More of This. Less of That

I’m getting the strong feeling as I get older…life continues to get a little easier. Not in the sense where everything layeth down in front of me at any wish. No. More so the fact that I’m REALLY beginning to understand what I do, and the direct impact these actions will have on my life (both positively and negatively).

Do you? If not, I’d really like you to consider spending a few minutes on the content below. 

I’m paying a great deal of attention to what makes me operate at a high level and also what truly brings me joy. What do I put in my body? Where do I spend time? What am I reading or listening to? Personally and professionally.

Conversely, I also know what brings me down and empties the tank. What wrecks my body and energy levels? 

All that said, I’ve put together a couple of lists.  What makes me feel great (do more of), what takes away from my energy or health (less of that).

Less of That: Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate. 

  • Fried Food: only in limited moderation. Albeit delicious, it simply doesn’t make me feel good that day, or the next. It also wreaks havoc on my finicky stomach and UC symptoms. Pretty easy to limit this intake with a little will power.
  • Alcohol: no hard alcohol for me. My body can’t take it. I still love to consume a cold beer or a glass of wine, but no liquor for me. Same goes here. My body doesn’t process it or handle it well. Moving on!  
  • Over investing in flaky relationships: You all know one or two. I’m done pouring energy into something expecting some sort of return, knowing it won’t happen. Again. It’s too exhausting. Once you know…no one’s fault beyond my own at this point. 
  • Busyness: I’m working on this one. Being plugged in “most” of the time is a real challenge. I think its a challenge to family, overall health, and wellbeing. I can definitely be a prisoner to my own ambition, so I’ve got to really be aware of this. Being honest, I’ll probably get out of whack occasionally, so I’ve got to have checks and balances in place to reset.
  • Negativity & a Focus on Outcomes I can’t control. I’m growing more and more tired of negativity. I’m also growing tired of the endless worry toward things so many dimensions beyond control.  Worry for the sake of worry.
  • Pursuit of Stuff: I’ve really got about all I want or need in life. I’m not interested in watches, or cars, or compiling needless stuff. Give me experiences and freedom of time and space. 

Now for the good stuff. 

More of This: Make the time. Invest the Energy! The dividends far exceed the investment

  1. Meditation: Frequency minimum 15x monthly. Or roughly every other day at minimum. It’s so simple and the benefits (I feel) are obvious on so many levels in my life. It’s a real force multiplier for me. I’m happier. I sleep better. My joints don’t hurt. I’m better with my kids. Any anxiety is small at best. I’m more creative and in flow with anything coming my way. Did I mention I’m Happier! 
  2. Church: Frequency minimum 3x month (or 3 of 4 Sundays a month). Again, I just feel better. I’m not really sure how to put this any other way or more simply. I feel better. Clear thoughts and maybe even a more clear conscience. 
  3. True Connection at a higher Level: I want to continue to elevate my peer and friend network. I will absolutely jump at the idea of connecting with other business leaders, business starters, and all around achievers…who also have clarity in their pursuit. It feels like fuel to me and every time I do this, i walk away energized and with a slew of ideas.
  4. Exercise and Steps: I don’t know why, but I’m fully into the 10,000 steps a day or else march. It’s helping bake in a quick walk or jog/run throughout the day. Although it’s a simple metric, it’s one where the divided is simple yet extremely valuable. Get up. Get on the move! This would also involve knocking out daily pull-ups, push ups, or maybe a few kettle bell swings. 
  5. Retreat to the Water: I’ve said it many times to my wife. Growing up and living in the midwest, a couple times a year you have to “go to the water”.  I don’t know why, but it’s good for my soul. I’ve got to bake these times into my calendar well in advance. No excuse not to. I’ve got thousands of airline miles and thousands of hotel points. Cost is NOT the issue. I need to get to the coasts or to the beach.  
  6. Time with Friends: Again ask my wife. If I haven’t had some interaction with close friends in too long of a stretch, I get antsy. Maybe even grumpy. OK, totally grumpy. I crave interaction even at the most basic level. It could be a night out for dinner, or a driveway, a fire pit, and a cooler of cold ones. Either works magic.
  7. Alone time: I get you are probably shaking your head at this or maybe even raising a curious eyebrow. If you’re thinking I’m getting selfish, I am…but hear me out. Some of the best thinking and exploration of self awareness has come when I’ve been alone and gotten brutally honest with myself. Alone time. An empty pad of paper and some music. Nothing else and certainly no expectations. 

