Category Archives: Habits

Are We An Over-Gifting Culture?

Over Gifting

I’m almost 100% positive I’ll get some pretty good flack for this post, but it’s something I feel strongly about…so here we go.

Why is it everything, every event, every special day includes the expectations of receiving a gift?

  • Mother’s Day = Gift
  • Valentine’s Day = Gift
  • Easter = Gift
  • Christmas = too many Gifts
  • Birth of a Child = Push Present (What the hell is that anyway?)

I’m TIRED of it.

I will tell my readers something that may shock them.  I didn’t get my wife a gift for Mother’s day, and I certainly don’t expect one for Father’s day.  I also didn’t have to deal with the stress, anxiety, and expectations of choosing the “right gift” for the day.

Does this mean I think less of the men that did purchase a gift?  Absolutely not.  It’s their choice.  Let me tell you how I arrived at mine.

Those close to my wife and I will know we waited a long time to receive the gift of starting a family.   To say it was a struggle for us to join the parenthood klan would be a bit of an understatement.  When July 30th arrived last year and our son appeared a couple weeks early of his due date, we received the gift we’d been waiting years for.  A baby.  A family.  He went unnamed for a few early morning hours, but it wasn’t long until we introduced Landon Ray Keeney to the world.  A true blessing.  A gift in every sense of the word welcomed by his overjoyed Mom and Dad.

This year, when Mother’s day came calling I was really struggling with what I could do to tell my wife how much Landon and I appreciated her as a Mom.  I almost started laughing at the idea of buying: jewelry, a purse, a spa day, flowers, etc to show her how much we cared.  Did this really reflect all we’d been through to celebrate this wonderful day?  The answer was a resounding, “NO.”

I went looking for inspiration.

I went back into my email and found a recording from Dec. 4, 2013.  What was this recording?  It was a call from a fertility nurse at the hospital notifying my wife and I that “we were pregnant!”  Imagine two adults, sitting in complete silence, huddling over a phone in our living room hanging on every word

It worked!

All the stress, doctors visits, unexplained “bad luck”, medications, and everything that went with it, suddenly didn’t matter anymore.  Our dreams were coming true.  I hope to never forget or lack appreciation for the strong range of emotions we experienced in that moment.

I decided the Mother’s Day gift that best described what I was feeling, was to tell my wife, exactly what I was feeling with all of those bottled up emotions.  I wrote her a letter for Mother’s Day.  I expressed my feelings and all of the pain and stress we went through to be celebrating this wonderful day.

I specifically told her, if she wanted a “thing” (purse, jewelry, shoes, clothes, etc) I hoped she knew she could buy them any day of the year.  She certainly earned it.  What I wanted more than anything for us was to never forget just how great a blessing we received in the wee morning hours of July 30th.

What I really want this post to deliver is perspective.  I’ve written before about my personal pursuit in life for fewer things and “stuffitis” in favor of more life experiences and authentic appreciation.  This includes any and all “Hallmark Holidays” and empty gifts.

Instead I’m going to try and fill these days with more appreciation for the present and not the presents.

ACTION ITEM: I’d love to know how you feel about this.

 

 

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Recap

First off, I must start this post with a sincere apology.

I didn’t realize til about a week ago the last three posts hadn’t gone out to the tribe for days 29, 30, and 31 of my challenging questions.  EPIC Fail.

I’m sincerely sorry and it lacks class.  Something I’m not proud of.

What happened, you wonder?  Life happened.  I was traveling and the big man upstairs welcomed home one of our family members (and his biggest supporters).  Mind you, if I was coaching myself I’d tell you these are excuses.  But, I’ve always been open to my readers and that’s the way it will continue.

Nonetheless, I wanted to recap the final three posts here and share a brief snippet about what I learned.

Day 29: Am I taking time today to appreciate and LIVE?

Day 29

Day 30: Am I thinking BIG enough?

