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Silent Killers: The Two Dangers Men Overlook

If something were killing you, would you stop?

It’s likely your brain immediately triggered thoughts like: smoking, alcohol, and drug abuse. Although these are undoubtedly killers, what I’m referring to is less obvious, and even more subtle. And yet it’s happening to men every day.

My current life journey has me in my early 40s. Given the average life expectancy for a male in the United States, I’m somewhere around the half way point in this earthly existence. This time period in life is usually an excellent trigger for a mid-life crisis…and I think I’m feeling one. But I’m coming to mine in a different way.

I’m not about to buy a convertible sports car, or a boat, or Motorcycle, get a tattoo, or get a second wife 20 years my junior. Our good friends at Forbes give us these 15 signs to look out for a Mid-Life Crisis. It’s a pretty good list and many make sense.

As I previously stated, I’m arriving at my crisis in a different mindset. Battling some health and anxiety challenges in my 30s and early 40s brought me to understand the two most valuable things anyone can have are: Health and Time.

What I’m discerning from my experience isn’t that I need a new adrenaline rush or dopamine hit from a lavish purchase. It’s a wake up call that I need to be prepared and able to live with vitality the next 42 years (Que Song: Tim McGraw, “My Next 30 Years“). Right now, is when the silent killers start taking shape…and it’s likely you don’t even know it!

Silent Killer One: Immobility

From the National Institute on Aging: Older adults who lose their mobility are less likely to remain living at home; have higher rates of disease, disability, hospitalization, and death; and have poorer quality of life.

Anyone signing up for that?

I’m fortunate enough to live in a community with many incredibly “active” retirees. I’m fortunate because every day I get to see many of them set a wonderful example of what it’s like to live with vitality into your 60s, 70s and 80s. They walk, swim, play pickle ball, ride bikes, exercise and golf four to five times a week (sometimes more). This group is an active tribe of travelers and their fire for continued exploration burns bright. They do these things because they have the energy and mobility to allow them to explore.

There is a really good chance if you’re in your 30s or 40s with kids, your Google calendar looks like a paint by number exercise. It’s jam packed with commitments, events, practices, pickups, play dates, and the list goes on. Oh yeah…you probably have a career too, so there goes 8am-5pm!

This does two things for a person. The first is the relentless schedule wears them down physically. The second is it wears you down mentally. Guess what happens next? In the pursuit of “convenience”, bad choices can easily be made because willpower is shot. More time is spent sitting, and diet choices can go by the wayside. The sedentary lifestyle begins to emerge and slowly, mobility is lost. Newton’s first law of motion states,

“An object at rest, stays at rest”

I came to the strong realization, if I can’t move, what life do I really have? Instead, I’m looking to embody the words of the Dylan Thomas Poem: Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

If this hits home for you, like it did me, my plea to you is to GET MOVING and do it now!. It’s better to wear out, than rust out

Second Silent Killer: Boredom

Say “Retirement” out loud. Feels blissful just saying it doesn’t it? Imagine, for a moment in time years from now. You’re in your 60s and healthy. You’ve retired from the need to work every day for income and you’re financially secure. The kids are out of the house and it’s quiet. Almost too quiet. The coming days, weeks and months’ commitments are few. Exhale.

Here’s the issue.

Now what?

I think about and frequently write about the journey toward early retirement. But now as that journey moves closer to reality year after year, I’m asking myself another question. What will I do with the time? I’m sure as hell not going to make sure the bird feeder is full and catch up on the latest crossword. BORING!!

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful

I imagine a machinist, or someone who spent nearly 40 years working on an assembly line, or laborer doing some sort of monotonous task. The sheer relief from NOT doing that every day has to be an ungodly relief. But the void of time must be filled. What will you do every day when your commitments were to an employer? What will you do that challenges you and keeps your mind fresh and vibrant?

I come at this from a different angle. I like what I do and it’s unlikely I ever stop doing some form of Marketing, Sales and Storytelling. Otherwise, I’ll be bored and BOREDOM is absolutely the enemy.

