Category Archives: Habits

Get To vs. Have To

Last week’s adventure proved a very telling story when forming perspective.  I invite you to join along.

Get To vs. Have To

I Get to….

vs.

I Have to….

I headed to New York City last week on business.  A trip I’ve made many, many times.  I left Wednesday morning and as customary for any time I leave, there is a slight feeling of loneliness and abandonment (from my wife).  I hate it.  Every time.  I’m sure she wouldn’t believe me telling you this, but sometimes I selfishly feel like it’s harder on me.  At least she gets to be there with our son Landon.  Sorry honey.

I’m wishing I was there.  I’m missing putting my son to bed.  I’m remorseful of her doing all the work on her own.  None of this is easy, and deserves a hero’s thank you to my wife or any wife who has a similar challenge.

This is where I personally have to make a choice.  Put yourself in my shoes and tell me how this feels.  Same exact scenario: entirely different mindset.

I HAVE TO…

I HAVE TO go to New York.  I HAVE TO go there, to meet some people to hopefully advance our team’s opportunities and all along, I’m away from my family (which I love).  I HAVE TO deal with a day of travel there and a day of travel back.  The traffic is horrendous and it takes forever to get anywhere on time.  The people are usually less than pleasant.  I HAVE TO stay in a hotel where I know no one and try to find my way around this mega city.  I HAVE TO make these few days go fast. Who wants to deal with this?

Lets take a look at the other perspective.

I GET TO…

I GET TO got to New York City.  I GET TO go there to: meet terrific new people, work with Fortune 100 brands, try new and fabulous food, experience a vibrant city culture (albeit for a few days) and have a blast doing it.  I GET TO be at an exclusive Samsung event where I will be one of only a few hundred people to see their newest devices before they hit stores.  I GET TO be in New York City, the center of the media universe.  I GET TO scope out all the cool places I can take my wife this fall when we make the trip together.  Thanks to technology, I GET TO FaceTime my wife and son every night and at least for a few moments pretend I’m in the same room they are.  I GET TO make the most of this opportunity, because when I do, I know it will pay off.  Who wouldn’t want this?

You may be wondering, where did this come from?  The answer: Thomas Edison.

I heard this story a couple weeks ago while listening to a podcast.  One night while retiring home to his family the brilliant inventor was interrupted by an urgent guest banging at his door.  His factory and research lab was ablaze and couldn’t be stopped by fire departments in the surrounding 8 communities.  His inventions destroyed.  His life’s work in the factory would vanish in the form of smoke and ash.  What did Thomas do?  Would he panic?  Would he burst into tears because his life’s work was certainly destroyed?

He said the following,

Come along quickly kids.  You won’t ever see a fire like this again in your life!

The facts of the matter were as follows according to Mr. Edison.  The factory needed cleaning anyway.  There were numerous piles of scrap and debris that would no longer be a nuisance.  Furthermore, the fire was like no other fire ever witnessed.  The unique blend of chemicals and scientific compounds made for a six story inferno with some of the most lively colors a fire could ever produce.  He wasn’t going to stop the fire, why not make the most of it while it burned.

I GET TO vs. I HAVE TO

Working on your perspective and mindset is like bathing.  You don’t have to do it every day, but those around you sure appreciate it when you do.

ACTION ITEM: Next time you’re on the “Woe is me” train, consider your Get to vs. Have to mindset.  If you’re still stuck, imagine someone else who would desperately love to have the same opportunity.

 

 

Blog bonus: here are a few shots I took from the Samsung Unpacked Event in NYC

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JK Shin. President & CEO of Samsung

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Samsung unveils Galaxy S6 Edge+ & Note5

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Hands on device display

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Samsung Pay

Samsung Pay

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Samsung Note5 Up Close

Three Words Magnetic Teams Know

Three Words

I was having a conversation a week or two ago with a couple of friends about growing business, teams, and the challenges each presents.  We got to talking about how to specifically challenge team members to be great and having each member feeling fulfilled in their career path.  Two big challenges for everyone.  The goal is a team of magnets, pulling each closer together and growing in strength while working with one another.

A question was posed, “How can one person make this happen for 5, 10, 20+ people?  That’s a huge undertaking!”

My answer was three simple and short words.

“Give a shit!”

If a person truly wants to build a lasting team, they’ll give first.  If a person wants to complain about what they’re not getting from their team or team members, I will always challenge to look internally first.  Own up to what isn’t happening and start caring more.

If you’re thinking the answer is too blunt, it probably is.

The great owners, entrepreneurs, leaders, teammates, and coaches, who make great progress with their units, CARE unconditionally for their team.  They invest and don’t always worry about what they can get in return.  There is enough shared confidence in the unit to pay it forward.

