What do the NFL Draft, negative draft profiles read by NFL greats, and the book, “Mindset” by Carol Dweck have in common?

Fixed vs. Growth Mindsets

These are without a doubt challenging, uncertain times. That said, with every challenge comes opportunity and this is no different.

I challenge you to see the Silver Lining in this pandemic. How can you best use this time to come out better on the other side?

ACTION ITEM: Take this opportunity to look inward. See the angles for improvement and embrace the challenge.

Kobe. His Daughter Gianna. 

It was all too tragic on Sunday. A legend, his daughter and 7 others lost too soon. We’ve all seen the news. It’s unavoidable.

I grew up in the MJ era, so it wasn’t like Kobe was “my guy,” but yet I was upset. I was watching the PGA tour event at Torrey Pines when I saw the news on my phone.

My wife asked, “how do you feel?” 

“Heartbroken,” I said. But not entirely sure why. Why do I feel this way?

“It’s ok to cry,” she said. “You do know you can cry. Let it out.” 

Why was I upset? I got to thinking:

• A legend, a basketball icon lost too soon. A man I hoped to see in old age. Similar to how I see Bill Russell today. 
• Be was 41. I’m soon to be 38
• He has kids and a young daughter almost the same age as my daughter. 
• Leaves behind a wife (Vanessa)
• He’ll never get to deliver the hall of fame speech he deserved 
• Jerry West was beside himself. I have tremendous respect for Jerry. “The Logo” of the NBA and fierce competitor felt deep sorrow in the loss of his friend and Laker comrade. I think he saw himself in Kobe
• And on and on… 

Yesterday (Monday), I was just somber. I just felt sad for the entire situation.

The thought I struggled with most and continue to, is the thought of that helicopter going down, and what do you say or prepare your daughter for….sitting along side you in those last fatal moments. That WRECKED me. 

As a parent I’m fine going out on my own. No one ever wants to go too soon. But with your child, your protege, at your side…that hurts. 

Monday moved on into Monday night and that’s where I found a smile. 

I was watching the Wisconsin vs Iowa basketball game and saw a post that ESPN would be reairing Kobe’s final game. His 60 point night of artistry that would complete his NBA career tapestry. 

Immediately I changed channels only to watch him start 0-5. That was painful. I knew the damn script and I was struggling through it.  C’mon Kobe, put the ball in the bucket.

Then a shot dropped. Then a layup. Then another. He was finding his legs. Three straight.

I’ve said this many times, but basketball was my first love. Now I’ll never know what it was like to be in the stratosphere with Kobe, but I could score and I knew what it felt like to get H-O-T.  Bucket. Bucket. Buckets!!

I was drawn in with the broadcast. 

I found myself rooting for an ending in a script that was already written.  Like cheering for Andy Dufresne to escape Shawshank. We know the ending.

I appreciated him. His work. His drive. His final chapter.

When he had 45, and was going for 50 I was drawn in. When he hit 53, I was sitting on the floor but up on my haunches…leaning in. Asking for 60!

He had that look in his eyes.

He hit 60, and I smiled. 

Ear to ear, I smiled. 

I smiled and I felt a little peace. That’s what he was put on this earth to do, and for a moment I forgot the tragedy, and remembered, even participated in his greatness. 

I put my kids to bed last night and knew that next day I’d be heading out of town for a quick business trip. Not irregular in the least, but it felt oh so different this time. 

I’d be lying to you if these events didn’t make me pause. Slow down. Appreciate.

I looked at my kids differently on Monday night, and today as they headed out the door. Different in a more clear way. Different in a more appreciative and thankful way.

I hate that these events do that, but it’s true and I won’t hide from it. 

This tragedy brings into perspective the reminder we hate to hear. Life is short, and it must be cherished.

Don’t forget to smile! No matter where it comes from.

Rest in peace Kobe & Gianna.

ACTION ITEM: Find a way to press “pause” and be happy, while remaining unsatisfied in the pursuit of achieving your potential.

Here’s how you can get back on track and be more of who you are!

I’m getting the strong feeling as I get older…life continues to get a little easier. Not in the sense where everything layeth down in front of me at any wish. No. More so the fact that I’m REALLY beginning to understand what I do, and the direct impact these actions will have on my life (both positively and negatively).

Do you? If not, I’d really like you to consider spending a few minutes on the content below. 