Here’s the real truth. Many don’t have to wait for boredom to hit in their sixties. It’s happening RIGHT NOW in the life they live. I speak confidently on this, as a friend I was having coffee with two days ago said the words out loud, “I’m bored with what I’m doing.” My response? You need to knock that shit off and find something to energize your efforts. Boredom is the enemy!

Couples are also experiencing the fallout of boredom. An early relationship driven by curiosity, passion, love and lust, changes when kids arrive and life becomes a hectic pursuit of events and milestones. Next thing you know, these same couples wake up 20-25 years later to an empty house wondering who the other person is that’s also there. Tell me you’ve seen these people. We all know them. They’ve been bored for years!

Boredom in your relationship is a KILLER!!!

Most men die at 25, but just aren’t buried until they’re 75 ~ Ben Franklin

The purpose of this post is to shine a light on a topic I think many men feel, but many overlook. I also hope to add fuel, or be the spark to the engine of change. Making changes NOW, in your 30s, 40s, or 50s has the ability to pay massive dividends in the decades to come. Decades of experiences await those who remain vigilant in maintaining their mobility and continue to pursue challenges and intellectual pursuits.

Do not go gentle into that good night!

What Do I Want from 2024?

On this journey we call life, it’s important to have a compass. Wandering endlessly day-by-day will leave us in the same spot we started (which is unacceptable). As Tony Robbins says, “progress = happiness” and who doesn’t want more happiness?

So what am I thinking about or pursuing in 2024?

Health

My number one pursuit in 2024 is to find remission from my auto immune disease…by any means necessary!! Recently in November I started a new trial drug (Zeposia) which is designed to better regulate, or down regulate my immune system to trigger fewer flare ups or responses by my body to fight itself, and in so doing, cause harm. In evaluating options, the next choice of treatment was: a pill, a bi-monthly shot, or infusion every 8-weeks. We chose the daily pill.

But over the holidays, I flared again on the new drug. Talk about a downer!! Today, I’m currently taking about 3-4 different pills a day to combat symptoms and I’m in a desperate pursuit to bring this number to ZERO!!

I’ve grown tired of the ups and downs from the unpredictability. I’m tired of the anxiousness of the disease impacting my movement patterns, sometimes limiting travel (which I love) and just overall life. In early January I’m headed to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion on how to best rid myself of these symptoms and hopefully dial back on medication.

I’m attacking the disease from many angles: diet, fitness, and overall mental well being. I tell myself I know how the disease was initially triggered. It’s lovely cocktail mix: A great deal of hard living in my 20’s accompanied with amplified stress from being a tireless overachiever likely sent my body and immune system into a tail spin in the late 2000’s. But is this true?? Or is this story??

Fact vs. Story. That’s what I’m really looking to explore. I’m not looking to only treat symptoms, instead I’m Indiana Jones in search of the root cause. I’m told there is no “cure” per se to Ulcerative Colitis. I don’t buy it. I’m somewhat convinced the medication doesn’t work, otherwise why would I continually experience flare ups a few times per year, which are then resolved by steroids? So what’s the answer?

Is Diet the Answer?


I don’t know this either. Here’s what I do know. I know in 2023 I ate better than I have in my entire life. I consumed more vegetables, smoothies and pounds of spinach than I ever have. I consumed less alcohol than ever and I’m on the verge of calling it quits entirely. But still the symptoms. Is diet the answer?

Is Fitness the Answer?

I’m in better shape now at 41 than I was at 31. It’s not even a comparison. My body composition is better and I’m even hitting the golf ball further as a result. In 2023 I completed over 250 workouts and cycled nearly 8,000 minutes this year. In a quest for 10,000 pull ups, I completed 14,000. I am no iron man, but I am in good shape…but the symptoms remain. Is Fitness the answer?

Am I too type A?

