Tag Archives: Fear

From Burnout to Balance: A Birthday Post on Reflection & Transformation

How did I go from: Puffy, Inflamed and Anxious to finding peace and reinventing my body? I’ll tell you, but first I must take a begrudging look back.

The Days are Long. The Years are Fast.

I spent a good deal of time looking at the image on the left and it reminds me of so many things…it actually makes me sad. This picture was taken on my birthday a few years ago at Dunkin Donuts with my two kids. A birthday is a day that should be “happy” and celebrated, but I can’t say that’s how I felt that morning. Holding both kids, I was also holding a great deal of anxiousness, guilt and burnout.

Still shy of 40, I was feeling the impacts of many things colliding. I felt stressed running a business that was going through the earliest days of COVID. But little did I know it was only going to become more tenuous. Layoffs loomed and I spent many late nights or early early mornings with my face in my hands, agonizing over a list of employees who would no longer be employed the following morning. I knew it would place stress on them or their family and there was no right answer…only a number to reduce to. These are long, lonely days and restless nights.

Generally Unwell

I was feeling the impacts of a young daughter and the stresses of raising another child, but this time in a much different time. I always felt great stress in their youngest of years. Reflecting back on when I was young and selfish, responsibility (even to one self) felt trivial. But when another human depends on you for their entire life, that’s responsibility! And it always stressed me out if I’m being honest.

I wasn’t eating well, I definitely wasn’t sleeping well, and I wasn’t exercising with any sort of consistency. I was “skinny fat” with a weak body and little discipline. My days started with heavy doses of caffeine and ended with a drink or more likely…drinkssss to escape the stress and “take the edge off!” Just reading this makes my body shake with regret. I was inflamed, easy to agitate, and grumpy (I wonder why??). I was pretty much the opposite of a joy to be around, but I tried my best to hide it with my usual prescription of a little charisma and some charm. Despite this charade, inside I was miserable. The only relief I found was cycling on and off steroids to tame my triggered auto immune disease.

At one point in this journey, I remember being down in my office, seeking surrender being alone. I likely was hoping to cry. Afterall, I thought it would be healthy or therapeutic. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t cry. I was holding on to everything so tight, I couldn’t let anything go…including tears. I was immune to relaxation and felt generally numb.

I was burned out. Happy Birthday right!?!?

So What Changed?

Everything.

  • Diet – I started getting hyper-focused on what I put into my body. I read The Wahl’s Protocol from Dr. Terry Wahls. She reversed her MS auto immune condition with a very specific diet and exercise protocol and documented her journey. I’m far from perfect with my consumption, but I do eat “mostly good” and keep a keen eye out for alcohol consumption. More vegetables. More quality meat. Less processed junk. I haven’t fully quit drinking, although I have considered it from time to time.
  • Fitness – In 2021 I purchased a Peloton and a pull up bar. I literally think this was a major lever to gaining momentum across all other aspects of my life because a decision was MADE. The previous version of me was dead. I’ll never forget getting on that bike the first few times. The shoes felt awkward. After only minutes, my lungs and veins were on fire. My heart was racing, which felt like the panic attack experienced earlier in the year. But looking back…it was the medicine I needed. I can also tell you “stress sweat” smells very different than every day sweat. With every ride completed, the cocktail of cortisol, anxiety, and general distress on the body came pouring out on to my basement floor.
  • Body – The combination of diet changes and fitness protocol these last few years helped reshape my body. Just look at the guy on the right (taken the fall of 2024) compared to the left. I’m about 8-10 lbs. heavier (in a good way). I did it by reshaping my body, and putting on muscle. My soft belly is gone and my shoulders are broader. I’ve done thousands of pull ups, push ups, cycled thousands of miles pursuing the daily discipline of staying in shape while continuing to push. Aside from general fitness and me being vain (yes I like to look good), I feel So-Much-Better! My body moves so much better. I sleep so much better.
  • Surrender – This may seem trivial, it may not, but I got back to the rhythm of going to church. I’m a deeply flawed person and every time I walk out of a service, I feel lighter and somewhat reborn. With every visit I ask for forgiveness for something and it allows me to reconnect to a higher power and bigger purpose. This has been a big part of the mosaic that is my healing journey. As I worked to transform my mind, (Mental) and body(Physical), I also dove into transforming my spirit (Spiritual).
  • Professional Help – I’ve written about my journey with Better Help. Along with exercise, this act was transformational. It was exactly what I needed to get out of my own head and into a path toward healing, forgiving, and not being so damned hard on myself. I’m incredibly grateful for the skilled professional who helped me through a tough spot. If you told me in my 20s I would consult therapy for a tough time I was going through, I would’ve LAUGHED and said some asshole condescending comment about “being weak minded” and seeking help. What a pussy! ~I didn’t think my ego would allow it, but here’s to growing up, swallowing pride and seeking help. This is hard for men…especially us ALPHAs. I get it.
  • Medication – I’m pleased to report as of the beginning of 2025, I got off my anxiety medication. It’s been a goal of mine for some time, and I’d gotten down to such a low dose that I was just doing it to do it. But a healthy body and mind doesn’t need an unnecessary crutch, so I cut it out headed into the new year.
  • Content – Every day of the year it’s quite likely I’ll read one of two books as mental conditioning. The first is, Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins < – – – – – I love this book!! I hope I never stop rereading the wisdom. The second is, The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. Priming my mind with teachings thousands of years old help me stay grounded and also growing.