I’m paying a great deal of attention to what makes me operate at a high level and also what truly brings me joy. What do I put in my body? Where do I spend time? What am I reading or listening to? Personally and professionally.

Conversely, I also know what brings me down and empties the tank. What wrecks my body and energy levels? 

All that said, I’ve put together a couple of lists.  What makes me feel great (do more of), what takes away from my energy or health (less of that).

Less of That: Eliminate. Eliminate. Eliminate. 

• Fried Food: only in limited moderation. Albeit delicious, it simply doesn’t make me feel good that day, or the next. It also wreaks havoc on my finicky stomach and UC symptoms. Pretty easy to limit this intake with a little will power.
• Alcohol: no hard alcohol for me. My body can’t take it. I still love to consume a cold beer or a glass of wine, but no liquor for me. Same goes here. My body doesn’t process it or handle it well. Moving on!  
• Over investing in flaky relationships: You all know one or two. I’m done pouring energy into something expecting some sort of return, knowing it won’t happen. Again. It’s too exhausting. Once you know…no one’s fault beyond my own at this point. 
• Busyness: I’m working on this one. Being plugged in “most” of the time is a real challenge. I think its a challenge to family, overall health, and wellbeing. I can definitely be a prisoner to my own ambition, so I’ve got to really be aware of this. Being honest, I’ll probably get out of whack occasionally, so I’ve got to have checks and balances in place to reset.
• Negativity & a Focus on Outcomes I can’t control. I’m growing more and more tired of negativity. I’m also growing tired of the endless worry toward things so many dimensions beyond control.  Worry for the sake of worry.
• Pursuit of Stuff: I’ve really got about all I want or need in life. I’m not interested in watches, or cars, or compiling needless stuff. Give me experiences and freedom of time and space. 

Now for the good stuff. 

More of This: Make the time. Invest the Energy! The dividends far exceed the investment

1. Meditation: Frequency minimum 15x monthly. Or roughly every other day at minimum. It’s so simple and the benefits (I feel) are obvious on so many levels in my life. It’s a real force multiplier for me. I’m happier. I sleep better. My joints don’t hurt. I’m better with my kids. Any anxiety is small at best. I’m more creative and in flow with anything coming my way. Did I mention I’m Happier! 
2. Church: Frequency minimum 3x month (or 3 of 4 Sundays a month). Again, I just feel better. I’m not really sure how to put this any other way or more simply. I feel better. Clear thoughts and maybe even a more clear conscience. 
3. True Connection at a higher Level: I want to continue to elevate my peer and friend network. I will absolutely jump at the idea of connecting with other business leaders, business starters, and all around achievers…who also have clarity in their pursuit. It feels like fuel to me and every time I do this, i walk away energized and with a slew of ideas.
4. Exercise and Steps: I don’t know why, but I’m fully into the 10,000 steps a day or else march. It’s helping bake in a quick walk or jog/run throughout the day. Although it’s a simple metric, it’s one where the divided is simple yet extremely valuable. Get up. Get on the move! This would also involve knocking out daily pull-ups, push ups, or maybe a few kettle bell swings. 
5. Retreat to the Water: I’ve said it many times to my wife. Growing up and living in the midwest, a couple times a year you have to “go to the water”.  I don’t know why, but it’s good for my soul. I’ve got to bake these times into my calendar well in advance. No excuse not to. I’ve got thousands of airline miles and thousands of hotel points. Cost is NOT the issue. I need to get to the coasts or to the beach.  
6. Time with Friends: Again ask my wife. If I haven’t had some interaction with close friends in too long of a stretch, I get antsy. Maybe even grumpy. OK, totally grumpy. I crave interaction even at the most basic level. It could be a night out for dinner, or a driveway, a fire pit, and a cooler of cold ones. Either works magic.
7. Alone time: I get you are probably shaking your head at this or maybe even raising a curious eyebrow. If you’re thinking I’m getting selfish, I am…but hear me out. Some of the best thinking and exploration of self awareness has come when I’ve been alone and gotten brutally honest with myself. Alone time. An empty pad of paper and some music. Nothing else and certainly no expectations. 

Make your list and pay attention to it. I actually have a simple matrix to keep track of the essential. Helps me course correct before I get too far off the beaten path.

ACTION ITEM: Focus on the right inputs and the wheel of momentum always seems to turn faster. I know it does for me.