Day 30

 

Day 31: How will I be remembered?Day 31

Recap:  This project meant a lot to me.  It’s also proved (short to my my last 3 day blunder) the people following this blog are hungry for more content like this.  I’d never done 31 days of straight content production and editing so I also learned a thing or two about time management and scaling a project like this.

I’ll leave you with this.  I had many more than 31 questions when I started my list.  I chose these because after some time reflecting these questions were the ones I was personally struggling to answer most.  Maybe this was the case for you, maybe it wasn’t.  The point is, I hope it caused you to take a moment and reflect.  I hope it left you feeling unsatisfied and energized to continue taking your next opportunity head on.

ACTION ITEM: Over the last 30+ days I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and mentions on phone conversations about this list.  Thank you!  Thank you for not being afraid to tell someone you appreciate their work.  Like they say in the airports, “if you see something (you appreciate), say something!”

 

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 28

DAY 28: Would my son be proud of me?

Day 28

ACTION ITEM:  Gut check time. I will admit, I got a little choked up thinking about this one.  Somewhere, sometime, 20+ years from now, my son will be reading this in some version of what the internet looks like.  The answer better be YES!

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 27

DAY 27: Do the people I associate with believe in me?

Day 27

ACTION ITEM: I think this is an absolutely wonderful question.  Most every one of us works as part of a team.  Successful teams must believe in one another if they’re going to survive the challenging times (which we all know exist).  If you think you don’t know the answer to this question how would you find out?

Ask this question of someone on your team.  “I really need your help on a special project, can you help?”  Watch their body language…there is your answer.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 26

DAY 26: Have I donated enough?

Day 26

ACTION ITEM: I’m guilty of having a selfish streak.  I get so caught up in what I’m doing I forget to be grateful and give back.  I need to ask this question of myself more often to make sure I’m doing what’s best for others and not just myself.   ~Sorry tribe, didn’t realize this was going to be a personal therapy session.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 25

DAY 25: Have I made any crazy asks lately?

Day 25

ACTION ITEM: I really love this one.  Any time I’m reflecting and I get the feeling I’m playing it a little too safe I’m reminded to be bold, and ask for something OUT THERE.  Why?  Because the worst thing that can happen is the person can say no.  But, what if they didn’t entirely say no, and they met you half way?  What would happen then?

ASK FOR SOMETHING CRAZY THIS WEEK!

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 24

DAY 24: What can I do to make myself more valuable today?

Day 24

ACTION ITEM:  Success finds those who exceedingly provide value.  How can you be more valuable to your team, your client, yourself?  Secondly, I’ll ask you to take off your super-driven, achievement-focused hat for a second and reposition the question about family.  How can I be more valuable to my family?

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 23

DAY 23: Am I continuing to meet new people?

Day 23

ACTION ITEM: I find myself guilty of becoming comfortable in the people I know.  I need to remind myself to continually get out there and meet new and exciting people.  People with fresh perspectives and experiences on life existing outside of my circle of influence.  Doing this almost always opens me up to new reading material, daily rituals, success strategies and viewpoints I hadn’t considered before.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 22

DAY 22:  Is my work worthy of a raise?

Day 22

ACTION ITEM: A goal of many people is to “make more money.”  The next question that comes to mind is, how? If you’re like 95% of people who work for someone else, you have to earn it.  The surest way NOT to get paid is to go begging for it.  My philosophy on this topic has always been very simple.  Earn, then ask.  The ask becomes 10X easier when backed up by outstanding performance.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 21

DAY 21: Am I investing 15% of my income before a bill is paid

It was bound to happen.  A simple oversight in the date and the day was missed.  I apologize to those who are getting this a few hours late.  Today will be a double post.

Day 21

ACTION ITEM: Financial health is extremely important and often overlooked.  I believe a person has to make  commitment to themselves and their future by paying themselves first.  A really good starting point for this is 15% of your income.  Not a mortgage, not a car payment, not credit card bills, YOU.  Your monthly budget starts after you get paid first.  No excuses.