Over the years I’ve seen many teams grow, and many die slow deaths with selfish leaders.  The teams who experienced tremendous success and growth looked after one another.  In one powerful instance, I saw a very close team pray together.  If you’ve ever seen this and stood admiring, it is quite a site!  Good work Tim & Corey!

In other successful instances, I’ve witnessed teams push one another toward a shared vision by pulling each other closer to the mission.  In each instance, the team had tremendous vitality and magnetism.  This vitality and magnetism crushes every challenge, competitor, and opportunity in its path.  To push through a challenge, pull the unit together.

In every instance, the successful gave a shit and limited selfish thoughts.

What does this look like in the business world working with cynical consumers everywhere? There is a story circulating the internet about Southwest Airlines.  Maybe you’ve seen it.  If not, it’s worth the read.  Plane has Already Left the Gate, Receives THIS News, Turns Back Immediately.  Someone at Southwest with a heart made the really simple choice to care.

I frequently listen to the audio book, Hyper Sales Growth by Jack Daly.  Jack tells a wonderful story about a time when he was much younger working in a supermarket.  He had an elderly woman shopping for a specific vegetable, and the supermarket was out of stock.  She asked young Jack, “Can you please help me find the fresh spinach?”  Jack’s response (knowing they were out of the leafy vegetable), “Of course, can you give me about 10 minutes and I’ll meet you at the checkout with the spinach?”

What did Jack do next?

He immediately took off to a competing supermarket.  Took money out of his own pocket, bought the spinach (2 bags just in case), and quickly made his way back to the supermarket to meet his patron at the checkout.  “Here is your fresh spinach Mrs.,” said Jack.  This one is on us.  Thank you for the continued support and patronage,” smiled young Jack ear to ear.  He knew he’d done the right thing.  His manager had taught him well.

Is there an ugly side to caring too much?

Of course there is.  Not everyone will care.  You will get your feelings hurt.  Move away from these people quickly and get them the hell away from your unified team.

Have you ever seen a good sports team go out and buy the newest high-dollar free agent on the market, hoping to be great with the addition?  What happens next?  The superstar wants to do it their way, and the culture suffers.  The team is actually worse off.  I’ve seen it too many times.  I’ve tried it.  It doesn’t work.

ACTION ITEM:  You can choose to be the asshole and get what you want…(for a while).  I hope you’re prepared to be hopelessly lonely.  Why not choose caring instead and build something that lasts?

Excuse Me While I Get Offensive

Time to Get Offensive

Offense vs. Defense

Some will immediately say, “Defense wins championships.”  Maybe.  But, I’ll argue truly great offense can’t be stopped.

My personality, my history, my focus, has always been offense.  Yes, this probably hurt me a little in my basketball career, but I’m wired for offense.  Score, score, score, and more, more, more.  It’s who I am. There is no hiding from who I am. Get buckets!

Play more offense

This is why I decided to make a move in my career at the end of 2014.  I needed to get back to playing offense.  I needed to be making more moves and taking a bit more risk. I needed the jolt of uncertainty, a new challenge, and eye-opening experiences of new relationships and new endeavors.

Tim Ferriss recently interviewed Chris Sacca on the Tim Ferriss Show Podcast. (Side note, Chris is a really REALLY interesting and smart dude.  Specifically I’d encourage parents to listen to how he was raised). Sorry, back to the story. I listened to the podcast on my flight back from New York City last week and loved what Chris had to say about two life changing decisions that set him on the wave he’s currently riding today.

Decision Number 1: He chose to get back on offense.  That’s what triggered this post.

Chris has an undergrad degree and law degree from Georgetown.  He spent time at Google in it’s early years, made millions, lost millions, went into debt, and is now worth an estimated $1.07 billion.  Just to clarify the $.07 billion is $70 million if you’re into that.

I have a friend who started the company MMOGM.  Make Moves or Get Moved.  The site says is beautifully.

It started as a slogan.

Turned into a motto.

Bottom line, it’s a lifestyle!

Boom!  Do you think that sounds like playing offense or defense? Do you think these guys needed the approval of the outside world to start this concept.  HELL NO!

To play offense you don’t need to be ready to save the world or start that company. Speaking candidly, I thought long and hard about my decision last year and wasn’t ready…YET.  It didn’t mean I couldn’t continue to play offense.

Coaches hate mistakes.  But, they can live with making an aggressive mistake.   Why?  Because the key word isn’t mistake, it’s aggressive.  Dictate pace.  Force the issue.  Make mistakes quickly, learn faster, and move forward with better direction.

Aggression, energy, motion, and velocity.

ACTION ITEM: More of the gas pedal, less of the brake.

 

 

Read a Book and Disagree With It

Do you like apples?