Make your list and pay attention to it. I actually have a simple matrix to keep track of the essential. Helps me course correct before I get too far off the beaten path.

ACTION ITEM: Focus on the right inputs and the wheel of momentum always seems to turn faster. I know it does for me.

Lessons From a 2am Turkey Sandwich

Seeing all these posts on the 10-Year Challenge made me think back to a decade ago in my career, and the terrific leadership lesson I learned from a gas station turkey sandwich…at 2am nonetheless.

You know what isn’t a good idea?

A gas station turkey sandwich. At 2am in northern Massachusetts. Not that Massachusetts has a lot to do with it, but it is where it all started.

A coworker (Josh Beckner) and I were flying out east to meet a client in New Hampshire. The following day I hoped to transition account responsibility. As is customary for winter travel we were delayed. And delayed. And delayed.

We landed at Boston Logan Airport shortly after midnight and I was starving. At that moment, I was willing to eat just about anything.

We picked up our rental car and headed north for the granite state. One stop along the way found us at an interstate gas station and me wolfing down a turkey sandwich. I probably had a little mayo on my cheek I ate it so fast. I couldn’t tell you how long the sandwich had been there, or if there was even a date on the packaging. Didn’t matter. My raging appetite subsided.

Fast forward to the following day.

We had a meeting with a great client of ours and a celebration was in order that night for goals we’d achieved together from the previous year. About 10:30am (so I remember it), it hit me. There are many names for what happened. I’ll simply call it one of the worst days of my life.

Montezuma’s Revenge!!! 

I probably went to the bathroom about 25 times that day, and I wish I was exaggerating. After you go about five times breaking up a meeting with a client, people start to notice. When you hit 20…a few began to worry. Things were not going well.

By noon I was worthless. Exhausted. Sore, empty, and embarrassed. All I could do was get back to my hotel and lay on the bathroom floor in the fetal position hoping, praying for it all to end.

The rest of the day was up to Josh.

You’re probably wondering, what could I possibly learn from this?

I’ll tell you.

#1 Gas Station Turkey – Pass. Pass. Pass. Always and forever pass on this as a viable food option. That or deal with the following day’s worth of diarrhea awaiting you.

#2 Sometimes a 2am turkey sandwich gives you the motivation you need to get out of your own way.

I was in Josh’s way. I didn’t get out of his way til I was nearly incapacitated. Josh is a great comrade. Well spoken and always prepared to a fault.  And may I add, always impeccably dressed. He handled and ran that meeting likely better than I ever would’ve. He’s gone on to be very successful in his career with Honda Motor Company because of these very attributes and I’m not the least bit surprised.

The client relationship transferred that very day, because there was no other viable option. There was no other choice.

While I’m not going to recommend going through the pain I did to receive this revelation, I do offer you this advice.

Where are you standing in the way of someone else progress? Where could you take a “2am Turkey Sandwich” break and let others be great with a challenge or opportunity? Give them the responsibility and let them IMPRESS THE HELL out of you!

Ten years later I’d like to tell you I’ve gotten better at this. Not perfect, or the best, but certainly progressing with experience.

ACTION ITEM: Let people be great. Let them surprise you. There will always be the need to earn this opportunity, but understand when enough is enough. Get out of the way and grow others through a challenge of their own. A challenge they’re asking for.