Reinvention starts slowly (really slowly) and then happens all at once.

I know each of the modalities above can do miracles on their own. But, when paired together, their individual super powers have the potential to create exponential outcomes and generate tremendous momentum. Momentum is much easier to steer than start and momentum is an agent of change! I now feel like I’m coming into my birthday this year, with strong winds at my back!

I really try not to preach or give too much direction on this blog on [what you need to do is this…]. I can only know what I’ve been through, and share my journey and experiences through my lens. (If) it helps you…wonderful! If it gets you started on a new direction…I’m delighted. Maybe some day we can talk about it.

Reinvention is possible and it can start today with a decision. That’s where it started with me a few years ago on the Ides of March. Although the decision had to start with me, I’m incredibly grateful for a supportive wife and incredible friends who’ve been with me every step of the way!

When the GRIND Sets In

The “GRIND“: opposing parts desire and dissatisfaction.

The GRIND is glorified by athletes and entrepreneurs as they put in rep after rep in the lab. This grind is rewarded with sweat, performance breakthroughs and improvement through struggle. Instagram post = “Out here Grindin!” Courtesy of DJ Khalid

To the opposition, the GRIND is met with vitriol. Their Monday through Friday work is a GRIND. Showing up for the man. This grind is rewarded by ending whatever misery is being participated in…likely Friday at 5pm.

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE PROCESS

Nick Saban’s love for the process is well documented. Alabama’s entire program and dynasty revolves around “the process” and doing the next play, the next rep, with excellence. One at a time. Every time. In the present moment, with excellence. Forget yesterday. Don’t worry about tomorrow. It’s about performing NOW.

Watching a video from Bedros Keuilian on YouTube, he spoke to the power of a rep or repetition as it relates to confidence. He said the following and it really sunk in.

REPS REMOVE DOUBT

I’ve written extensively about the role of momentum and confidence in life. You either have momentum and life is flowing to you, or you’re working on rebuilding momentum and fighting headwinds. When things are rolling, confidence is high. When challenge is omnipresent, doubt is high, and confidence is low. But how does one build confidence back? How do you get your mojo back?

Build confidence, by Doing the Reps. Bedros said, “repetition removes doubt!”

Notice he didn’t say, repetition guarantees confidence. He went the other way. It removes doubt. When doubt is gone, I believe we’re able to be our [best self] and flow infinitely into whatever task we’re pursuing.

Where do I see this in real life? Let me tell you:

  • Coaching 8-year old Travel Baseball: The progress some of these kids have made since February is gigantic and it isn’t luck. It’s repetition. Many began the year with some level of FEAR. By the way, the wiring in an 8-year old, is the same wiring in all of us. Think about that for a moment.
  • 10,000 Pull Up Goal: I set a goal at the beginning of 2023 to knock out 10,000 pull ups. As of this post I’m at about 6,400. Flowing easily toward and well past my target. But there is no easy path to 10,000. It’s every day, one rep at a time.
  • Sales Teams: I’ve lead and coached many sales people and teams in my 20 professional years. The best/most successful, do the reps with rabid consistency. Luck isn’t bestowed upon the consistent high achievers. They stay in the work and eliminate doubt with consistent preparation and action.
  • Peloton Practice: When our Peloton [handle: zkeeney] arrived in the fall of 2021, I wasn’t sure I’d be into the work. I’ve never been into cycling and I’m typically bored quickly if I’m not on the move. But I committed to doing the first 20 rides. Today I’m over 500+ rides and there are many days I need the work, like I need oxygen. I’m in love with the reps. I’m in love with the sweat and competition.