Read a Book and Disagree With it

My favorite movie of all time is Good Will Hunting.  There’s a wonderful scene in the movie where the main character Will Hunting(played by Matt Damon) confronts a Harvard-mouth poser for reciting lines from historical literature to position himself better in the eyes of a young dame (Minnie Driver).

Will delivers a dynamite quote,

“See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years, you’re gonna start doing some thinking on your own, and you’re gonna come up with the fact there are two certainties in life. One, don’t do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f—— education you could’ve gotten for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.”

What can this possibly teach you?

To anyone reading this with a Harvard education, don’t think for a second I’m demeaning your hard work and investment.  Instead, think about what Will is really saying in the quote above.

It’s really easy to buy a book, consume it, and agree with it’s every word. Genius!  Just the kind of thinking that will solve our problems moving forward.  Maybe you even memorize a few passages along the way.

No.  Challenge the book.  Learn to think critically and develop your own molded viewpoint of the world.

Read many books.  Make many agreements and many disagreements.

ACTION ITEM: This is how you grow.  New viewpoints, challenging opinions, and open thinking.  Just don’t wait the 50 years to do some thinking of your own.

“How do ya like them apples!!!”

1 Minute of Inspiration – From Shia Labeouf

If you had to watch one video today, I highly recommend this one from Shia Labeouf.   It will require only one minute of your precious Sunday afternoon time.

Who doesn’t have one minute?

https://youtu.be/nuHfVn_cfHU

It’s very easy to get caught up in the semantics, delivery, style, and Shia’s intensity in this video.  Don’t, like it or not.

Pay attention to the message, don’t get lost on the messenger.

After you’re done watching the video, I’d like to think the next three things are vitally important.  I did them.

  1. What are my dreams & BIG goals?
  2. What did I say I was going to start yesterday/this week to achieve my dreams & goals?
  3. How can I take the first step in that direction?

ACTION ITEM: Nothing like a little Sunday reflection time to get the week rolling in the right direction.  Please do steps one thru three I suggested above and be honest.  The truth can hurt (it often does for me), but the good news is you can change it and that’s where achievement happens.

 

Do You Like What You See?

Barry Melrose Like What You See

I was watching some Friday morning sports talk radio on TV and was hit by a moment of inspiration.  It came from a very unexpected source, Barry Melrose (currently broadcaster on ESPN and former NHL Hockey player and head coach).  You may have seen Barry before adorned in his loudly colored and often pinstriped suits on set.

Now I’m not a hockey fanatic, but I have recently been following the Chicago Blackhawks the last couple years.  Mike & Mike asked Barry what his pre-game speech would be for the Hawks?  The biggest speech their coach would deliver this year prior to their game 7 “winner-take-all” match-up with the Anaheim Ducks for a chance to skate for Lord Stanely’s Cup.  “What would you specifically say?” asked ESPN host Mike Greenberg.

He responded with strength and determination, “Like What You See!”

When the skates are off tonight men and you hit the shower, then stand in front of the mirror…like what you see.

He wasn’t talking about complexion or hair style either.  He was talking about a person/player looking themselves in the eye and being completely satisfied with the effort they delivered.

Imagine if we did this daily. Do you like what you see?

I believe the people that do like what they see, sleep well.  They wake up rested to tackle another day with all they’ve got.  They take action and “leave it all out there” to accomplish something every day.  Not everything will go their way, but they shake it off and continue on in a positive path.  They create momentum of achievements and progress every single day.

What about if you don’t like what you see?  I believe these people go to bed with a belly full of fear, frustration, or anxiety dreading what’s next.  Life happens to them and at this point in time, they’re not willing to punch back and change it.  The mirror has a funny way of bringing a harsh reality to a life.  A reality previously hidden from our site and vision becomes all too real.  The way we see ourselves, and what the reflection of the mirror tells us we are, conflict.  Conflict equals discontent or disagreement.  But, this conflict can be the best of things.  It’s a START.

The beautiful thing is, nothing is final (only death). Anyone can change.

If you don’t like what you see (and candidly I can say there are things about myself today I don’t like), change them!  Make moves today to start a new path.  Take a step, one step, in a different direction.

ACTION ITEM: If you see Barry, tell him I said, “Thanks!”  In the meantime, take an honest look in the mirror and don’t get angry.  Get moving.

Are We An Over-Gifting Culture?

Over Gifting

I’m almost 100% positive I’ll get some pretty good flack for this post, but it’s something I feel strongly about…so here we go.

Why is it everything, every event, every special day includes the expectations of receiving a gift?

  • Mother’s Day = Gift
  • Valentine’s Day = Gift
  • Easter = Gift
  • Christmas = too many Gifts
  • Birth of a Child = Push Present (What the hell is that anyway?)

I’m TIRED of it.

I will tell my readers something that may shock them.  I didn’t get my wife a gift for Mother’s day, and I certainly don’t expect one for Father’s day.  I also didn’t have to deal with the stress, anxiety, and expectations of choosing the “right gift” for the day.

