It Feels Good to Smile

Kobe. His Daughter Gianna. 

It was all too tragic on Sunday. A legend, his daughter and 7 others lost too soon. We’ve all seen the news. It’s unavoidable.

I grew up in the MJ era, so it wasn’t like Kobe was “my guy,” but yet I was upset. I was watching the PGA tour event at Torrey Pines when I saw the news on my phone.

My wife asked, “how do you feel?” 

“Heartbroken,” I said. But not entirely sure why. Why do I feel this way?

“It’s ok to cry,” she said. “You do know you can cry. Let it out.” 

Why was I upset? I got to thinking:

  • A legend, a basketball icon lost too soon. A man I hoped to see in old age. Similar to how I see Bill Russell today. 
  • Be was 41. I’m soon to be 38
  • He has kids and a young daughter almost the same age as my daughter. 
  • Leaves behind a wife (Vanessa)
  • He’ll never get to deliver the hall of fame speech he deserved 
  • Jerry West was beside himself. I have tremendous respect for Jerry. “The Logo” of the NBA and fierce competitor felt deep sorrow in the loss of his friend and Laker comrade. I think he saw himself in Kobe
  • And on and on… 

Yesterday (Monday), I was just somber. I just felt sad for the entire situation.

The thought I struggled with most and continue to, is the thought of that helicopter going down, and what do you say or prepare your daughter for….sitting along side you in those last fatal moments. That WRECKED me. 

As a parent I’m fine going out on my own. No one ever wants to go too soon. But with your child, your protege, at your side…that hurts. 

Monday moved on into Monday night and that’s where I found a smile. 

I was watching the Wisconsin vs Iowa basketball game and saw a post that ESPN would be reairing Kobe’s final game. His 60 point night of artistry that would complete his NBA career tapestry. 

Immediately I changed channels only to watch him start 0-5. That was painful. I knew the damn script and I was struggling through it.  C’mon Kobe, put the ball in the bucket.

Then a shot dropped. Then a layup. Then another. He was finding his legs. Three straight.

I’ve said this many times, but basketball was my first love. Now I’ll never know what it was like to be in the stratosphere with Kobe, but I could score and I knew what it felt like to get H-O-T.  Bucket. Bucket. Buckets!!

I was drawn in with the broadcast. 

I found myself rooting for an ending in a script that was already written.  Like cheering for Andy Dufresne to escape Shawshank. We know the ending.

I appreciated him. His work. His drive. His final chapter.

When he had 45, and was going for 50 I was drawn in. When he hit 53, I was sitting on the floor but up on my haunches…leaning in. Asking for 60!

He had that look in his eyes.

He hit 60, and I smiled. 

Ear to ear, I smiled. 

I smiled and I felt a little peace. That’s what he was put on this earth to do, and for a moment I forgot the tragedy, and remembered, even participated in his greatness. 

I put my kids to bed last night and knew that next day I’d be heading out of town for a quick business trip. Not irregular in the least, but it felt oh so different this time. 

I’d be lying to you if these events didn’t make me pause. Slow down. Appreciate.

I looked at my kids differently on Monday night, and today as they headed out the door. Different in a more clear way. Different in a more appreciative and thankful way.

I hate that these events do that, but it’s true and I won’t hide from it. 

This tragedy brings into perspective the reminder we hate to hear. Life is short, and it must be cherished.

Don’t forget to smile! No matter where it comes from.

Rest in peace Kobe & Gianna.

Ditch New Year’s Resolutions for This!

It’s that time of year again. New Year. New Start. Even a new decade to press the reset button!

Image result for restart button

I think the reset button is a good thing.

Conversely, I think New Year’s resolutions are a tremendous waste of time. 

Lets face it…they’ve been proven not to work. Over, and over, and over again. Over 90% fail.  < – – – – That’s NOT good.

I’ve been wickedly fortunate in my career to have the ability to interact with some incredibly successful business and business leaders. What do businesses use to ensure they’re on track? 

I can promise you one thing, they don’t set New Year’s resolutions. 

