I’m going to make the assumption I’m like most of you, and I spend a fair amount of time on my phone. I’m digitally connected across many channels, all doing their very best to steal away my attention, and at the same time, sell my attention to advertisers.

In the last week or two I’ve been tempted with the following ads. All are brands I like, and some I devour. All are reasonable purchases I could make, almost in an instant. Here are a few examples:

• Travis Matthew – 40% off Sale. Sounds like a helluva deal on essentially everything in my wardrobe. Almost seems too good to pass up.
• Nike – Back to School Savings. Again, I’m a sucker for fresh pair of sneakers, so browse, browse away. New Jordans, Air Maxes, or running shoes. Sure! Golf Jordans?? Double check!!!
• BYLT Basics – I love their t-shirts as they really fit a slender fella like me well. What colors could I add to the collection? Everyone needs a good t-shirt or two, or two more
• Vuori Clothing – Haven’t purchased a single item just yet…but I’ve browsed about 100+
• Rhoback – give me all the golf polos please and thank you! While you’re at it, throw in a few of those buttery soft hoodies too.
• Wolf and Shepard – Again, I’m a sucker for shoes and I could easily see a pair of these in my closet. Equal parts sport and style. Just up my alley.
• Ledbury – Best dress shirts I’ve ever owned. Period. And I’ve probably got 10 of them. Get yourself one. “Slim Fit” if you’re built like me.
• Target – I don’t even know what I was looking at other than maybe some new kitchenware (sexy I know), but who can’t drop a quick hundo at Target?!?!?

At some point amongst my scrolling, a wave of clarity came over me and I zapped out of the fog. It was almost like a cool breeze you feel in the fall when you realize the temps have turned from a warm Southern breeze, to a cool North wind. What the hell was I looking for?

Let me say this again. What was I looking for?

I feel very comfortable saying this. I could easily purchase any one of the brands noted above, or even spend $1,000 on a digital shopping cart full of “new gear” today. It won’t change my life. I’ve thought of buying a Rolex numerous times to reward myself for a sense of accomplishment and as a symbol for achievement. Will it make me happier? No. Does it tell time better than my Apple Watch? No. ~Side note, pretty powerful brand story for me to make the achievement association with a watch. Quite fascinating really!!

Spending $100 or $1,000 or $10,000 is incredibly unlikely to make me happier. It won’t change my life. It won’t elevate my position with my family, it won’t make new friends or make the current ones I have like me more.

Disrupt the Comfort Channel

Fifteen years ago I lived by myself in downtown Chicago. On weekend strolls, I spent a great deal of time walking in and out of stores on the magnificent mile. Every notable brand wasn’t only available, it was at my fingertips. Young and ambitious to a fault, I would often go on ‘lifestyle seeking expeditions’ for the person I was striving to become. What did the wealthy wear? What did they drive? Where did they live? Where were they eating? It was all very tempting to the senses.

What I was able to learn on these walks, was 99% of the time, I was able to intercept the need for comfort or status and I bought NOTHING. I was able to go through the entire cycle of imagining, finding an item, maybe even trying it on in a dressing room or touring an apartment, and then asking myself the most notable question anyone can ask…

Do I really need this?

I’m not a monk. I want to drive a Ferrari, eat filet mignon and play Pebble Beach.

I’m not holier than thou and I’m a “consumer” in every since of the word, living in a capitalist country with sizable marketing budgets available to grasp my attention. What a beauty to be free right?!?! That said, I can intercept the signal and still appreciate living in a nice house and driving a nice car. Take them away tomorrow, I’m still who I am.

Who owns who?

Do we own the things around us, or do our things or the pursuit of things own us? I will buy more Jordan sneakers. Someday I may purchase that Rolex. But I won’t associate a false level of happiness to such a meaningless thing no one will care five, or especially 100 years from now.

“How good it is when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this is the dead body of a bird or pig; and again, that the Falerian wine is the mere juice of grapes, and your purple edged robe simply the hair of a sheep soaked in shell-fish blood! This should be your practice throughout all your life: when things have such a plausible appearance, show them naked, see their shoddiness, strip away their own boastful account of themselves. Vanity is the greatest seducer of reason: when you are most convinced that your work is important, that is when you are most under its spell.”

Marcus Aurelius

Satisfaction (Haves/Wants)

For a thoughtful listen on the topic of happiness and goals, I highly recommend a listen to Arthur C. Brooks on the Tim Ferriss show(YouTube). Here is the podcast link as well.