I can only imagine being a reader of this post and reading my thoughts. Zac, of course you think simply changing the variables noted above (or by simply doing more) you’d step into remission and all would be well. It’s not that easy, and I’m coming to grips with that. So what’s the next phase?

Is the next phase Surrender?

In listening to recent sermon from Orchard Hill Church, the pastor spoke to surrender, and a season of waiting. I must admit, just hearing those words send me into toxic shock. I suck at waiting…and yet maybe that’s the larger lesson in all of this? I’ve tried searching for solutions via the mechanism of control. And yet, that’s not working. So maybe surrender is?

In almost every year in my adult life I’ve thought about goals and planning for the following year. It’s exciting, it’s ambitious, it’s challenging!! Every single year these include financial targets to hit and investments to make. While 2024 will likely include these goals, my #1 concern and focus will be on getting truly healthy.

You can have all the riches and success in the world, but if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.

Colonoscopy: Number Six

It’s Oct. 5th. 4:11AM. I’m wide awake.

Not by choice either. At 3:15AM I woke to take down the second (yes there are two) dose of laxative that would further empty my body out before my 7:45AM colonoscopy. I get one every other year due to my Ulcerative Colitis. At this point in the early morning “prep” process, there is literally [nothing left] in my body.

I haven’t eaten in roughly 34 hours…and oddly enough, I’m very alert and rather focused. My mind feels sharp and I’m not even thinking of food. I just banged one last cup of coffee for a little jolt of energy this morning pre procedure. Funny what happens when we go without food for an extended period of time. The mind and body adapt. I’ve also done this before, so mentally I’m prepared for the entire process.

This will be my sixth colonoscopy and by now, it’s become quite a simple method to follow:

  • Stop eating for 24 hours+
  • Consume laxative doses and empty every last bit of substance from my body
  • Go to the Dr. Office, Get IV
  • Lay on left side & Take a 2-hour nap during procedure

I’m actually laughing to myself sitting up in bed as I think about this. It’s become somewhat “normal” for me every two years. Normal in the fact that, I know what to expect. In a really weird way, it also makes me appreciate what the body and mind are capable of adapting to. Think about this.

  • How hard is a marathon for a first timer? How does that compare to the mindset of someone who completed 20?
  • How hard is it to go without breakfast? How does this compare to someone who intermittent fasts 16-18 hours every day?
  • How hard is it to lose 10lbs.? How does this compare to a wrestler or fighter who does this on the regular?
  • How shocking is the “prep” for your 1st colonoscopy? How does this compare to a person going into his sixth?

With Perspective and Frequency, We Adapt

This whole process makes me think about the mind and body’s ability to adapt. But adaptation only comes once we choke down the 1st, big, fearful dose.

I look back at when I started riding my Peloton in the early winter months of 2021. The stats, the output, the rides…they’re laughable now (700 rides later). But I needed a jolt to get back into shape and lead a healthier lifestyle after the COVID lockdowns. Those first few rides, my pulse spiked along with my anxiety, because my body at the time couldn’t tell the difference between heartrate from panic and exercise. Now I’m programmed to jump on, ride like hell, sweat, and leave feeling accomplished and refreshed.

It’s Going to Suck

In her book, Bird by Bird, author Anne Lamott introduces the concept of “shitty first drafts”

All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts.

In any new endeavor, you’re very likely going to suck, or at least stumble along like you’re wearing two left shoes, and that’s OK. I’m trying to teach this to my son, but I’ll admit I struggle with this too. No one wants to look stupid! As for my son, he wants to be “good” at something immediately, but his young brain hasn’t quite learned that it takes work and effort and practice to refine a skill. Who am I kidding, I’m 41 and I’m starting to grasp it now!!! I WANT INSTANT RESULTS.

Cheers to Firsts!!

How did I get from writing about a colonoscopy adventure to thinking about mindset? I don’t know exactly, but I’m energized about the idea of taking on new things, because the second go at the effort will be better, smoother, and less anxious. The biggest tragedy will be never starting in the first place.

