Category Archives: Habits

Choking with Fear

Some of the biggest leaps I’ve experienced personally or professionally are directly related to fear.  Tell me you know that feeling…

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Your face is becoming flush from the fire hose of blood rushing to your head,

your lips and mouth become desert dry,

your fingers become cold and lifeless,

your throat feels like you’re trying to swallow an entire loaf of bread,

a chill runs down your spine,

you tremble,

your voice cracks,

fear and the situation are taking over complete control of your entire body and you’re helpless.  Something must change.  You think to yourself, how the hell can I possibly get out of this scenario RIGHT NOW?  What are you to do?

Here is the answer you weren’t looking for.  CHOKE THE FEAR BACK.  Don’t run.  Choke it back!

I recommend grabbing your fear around the neck with a kung fu grip and choke the life out of it.  Stare with steely eyes into your fear and let it know you’re not going anywhere.  Grit your teeth and squeeze as tight as you can.  You’ve got things to do and a life to live.  You could liken this experiment to an out of body experience.

I do realize all of this is easier said than done.  After submitting your fear to the floor like an accomplished ultimate fighter, you may feel exhausted.  But give it some time.  The feelings of complete exhaustion will subside and adrenaline will invade your bloodstream.

THIS FEELS GREAT!

I struggle with fear every week of the year.  But I must tell you, with every conquest it just keeps getting easier.  The more we learn to live in uncomfortable surroundings, the more dangerous we become.

My personal goal is to become lethal with a unconditional confidence in disagreeable surroundings.

Here is a fear I work on every day.  A few years back, I was diagnosed with a stomach disease causing frequent and immediate bathroom breaks from time to time (no more detail needed).  This consistent anxiousness led me to being slightly afraid of eating with a group of people because I didn’t want to embarrass myself.  Bigger challenge, I’m in the people business.  I meet people, hundreds of people every year over breakfast, lunch, dinner, and drinks.  Conferences and board rooms are where I get down.  The silver lining with my fear is I have no choice but to attack it and work through it.

I leave you with this quote from someone slightly more accomplished than me.  “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live,” Dorothy Thompson.

ACTION ITEM: Start small.  The saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, plays well here.  Focus and tackle one fear at time.  Build your confidence and momentum by stringing together victories.

 

I Need You to Lead This Week

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I’m not your boss and I hope I never will be. Much bigger plans are in your future. However, this is what your boss is thinking.  I promise you.

Everyone around you is thinking this, but no one will say it.  I’m saying it to you now.

I NEED YOU TO LEAD THIS WEEK!

Here is a list of people in your life thinking this:

  1. Your spouse
  2. Your team at work (especially the quiet ones)
  3. Your boss, management team, or ownership
  4. The little league team you coach
  5. Your neighbor
  6. The charity you volunteer for
  7. Your friends

There it is.  I said it, now what will you do about it?

ACTION ITEM: This one’s up to you…

 

Closing the Say-Do Gap Will Change Your Life

The Say-Do Gap

The Say-Do Gap

I’d like to start this post off with a heavy helping of humble pie.  Here is a small list of things I said I was going to do, but haven’t yet accomplished or followed through on in 2014.

  1. Completing 36,000 push-ups (100 per day).  Truth be told I’m at about 2,000 (20 per day).
  2. Volunteering more to a charity (count = 0).
  3. Launching a supplemental income strategy.

Ouch!  I learned one thing from this exercise.  Writing these things down brings a world of reality to the things I “said” I was going to do in 2014.  Good news is the year isn’t over yet.  Plenty of time for more “doing” in the upcoming months.  That’s not to say I haven’t accomplished anything this year either.  I have, but I don’t think listing them is going to provide you any value.

If you’re like me, you’ve got to be wondering, how do I “do” more and close the gap?  To get to the root of the issue in closing the say-do gap, I’ve included a list of items that help me personally. The great news is I really believe the more you do, the more doing momentum you create.

