Category Archives: Professional Development

Live Your Eulogy

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This is an interesting topic and somewhat morbid to be totally candid.  But I couldn’t get it out of my head this last week given a couple books I read.

How Will I Be Remembered?

For some reason, I spent a great deal of time thinking about what this all looks like 60+ years from now?  Can I make it to 93? I’m not sure, maybe another topic for another time.

I don’t mean for any of this post to relate to my life’s achievements or accomplishments.  Although I don’t think that is a terribly bad thing, I was thinking specifically about legacy. It’s one of the only true things you can leave behind (and not be taxed).

There is something really simple and beautiful about this thought process to me. Once you wrestle with the idea for a little bit you come to a striking conclusion. It is the ONLY acceptable answer to the equation called LIFE. The dirt will hit each of us in the face. Some will meet it with grace and some will meet it suddenly and unexpectedly. Either way…life expires.

The fear isn’t the part that draws my attention.

My attention was and is focused this last couple weeks on legacy. The cool thing is when the thoughts start, everything else becomes entirely trivial with our day to day lives. Think about it. What did I do today that really mattered?  If not selfishly for me, for someone else. Now ask yourself again, what is really important and does it directly relate to what you accomplished today?

What replaced the trivial thoughts (today’s insecurities) were some great questions.

  • What would the people close to me say about how I lived?
  • Is there a chance I was able to help this person, push them, or make them better?  If so, how?
  • Would a stranger I just met have good words or a positive story to share with my son as an example of how I lived?
  • Did I leave the family in a better place?
  • What can I change TODAY…right now if I didn’t like the story?

Once again, I really don’t know why this came about, but I’m happy it did.  I think the thoughts are healthy and allow a person like myself who doesn’t take much time to slow down to almost stop and consider how they’d like to be remembered.

The way a person is remembered is directly attributed to the day to day.  Small efforts, magnified over time.

In a weird way its a goal I’m in pursuit of.  Trouble for all of us is, we don’t know when it will be.  Or maybe that’s exactly where the beauty lives. So until then, I’ll just have to put the work in every day and the legacy will take care of itself.

ACTION ITEM: Look at a story of a life well lived.  I don’t care if the person lived to be 25 or 105.  If you can define the life well lived, you have a legacy to pursue.

 

Living in a Time of Intense Speed

Speed Racer

You can almost feel life getting faster can’t you? It’s ok. People also said this in: 2005, 1995, 1975, 1955, and so on.  But now, it feels as though the speed is multiplied and magnified every day in business and specifically our careers.  How can you embrace this speed and not get swallowed up in the blitzkrieg attack of daily life?

I grew up in the 80’s. Times were simpler then. Imagine the things we did.

  • We played outside. A lot. In the summer we hit dingers at the local ball field.  In the winter we got buckets in the gym.  Maybe we found a little time for Nintendo.
  • We learned how to use and read a map.  We also got lost because sometimes we didn’t understand the latter.
  • We learned useless information out of a book to place it in our “memory” because we couldn’t “Google it”
  • Email? What the hell is email?
  • The Internet. Al Gore knew about it…apparently.
  • Big businesses succeeded. As an employee, you went to college, got an entry level job and hoped to “work your way to the top” to retire in your 60’s after years of dedication to your company with a soft pension to land on and social security to take care of you.
  • Patience. I’ve been told people had more of this “back then”, but I don’t remember.
  • Millionaires. The 80’s had Millionaires.

Sounds nice doesn’t it? The simple life.

Let me tell you how this is different today and cite reasons we all need to prepare to adapt and embrace the speed of change (Cue The Scorpions, “Winds of Change”).