They keep score of key business metrics. The good ones have a SCORECARD. A simple set of KEY metrics driving their business. 

So, that’s exactly what I’ve done here. Created my own personal scorecard. This scorecard is slightly different though. My scorecard is based on operational excellence personally. Optimal health, sleep, reduced stress, effective exercise, and so on.

What critical efforts do I need to invest in, so that I continue to  operate in a peak state?  For me, I’ve narrowed it down into four simple actions and appropriate monthly frequencies needed to be operating at a high level. 

  1. Meditation – Pretty simple. I stretch and work a breathing routine before bed…I sleep better. Period.  Better sleep, better attitude, better energy, better mood! Every other day and I’ll be operating at 100%
  2. Exercise – Kid’s schedules and travel can make this difficult, but 10 is VERY doable for me. Tired for all the right reasons leads to better sleep. See points above 
  3. Church – This is quite honestly good for my soul. I’m more at ease after I attend church. Certainly more grateful and more appreciative for all the blessings my family has. Goal is three out of four weeks a month
  4. Books – This one keeps me learning and fresh. Keeps me curious and generating new ideas from the lessons learned elsewhere.  One hard copy to turn pages and take notes, and one audible copy to knock out while exercising or traveling. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Scorecard-2.png

If you’re curious what “peak state” is for me it is pretty simple.  Optimal energy, derived from solid sleep, at the result of a really fulfilling and challenging day. 

My scorecard helps to: eliminate stress, reduce inflammation in my body, challenge me mentally and physically, and keeps me accountable in a highly visual way (< – – – Which I’m ALL about!!). Get selfish. This is about you! 

Complete a task, cross it off. 

ACTION ITEM: Ditch the resolution! Think, what makes me operate at a high level?  What do I need and at what frequency? No more than five critical efforts.

I’m going to bet if you give it a little thought, you’ll find it. 

What Do John Harbaugh & Kirk Ferentz Know About Reinvention?

Two legendary coaches. Two different journeys. Two wonderful examples of what reinvention can do for a career. Especially when your back is against the wall.

I got to thinking about these two great leaders after watching Lamar Jackson and the Baltimore Ravens torch NFL teams in the final weeks of November. Soon they’d find themselves atop the AFC standings. How did they get here?

How did the Ravens get here after benching Super Bowl winning quarterback Joe Flacco just a short year ago? What a tough decision!

John Harbaugh, a Super Bowl winning coach…was on the hot seat. Is it time to fire John Harbaugh the Baltimore faithful asked?

It was time for reinvention. The drafting of a duel threat QB, retooling the offense mid-season, and getting more “analytics” involved in their real-time game decision making.

Comparatively, in 2014 the University of Iowa and head coach Kirk Ferentz were coming off a very mediocre 7-6 season which included a blowout bowl loss to Tennessee. The fan base was ready to move on.

The votes were in. FIRE FERENTZ < – – – the articles said. This one specifically rang in the new year of 2015.

Stay the course and persevere? Or change? Sweeping change!

Changes in the staff, practice schedules, more aggressive play calling on 4th down, and a new QB led Iowa to their first ever undefeated 12-0 regular season in 2015!

The answer. Don’t settle for mediocrity and REINVENT!

ACTION ITEM: As they say in the Movie Rounders, “Fold or hang tough. Call, or Raise?” Stay the course and persevere, or change? Fortune favors the bold and answers you’re looking for are probably available to those who choose to see them.

What Am I Afraid Of?

Fear is a funny thing. I live with it every day, but it doesn’t defeat me.

ACTION ITEM: Get your fears out in the open. “Let them hit oxygen,” as I always say! Engage in Tim Ferriss’ fear setting exercise.

Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month

Happy vs. Satisfied

 

ACTION ITEM: Find a way to press “pause” and be happy, while remaining unsatisfied in the pursuit of achieving your potential.

Losing your -ness?

Here’s how you can get back on track and be more of who you are!