 

 

It’s Up to You

This year. This resolution. This habit. Whatever it is that’s hot in your mind right now…is up to you!

I chose to not wait for the new year to start my first habit/quest of 2019. I just finished listening to the book Mini Habits by Stephen Guise. It was recommended by the CEO of Traeger Grills Jeremy Andrus. (Thanks Scott Empringham for the recommendation!)

Starting on Dec. 26th, I began on a mission to complete 1,000 pull ups. As fast as possible, but with the minimum of 10 per day. The bar is in my basement. There is no real excuse standing in my way. Sooner I get to 1,000 the better. Every pull up completed gets a mark on the wall. I’m already past 150!

I often reflect back to Slight Edge principles when setting a target like this.

Easy to Do. Easy NOT to do.

Broken down into a daily mini-habit it is merely 10 a day, and that’s the bitch of it. It’s only 10 a day until I establish enough momentum to do 20, then 30, then who knows. But even at 10 a day I’ll be done by the end of February, and 1,000 pull ups into 2019. Nice little start to the year.

Do you know how long it takes me to do 10 pull ups? Probably 20 seconds. Maybe 30. It’s a joke if I don’t complete this by the end of January and yet that’s the funny thing about resolutions.

I’ll try and find reasons or days NOT to do it. It will be up to me!

Oddly enough, a friend of mine sent me a snap yesterday on New Year’s day sweating on his treadmill. Said he’s on a mission to run 1,000 miles this year…asked if I wanted in. I let him in on my 1,000 pull up challenge and here we are, already pushing each other along.

But here is the punch line. He’s not going to get my job done for me and I’m not going to run the miles for Josh. It’s up to me. It’s up to him.

Whatever stands in front of you in 2019 is going to be up to you. It’s not on your boss, or your spouse, or your team, or your kids, or your clients, or anyone other than you. If you get help along the way, fantastic!  But don’t count on it. Get there anyway.

ACTION ITEM: It’s up to me…so its up to me. Write it down, and go for it!

Ask me how I’m progressing toward my 1,000 goal. I can’t wait to tell you.

 

 

The Value of Playing Up

I can probably tell you when and where it happened.

I was back for only a few of days over Christmas break of my freshman year of college. I was playing basketball at the time and spent the last four months playing with guys who we former all-staters, but were now all-Americans. I was an 18, they were 21 and 22. Big difference. My learning curve was steep.

I played a few pickup games in the time home as was customary over Christmas break. After all, I’m always in the mood to get buckets. But this time something was different. The game had changed. It not only slowed down, but it was just easier as my perspective shifted.

I’m talking BIG change. Not small incremental change.

You ever wonder why the middle or youngest brother turns out to be the REALLY good one? I have zero stats or data to back this up, but I suspect it is true because he spent his entire life “playing up” and getting worked by his older brothers.

Would you like another example?

Things changed drastically in my career when I was 24 and started working with a nationally managed retail organization. Their game and demands elevated what I needed to deliver to continue adding value to the relationship. I quickly began to understand what it took to operate “successfully” at their level, and what expectations came with it. I needed to get better. The good news is, I could see and feel what that looked like.

With all that said, how can you start playing up today?  Or better put, what would that look like?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get in a room with people better than you. These people have been “there” before.  There = where you want to go!
  • In golf speak, if you shoot in the 70’s you’ve got to run with the guys consistently shooting in the 60’s. Find out how they do it?
  • Are you a director? Get in the room, in a pitch, in a strategy session with a VP or President. How do they think or influence people?
  • Are you an educator looking to be an administrator? Spend time with someone who walked the same path and is a principal.
  • My wife was a good runner. Her suggestion, find a new pace. Find a new group to speed you up! A PR (personal record) awaits.
  • Imagine being a chess prodigy, and sitting with a grand master.
  • Find a new peer group. You ever heard the saying “there’s always another guy with a bigger boat?” Find that guy and who he hangs out with.