  1. Write it down.  The power of the written word is well documented.
  2. 20 mile march.  In Jim Collins book, Great by Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck–Why Some Thrive Despite Them All, he references the 20 mile march.  Effectively this related to companies willing to make the march every day.  20 miles.  Not 10, then 100, but 20 miles every single day.  This screams DISCIPLINE.
  3. Honesty mirror.  Do what I’ve done and conduct a fair self-evaluation.  Don’t beat yourself up, but be honest.
  4. Share accountability.  In today’s society, this is easier than ever.  Make your do-list or goal public.  I’ve seen people use social media to lose a great deal of weight and keep it off.  Why?  Basic human behavior.  We’re terrified of not reaching our goals once made public.  On the other side of it, we LOVE the positive feedback we receive when others believe in our struggles.
  5. Help someone else.  This is also in our DNA.  Helping others makes us feel good.  It also gives us the motivation we need to make the next move on our path
  6. Take the next step.  Not a leap, or jump, or risk, just the next step.  An object in motion tends to stay in motion. ~ Sir Isaac Newton

This blog is the result of me closing the say-do gap.  Plans were written down, ideas were scribbled, and I studied many blogs before I launched A Keen Mind.  What go me started?  Me.  I wrote the first post.  Starting this and seeing massive progress in other areas of my career changed my personal and professional life.  I know it can do the same for you.

ACTION ITEM: One thing that fails me is having a too many items on my DO LIST.  It plagues me with a lack of focused energy.  Use the six tips above to start closing the say-do gap for your list.  Keep the list short and start achieving.  Momentum will soon take over and then…WATCH OUT!

 

3 Keys to Being Intentional

Chris Hogan is the wildly popular host of Dave Ramsey’s EntreLeadership podcast.  I was listening last week and he said something that really resonated with me and I thought would be of great value to this audience.  (I included a link to the EntreLeadership podcast at the end of this post)

Chris said, “A person must choose to be intentional with their actions.”  WOW.  What an extremely power-packed quote.

There are a couple points of this powerful sentence I’d like to dissect in greater detail.

1 – Choice.  We’ve all heard about the power we wake up with every morning.  The power to choose.  We can choose our attitudes, our friends, and our future, if we have the right mindset.  Or conversely, we can let others choose for us.  The world and time can pass us by and we’ll be waiting on the sideline watching.  Every one of us has the power.  The difficulty lies in activation.

2 – Intentional.  I feel the most powerful relationship to this is purpose.  Another great word to insert would be deliberate.  We can be intentional with everything in our lives if we choose.  I think this is one people struggle with a great deal because intention is deeply rooted in having a plan.  I know I can be more strategic in my thinking and it doesn’t have to be about work.  I need to be more intentional with my dear friends and family.  I need to be focused on helping them achieve their goals and aspirations.  I need to be intentional about listening more and continuing to learn.

3. Actions.  I don’t believe for a second Chris’ quote ended in the word “actions” by chance.  After all, Chris works with intention.  The last word of his quote provides the energy needed for most of us to move.  Lets reflect back to the top of the list.  Choice, we all have this power.  It then isn’t a question of if, but when?  Next we focus on intention and having a purpose.  What is your purpose and do you have a game plan?  Without action the first two elements of this post are ideas in a notebook.  They’re a sketch on a bar napkin or that idea stashed away in your email.  Actions separate the average from the elite.  Action will bring your closer to your goals.

“A person must choose to be intentional with their actions.”

ACTION ITEM: Start being more intentional with something small, but take action.  Have a greater purpose or goal in mind and be intentional on your path to achievement.  The velocity of reaching your target will greatly increase.

Lastly, here’s a link to listen to the EntreLeadership Podcast.

The Most Difficult Leadership Question. Why?

I just finished listening to a wonderful audio book by Todd G. Gongwer titled, “Lead…for God’s Sake.”