Do the first rep. Take the first jog. Eat the first smoothie. Mediate in the most shitty of ways. Write the first sentence. Make the first offer. The second step will surely be less daunting than the first.

If you needed more motivation, I stumbled upon this video coming out of my colonoscopy anesthesia and I’m happy I did:

Oh and do me a favor if you’re in your 40s or certainly 50s. Get a colonoscopy. It won’t kill you, and you can reposition it in your mind as a mental exercise (that could also save your life).

Finding Divine Inspiration: Fenway Park

Sometimes life nudges you ever so slightly. Other times, it hits you in the forehead with a two-by-four. My visit to Fenway Park on August 9, 2023 was more of the two-by-four variety.

Let me quickly set the stage. I was flying into Boston on 8/9 and a couple attempts at dinner reservations with clients fell through. Busy schedules won the day and I was left to navigate Beantown on my own for the evening.

The gentleman next to me on my flight happened to be wearing a Red Sox hat (not entirely unique on flights to Boston), but I did notice it, and it did cause me to pause and think more openly about the nights’ adventures.

I spent the next 90 seconds scouring Google for the Red Sox schedule. As luck would have it, they had a home game on the evening of 8/9 vs. the Kansas City Royals. It was about 5:30 at Logan airport and the game was set for a 7:10 first pitch. I needed to hustle.

To further constrain my schedule, the damn Sumner tunnel is under construction and closed, so my delivery from the airport to my hotel was going to be anything but expeditious. I was going to be cutting it very close, but I was going for it.

Next to StubHub. Ticket purchased (see below/and not insignificant)

Fenway Park is charming and entirely unique. The ticket I purchased happened to be in the “Royals Family Box” next to the son of KC Royals Infield Coach: Jose Alquacil. The son flew in from Washington D.C. to celebrate his Dad’s birthday that evening and watch him “work” with the Royals. Connections started to be made [Father/Son experiences]. The game provided very unique drama, as it was the game history was made when a ball off the bat of a Royals batter broke a scoreboard light on the Green Monster. I’ve watched a boatload of baseball, and I’ve never seen that!!!

Flash Back 30 Years

Fresh Fenway Sausage with Peppers and Onions

My first visit to Fenway was with my Dad about 30 years ago (give or take). I remember walking foul pole to foul pole to get all the vantage points of the historic stadium. I remember vividly the smell of freshly grilled sausages and peppers outside the stadium (Yes they still do this) and my Dad will quickly bring this up if asked about our Fenway experience.

Thinking about my experience the following morning, I felt a little like Ray Kinsella (played by Kevin Costner) in Field of Dreams when he felt implored to “kidnap” Terrance Mann and get him to attend a baseball game at Fenway. It’s almost eerie. Mind you…I did no kidnapping this evening.

Go the Distance

I grabbed a beer, a hot dog, and settled into the game on a marvelous New England summer evening. I’ll fast-forward to the end of the game where this all became somewhat euphoric for me. My wife and kids knew I’d be at the game, but as is customary for us when I’m gone, they call to FaceTime before bed. I think it helps put all of our minds at ease that we get to chat before the day closes and heavy eyes rest.

The call happened to come in during the final three outs of the game…so I answered it, seeing my two kids faces glued to the screen in awe of where Dad was. And it was LOUD!

But I figured what the hell, I’m going to let them see what I’m seeing. So Landon and I watched the last two outs together via FaceTime. Having made our first deep dive into baseball this summer, and spending endless hours playing catch, it only seemed right that we share this moment. I took a quick screenshot as it says so much about what I was soon to learn.

I was really watching two things as the Red Sox reliever Kenley Jansen closed out the Royals on that insignificant Wednesday night. One is the game, as a solo home run was given up in the top of the ninth, closing the score to a snug 4-3 Red Sox lead with only one out.