Playing up means involving yourself in a new game. A game outside your current comfort zone. Success may or may not come quickly. Embrace the ability to understand where you can improve to play at their “new” level.

Newsflash. You’re going to get knocked back. I’ve had it happen numerous times and I hope it continues. Nothing wrong with a little humility and appreciation for the competition.

It doesn’t mean your current skillset isn’t worthy, or isn’t valuable. It very likely is. It means the pursuit continues.

ACTION ITEM: Get lost in the pursuit of playing up! The rest will come.

I’m Great vs. We Are Great

It’s a natural progression I guess…

I started out in my career like any ambitious 22 year old can. Do the absolute best “I” can, to show others I’m worthy. Looking back there is a great deal of insecurity in this thinking and lifestyle.

I would do whatever it took and wherever it took me to be perceived as great at what I did. I’m really not even sure why, but I could almost say there was a chip on my shoulder. I really don’t know how it even got there… and I’m also not really sure it will ever go away!

I was going to win. For me.

There’s an interesting naiveness to it all. I really didn’t know what I didn’t know. But I was going to PROVE something to someone. I’m convinced looking back now some of this energy was misdirected.

Maybe it’s the competitive nature in me (ok, super competitive). I did what any hyper-competitive young adult would do. I wrote down goals and kept them on my dresser. They consisted of:

  • Become the youngest Account Executive the company ever had (by 24)
  • Make $100,000 in annual income (as that’s what the big boys were making…so I thought )
  • Sell a BIG client on my own. (Thinking back who was going to commit a $1 million/year to a 24 year old who looked 18? Didn’t matter)

I achieved them all. Somehow I had it figured out. <Insert chest pounding after scoring a TD dance>

In hindsight, I really didn’t know anything.

Fast forward 15 years and I now spend a great deal of time thinking about being the tide vs. the boat (a high tide raises all ships). I’ve also grown much more self aware in the process.

In my 20’s, my confidence was inflated…as young men in their 20’s usually are. Any confidence I have today is the result of truly understanding WHO I am, and who I am not. No easy journey on that path. I’ve had a lot of people help me with this along the way and appreciate their honesty and intrepid spirit to share candidly what could only make me better as a person, friend, leader, parent, father, or husband.

I’m starting to think a great deal more about legacy and a vision for the future both personally and professionally. Legacy is a great beacon for where our decisions will take us.

Looking back on my career I’ve experienced many wins. I’m positive there will be many many more. After all, 40 is still a long ways away!

But those individual wins aren’t the most fulfilling. I smile ear to ear thinking back to times I’ve seen others win. Big wins. Personal breakthroughs. Team wins. People stepping out of their comfort zone to contribute. Those scenarios truly FILL me up with gratitude.

No doubt I’ll continue to work on myself and getting every ounce of talent I can out of my abilities. I’m wired this way and shutting it off would be equivalent to asking a fish to stop swimming.

To add one last bit of color to this post, I’d like to clarify the “We” of this framework. We isn’t only my Mindstream Media team at work, although it is important we continue to grow and succeed together. It’s my family and friends. My peer group. Community leaders I’m fortunate enough to work with. We need to be great!

ACTION ITEM: More valuable that WE are great, vs. I’m Great.

 

Understanding Discipline Through the Eyes of Nick Saban

Rather fitting this post is about discipline.

I’ve been undisciplined in my effort to share quality thoughts and content at a frequency I’d be proud of to the group. I have no excuse for that.

This one’s for you Scotty M.! Thanks for the recent words of encouragement and the nudge to get it going.

The last couple weeks when traveling I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the Origins Podcast by James Andrew Miller. Specifically I’ve listened and re-listened to the Nick Saban episodes probably four times.

As with most books I read, and podcasts I listen to, I’m left with one powerful thought when I finish. Ok, that’s not really fair. Really it was two thoughts from this series. That said, both thoughts revolve around discipline from the hall of fame coach.