  1. 24/7 Lifestyle. If you have a career that demands anything of you, you’re likely working when you get up (or shortly thereafter) and at some point when you’re at home or on the weekend. Just 25 years ago this was oh so different. For the positive, it’s also opened up many remote working agreements, and flexibility outside of the handcuffed 9 to 5. We now have the ability to make it happen from wherever you choose.
  2. Billionaires. The 80’s had Millionaires, today we have Billionaires. Do you know the difference between one million seconds and one billion seconds? One million seconds is roughly 12 days. One billion seconds is 32 years. Let that sink in. There is NO shortage of money out there.
  3. Patience. Why? I can get what I want, when I want it, from whomever will help me this instant. Have a customer service compliant?  Tweet it. If you don’t get an answer in two minutes tell me how this makes you feel? I get frustrated. I know there is someone on the other end receiving a notification. If you don’t know what Twitter is, EVERYONE under the age of 20 does, and they’ll be looking for your job in 2-3 years.
  4. Coaching Carousel.  Sports often provides excellent insight to life.  This is no different.  Tell me how many coaches were fired during or after the 2014 NFL season? I believe I count eight new coaches in 2015.  Six in 2014.  That’s nearly half of the league with a new coach in the last two years alone.  Some didn’t even make it out of the season.  Roughly 14 grown men are worth so much to their previous organizations, that they’re being paid MILLIONS to go elsewhere. Win. And WIN right now.
  5. Volatility.  Markets and businesses are moving faster than ever and this is causing more volatility. Would you like some examples?  Do you think Blockbuster saw Netflix coming? They’re gone. Do you think Yellow Cab would ever have to worry about a faceless mobile competitor Uber? How about AirBnB proving to be a big pain for competing hotels. Book retailers large and small are closing at a rate faster than cheap TVs disappear after a Black Friday sale. Every business is being disrupted in this massive time of innovation (the internet).
  6. Television. I think this is super-interesting. Think about your consumption habits just five years ago. Now look at where we are.  DVR. Netflix. TV via the Web. YouTube. Mobile/Tablet consumption (anywhere/anytime). I’m really excited to see where this will be just a few years from now. Think of paying for this utility like you do water or gas.  You only pay for what you use.  Not the super-mega-special 500+ channels. Change is coming…for the better.
  7. Education. I could rant on this one for a while and will likely do so in another post, but really think about this. What can you learn today on your own time? I don’t care if it is via YouTube, podcasts, online courses, or an ebook.  Education is all around us.  Not in a building and not for $100,000 of debt that could (and I say could strongly) ruin the next 20 years of your life and earning potential to boot. This model is changing.

I believe with all of my heart this is, and will continue to be, a terrific time for personal reinvention. In years past you may not have had the time, angle, or countless opportunities to change the trajectory of your lifestyle or career. No longer!

New tools, business reinvention and explosive company growth continue to prove this point. I firmly believe a person must adapt an intense appetite for learning as we grow quickly into the 21st century. Never let this appetite become full and opportunities will continue to present themselves.  Embrace the change. Embrace a new way of doing things. Embrace the challenge of continued growth and learning.

The world will not slow down and wait for you.

Lastly, understand this fact. No one else knows what the will happen or what plan is prefect for the future.  Don’t be afraid to take a shot. Learn, reinvent, and resurface a more dangerous individual. I remind myself of this all the time.

Remember this thought from Lou Holtz

In this world, you’re either growing or you’re dying, so get in motion and grow

ACTION ITEM: Change often isn’t easy, but it is constant. Work at the ability to adapt and embrace change like a muscle, it will get stronger with use. If you fear change, the fear will grow with every doubt.

One Person. One BIG Result.

The other night, my wife and I were hanging out, doing what a married couple does in 2015…checking Instagram and Facebook before grabbing some sleep. She says to me, “Can you imagine having 95,000 followers on Instagram?” I can’t remember what she was looking at, but it didn’t seem valuable enough to me for 95,000 people to “double tap-it,” but whatever.  I’m not a woman.

As per usual, “Hell no,” was my response to her question. “What would that even look like? 95,000…really?” I think I said something like, “How does your phone look with that many notifications?”

~Mind Blown

The thing is, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is, one of those followers being the right person to see value in the message. That’s how 95,000 followers or 9 million followers happens. Do you think Oprah started on national television with her own time slot, making all the rules? NO.

Why am I telling you this?

Two days ago, I spoke at a conference in Des Moines called Market 515.

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How did this happen? One person cared enough in what I’ve said previously via this platform to ask me if I’d be interested. Side note (at least that’s the story I’m telling myself). My sincere hope is I wrote something this person took to heart and positively impacted their life. So…am I interested?

Interested? Interested?!?!

Interested is a bit of an understatement. I was pumped beyond belief. I was actually worried about being too excited.

The reason I’m writing this is, I had to get this out before the conference because I have one very simple, refined goal for this event and audience. But I didn’t get it out. There was a glitch in the delivery of the post, and now I’m writing post-conference. I thought…why not? Plus, it may be cooler to share what I was thinking before the conference and consequently, what happened after.

THE GOAL: Impact that ONE PERSON.

Impact and encourage them to take big gulps of the recipe I’ll be sharing. Just one person. What happens from there will happen.