Does this mean I think less of the men that did purchase a gift?  Absolutely not.  It’s their choice.  Let me tell you how I arrived at mine.

Those close to my wife and I will know we waited a long time to receive the gift of starting a family.   To say it was a struggle for us to join the parenthood klan would be a bit of an understatement.  When July 30th arrived last year and our son appeared a couple weeks early of his due date, we received the gift we’d been waiting years for.  A baby.  A family.  He went unnamed for a few early morning hours, but it wasn’t long until we introduced Landon Ray Keeney to the world.  A true blessing.  A gift in every sense of the word welcomed by his overjoyed Mom and Dad.

This year, when Mother’s day came calling I was really struggling with what I could do to tell my wife how much Landon and I appreciated her as a Mom.  I almost started laughing at the idea of buying: jewelry, a purse, a spa day, flowers, etc to show her how much we cared.  Did this really reflect all we’d been through to celebrate this wonderful day?  The answer was a resounding, “NO.”

I went looking for inspiration.

I went back into my email and found a recording from Dec. 4, 2013.  What was this recording?  It was a call from a fertility nurse at the hospital notifying my wife and I that “we were pregnant!”  Imagine two adults, sitting in complete silence, huddling over a phone in our living room hanging on every word

It worked!

All the stress, doctors visits, unexplained “bad luck”, medications, and everything that went with it, suddenly didn’t matter anymore.  Our dreams were coming true.  I hope to never forget or lack appreciation for the strong range of emotions we experienced in that moment.

I decided the Mother’s Day gift that best described what I was feeling, was to tell my wife, exactly what I was feeling with all of those bottled up emotions.  I wrote her a letter for Mother’s Day.  I expressed my feelings and all of the pain and stress we went through to be celebrating this wonderful day.

I specifically told her, if she wanted a “thing” (purse, jewelry, shoes, clothes, etc) I hoped she knew she could buy them any day of the year.  She certainly earned it.  What I wanted more than anything for us was to never forget just how great a blessing we received in the wee morning hours of July 30th.

What I really want this post to deliver is perspective.  I’ve written before about my personal pursuit in life for fewer things and “stuffitis” in favor of more life experiences and authentic appreciation.  This includes any and all “Hallmark Holidays” and empty gifts.

Instead I’m going to try and fill these days with more appreciation for the present and not the presents.

ACTION ITEM: I’d love to know how you feel about this.

 

 

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Recap

First off, I must start this post with a sincere apology.

I didn’t realize til about a week ago the last three posts hadn’t gone out to the tribe for days 29, 30, and 31 of my challenging questions.  EPIC Fail.

I’m sincerely sorry and it lacks class.  Something I’m not proud of.

What happened, you wonder?  Life happened.  I was traveling and the big man upstairs welcomed home one of our family members (and his biggest supporters).  Mind you, if I was coaching myself I’d tell you these are excuses.  But, I’ve always been open to my readers and that’s the way it will continue.

Nonetheless, I wanted to recap the final three posts here and share a brief snippet about what I learned.

Day 29: Am I taking time today to appreciate and LIVE?

Day 29

Day 30: Am I thinking BIG enough?

Day 30

 

Day 31: How will I be remembered?Day 31

Recap:  This project meant a lot to me.  It’s also proved (short to my my last 3 day blunder) the people following this blog are hungry for more content like this.  I’d never done 31 days of straight content production and editing so I also learned a thing or two about time management and scaling a project like this.

I’ll leave you with this.  I had many more than 31 questions when I started my list.  I chose these because after some time reflecting these questions were the ones I was personally struggling to answer most.  Maybe this was the case for you, maybe it wasn’t.  The point is, I hope it caused you to take a moment and reflect.  I hope it left you feeling unsatisfied and energized to continue taking your next opportunity head on.

ACTION ITEM: Over the last 30+ days I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and mentions on phone conversations about this list.  Thank you!  Thank you for not being afraid to tell someone you appreciate their work.  Like they say in the airports, “if you see something (you appreciate), say something!”

 

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 28

DAY 28: Would my son be proud of me?

Day 28

ACTION ITEM:  Gut check time. I will admit, I got a little choked up thinking about this one.  Somewhere, sometime, 20+ years from now, my son will be reading this in some version of what the internet looks like.  The answer better be YES!

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 27

DAY 27: Do the people I associate with believe in me?

Day 27

ACTION ITEM: I think this is an absolutely wonderful question.  Most every one of us works as part of a team.  Successful teams must believe in one another if they’re going to survive the challenging times (which we all know exist).  If you think you don’t know the answer to this question how would you find out?

Ask this question of someone on your team.  “I really need your help on a special project, can you help?”  Watch their body language…there is your answer.