The first thought is how Saban defines discipline. He believes discipline does NOT exist to punish. Discipline (and I believe it is his wife Terry who says this) exists only to change behavior. Think about that for a moment. If you don’t change behavior…discipline is useless.

The second powerful thought on discipline comes from a story, told by ESPN reporter Tom Rinaldi. To better illustrate the story, coach Saban demonstrates the two sides of discipline with two hands when speaking to Tom.

  1. Left Hand – Saban holds up his left hand. On this hand is something you really want to do, but you KNOW you shouldn’t do. Can you keep yourself from doing it?
  2. Right Hand – On the other hand is something you really DON’T want to do…but you know you need to do. Can you MAKE yourself do it.

That is Discipline.

That is life. Choices. Left hand vs. right.

ACTION ITEM: We may not lead lives of perfection. But paying attention to Nick’s demonstration of the left hand and right hand of discipline will lead us down a quality path.

Get Comfortable Calling Yourself Out

Some call it feedback.

Others call it disapproval, criticism, or even “constructive” criticism. No matter what, I haven’t met too many people who love getting negative feedback. Yet, none of us are immune to criticism. That said, how do you react to it?

Instead of the feedback coming from external sources, how about getting comfortable with it coming from within.

Every major change I’ve encountered in my last 10 years is the direct result of calling myself out. Essentially in not so many words saying, “Really!?!? Maybe that’d be the case…if you weren’t full of shit!”

This is where transformation occurs. As the saying goes, being sick and tired of being sick and tired. When it comes from outside, it can be shrugged off, and often times it is. When it comes from within, the fire to change burns soooooo much hotter.

Where did this happen in my life? I’ll tell you a few examples. 

Career: A few years back I talked about doing something BIG with my career. Somewhere other than the place I was at. Problem was, my action didn’t match my words. I had empty intentions. Enough people told me I was bright, talented, and driven, so the story I was telling made sense. But my action didn’t match reality. It was the Fall of 2014 when I called myself out. In January of 2015 I started a new challenge and started cashing the checks I was writing with my words.

Addiction: I’m an addict. Not in the sense I’m a recovering drug addict or an alcoholic, but I have a very addictive personality. I had a nasty habit with tobacco that turned into what I’d consider an addiction lasting a few too many years. My wife asked me to quit many times. Why didn’t that work?

Looking back now it is so gross thinking about it, but it wasn’t until I got really serious and borderline angry with myself in the process of quitting. I can tell you the day (I have a weird way of remembering these things) and I also wrote it down in my journal at the time. 

Sept. 10th, 2011 I knew it was done. I was at Jerry and Connie Davis’ lovely farmhouse watching the Iowa State vs. Iowa football game. I was about 4-5 days into my 2nd attempted “quit”, having a panic attack watching a football game. The lack of nicotine had my body short circuiting. I’d never felt so awful in my life, and that got my complete attention.

Diet: When I was 27 I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (an autoimmune disease of the colon). I’d never felt so terrible in my life from the inside out. What needed changing was my lifestyle and diet. I was traveling a great deal, not eating well, and just wasn’t looking after myself the way I needed to. I quit the dip. Stopped (for the most part) eating fired food. No more hard alcohol. Funny thing happened.  I started to feel a ton better and have even been able to get off the medication i was initially prescribed. The disease may never go away, but I’m now the one in control when previously it was the other way around.  I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

There is something invigorating and powerful about calling your own shots. Especially when the shots are fired internally. No one else to blame.

I read this a long time ago and forgive me as I’m not sure where,

“If it’s up to you…then it’s up to you!”

ACTION ITEM: Father Time is undefeated. Instead of carrying around buckets of regret, get comfortable calling yourself out! Make the change that needs making.

Live With Intention

Your life is a reflection of your intentions. 

People who live with intention, get what they want. Over, and over, and over again.

If I asked, “are you happy?” right now in your life, I believe your answer closely correlates with the level of intention you associate in your everyday life and your choices.