~It only takes one match to start a fire.

ACTION ITEM: I’ll bring the matches, you bring the gas.

P.S. – Since this speech is already over, I thought I’d share this with you all as I received it this morning. BOOM!

 

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Three Words Magnetic Teams Know

Three Words

I was having a conversation a week or two ago with a couple of friends about growing business, teams, and the challenges each presents.  We got to talking about how to specifically challenge team members to be great and having each member feeling fulfilled in their career path.  Two big challenges for everyone.  The goal is a team of magnets, pulling each closer together and growing in strength while working with one another.

A question was posed, “How can one person make this happen for 5, 10, 20+ people?  That’s a huge undertaking!”

My answer was three simple and short words.

“Give a shit!”

If a person truly wants to build a lasting team, they’ll give first.  If a person wants to complain about what they’re not getting from their team or team members, I will always challenge to look internally first.  Own up to what isn’t happening and start caring more.

If you’re thinking the answer is too blunt, it probably is.

The great owners, entrepreneurs, leaders, teammates, and coaches, who make great progress with their units, CARE unconditionally for their team.  They invest and don’t always worry about what they can get in return.  There is enough shared confidence in the unit to pay it forward.

Over the years I’ve seen many teams grow, and many die slow deaths with selfish leaders.  The teams who experienced tremendous success and growth looked after one another.  In one powerful instance, I saw a very close team pray together.  If you’ve ever seen this and stood admiring, it is quite a site!  Good work Tim & Corey!

In other successful instances, I’ve witnessed teams push one another toward a shared vision by pulling each other closer to the mission.  In each instance, the team had tremendous vitality and magnetism.  This vitality and magnetism crushes every challenge, competitor, and opportunity in its path.  To push through a challenge, pull the unit together.

In every instance, the successful gave a shit and limited selfish thoughts.

What does this look like in the business world working with cynical consumers everywhere? There is a story circulating the internet about Southwest Airlines.  Maybe you’ve seen it.  If not, it’s worth the read.  Plane has Already Left the Gate, Receives THIS News, Turns Back Immediately.  Someone at Southwest with a heart made the really simple choice to care.

I frequently listen to the audio book, Hyper Sales Growth by Jack Daly.  Jack tells a wonderful story about a time when he was much younger working in a supermarket.  He had an elderly woman shopping for a specific vegetable, and the supermarket was out of stock.  She asked young Jack, “Can you please help me find the fresh spinach?”  Jack’s response (knowing they were out of the leafy vegetable), “Of course, can you give me about 10 minutes and I’ll meet you at the checkout with the spinach?”

What did Jack do next?

He immediately took off to a competing supermarket.  Took money out of his own pocket, bought the spinach (2 bags just in case), and quickly made his way back to the supermarket to meet his patron at the checkout.  “Here is your fresh spinach Mrs.,” said Jack.  This one is on us.  Thank you for the continued support and patronage,” smiled young Jack ear to ear.  He knew he’d done the right thing.  His manager had taught him well.

Is there an ugly side to caring too much?

Of course there is.  Not everyone will care.  You will get your feelings hurt.  Move away from these people quickly and get them the hell away from your unified team.

Have you ever seen a good sports team go out and buy the newest high-dollar free agent on the market, hoping to be great with the addition?  What happens next?  The superstar wants to do it their way, and the culture suffers.  The team is actually worse off.  I’ve seen it too many times.  I’ve tried it.  It doesn’t work.

ACTION ITEM:  You can choose to be the asshole and get what you want…(for a while).  I hope you’re prepared to be hopelessly lonely.  Why not choose caring instead and build something that lasts?

Do You Like What You See?

Barry Melrose Like What You See

I was watching some Friday morning sports talk radio on TV and was hit by a moment of inspiration.  It came from a very unexpected source, Barry Melrose (currently broadcaster on ESPN and former NHL Hockey player and head coach).  You may have seen Barry before adorned in his loudly colored and often pinstriped suits on set.

Now I’m not a hockey fanatic, but I have recently been following the Chicago Blackhawks the last couple years.  Mike & Mike asked Barry what his pre-game speech would be for the Hawks?  The biggest speech their coach would deliver this year prior to their game 7 “winner-take-all” match-up with the Anaheim Ducks for a chance to skate for Lord Stanely’s Cup.  “What would you specifically say?” asked ESPN host Mike Greenberg.

He responded with strength and determination, “Like What You See!”