It was recommended by a friend I work with.  Little did I know I’d spend the better part of the weekend listening to the parable and consuming all the book had to offer.

The parable itself was extremely moving, but as I often do I immediately started relating it to other topics I recently consumed.  Before we continue, you must watch the content below.  It’s a TED talk by Simon Sinek.  The consistencies of the two pieces of content are palpable and instantly triggered me to transcribe this post.

Ask yourself this.  Why are some coaches more successful than others?  The rules of the game don’t change when a select coach is on the sideline.  Yet some coaches amass hundreds of wins, and others struggle to get buy-in and likely lose.  Losing leads to finding a new profession.  In the parable, the main character was a head basketball coach struggling to accomplish his goals.  “His” selfish goals.

Simon says (no pun intended), “People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it.”  He repeats more passionately, “People don’t buy what you do, they buy WHY you do it!”

In the book, “Lead…for God’s Sake”, a high school student challenges the historically successful coach with a powerful and life-changing question.  She asked politely, “Coach, WHY do you do what you do?”  Surprisingly, the wise old coach couldn’t answer.  He didn’t know the WHY, he only knew the what.  The “what” equalled winning games in his life.  It’s what he did.  Not WHY.  However, his current situation involved losing more games than winning.

I go further.  Listen to Simon’s story about the Wright Brothers and their competitor who was seeking only riches and fame (what).  The Wright Brothers had an unwavering belief and limited resources.  But they understood and embraced their WHY.  Who will forever be remembered for first taking flight?

The last thought I’ll leave you with is Mr. Sinek’s final thought.  “There are leaders and there are those who LEAD,”  says Simon.  He goes on to say, “Those who LEAD inspire us!”  The book and this TED talk give zero leadership value to position and power.  Inspiration doesn’t come with a promotion and it will never follow a title.  It lives within the WHY.

Pick up a copy of “Lead…for God’s Sake” and see how high school janitor Joe Taylor (fictional character) truly leads others from a seemingly inconsequential role.

ACTION ITEM: If you can’t tell me or those close to you the WHY in your life, please pause and reflect.  Find your WHY and be prepared to unlock all the riches life has to offer.  These riches will be in the form of more happiness, experiences, and relationships.

 

We’re Waiting For You

I was listening to a podcast today by John Lee Dumas (Entrepreneur on Fire) and I heard something that sparked this post.  Coincidentally enough, I saw the following post from a friend on Instagram earlier this week and it couldn’t have been more perfect.  Here’s the post (thank you Maria)!

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The title of this post is, “We’re waiting for you.”  We’re waiting for you to take a chance and be the ENTIRE person you can be.  We’re waiting for you to take risks, challenge your thinking, and take the next step in your journey. 

The angst of the wait is simple.  Not one subscriber on this blog or relationship is going to tell you when you’re ready.  Nor will someone give you permission if that’s what you’re in search of.

It’s likely you’re ready to take the next step or make big moves, but you’re waiting for the horn to sound or flag to drop.

I hate to disappoint, but I’ve never seen the sign when it’s ok to start or embark on a new journey.  You just start.  There is no official starter with the gun shouting, “On your mark, set,…BANG!”

Every time you start, take another chance, or challenge conformity it gets a bit easier.  Soon, (as the image states it) “it becomes a habit.”  Habits are really hard to stop (I speak from experience).

What I will tell you is everyone around you is waiting for you to BE MORE.  They’re just not going to beat down your door and show you the path.  They’re just as human as you and I, and we’re working on our own journey.  Take responsibility for your future and give people the eye opening experience they’ve been waiting for.  Until then, we’re waiting for you.  We need you!

ACTION ITEM: In the near future choose the uncomfortable.  It will take work and it won’t be easy, but the accomplishment you’ll feel will release the endorphins needed to start your habit.  “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” – Lao-tzu

31 Things I Learned Turning 32

Yesterday (March 15) was my birthday.  Beware the Ides of March.  I took some time to reflect on the previous year and just where I’ve been. 31

The 31st year of my life was a really challenging and wonderful year.  Below is a list of 31 things I learned in the last 365 days.  I’ll also leave you with what I’m most looking forward to in the upcoming year.

