION ITEM: Start being more intentional with something small, but take action.  Have a greater purpose or goal in mind and be intentional on your path to achievement.  The velocity of reaching your target will greatly increase.

Lastly, here’s a link to listen to the EntreLeadership Podcast.

The Most Difficult Leadership Question. Why?

I just finished listening to a wonderful audio book by Todd G. Gongwer titled, “Lead…for God’s Sake.”

It was recommended by a friend I work with.  Little did I know I’d spend the better part of the weekend listening to the parable and consuming all the book had to offer.

The parable itself was extremely moving, but as I often do I immediately started relating it to other topics I recently consumed.  Before we continue, you must watch the content below.  It’s a TED talk by Simon Sinek.  The consistencies of the two pieces of content are palpable and instantly triggered me to transcribe this post.

Ask yourself this.  Why are some coaches more successful than others?  The rules of the game don’t change when a select coach is on the sideline.  Yet some coaches amass hundreds of wins, and others struggle to get buy-in and likely lose.  Losing leads to finding a new profession.  In the parable, the main character was a head basketball coach struggling to accomplish his goals.  “His” selfish goals.

Simon says (no pun intended), “People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it.”  He repeats more passionately, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it!”

In the book, “Lead…for God’s Sake”, a high school student challenges the historically successful coach with a powerful and life-changing question.  She asked politely, “Coach, WHY do you do what you do?”  Surprisingly, the wise old coach couldn’t answer.  He didn’t know the WHY, he only knew the what.  The “what” equalled winning games in his life.  It’s what he did.  Not WHY.  However, his current situation involved losing more games than winning.

I go further.  Listen to Simon’s story about the Wright Brothers and their competitor who was seeking only riches and fame (what).  The Wright Brothers had an unwavering belief and limited resources.  But they understood and embraced their WHY.  Who will forever be remembered for first taking flight?

The last thought I’ll leave you with is Mr. Sinek’s final thought.  “There are leaders and there are those who LEAD,”  says Simon.  He goes on to say, “Those who LEAD inspire us!”  The book and this TED talk give zero leadership value to position and power.  Inspiration doesn’t come with a promotion and it will never follow a title.  It lives within the WHY.

Pick up a copy of “Lead…for God’s Sake” and see how high school janitor Joe Taylor (fictional character) truly leads others from a seemingly inconsequential role.

ACTION ITEM: If you can’t tell me or those close to you the WHY in your life, please pause and reflect.  Find your WHY and be prepared to unlock all the riches life has to offer.  These riches will be in the form of more happiness, experiences, and relationships.