Whenever I find myself stuck, unable to start a big project or long journey, I focus on taking the first step, in the right direction. Action is key, but so too, is focused direction. Then show up again. And again. The rest will take care of itself when momentum sets in and kinetic energy is flowing.

F.E.A.R.

This one will be short and sweet for all of us that need to hear it.

How does fear come to life for you?

  • False evidence appearing real 
  • Frantic effort to appear recovered 
  • Future events already ruined 
  • Fear expressed allows relief 

I’ve personally been afraid of many things in my life…and yet, none of them have come to be. Sunday is a good day to face what we believe to be true and let these thoughts hit the light of day!

PS – this post was inspired by the Tim Ferriss podcast and guest Anne Lamott. A terrific listen and worth the time.

You Can’t Win With Scared Money

There is an old saying, one that I imagine was coined by some Maverick somewhere in the dusty desert confines of Las Vegas, Nevada.

You Can’t Win With Scared Money

I believe I heard it for the first time in my 20’s when playing blackjack. The cosmic duel in blackjack…to hit, or stay? Double down, or simply take the next card. Those of you “blackjack experts” are probably already screaming at your screen saying it is simply a math problem, which it very much is.

But so is every game in Las Vegas and any casino around the world. How do you think the house gets an advantage?

So what happens when the cards fall in your favor? There is no time to be scared. The point is to act and act with conviction.

You Can’t Win with Scared Money

Now the responsible side of me will also tell you, you can’t eat with reckless money either. Blackjack is a game built on math, but also surrounded by chance. So is life.

The randomness of the next card coming out of a blackjack shoe is similar to what will happen tomorrow. Odds are you may know, but you may also be very surprised.

I could list many times in my life when I’ve tried to win with scared money. I’ve probably “lost” or been dead before I started due to tension, fear, or anxious feelings numerous time. These examples happened in sports growing up and in college, relationships throughout life, business scenarios, presentations and the list goes on.

Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.

Fear is 100% dependent on state. I just wrote about this in my last post Red State vs. Blue State. Change your state, change your life. If I think about being in a “Blue State” I’m free, I’m quick, witty, ready to ad lib. I’m flowing, loose, and probably most important…confident.

You Can’t Win With Scared Money. I’ll also add,

You can’t be stopped when acting in positive state.

I am only 36, but I’ve already lived through numerous events where it was my turn to act…many times with the cards in my favor. Some I’ve connected on. Some larger than others. Some I let pass right on by…choosing inaction for the fear of action, and what consequences said action may hold.

In every such scenario, hindsight provides certainty and sometimes regret. I hate regret, but it’s a real thing.

ACTION ITEM: Instead of using regret to get demotivated and steal your momentum, try to use it for reflection. Why do you feel the way you do and what about this scenario is likely to happen again? When it does, grab it by the throat with some confidence and really GO FOR IT. What’s the worst that can happen?

 

 

 

 

What if We Lived in a Trailer?

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I asked this question to my wife a few months back.

What if we lived in a trailer?
Imagine the look on her face…

Odd question I know, and in no means do I mean to offend anyone. It’s just that…I’ve never lived in a trailer. That said, I can promise you one thing, I’m not afraid of it either.

There comes a point when you have to realize something.

What are you afraid to lose?

I came to the following conclusion. If I have my wife, and my son, we’ll figure it out from there. What else is there to really worry about?

  • House?
  • Car?
  • Vacations?
  • Clothing?
  • Stuff?

I won’t lie one bit. I like to have nice things as much as the next guy, but reading stoic philosophy led me to a better understanding of how to see things for what they really are and nothing more. As Ryan Holiday puts it in his book The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph

Filet Mignon – Aged animal carcass
Great Wine – Old grapes
A beautiful car – transportation

If you’re worried about what your “friends” will think, I’ll give you the obvious answer.