A life lived day to day, simply keeping the car between the white lines will no doubt travel…but to where? How will you know when you get there? Or what happens when you passed your destination altogether?

Contrast that with a person who KNOWS where they are going. Every day driving closer and closer to attainment. Even if incrementally. I believe happiness is 100% related to personal progress. The opposite is staleness, and staleness leads to boredom. Boredom is one of the absolute worst words a person can associate with. Very bad weeds grow from the seeds of boredom.

How can you become more intentional on your individual pursuit?

  • Be intentional about getting uncomfortable with new challenges
  • Be intentional about who you spend your time with
  • Be intentional about your spiritual journey
  • Be intentional about where you want to live
  • Be intentional about your continued education
  • Be intentional about your body and what you can and can’t put in it
  • Be intentional with your money

I would not be intentional in the pursuit of possessions. I understand the pursuit of a Ferrari, but I believe in the end it will be unfulfilling…because I’ll want a newer one. There will always be a newer watch, a nicer car, or as the saying goes, “there’s always bigger boat.”

How is intention being reflected in my own life?

The last couple years I’ve gotten more and more intentional about my education to become a real estate investor/owner/operator. My journey continues down a path with this very focused intention. I have a goal of reaching a target monthly income (TMI) generated from these efforts.

This spring I found myself frustrated with my progress toward my goals and so I did what I preach to others. Play offense and make my intentions known to others. I want to know how I can get to where I want to go, by helping peers obtain their intentions. Make it known…and doors will open. Open doors deliver opportunity and possibly even more importantly…they deliver ENERGY!

I’ve said it hundreds of times. Funny what happens when you let the world in on your vision, your hopes and your dreams. Doors open, introductions are made, progress ensures. Back on track.

ACTION ITEM: Act with intention! Get a pen and get serious about what you really want out of your life, your relationships, and your time. Write it down. I’ve lived it and I’ve seen the better part of progress.

PS – I’m super excited for my next post, or maybe it will be the one after. I’ve been working on showcasing how you can bring your intentions to life visually and through a lens of accountability.

 

Grocery Store Growth

I really like getting groceries.

But, I also like to do it at 7am on Saturday morning, with earphones in and an old school hand-written shopping list in my pocket. I talk to no one as I’m usually buried deep in my own internal conversation or lost in an idea.

Why on earth would I get groceries at 7am on a Saturday?

It’s built in learning time and its systematic.

You see, getting groceries is a somewhat passive or attention-lacking action for me (just ask my wife when I come home with the wrong stuff! Haha!!). In reality, the act of getting groceries is 30-45 minutes of uninterrupted learning time for me to digest a podcast or a recent audio book.

It’s also hard to run into people with my cart when I’m the only when there and not paying full attention!

Even if my week is a complete disaster of a nightmare, there is always Saturday morning and it usually comes with the need to get groceries. I’ve even used this quiet time to listen to a recorded presentation delivered by yours truly. You’d be amazed what you pick up on when you take the time to listen to yourself present!

Don’t have enough time?

Bullshit!

I’d recommend you start to get groceries. Or mow the lawn. Or find one of 10 other mostly passive activities you engage in on a weekly basis to build in some learning time. Here are a few more I’ve been able to build in education time.

  • Daily Exercise
  • Your commute (car, train, bus)
  • Folding the Laundry <—– I HATE folding laundry…but this helps pass the time
  • Travel – if you have any work travel you have dozens of hours at your disposal
  • Doing the Dishes
  • Lunch Hour
  • Shoveling Snow (for you Northern climates in the winter)

Lastly, the choice is entirely up to you on WHAT you listen to. I get everyone needs the freedom to unplug from time to time or to take in a little entertainment. But you can’t always be looking to unplug, while simultaneously complaining you’re not advancing in your career the way you should.

ACTION ITEM: Prioritize what goes in your ears to feed your brain! Next stop, the grocery store.