More of This. Less of That

I’m getting the strong feeling as I get older…life continues to get a little easier. Not in the sense where everything layeth down in front of me at any wish. No. More so the fact that I’m REALLY beginning to understand what I do, and the direct impact these actions will have on my life (both positively and negatively).

Do you? If not, I’d really like you to consider spending a few minutes on the content below. 

I’m paying a great deal of attention to what makes me operate at a high level and also what truly brings me joy. What do I put in my body? Where do I spend time? What am I reading or listening to? Personally and professionally.

Conversely, I also know what brings me down and empties the tank. What wrecks my body and energy levels? 

All that said, I’ve put together a couple of lists.  What makes me feel great (do more of), what takes away from my energy or health (less of that).

Less of That: Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate. 

  • Fried Food: only in limited moderation. Albeit delicious, it simply doesn’t make me feel good that day, or the next. It also wreaks havoc on my finicky stomach and UC symptoms. Pretty easy to limit this intake with a little will power.
  • Alcohol: no hard alcohol for me. My body can’t take it. I still love to consume a cold beer or a glass of wine, but no liquor for me. Same goes here. My body doesn’t process it or handle it well. Moving on!  
  • Over investing in flaky relationships: You all know one or two. I’m done pouring energy into something expecting some sort of return, knowing it won’t happen. Again. It’s too exhausting. Once you know…no one’s fault beyond my own at this point. 
  • Busyness: I’m working on this one. Being plugged in “most” of the time is a real challenge. I think its a challenge to family, overall health, and wellbeing. I can definitely be a prisoner to my own ambition, so I’ve got to really be aware of this. Being honest, I’ll probably get out of whack occasionally, so I’ve got to have checks and balances in place to reset.
  • Negativity & a Focus on Outcomes I can’t control. I’m growing more and more tired of negativity. I’m also growing tired of the endless worry toward things so many dimensions beyond control.  Worry for the sake of worry.
  • Pursuit of Stuff: I’ve really got about all I want or need in life. I’m not interested in watches, or cars, or compiling needless stuff. Give me experiences and freedom of time and space. 

Now for the good stuff. 

More of This: Make the time. Invest the Energy! The dividends far exceed the investment

  1. Meditation: Frequency minimum 15x monthly. Or roughly every other day at minimum. It’s so simple and the benefits (I feel) are obvious on so many levels in my life. It’s a real force multiplier for me. I’m happier. I sleep better. My joints don’t hurt. I’m better with my kids. Any anxiety is small at best. I’m more creative and in flow with anything coming my way. Did I mention I’m Happier! 
  2. Church: Frequency minimum 3x month (or 3 of 4 Sundays a month). Again, I just feel better. I’m not really sure how to put this any other way or more simply. I feel better. Clear thoughts and maybe even a more clear conscience. 
  3. True Connection at a higher Level: I want to continue to elevate my peer and friend network. I will absolutely jump at the idea of connecting with other business leaders, business starters, and all around achievers…who also have clarity in their pursuit. It feels like fuel to me and every time I do this, i walk away energized and with a slew of ideas.
  4. Exercise and Steps: I don’t know why, but I’m fully into the 10,000 steps a day or else march. It’s helping bake in a quick walk or jog/run throughout the day. Although it’s a simple metric, it’s one where the divided is simple yet extremely valuable. Get up. Get on the move! This would also involve knocking out daily pull-ups, push ups, or maybe a few kettle bell swings. 
  5. Retreat to the Water: I’ve said it many times to my wife. Growing up and living in the midwest, a couple times a year you have to “go to the water”.  I don’t know why, but it’s good for my soul. I’ve got to bake these times into my calendar well in advance. No excuse not to. I’ve got thousands of airline miles and thousands of hotel points. Cost is NOT the issue. I need to get to the coasts or to the beach.  
  6. Time with Friends: Again ask my wife. If I haven’t had some interaction with close friends in too long of a stretch, I get antsy. Maybe even grumpy. OK, totally grumpy. I crave interaction even at the most basic level. It could be a night out for dinner, or a driveway, a fire pit, and a cooler of cold ones. Either works magic.
  7. Alone time: I get you are probably shaking your head at this or maybe even raising a curious eyebrow. If you’re thinking I’m getting selfish, I am…but hear me out. Some of the best thinking and exploration of self awareness has come when I’ve been alone and gotten brutally honest with myself. Alone time. An empty pad of paper and some music. Nothing else and certainly no expectations. 