When the skates are off tonight men and you hit the shower, then stand in front of the mirror…like what you see.

He wasn’t talking about complexion or hair style either.  He was talking about a person/player looking themselves in the eye and being completely satisfied with the effort they delivered.

Imagine if we did this daily. Do you like what you see?

I believe the people that do like what they see, sleep well.  They wake up rested to tackle another day with all they’ve got.  They take action and “leave it all out there” to accomplish something every day.  Not everything will go their way, but they shake it off and continue on in a positive path.  They create momentum of achievements and progress every single day.

What about if you don’t like what you see?  I believe these people go to bed with a belly full of fear, frustration, or anxiety dreading what’s next.  Life happens to them and at this point in time, they’re not willing to punch back and change it.  The mirror has a funny way of bringing a harsh reality to a life.  A reality previously hidden from our site and vision becomes all too real.  The way we see ourselves, and what the reflection of the mirror tells us we are, conflict.  Conflict equals discontent or disagreement.  But, this conflict can be the best of things.  It’s a START.

The beautiful thing is, nothing is final (only death). Anyone can change.

If you don’t like what you see (and candidly I can say there are things about myself today I don’t like), change them!  Make moves today to start a new path.  Take a step, one step, in a different direction.

ACTION ITEM: If you see Barry, tell him I said, “Thanks!”  In the meantime, take an honest look in the mirror and don’t get angry.  Get moving.

Anxiety, Neurosis, and Living a Life of Fear

There’s an epidemic gaining momentum in society.

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Obviously I don’t believe I’m alone or I wouldn’t write about it.  Anxiety and fear are leaving people feeling trapped, living a life alone with their own thoughts.

It all started for me about five years ago with my UC (ulcerative colitis) diagnosis.  What began as a disease of the large intestine and specifically the colon, spread to my head.

No it’s not cancer.  I’m referring to the negative thought process I became fixated on and concerned with 24/7.  Worry followed by more fear and worry.  Here is a small sampling of my thoughts from about five years ago to give you an idea of what I’m talking about:

  • Is this going to kill me?
  • What (if anything) could I eat any more?
  • Would it cause another attack?
  • What if I’m not near a bathroom? (near is a distance 15-20 seconds away at a panic jog rate)
  • What if I can’t eat anything?
  • Would I still be able to travel?
  • What if I got sick away from home?
  • How embarrassing is this going to be?
  • Eat more bananas? Damn it! More bananas?

Why am I telling you this?

Because I believe this is merely a glimpse at my struggle, and although it may not relate to you directly, I believe others need to know it’s okay to be afraid, but accepting of their fears.  What’s not okay is to let fear take over your thoughts, actions, and emotions 24/7 and ruin your life.  For me, this fear lead to panic, anxious thoughts, and uninitiated worry.

A couple years ago on the outside, I may have looked like I had it together, but on the inside I was a complete mess.

The “trifecta” I was living with included more than just the UC diagnosis and fears.  At the exact same time I was kicking a nasty nicotine habit (which needed to happen), while also facing a growing infertility challenge with my wife as we longed to start a family.  Brick by brick, a house of fears and frustration compiled.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago I realized the best medicine for my body wasn’t the two daily horse pills I take. I needed brain training for a reboot.  I’d personally beaten myself down with thoughts and feelings of insecurity and anxiousness.  Everywhere I went there was an undercurrent of fear riding in my sidecar.  If you can relate, you know what I’m talking about. The weeds find a way to grow, and they grow quickly!

What does this fear feel like?

It feels like a racing heartbeat.  Clammy and shivering hands.  Chills.  Feelings of being exhausted and alert at the same time.  It turned situations where I was 100% comfortable a couple years ago into fight or flight adrenaline jolts.  It sucked.

So how did I start to take back control?

Slowly. One step at a time my thinking had to be rebuilt.  Here’s what Ralph Waldo Emerson says,

A man is what he thinks about all day long.

The quote (and I’m not sure who said it), “Everyone has something,” kept running through my head.  “I’m not the only one in the world dealing with this, so stop being such a pansy ass,” I’d say to myself.  It could be so much worse.  I had to make a choice and commit to positivity and living life every day.

Commitment to change happened.

Radical change happens when a line is drawn in the sand and a person must be put to a decision.  In poker you would call this an “all-in” wager.  I didn’t want to wallow in the bullshit any longer.  I decided I’d own it and talk about it openly.  I chose to show others my hand (more card-speak), my insecurities, and not be afraid or embarrassed.  After all, this was me.  All of me, as John Legend puts it.