The second, more profound watch, was my son’s reaction to it all. He was in awe! The stadium, the view, the crowd, the energy, Dad’s new Red Sox hat. It’s why I so dearly love sports. It simply can’t be recreated. It was then, when I started to see my future unfold before me.

A New Path

I really love what I do. I love working with energetic, savvy clients and strategizing on campaigns. I love the creation of something “new” for a brand and seeing it unfold. I also love all the myriad of experiences and relationships its brought a kid from small town Iowa in his life. Travel opened up my mind to possibility, wonderful restaurants, entirely new cities and different ways of life.

Fenway Connected My Past and Future

I’ve been thinking about “retirement” since I was probably 22 and started working. Some could argue this is good and others could argue the opposite. Either way, a plan took shape early, and I’ve consistently reshaped it as the years provided new thinking and resources toward this goal. Never once have I considered waiting until 60 or years beyond to “call it quits.” It was always going to be “early” vs. normal standards.

The Goal isn’t Retirement, it’s Freedom

Now in my 40’s, I have a very different view. I don’t want to retire per se. After all, what am I going to do, sit around and golf every day?? Doesn’t sound entirely horrible…

I want freedom and I want to experience it with those I love. I want to visit clients in Boston, and have my son experience it with me. I want him to enjoy a fresh lobster roll in New England, and freshly caught seafood in Seattle. We’ll cheers Chicago dogs outside Wrigley and a beer after our round at Torrey Pines. We’ll chomp down cheese curds in Lambo Field and sip a great cabernet in Northern California. Mind you, I’ve done all these things and it only adds to my hunger to consume more experiences like this with my kids.

I very much want to blur the lines of the professional and personal. My recent Fenway experience brought that vision front and center. Yes, they will likely miss school…which was unheard of in my day. But the experiences they’ll encounter can’t be duplicated in the class room.

Thanks Fenway (and the $13 beers) for igniting my memories and being a driver to a bigger purpose and vision for the future.

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness?

I’m thinking about the latter of the words this Independence Day holiday. Happiness. Isn’t it odd, and sort of fitting these are the words from the well-penned script I’m thinking about from the declaration of Independence crafted in 1776?

Declaring Independence

How does one [declare independence] and how does it relate to happiness?

Let me set the scene. I’m sitting in my driveway in a small town in Iowa. Our neighborhood raises funds for those who live around the golf course for a private fireworks show (Shout out to Jordan Alborn for organizing!). As the benefactor of location, our driveway faces directly into the line of sight where the fireworks are shot off, and only a couple hundred yards away.

I was sitting in my chair, and 50 or so guests had joined. New friends and old alike. The driveway and street were jam packed with golf carts. Adults joined with a chilled cocktail, kids with glow sticks, a plentiful supply of bomb pops were displayed and patriotic music played as a backdrop to the festivities.

As the fireworks exploded and my daughter’s chin dripped red and blue of melted sugar, I just smiled…ear to ear. This is ‘it’ for me. This is happiness.

How did we get here?

About 8-10 years go in my journal I sketched out the plans for our family (The family that didn’t even fully exist yet). Where would we live? What would the house include? What would surround us? Let me tell you what I wrote!

  • We’d build a house on a golf course, golf cart in the garage, basketball hoop in the driveway
  • We’d have a large island in the kitchen for gathering
  • We’d have a rain shower head in the master bath (Yes I know it’s specific, but I wrote it)

There are many other details, but my point is two-fold. Define your happiness and do so with laser focused intention. But only do it for YOU! What we think about and write down, we manifest. The feelings I had the other night, felt like warm hug. A comforting nod that, “this is EXACTLY what you asked for,” now please, ENJOY!

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

I beg of my team and other peers I interact/coach with on a regular basis, “TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT” < – – – – and don’t lie!!! Tell me exactly what you want and do so with clear definition and vitality. I don’t personally care what it is, I only care that you know, and pursue it with all your might. It’s not up to me that it’s a farm with 20 acres, a lake front cabin or a Chicago high-rise condo with all the amenities. by the way, not everything is about housing. Think vacations, how you spend your time, and who you spend it with.