They’re probably not really your friends. Move on.

By all means have fun. Experience all life has to offer and don’t feel one bit of guilt. But don’t get over committed to an empty and endless pursuit of more.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to take a chance or two along the way. The fear of losing your expensive car lease needs to be reevaluated.

This feeling of freedom will provide you all the energy and clear vision you need to achieve your goals.

ACTION ITEM: It’s ok to be afraid, but don’t be afraid of losing the wrong stuff.

Anxiety, Neurosis, and Living a Life of Fear

There’s an epidemic gaining momentum in society.

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Obviously I don’t believe I’m alone or I wouldn’t write about it.  Anxiety and fear are leaving people feeling trapped, living a life alone with their own thoughts.

It all started for me about five years ago with my UC (ulcerative colitis) diagnosis.  What began as a disease of the large intestine and specifically the colon, spread to my head.

No it’s not cancer.  I’m referring to the negative thought process I became fixated on and concerned with 24/7.  Worry followed by more fear and worry.  Here is a small sampling of my thoughts from about five years ago to give you an idea of what I’m talking about:

  • Is this going to kill me?
  • What (if anything) could I eat any more?
  • Would it cause another attack?
  • What if I’m not near a bathroom? (near is a distance 15-20 seconds away at a panic jog rate)
  • What if I can’t eat anything?
  • Would I still be able to travel?
  • What if I got sick away from home?
  • How embarrassing is this going to be?
  • Eat more bananas? Damn it! More bananas?

Why am I telling you this?

Because I believe this is merely a glimpse at my struggle, and although it may not relate to you directly, I believe others need to know it’s okay to be afraid, but accepting of their fears.  What’s not okay is to let fear take over your thoughts, actions, and emotions 24/7 and ruin your life.  For me, this fear lead to panic, anxious thoughts, and uninitiated worry.

A couple years ago on the outside, I may have looked like I had it together, but on the inside I was a complete mess.

The “trifecta” I was living with included more than just the UC diagnosis and fears.  At the exact same time I was kicking a nasty nicotine habit (which needed to happen), while also facing a growing infertility challenge with my wife as we longed to start a family.  Brick by brick, a house of fears and frustration compiled.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago I realized the best medicine for my body wasn’t the two daily horse pills I take. I needed brain training for a reboot.  I’d personally beaten myself down with thoughts and feelings of insecurity and anxiousness.  Everywhere I went there was an undercurrent of fear riding in my sidecar.  If you can relate, you know what I’m talking about. The weeds find a way to grow, and they grow quickly!

What does this fear feel like?

It feels like a racing heartbeat.  Clammy and shivering hands.  Chills.  Feelings of being exhausted and alert at the same time.  It turned situations where I was 100% comfortable a couple years ago into fight or flight adrenaline jolts.  It sucked.

So how did I start to take back control?

Slowly. One step at a time my thinking had to be rebuilt.  Here’s what Ralph Waldo Emerson says,

A man is what he thinks about all day long.

The quote (and I’m not sure who said it), “Everyone has something,” kept running through my head.  “I’m not the only one in the world dealing with this, so stop being such a pansy ass,” I’d say to myself.  It could be so much worse.  I had to make a choice and commit to positivity and living life every day.

Commitment to change happened.

Radical change happens when a line is drawn in the sand and a person must be put to a decision.  In poker you would call this an “all-in” wager.  I didn’t want to wallow in the bullshit any longer.  I decided I’d own it and talk about it openly.  I chose to show others my hand (more card-speak), my insecurities, and not be afraid or embarrassed.  After all, this was me.  All of me, as John Legend puts it.

A crazy thing happens when you speak freely about fear.  It gets released.  When it’s released, it doesn’t carry with it the immense weight as it does in your thoughts.  It disappears like smoke from a fire into the night sky.  Seemingly never to have existed in the first place.

Tony Robbins teaches three things to help you get to this action decision.  You can find the link to his post here (How to Create Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life)

  1. Change your strategy, change your result.
  2. Change your story, change your life.
  3. Change your state—you change it all!

