Every day, I live out a story. All of us are. But what is important to understand is, how am I, or how are you, crafting the story? Because it has everything to do with how we see the world. Is life happening to me? Or is life happening FOR ME?!?

There is no better example of STORY, than one I read and repeat to others frequently. It’s from Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. This book is easily one of my top 5 favorites and I re-read it frequently. The power of story is illustrated something like this.

An alcoholic father, abuser and career criminal, welcomed two wonderful boys into the world nearly 14 months apart. They’re almost twins. This is important because they experience the same tumultuous, brutal upbringing. Fast-forward 30 years, and the oldest has fallen into his father’s footsteps. He’s a criminal, he can’t keep a job, and his relationships are a mess. He lived a life of resentment and constant search for reconciliation. When asked how he got here, he responded with, “Look at my Dad. What did you think would happen?” How could he have possibly ended up any different?

The younger brother, who experienced the EXACT same upbringing, found himself in a different place 30 years later. The regional manager of a national corporation, his life reflected stability. Happily married with kids, he was a good father and provider. His kids looked up to him and he lived a life of gratitude. When asked how he got here, the younger brother responded with, “Look at my Dad. What did you think would happen? I couldn’t possibly live the life we lived as kids!”

Same genetics. Same father. Two wildly different outcomes based on how they interpreted the story of their upbringing. STORY

I work at the AdTech company: Basis Technologies. One of the “benefits” we have at work is participating in groups sessions appropriately named “Conscious Leadership” founded in the principles of the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.

Fact vs. Story

You’re not here for a book report, so I’ll spare you. That said, an exercise we dive into frequently is the [Fact vs. Story] exercise. And I must admit, this exercise is really hard for me. I craft stories. I tell stories. I weave emotion into stories to emphasize the finer points. I’m more comfortable in story. When challenged with facts, I become Superman to Kryptonite.

Stoic Philosophy

A few years ago I picked up the book: The Daily Stoic. It’s a daily, one page read with 366 teachings (meditations) of stoic philosophy and it’s incredibly digestible. I’ve gifted it to many as I believe so deeply in the power of these teachings. I honestly believe it’s helped to rewire my mindset. Here is a quick YouTube video on how to apply Stoicism to daily life if you’re curious.

All of this thought on story, reminded me of this quote.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Read that quote again. Think about facts of your life and how your life shapes your belief. I’ll give you real life examples from my life. Every statement begins with fact, but what follows is story.

• I grew up in small town in Iowa, therefore, I have less understanding of other nationalities, religions and their beliefs
• I grew up an athlete – therefore, I’m wired and thrive in competitiveness. I know how to win better than others
• My parents have a blue collar work ethic – therefore, I understand the value of hard work
• At 27, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis – therefore, I’ll never be truly healthy and have no control over the disease
• I live on a golf course – because of that, I must make a great income or inherited some money
• I’ve always been skinny – therefore, it’s impossible to put on weight and build muscle
• My Dad grew up poor – therefore, he has a scarcity mindset with money
• I’ve had business wins – therefore, I have a unique perspective on what it takes to be successful and others should buy in.
• I go to church – therefore, I study and understand the teachings in the Bible and I’m comfortable in prayer

Think about people around you and the life they’re living because of the story they’re committed to!

Fact. [pause] Story

Some people set a word for the year to help guide their intentions. I can’t say I’ve ever done it, or if I will do it now. But if I absolutely had to choose a word today, I think this year I’d choose PAUSE.

I’m wired for action and progress. I love it. It fuels me. But every sword has two sides. When I move too quickly, when I act too fast, I’m prone to mistakes, or misunderstanding. When I make a mistake, or hit a bad shot in golf, I’m quick to try and rectify. What’s proven to be more successful is pausing, reassess the situation and go from there. The past is gone. But it doesn’t mean I’ve got to screw up the future. [Pause].

Pause when I get triggered or receive push back. Pause try and understand where the other person is coming at the problem from…instead of committing to being RIGHT! They too have a unique perspective being brought to the table (and likely also stories).

I try not to give advice too often because I don’t know how anyone is arriving at this content. I can only tell you what’s worked, and not worked for me. Picking up The Daily Stoic, and reading one page a day, every day, has helped me.