What do I do, if I don’t know?

Terrific question. Here are a few questions I’d challenge you with to help you aid in definition.

  • What gives you endless energy?
  • What activities really excite you? (think like Derek Sivers – if it isn’t a HELL YES…it’s a no)
  • Who do you enjoy being around? (energy builders vs. Energy takers)
  • Where do you feel like your best self?
  • What does it look like? Close your eyes and see it. Define it.

I’ve listened to Norman Vincent Peale’s audiobook, “The Power of Positive Thinking” hundreds of times. He speaks vividly on the word VITALITY. Pursuing your “happiness” will provide the vitality needed to continue on with your pursuit when roadblocks arise.

As we celebrate our nation’s independence, please also give thought to your own personal independence and pursuit of happiness!

Declaration with definition and intention!!

~God Bless America

My Results. My Intentions

The King of Pop stated it simply,

“I’m starting with the Man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways”

I am the Man in the Mirror. The reflection of the results I see, are a direct output of my intentions from 2022. David Goggins in his book, Can’t Hurt Me, spoke to himself through the reflection of his Accountability Mirror. The mirror doesn’t tell lies or have feelings or stories. The mirror and the reflection it produces only reflects the truth.

As I move forward into a new year, I will NOT be stating a New Year’s Resolution.

Instead, I’ll be writing down and reinforcing my intentions for the days and weeks ahead. Sum all these efforts together and I’ll have a year’s worth of progress.

Tony Robbins has a wonderful saying and I think it jumps off the page in relationship to this post.

We don’t get our shoulds…but we get our MUSTS!

Although this is obvious and I love it, I feel like intentions can sometimes be more subtle. Here are a few examples:

  • I “Never” miss an episode of ______________________ (that’s focus intention)
  • Wednesdays are my boys night where we meet up and have a cocktail (that’s time intention)
  • I’ve got to have the newest _________________ (that’s spend intention)
  • I always have a beer watching the game (that’s body/diet intention)
  • The 2nd Thursday of every month is date-night for my wife and I (that’s balance/relationship intention)
  • Wednesday mornings I time block to study and look deeper into my business (that’s time intention)
  • July is the month we always take a week-long family vacation (that’s balance intention)
  • I try to never miss a day without a green smoothie (that’s diet intention)

None are good. None are bad. They are simply focused choices.

We all have the same amount of time.

That’s the mindf*ck of it all. If you want to get super deep in the idea of time management listen to this Ed Mylett podcast [Respect and Protect Your Time] with guest Rob Dyrdek. Rob has gotten maniacal with the focused distribution of his most valuable resource: Time.

As I head into 2023, I’ll be refining my intentions for the the Warrior’s Way and making daily progress on: Body, Being, Balance, and Business.

If I start a post with MJ, I’ll end with MJ.

If you want to make the world a better place, better look at yourself and make a change

I know what I want and I’ll get after it with intention. Results are certain to follow.

Top 5 Posts of 2021

Reflecting back on 2021, I see a year of challenge, renewal and momentum.

Incase you’re not a subscriber (subscribe below), or even if you are, you might have missed out on one of these gems. This is a quick recap of my top 5 blog posts of 2021 based on readership and engagement. Selfishly speaking, it was a fun exercise pulling together this content. I hope you enjoy this curated list this holiday season.