The kryptonite to my fear, my anxiety, my neurosis wasn’t a pill (although I must admit a steroid pack helps a brother out from time to time if he gets run down and my stomach needs a boost).  No.  The answer lived in my thoughts, beliefs, and actions.  A funny thing happens when this choice is made.  You gain momentum and energy, and you never look back.

Thinking alone won’t ever cure me from my stomach disease or associated fears, but I’m not looking for that any more.  I’m not cured, I’m informed.  I’m committed to not living a life of fear and being a shell of my real self.  If that means saying no to a few more things, or resting when my body needs it, then so be it.

When the next challenge comes along (and it’s guaranteed to happen), I will be more prepared.  I will be more present in understanding what I’m feeling.  In the meantime, I’m going to hop on this black stallion called life and break her to live my way!

ACTION ITEM: I’ve been thinking about this post for some time.  A great deal of emotion came about when thinking about it.  It makes me feel even better writing it.  But, it’s not about me.  I know without a shred of doubt there are people struggling like I did.  If you are afraid, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE!

Make a choice to beat it.  If you’re a friend, make a choice to help them.  Life is far too short to be afraid all the time.

Use The “F Word” More Frequently

 The word is FEAR

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As a society, we’ve let our fears pile up inside of our brains and multiply like a germ in a petri dish.  The more we let the fear live inside our heads, the more momentum it builds.  Momentum can be extremely beneficial or devastatingly punishing.  The less we challenge our fears, the stronger they become.  Fear is the antithesis of a muscle.  The less you challenge it, the stronger it gets every single day.

I NEVER want to post as a hypocrite, so I’m going to tell you a list of the recent fears I’ve tackled.  Each of these fears caused noticeable challenge and changes needing to be made to my life.  With each fear, I’ll provide some background.  I want you to know everyone has fears.  Not everyone will put them out in the open.

  1. Stomach Disease – A few years back, I was diagnosed with a stomach disease (Ulcerative Colitis) and it was extremely challenging for a while knowing when nature would call (i.e. I went to the bathroom a lot!).  To say this changed my life would be an understatement.  This caused me to be worried any time I went anywhere for more than 20-30 minutes.  Well I obviously traveled frequently for work, so this was NOT an easy task.  The bigger worry was the potential embarrassment I may encounter should the worst possible scenario happen while traveling with co-workers.  I was terrified about this frequently and until I finally told others of my situation, I felt like I was hiding potential doom every day.
  2. Cancer & Tobacco – My addictive personality and chewing tobacco made for a beautiful relationship (totally joking, but true).  I thought when I went in to get my stomach issues looked at I was going to be told I had cancer.  I mean after all, I’d earned it with the frequency of tobacco placed between my lip and gum.  Thankfully, this was not the case and all the reason to stop the habit immediately.  FEAR in this case won for the positive.  What wasn’t easy was kicking the habit.  Eventually I got there with the help of my wife and great friends, but I was literally afraid to quit at the start.  Sounds stupid (I know), but true.
  3. Parenthood – My wife and I planned to start a family soon after we got married.  This was a little over five years ago.  After a few years of it not happening, we thought it may never happen.  This fear wore on us.  It beat us down every time someone asked, “Why don’t you guys have kids?”  We didn’t have the heart to tell them we’d been trying, yet we did have the anger building up to stare right through them.  I truly believe it started to get better when we told others of our challenge and found many others like us struggling with the same issue.  For those that know us, we’re now the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy named Landon.  I think we turned the corner when our fears and anxiety met the light of day and openness of conversation with cherished friends.
  4. Complacency – This may seem extremely odd compared to the previous (and definitely more serious) elements of fear listed above, but it is real.  I’m terrified I don’t do enough.  I don’t take enough calculated risks and go bigger, faster, harder than I’m currently doing.  I fear someone else is putting in more effort and could be getting a step ahead of where I stand today.  For some reason, I believe this is the fear of growing older and not looking back with regret.  I can’t stand the feeling or thought of regret.

Why do I tell you all of this?

Because fears have a much tougher time living in your head and gaining momentum when they’re introduced to oxygen and the world.  I don’t know this to be 100% true, but tell me the number of times you’ve heard of someone, only one person, in the ENTIRE WORLD facing a challenge?  It doesn’t happen too often!