1. Be myself – every day

2. Read more

3. Embrace fears – everyone is scared (Jay-Z)

4. Say “Thank You” more often

5. Ask more questions

6. Meditate often

7. Listen to more podcasts (most are FREE)

8. Help accomplish goals for others

9. Don’t take myself too seriously

10. Start more: projects, relationships and solutions

11. Launch a blog and share something great with the world (check!)

12. Waiting sucks – go now!

13. Buy a gift for an unsuspecting friend

14. Find a mentor or mentors

15. State your intentions clearly

16. Buy a drink for your friends

17. Don’t be the smartest guy in the room

18. Challenge yourself to get better every day

19. Goals are great, discipline is paramount

20. Get uncomfortable

21. Save a little for a rainy day

22. Eliminate average: thoughts, actions and people

23. Dress for success

24. Ask for help – no great thing was ever accomplished alone

25. The Masters (golf tournament) is a really magical place.  Thank you Juan for the tickets!

26. It’s okay to say NO

27. Tell a better story

28. Donating time can be more valuable than money

29. Take time to recharge

30. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer

31. The number of people who REALLY CARE is astounding.  Thank you to all of my friends!  I hope I can repay you.

Looking forward to year 32, I can tell you without reservation I’m most looking forward to being a dad.  Everyone tells me it’s a life changing event and I’m ready for the challenge.  Come August 2014, Beth and I will be welcoming another Keen Mind into the world.

ACTION ITEM: Take time to reflect on what you’ve learned in the last year.  I’d really love it if you’d share your thoughts in the comments below with our entire tribe.

 

Achievement Addiction Addressed

We’re a nation of addicts.  Uppers, downers, and achievement.  Yes, achievement.  I too struggle with this addiction.Screen Shot 2014-03-09 at 11.02.02 AM

This week I got to reading about achievement addiction throughout generation Y and millennials.  What struck me as very interesting is the way many of us attempt to measure ourselves and those around us with our stack of achievements.  I decided to compile a list of a few of those things I see every day.

1. Your College/University

2. College GPA

3. Where You Live (City, Zip Code, Neighborhood)

4. Your Home Size

5. Name Brand Anything/Stuff

6. The Car You Drive

Truth be told it’s really hard not to be addicted to achievement, especially in today’s world. I know I’m a happier version of myself when I’m “achieving” or accomplishing goals.  It feels good.  I’m definitely not going to tell you to underachieve.  Those words will never come out of my mouth.

What I started to learn wasn’t so much about the feeling, it was the pursuit of why the achievement is needed.  Why do I need to feel this way?  What am I chasing in order to fuel these false achievements?  Who (more importantly) do I feel the need to compare myself with?  This is the scariest one!

Keeping up with the Kardashians has never been more prominent than in today’s society.  What I realized I needed to work on was the the idea that the achievement won’t ever overestimate who I really am.

In a famous NFL rant, then Arizona Cardinals head coach Denny Green screamed, “They are who we thought they were!” Here’s the clip

Green was referring to the undefeated Chicago Bears after the Cardinals blew a late game lead and squandered the opportunity to send the Bears home with their 1st loss of the season.

The lesson, I am who you think I am.

I came across this post on LifeHack.org, Do You Have An Achievement Addiction.  The element that brought me to blogging about it on A Keen Mind blog was the following statement, “Addicted to achievement, we forget there is a huge difference between success at a task or goal and success as a person.”

Stuff.  Achieve, accumulate stuff, and sometime hopefully many years down the road after my eulogy a garage sale of grandiose scale will take place.  Thrifty shoppers from miles away will be able to buy my once treasured “achievements” for pennies on the dollar.