Make your list and pay attention to it. I actually have a simple matrix to keep track of the essential. Helps me course correct before I get too far off the beaten path.

ACTION ITEM: Focus on the right inputs and the wheel of momentum always seems to turn faster. I know it does for me.

Lessons From a 2am Turkey Sandwich

Seeing all these posts on the 10-Year Challenge made me think back to a decade ago in my career, and the terrific leadership lesson I learned from a gas station turkey sandwich…at 2am nonetheless.

You know what isn’t a good idea?

A gas station turkey sandwich. At 2am in northern Massachusetts. Not that Massachusetts has a lot to do with it, but it is where it all started.

A coworker (Josh Beckner) and I were flying out east to meet a client in New Hampshire. The following day I hoped to transition account responsibility. As is customary for winter travel we were delayed. And delayed. And delayed.

We landed at Boston Logan Airport shortly after midnight and I was starving. At that moment, I was willing to eat just about anything.

We picked up our rental car and headed north for the granite state. One stop along the way found us at an interstate gas station and me wolfing down a turkey sandwich. I probably had a little mayo on my cheek I ate it so fast. I couldn’t tell you how long the sandwich had been there, or if there was even a date on the packaging. Didn’t matter. My raging appetite subsided.

Fast forward to the following day.

We had a meeting with a great client of ours and a celebration was in order that night for goals we’d achieved together from the previous year. About 10:30am (so I remember it), it hit me. There are many names for what happened. I’ll simply call it one of the worst days of my life.

Montezuma’s Revenge!!! 

I probably went to the bathroom about 25 times that day, and I wish I was exaggerating. After you go about five times breaking up a meeting with a client, people start to notice. When you hit 20…a few began to worry. Things were not going well.

By noon I was worthless. Exhausted. Sore, empty, and embarrassed. All I could do was get back to my hotel and lay on the bathroom floor in the fetal position hoping, praying for it all to end.

The rest of the day was up to Josh.

You’re probably wondering, what could I possibly learn from this?

I’ll tell you.

#1 Gas Station Turkey – Pass. Pass. Pass. Always and forever pass on this as a viable food option. That or deal with the following day’s worth of diarrhea awaiting you.

#2 Sometimes a 2am turkey sandwich gives you the motivation you need to get out of your own way.

I was in Josh’s way. I didn’t get out of his way til I was nearly incapacitated. Josh is a great comrade. Well spoken and always prepared to a fault.  And may I add, always impeccably dressed. He handled and ran that meeting likely better than I ever would’ve. He’s gone on to be very successful in his career with Honda Motor Company because of these very attributes and I’m not the least bit surprised.

The client relationship transferred that very day, because there was no other viable option. There was no other choice.

While I’m not going to recommend going through the pain I did to receive this revelation, I do offer you this advice.

Where are you standing in the way of someone else progress? Where could you take a “2am Turkey Sandwich” break and let others be great with a challenge or opportunity? Give them the responsibility and let them IMPRESS THE HELL out of you!

Ten years later I’d like to tell you I’ve gotten better at this. Not perfect, or the best, but certainly progressing with experience.

ACTION ITEM: Let people be great. Let them surprise you. There will always be the need to earn this opportunity, but understand when enough is enough. Get out of the way and grow others through a challenge of their own. A challenge they’re asking for.

 

 

It’s Up to You

This year. This resolution. This habit. Whatever it is that’s hot in your mind right now…is up to you!

I chose to not wait for the new year to start my first habit/quest of 2019. I just finished listening to the book Mini Habits by Stephen Guise. It was recommended by the CEO of Traeger Grills Jeremy Andrus. (Thanks Scott Empringham for the recommendation!)