This is the exact reason we have to get our fears out.  Share them.  Write them down.  Talk about them with those you trust.  Fears do not stand a chance when they are introduced to: oxygen, friendship, and action.  The reason is pretty ridiculous and simple.  Fears grow with stagnation.  You have to do what author Jon Acuff suggests when he says, “Punch fear in the face!”

Fears are CRUSHED when challenged.

ACTION ITEM: I want to you put one of your fears out in the open.  If you’re comfortable with it, I’d really love to see a list of fears fill the comments section of this post.  The tribe will be there to support you.  I promise.  Get comfortable in attack mode.

When Money Isn’t An Excuse, Then What?

The answer to this question is different for every individual and every scenario.  Here’s mine.

I had the idea of starting this blog for about six months.  Here is a snapshot of my ideas.  I’ve probably got notes in three to four different notebooks around the house of different blog post ideas and perspectives.

What took so long?  What was I afraid of?

I’ll tell you exactly what was going through my head:

  • I was afraid of what someone might say.
  • What if someone challenged the thoughts I believed in my heart and soul?
  • What if no one read it?
  • Could I stick to it and continue to publish?
  • Would my friends be honest with me and offer candid feedback?

At the exact same time in my life, I happened to be listening to an audiobook last summer aptly titled, “Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, and Do Work that Matters”.  Read it or listen to it.  Here is a link and image to Amazon.com. Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters

Jon begins the book with a story (No! I’m not going to give it all away) about a flight he was  on from Dallas to Baltimore.  A wise Grandma leaned in after reading Jon’s book and said to him, “What do you do when all the excuses you use to not chase your dream are gone, what do you do then?”

Kick in the nuts!

A change in thinking occurred.  What if I wasn’t asking the right questions?  What if I wasn’t afraid of everything that wouldn’t happen and instead was afraid of everything that COULD happen?  Please read this statement again.

  • What happens when thousands of people read the content?
  • What happens when people use this blog to make better decisions?
  • What happens when readers of this blog communicate without me being the conduit?
  • What happens when the response and feedback is AWESOME?
  • What happens when the content changes someone’s life?

After listening to Jon’s book a few more times, I came to the realization that many of us are more afraid of how great something could be and the work that will come with it, instead of the fear of starting.  I understand this may sound crazy, but the reality is I had absolutely no excuse and nothing to lose choosing to START this blog.

Truth be told, I spent a couple hundred dollars on the hosting, the URL (for a few years), and a couple other odds and ends.  These investments are monetary.  The investment of my time and learning (as I’d never built a blog before) was the real investment.

ACTION ITEM: I really recommend reading Jon’s book.  I also recommend sitting down by yourself with a pen and a blank pad of paper.  Answer this question: What is keeping you from your AWESOME?

Why Am I Wearing Handcuffs

I’d like to introduce you to a pair of handcuffs.

Handcuffs = Mental Restraints

Handcuffs = Mental Restraints

Many of us wear them, but you won’t see them in plain sight.  Others are burdened by the immense weight of many pairs of handcuffs, but you won’t see them either.  With all this said, where am I possibly looking to find all these handcuffs?

They exist in the simple statements listed below:

  • I’m too qualified to do this
  • I’m too short
  • I’m too out of shape
  • I’m too new to the team
  • I’m too dumb to learn a new skill
  • I’m too new to the marketplace
  • I’m too upset
  • I’m too afraid to be challenged
  • I’m too depressed
  • I’m too emotional
  • I’m too young
  • I’m too broke
  • I’m too DAMN SCARED!

You see where I’m going with this?

Each of these statements are uttered by millions of people every day and in doing such, they might as well put on a pair of handcuffs for every one of them.  I know I’ve said them.  I’m sure you have too.

After listening to hundreds of podcasts on leadership and entrepreneurship there is a very common thread the very successful follow.

They DO NOT let others dictate their path to success or allow thoughts of “I’m too…” to cloud their thinking or progress.  They go for it and are unapologetic about their quest.

ACTION ITEM: It is almost as certain as the sunrise tomorrow; an “I’m too…” thought will invade your brain and the powerful work you’re masterminding.  My process to immediately counteract this is to:

  1. Embrace the Feeling
  2. Challenge It 
  3. Take Action Against It