Tag Archives: Ryan Holiday

The Paradox: Acceptance vs. Achievement

I’ve thought many times. Am I bi-polar, because I can’t choose my path? I often feel both powers of acceptance and achievement at play in my life like a cosmic duel. I want to push-push-push, and then sometimes completely LET GO. I also struggle with the ability to know when to STOP pushing.

It’s the yin and the yang, the push and the pull. Accepting vs. achieving. One day I’m listening to Zac Brown Band or classical piano, the next day it’s Jay-Z and 2Pac. But I guess that’s the rhythm of life at play.

Lets be real…I’m self diagnosed TYPE A. I’ve never been short on ambition and I take tremendous pride for the ability to “achieve” the goals set out in front of me. There are times however (many of them), where I wonder if my ambition causes me to hold on too tight, or expect immediate outcomes from my steering. The quote, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” would be spot on for this behavior.

I’ve heard Grant Cardone speak to this by saying, “Everything is my fault.” Good. Bad. Indifferent. It’s up to no one else, but me. 100% Ownership of all outcomes. This vibe comes to me pretty easily, but I also believe over time it stresses and oxidizes the body.

To complete the paradox, there are other times I feel absolute acceptance.

What will be, will be. I can gulp this behavior down like a shot of Robitussin, but it is possible.

The Principle: accept any and all outcomes from the effort, no matter good or bad. The side of me hoping and practicing to be decent Christian feels the need to consistently improve upon this line of thinking. The bible is littered with tales of submission and acceptance to the plan of the higher power.

What I’m learning is, Acceptance isn’t a behavior of throwing up my arms and simply being sloth waiting for life to hit from every direction. It’s not learned helplessness. The effort part is the only control. The outcome actually isn’t up to me.

Enter stoicism.

When I first thought of the stoics, I thought they were void of all feelings and robotic. It’s actually opposite of that. Stoicism is about radical acceptance. Feel all the feelings, but be non-judgmental. Love what happens to you and see it as a chance for personal growth.

“What a power man has to do nothing except what God will approve, and to accept all that God may give him.”

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.11

If you’re curious on the stoics, their thinking, or a daily practice, I highly recommend the book by Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic. The daily practice of reading one page of stoic philosophy helps rewire my brain for a more pragmatic approach that’s been battle tested 2,000 years ago.

“Demand not that events should happen as you wish; but wish them to happen as they do happen, and you will go on well”

Epictetus, Enchiridion 8

Striking a Balance

That’s acceptance and achievement in the perfect balance for me. It’s a beautiful two-part harmony. Use my achievement wiring to drive the effort piece of the equation. Without effort, little can or will be achieved. As legendary coach Nick Saban calls it, “The Process”. Do what’s in front of you. Do your job. Do it well. Do it with consistency.

I’ll lean on the continued growth of my acceptance muscles to better accept the outcome. Good or bad, what happened, happened and a new path forward may need to be considered.

Quest for Pragmatism

What are you searching for?

Are you looking for an answer?

I believe everyone is looking for something! Human existence revolves around finding progress somewhere in our life. The human mind doesn’t allow anyone to remain stagnant, or satisfied…for that matter. Our 2,000+ year old brain is always searching. We used to search for food, now we search to solve problems.

You may be searching for: better physical shape, searching to quit a habit, a bigger income, a MUCH bigger income, more freedom at the office, a better relationship, another job entirely, a better business, and the list goes on forever.

Here’s the thing…I’m looking too. Every day!

Insert pragmatism. The answer to what we’re all looking for is simple. It ALWAYS is. The reason it’s simple, there is nearly a 100% chance, what you’re looking to do or solve for, someone else has already done it.

That said, the effort may not be EASY, but that doesn’t change the answer does it?

Answers are simple. Action tends to be the hard part.

Here is a rundown, a short list, of what millions are looking for at this very moment…and pragmatic answers to each challenge.

  1. Lose Weight – stop eating shit and get to a gym 4-5x a week. Simple
  2. Quit Smoking – Commit to NOT lighting the next cigarette. Simple. Yet millions have proven…not easy.
  3. A New Job – Get serious about letting people know your value and get committed on finding something new, or somewhere new. AKA – commit and try. Simple.
  4. More Money – Get a second Job. Whoa… you mean more work?  Answer is simple isn’t it?
  5. More Money at my “current” job – tell your boss. What do you want, and how do you intend to deliver the value to cash the check back to your employer?  I’d also associate a timeline. Raises NEVER come at the expense of the employer. Not an employer planning to stay in business.

Just because you don’t like the answer, or it isn’t comfortable, doesn’t mean the answer gets to change. Feelings take a back seat to a truly pragmatic view. It’s commitment and RESULTS we’re after.

Less think. More do.

I learned this practice a great deal from previous owners I worked for (thank you if you’re reading this) and most recently from my partners.

If you’re not getting what you want, in anything, you MUST change it…or suffer the consequences. The consequences will likely hurt much more in the long run if you delay.

Lastly, the pragmatic and the popular don’t often coincide. I feel as though they’re almost opposite sides of a magnet pushing against one another resisting connection.

As I continue to read, listen to, and digest the best and brightest leaders, entrepreneurs and thinkers of yesterday and today, most, if not ALL are ruthlessly pragmatic.

Read: The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph

Reflective. Simple. Authentic. Action-oriented.

ACTION ITEM: A shift toward the pragmatic. Simple answers…not easily achieved. In the end, it is up to you. It always has been. Maybe you just needed to cut through the bullshit.