TOP 5 POSTS of 2021:

  1. Earn Your Comfort – Happiness is NOT purchased through luxury, comfort and general ease. It’s purchased through progress and effort. Comfort is to be earned!
  2. Starting Over. Week 1. Day 1. – Habits win out over time. This post is a reflection on where my bad habits left me earlier in 2021 (in a bad place) and the consequent journey out of a challenging time in my life.
  3. The Four Pillars of Progress – This post unlocks my pillars to vitality. If I got only these four efforts right, the rest of life falls in line because my energy, output and sleep are aligned accordingly. The older I get, the more I’m focused on these efforts.
  4. Greenlights and Havard Business Review Collide – Life is undoubtably a journey of managing the +/- being thrown at us. At times, momentum is effortless and we “find our frequency” and flow in the journey. This post will help you pay attention to times when it is all clicking. Pay attention to what you’re doing, who you’re with and how you feel. Be on the lookout for your own Greenlights.
  5. Career Advice: Leave a Dent! – I made a large career change late in 2021. This change left me reflecting back on all the connections I’d made and the impactful moments I’d shared along the way. Business comes and goes, but we can always make sure to leave people with a lasting impact!

Looking forward into 2022 I will use the momentum generated from these posts to continue delivering my unique (Keen) perspective to the readers out there.

~Cheers to a healthy, wealthy and fulfilled new year!

Question Yourself. Why do I want this?

With the holiday season in full swing, the prominent question being asked, texted, emailed and discussed is, “What do you want for Christmas?”

I’d like to pursue wealth.

Let that sink in for a moment. Kind of tough to put wrapping paper around that one…let alone find a box.

Now read the thought below from Epictetus (Shared by Ryan Holiday on The Daily Stoic).

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants"

The more I think about the blinding commercial spirit of Christmas in 2021, the more I can come up with a seemingly long list of unnecessary “things” I desire this year.

Mind you, I’m nearly 40…so the secret of Santa is out, and having a Christmas list at my age is a touch ridiculous.

But, what if instead of pursuing a Christmas wishlist, we removed the holiday seasonality from the original ask and thought more broadly and simply.

What do I want?

I’m going to give you a short list of considerations on my list and more importantly HOW I’m thinking about them. Having spent two decades in the world of marketing, I’m consistently reminded of the true power and trance like pull of BRANDING and the stories we tell ourselves about needs, wants and value.

The considerations listed below are what I believe are those really nice to have, but certainly not necessary things I think many of us think about, and sometimes pine over.

  • Transportation – I’ve looked and looked and looked at purchasing a “fancier” car. Specifically I’ve looked into a BMW our Audi purchase a few times (maybe a few too many). The vehicle would be sleek, stylish, and downright sexy with European styling and finishes. Truth be told, it wouldn’t break the bank and “I’ve earned it”…right? Then I start asking the hard question. WHY DO I WANT IT? At the end of the day it’s really just transportation and I have more than suitable means anyway. I guess I’m thinking I’d earn a bit of prestige or steal a look from onlookers as I roll by, but that’s really just ego talking. I’m convinced it could make me happier and possibly even grow my confidence…but how long would that luster last? A week, maybe two? Then I’d just be paying for a depreciating asset that gets me from [A – – > B] just the same as my Grand Cherokee…which is perfectly functional. I’ll set this one aside for now for I believe although I may enjoy it, I don’t know if it will truly make me happier or more fulfilled.
  • Watch – Any self respecting achieving man and Ray Donovan viewer knows you need a badass watch on your wrist if you’ve “made it” in life. If you’re really CRUSHING IT, you’ll have a few to choose from laying nicely in a finely finished wooden collectors box. I fashioned myself in a Rolex or a Tag Heuer “timepiece” (not a watch…DUH). Then I start asking the hard question. WHY DO I WANT IT? At first I was going to commemorate a business deal. It would carry with it a STRONG sense of achievement. A timeless reminder of pursuit and accomplishment. But really, at the end of the day a (functioning) watch tells time. Does anyone I’m interacting with on a daily basis care how I get the time? Doubtful. I’ve chosen to pass on this one for now as well and I’m not sure if I ever get there.

I’d like to state I have absolutely no ill will for those driving luxury cars or wearing a fine timepiece. I hope they love them and the love their decisions. It’s also important to note, I have ZERO idea how any of these people arrived at their purchase decision, nor is it up to me! Cheers to you! Celebrate it.

That said, this isn’t a post about things. It’s a post about thoughts regarding things. For me, this is when I go back and read the words of Epictetus.