A crazy thing happens when you speak freely about fear.  It gets released.  When it’s released, it doesn’t carry with it the immense weight as it does in your thoughts.  It disappears like smoke from a fire into the night sky.  Seemingly never to have existed in the first place.

Tony Robbins teaches three things to help you get to this action decision.  You can find the link to his post here (How to Create Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life)

  1. Change your strategy, change your result.
  2. Change your story, change your life.
  3. Change your state—you change it all!

The kryptonite to my fear, my anxiety, my neurosis wasn’t a pill (although I must admit a steroid pack helps a brother out from time to time if he gets run down and my stomach needs a boost).  No.  The answer lived in my thoughts, beliefs, and actions.  A funny thing happens when this choice is made.  You gain momentum and energy, and you never look back.

Thinking alone won’t ever cure me from my stomach disease or associated fears, but I’m not looking for that any more.  I’m not cured, I’m informed.  I’m committed to not living a life of fear and being a shell of my real self.  If that means saying no to a few more things, or resting when my body needs it, then so be it.

When the next challenge comes along (and it’s guaranteed to happen), I will be more prepared.  I will be more present in understanding what I’m feeling.  In the meantime, I’m going to hop on this black stallion called life and break her to live my way!

ACTION ITEM: I’ve been thinking about this post for some time.  A great deal of emotion came about when thinking about it.  It makes me feel even better writing it.  But, it’s not about me.  I know without a shred of doubt there are people struggling like I did.  If you are afraid, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE!

Make a choice to beat it.  If you’re a friend, make a choice to help them.  Life is far too short to be afraid all the time.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Recap

First off, I must start this post with a sincere apology.

I didn’t realize til about a week ago the last three posts hadn’t gone out to the tribe for days 29, 30, and 31 of my challenging questions.  EPIC Fail.

I’m sincerely sorry and it lacks class.  Something I’m not proud of.

What happened, you wonder?  Life happened.  I was traveling and the big man upstairs welcomed home one of our family members (and his biggest supporters).  Mind you, if I was coaching myself I’d tell you these are excuses.  But, I’ve always been open to my readers and that’s the way it will continue.

Nonetheless, I wanted to recap the final three posts here and share a brief snippet about what I learned.

Day 29: Am I taking time today to appreciate and LIVE?

Day 29

Day 30: Am I thinking BIG enough?

Day 30

 

Day 31: How will I be remembered?Day 31

Recap:  This project meant a lot to me.  It’s also proved (short to my my last 3 day blunder) the people following this blog are hungry for more content like this.  I’d never done 31 days of straight content production and editing so I also learned a thing or two about time management and scaling a project like this.

I’ll leave you with this.  I had many more than 31 questions when I started my list.  I chose these because after some time reflecting these questions were the ones I was personally struggling to answer most.  Maybe this was the case for you, maybe it wasn’t.  The point is, I hope it caused you to take a moment and reflect.  I hope it left you feeling unsatisfied and energized to continue taking your next opportunity head on.

ACTION ITEM: Over the last 30+ days I’ve received numerous texts, emails, and mentions on phone conversations about this list.  Thank you!  Thank you for not being afraid to tell someone you appreciate their work.  Like they say in the airports, “if you see something (you appreciate), say something!”

 

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 28

DAY 28: Would my son be proud of me?

Day 28

ACTION ITEM:  Gut check time. I will admit, I got a little choked up thinking about this one.  Somewhere, sometime, 20+ years from now, my son will be reading this in some version of what the internet looks like.  The answer better be YES!

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 27

DAY 27: Do the people I associate with believe in me?

Day 27

ACTION ITEM: I think this is an absolutely wonderful question.  Most every one of us works as part of a team.  Successful teams must believe in one another if they’re going to survive the challenging times (which we all know exist).  If you think you don’t know the answer to this question how would you find out?

Ask this question of someone on your team.  “I really need your help on a special project, can you help?”  Watch their body language…there is your answer.

31 Days of Challenging Questions: Day 26

DAY 26: Have I donated enough?

Day 26

ACTION ITEM: I’m guilty of having a selfish streak.  I get so caught up in what I’m doing I forget to be grateful and give back.  I need to ask this question of myself more often to make sure I’m doing what’s best for others and not just myself.   ~Sorry tribe, didn’t realize this was going to be a personal therapy session.