Conversely I like to think of achievement as a legacy.  What can be taught, shared, or left behind, so that many years or generations from now it may still impact others?  This is a true measure of success and achievement.  Did I make those around me better?  Was I successful in leaving a legacy of: positivity, challenging others to be their best, and a winning mindset?  These are achievements and what I’ll work to strive toward.

I can’t promise you I’ll stop buying things or working toward a newer home or automobile.  What I won’t do is allow these purchases to be the measure of my achievement.  PS – if a Ferrari is in my future, I’m not going to get out of its way!

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ACTION ITEM:  Live your life for all the achievements.  Not only the ones associated with a price tag.

 

Six Temptations of Good

This post is the result of a habit I created a few years back after I received a sheet of paper from a very successful client.  He told me all I needed to be successful was outlined in what he provided.  If I could focus on these elements every day, success would be sure to follow.

It was only one sheet of paper with copy on one side and six very simple temptations we each battle every single day.  The title of the document read, “When Good Isn’t Enough.” I had to share because it is the perfect piece of content for A Keen Mind.

1. Leaders stop working on themselves

2. Leaders stop thinking BIG

3. Leaders of successful organizations “lead from the front”

4. Leaders stop developing others

5. Leaders stop holding others accountable

6. Leaders abandon the basics.

Give this just a moment of thought.  There are hundreds of business and success books published every year.  I’ve probably read 100 of them and each creates separate buzz within the topic.  Yet when I get back to working on myself as leader I always come back to this simple and short list.

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Here is a snapshot of my hand written list transcribed on the inside of by BIG IDEA notebook.

ACTION ITEM: Keep this link and list handy.  Share it with others looking to conquer a good mindset.  Review it frequently and take action against the temptations of good and I promise you success will follow.

 

 

The Pastor and Paterno

Paterno 816_0I had to write this returning home from church today.

First off, I’m not going to “bible beat” you or stand on a pedestal and preach.  My flaws are far too long to list in one blog post.  If you want to go to church then go.  If you don’t, then stay at home.  What I’d like to share with you today however was a lesson in learning.

Oddly enough, it had nothing to do with the sermon.  I got to thinking about the role of a pastor in the church and the work of delivering a sermon every Sunday.  Every Sunday from the same book this pastor or one of his peers helps us try to learn and understand more from only one book.  The Bible.

Every lesson, every week, every day is devoted to the work from this one book.  How many of us have the patience or persistence to continue learning from one book the rest of our lives?  Maybe this is a little too deep, so as my mind was wandering I tried to relate it to something else.

Football.  Yes, football is like the church and a coach is the pastor.  Now I’ve gone completely nuts!

Not sure why, but I immediately thought of Joe Paterno.  Controversial figure in the last few years, but I found Joe was a great lesson in the devotion a pastor displays.  Joe coached football for five decades at Penn State.  One school, one game, one focus.  Sure the rules changed over the years, and the players changed, but he was still coaching football every day.

The most interesting takeaway I came up with is that in each of these two scenarios (the pastor and Paterno) each was devoted to not only their craft, but a lifetime of learning.  People change, what’s socially acceptable to preach about changes, technology is evolving us all, but their core teachings remain laser focused.  Every single day they were going to get a little better.  Every day they were going to learn something new about their team, their staff, or the game/mission they were teaching.

I look back at my career in marketing and advertising and I’ve invested 10+ years in the process.  Author Malcolm Gladwell says in his book Outliers: The Story of Success it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in a field of study.  I’ve included links here for you if you’re interested.  

Do the math, it’s 20 hours a week for 50 weeks a year for 10 years.  I believe I’ve put in this measure of time, but when looking at the pastor and Paterno there is so much more to be learned in the next 40,000 hours.

ACTION ITEM: My challenge like most of you reading this is to remain passionate about what I’m doing and to continue learning every day like the pastor and coach Paterno.  It takes two things to turn a lump of coal into a diamond.  Persistent pressure and time.