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.

I can’t say if I’m “wealthy” by Epictetus’ definition, but I’m certainly in pursuit. After all, I still have wants. They find me almost every day. Maybe they’re not wants, maybe they’re desires. But I’m able to step back and think critically through them without being pulled by the strong tethers of emotion.

Furthering on this thought, the stoics are masters at positioning. Being mindful of what things really are when they are distilled down to their essence. Marcus Aurelius summarizes it perfectly in this quote,

“How good it is when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this is the dead body of a bird or pig; and again, that the Falernian wine is the mere juice of grapes, and your purple edged robe simply the hair of a sheep soaked in shell-fish blood!

I enjoy life and appreciate indulging in the “finer things” as much as the next. But they won’t own me, for that wouldn’t fulfill my wishful Christmas ask. True wealth sits not in a number or stuff. Wealth is about FREEDOM.

Happy Holidays!

Earn Your Comfort

I used to think the goal of life was to seek or retire into comfort. Some would do this at 45, others maybe 75…but retire nonetheless. Comfortable. In the meantime during the pursuit, I’d take some time out of every week to be…comfortable.

I’m now convinced this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The goal of life is continued progress. Working through hard things, for the benefit of personal growth and progress.

Someday when I do retire, I want to arrive there knowing it was EARNED.

“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Unearned or continued comfort is called laziness. Reminds me of the Seven Deadly Sins and the sin of Sloth.
But sloth isn’t only laziness, it is also carelessness, unwillingness to act, half-hearted effort, or becoming easily discouraged by possible difficulty.

When Everything is Satisfaction

Too much of a good thing, connects my thoughts to the often used analogy of the “rich kid, with a cocaine habit!” Everything given to him, such that he works for nothing, appreciates nothing, is motivated by nothing because there was no struggle to achieve what was gifted (in this instance, money and time). Instead of work and progress toward a goal, he focuses his efforts and energy on a substance that gives him that lonely “high” he’s searching for. That comfort and release he’s been so desperately looking for. When everything is satisfaction and easy, satisfaction is unearned and empty.

Friday Feels

There is something really wonderful about a Friday evening after you’ve made the most of a week kicking ass Monday through Friday. Earning the opportunity to have a great dinner, or a cocktail, or simply to put your feet up, feels infinitely better when reflecting on progress of a week vs. just moving through the motions.

Challenge Comfort with Progress

Tony Robbins says, “Progress equals Happiness!” This is exactly what I think “earning comfort” looks like. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Say it out loud. It FEELS DAMN GOOD! It feels like momentum. This is exactly why successful people continue to be successful oftentimes in greater magnitudes. They’ve generated tremendous momentum and they literally can’t be stopped. Successful people generate too much momentum and have reservoirs of progress to tap into when they hit a lull.

Rich Roll Said it Best

I shared this in my last post, and I think it’s worth sharing here again. Rich Roll on happiness.

Rich Roll says the following: “We’re in a culture that is driving everybody toward this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury, comfort and ease. And the truth could not be more different from that reality. If you want to find peace with yourself, self understanding, self knowledge, self esteem, all of these things are going to be found through: sacrifice, getting uncomfortable, re-evaulating what your normal is and putting yourself in situations you don’t want to f*cking do” “RICH ROLL PODCAST – EPISODE 413”


The Answer in Children’s Eyes

I’ll leave you with this. My son is currently learning how to read real books and it’s an exciting engagement every night we dive into a book (< – – – insert challenge). We work with him every week on learning new words from school, but this isn’t about learning “level 3 words” as much as it is about feels to me. The reaction a child produces when they learn something new is astounding. You can literally see the spark in their eyes, and their physiology changes in an instant due to the challenge just conquered. The world is theirs for a moment! More importantly, momentum is earned and stored to tackle the next phase of learning and the next challenge.

We’re all evolved children. You need that spark. I need that spark. We must combat boredom with progress and earn our comfort.