Starting on Dec. 26th, I began on a mission to complete 1,000 pull ups. As fast as possible, but with the minimum of 10 per day. The bar is in my basement. There is no real excuse standing in my way. Sooner I get to 1,000 the better. Every pull up completed gets a mark on the wall. I’m already past 150!

I often reflect back to Slight Edge principles when setting a target like this.

Easy to Do. Easy NOT to do.

Broken down into a daily mini-habit it is merely 10 a day, and that’s the bitch of it. It’s only 10 a day until I establish enough momentum to do 20, then 30, then who knows. But even at 10 a day I’ll be done by the end of February, and 1,000 pull ups into 2019. Nice little start to the year.

Do you know how long it takes me to do 10 pull ups? Probably 20 seconds. Maybe 30. It’s a joke if I don’t complete this by the end of January and yet that’s the funny thing about resolutions.

I’ll try and find reasons or days NOT to do it. It will be up to me!

Oddly enough, a friend of mine sent me a snap yesterday on New Year’s day sweating on his treadmill. Said he’s on a mission to run 1,000 miles this year…asked if I wanted in. I let him in on my 1,000 pull up challenge and here we are, already pushing each other along.

But here is the punch line. He’s not going to get my job done for me and I’m not going to run the miles for Josh. It’s up to me. It’s up to him.

Whatever stands in front of you in 2019 is going to be up to you. It’s not on your boss, or your spouse, or your team, or your kids, or your clients, or anyone other than you. If you get help along the way, fantastic!  But don’t count on it. Get there anyway.

ACTION ITEM: It’s up to me…so its up to me. Write it down, and go for it!

Ask me how I’m progressing toward my 1,000 goal. I can’t wait to tell you.

 

 

The Value of Playing Up

I can probably tell you when and where it happened.

I was back for only a few of days over Christmas break of my freshman year of college. I was playing basketball at the time and spent the last four months playing with guys who we former all-staters, but were now all-Americans. I was an 18, they were 21 and 22. Big difference. My learning curve was steep.

I played a few pickup games in the time home as was customary over Christmas break. After all, I’m always in the mood to get buckets. But this time something was different. The game had changed. It not only slowed down, but it was just easier as my perspective shifted.

I’m talking BIG change. Not small incremental change.

You ever wonder why the middle or youngest brother turns out to be the REALLY good one? I have zero stats or data to back this up, but I suspect it is true because he spent his entire life “playing up” and getting worked by his older brothers.

Would you like another example?

Things changed drastically in my career when I was 24 and started working with a nationally managed retail organization. Their game and demands elevated what I needed to deliver to continue adding value to the relationship. I quickly began to understand what it took to operate “successfully” at their level, and what expectations came with it. I needed to get better. The good news is, I could see and feel what that looked like.

With all that said, how can you start playing up today?  Or better put, what would that look like?

Here are a few ideas:

  • Get in a room with people better than you. These people have been “there” before.  There = where you want to go!
  • In golf speak, if you shoot in the 70’s you’ve got to run with the guys consistently shooting in the 60’s. Find out how they do it?
  • Are you a director? Get in the room, in a pitch, in a strategy session with a VP or President. How do they think or influence people?
  • Are you an educator looking to be an administrator? Spend time with someone who walked the same path and is a principal.
  • My wife was a good runner. Her suggestion, find a new pace. Find a new group to speed you up! A PR (personal record) awaits.
  • Imagine being a chess prodigy, and sitting with a grand master.
  • Find a new peer group. You ever heard the saying “there’s always another guy with a bigger boat?” Find that guy and who he hangs out with.

Playing up means involving yourself in a new game. A game outside your current comfort zone. Success may or may not come quickly. Embrace the ability to understand where you can improve to play at their “new” level.

Newsflash. You’re going to get knocked back. I’ve had it happen numerous times and I hope it continues. Nothing wrong with a little humility and appreciation for the competition.

It doesn’t mean your current skillset isn’t worthy, or isn’t valuable. It very likely is. It means the pursuit continues.

ACTION ITEM: Get lost in the pursuit of playing up! The rest will come.