How Will You Arrive?

Fresh off a 5K run. Drenched in sweat and about to text my buddy Steve.

As the sun rises and the sun sets, I step closer and closer to that milestone birthday I once dreaded and made fun of in my 20s. Now as this milestone quickly approaches, I’m hopeful to believe life is less than half complete. Yes I’ll confess my age. I’m on the doorstep of 40!

What inevitability awaits is marketed to us on the daily. Do gray hairs now populate my head and beard? Could the waistline be slightly expanding? Is my club head speed beginning to deteriorate?

A couple months back around the holidays I was texting with a good friend of mine after a workout. Sweaty, but feeling energized from my recent accomplishment pounding the treadmill for a few miles I reminded him of the impending doom on our horizon. Our 40th birthdays would both come calling in March of 2022.

The question wasn’t if we’d make it to the milestone. No. We were certainly on a crash course with a “mid-life” encounter. The question I posed to him was, “How will we arrive at 40?”

How would I arrive for my wife?

Would I have the vitality necessary to keep a 20-year relationship fun and strong? Would I be desirable in my life choices or is the beer gut winning out? Am I doing my best to balance being a provider, a parent and a partner?

How would we arrive for my kids?

Would we have the energy, or more than enough energy to keep up with them as they grow out of babies into their adolescent years? Do we own enough discipline to know when to put work away and pickup a ball or book with our kids?

How would we arrive for ourselves?

How is our physical, mental and spiritual health at a time when we’re pulled in so many directions? Are we continuing to take on new and curious challenges to keep growing as individuals? Do we also own a deep gratitude to know we are “enough” today?

How would we arrive for our friends?

Are we someone a friend can trust or count on in a time of need? Or are we the one who seldom returns a call or text? Instead choosing the lazy route of disappearing into the ether of a “busy” life void of the connections we truly cherish?

A decade ago…

I shared somewhat similar and more surface level thoughts about this topic as I was nearing 30 and trying (unsuccessfully at the time) to start a family. Was I the reason my wife and I were unable to conceive? Was it my lifestyle that needed an overhaul? If we were blessed with kids, how would I arrive as a parent?

Time is a wonderful teacher. Ten years and a lot of life in between offer more perspective and more thoughtful reflection as I continue on this journey called life.

I now understand life is consistently presenting us with milestones. Each milestone contains a mini finish line on the horizon. Each finish line provides an opportune time time to ask, “How will I arrive when I break the tape of _______________ life event?

If you currently find yourself addicted, overweight, out of shape, anxious, or simply less than your best self…look forward to your next milestone and leverage the journey ahead for meaningful progress.

I don’t care if you’re soon to be graduating college, turning 30, welcoming your first child, turning 50, or soon to be 80 years young. Life is giving us all the opportunity to pause and take stock. Not that we are perfect or in pursuit of perfection. But that we HAVE ARRIVED!

HOW WILL YOU ARRIVE?

Smashing January’s Scorecard

What a terrific start to the year!

What gets measured, gets managed ~ Peter Drucker

January 2022 started off sulking my Iowa Hawkeyes bowl loss on New Year’s Day with a few icy blue Coors Lights. Alas, the next day I started dry January (a day late) with a renewed purpose and new goal pursuits for the new year.

If there’s a word I’m really leaning into for this year it is CONSISTENCY. I think the image below sums up it up pretty well. Less of the left…more of what’s on the right. [Relying on Motivation vs. Consistency]

Moreover, when I’m operating more on the right…I find rhythm. This leads to momentum and I’m ALL FOR steering momentum vs. trying to generate it from a dead stop. I wrapped up 2021 completing over 5,500 pull ups (with a goal of 3,650) and I’m hoping to continue the momentum from the back half of last year into 2022 (already at 1,100+).

My SCORECARD is about vitality metrics. It’s not a specific workout or calorie counting exercise. It’s about momentum, feeling good and the power of a great night of sleep (even when my 3 year old comes in from time to time).

Below are the elements I believe helped me generate and maintain a ton of momentum in January and ultimately led me to crush my goals.

January 2022 Momentum:

  • Consistency – Simple as it sounds, daily work and focus wins out. Even if it’s just a little bit. Not trying to over do it and win the war in a day. Showing up for battle after battle produces progress. Progress leads to momentum – – – – > Forward
  • Peloton – We invested in a Peloton in 2021 and I’m loving it. I booked 20+ rides in January. What else are you going to do when it’s -20 and dark outside? It’s a terrific sweat and something I honestly didn’t think I’d be so into. So far I’m partnering the rides with their meditation classes, which I think are REALLY solid.
  • Dry January – This has been a really good reset for my body. I don’t think I’ll be giving up alcohol indefinitely, but I will be paying more and more attention to how it makes me feel and also the impact on sleep.
  • Sleep – I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post. Sleep is the ultimate lever for how I feel. I do think alcohol is playing a role here to the point above. I’ll also add that if I meditate, stretch, or a combo of both before bed, a great night of sleep is almost certain to follow. As are some crazy vivid dreams!
  • Wim Hof Method – I’ve been sprinkling in Wim Hof Method breathing exercises with my meditation practice. Here is a quick YouTube link to a beginner session (it’s only 11:00). And yes, I’ve also started ending my morning shower with a couple mins of cold, COLD water. I guess I’m a sucker for self-improvement.
  • Checking ALL the Boxes – I’ll reiterate, my scorecard is about creating and maintaining VITALITY in life. Success breeds success. Hitting stride in one platform, leads to progress in another. Fitness + Spiritual + Knowledge.

Finding Momentum in February

As January comes to a close and we wave goodbye to frigid temperatures, there is a good chance many are also waving goodbye to well thought out “New Years Resolutions” promised just 30 days ago. So What!!! Inaction finds us all. Flush it and move on. Don’t dwell.

I beg of you, I implore you, start February anew and find progress in the smallest effort in the right direction. Look to the image above from Liz Fosslien and embrace this. Everyone starts at the bottom left stair. Everyone.

Content Consumed in January:

  1. Finding Ultra (Rich Roll)- Audiobook
  2. Stories That Stick (Kindra Hall) – hard copy
  3. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Shame (Alice Shirey)
  4. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Fear (Doug Tensen)
  5. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Disappointment (Dave Bartlett)

Lessons from 5,500+ PULL-UPS

I’m writing this having surpassed my 2021 pull up goal by over 150%. But that in itself isn’t the lesson I’m hopeful to share here.

Wrapping up 2020 I knew I needed to do something different. Something challenging with my body and something different with my mind.

Starting the year I filled out Tony Robbins’ Rapid Planning Method worksheet (Follow the Link – I encourage you to use it!). The Rapid Planning Method is one part goal setting, one part reason for having the goal in the first place. I listed three goals. One of my goals was to complete 3,650 pull ups. Pretty simple math behind this one. Ten per day, every day, for an entire year. But achieving my goal was going to take consistency and time.

Easy to do. Easy NOT to do.

Slight Edge Principles. The time required to complete 10 pull ups is about 15 seconds (Maybe less). Let that sink in. A total of 15 seconds of output per day was my target. But, that wasn’t going to be the real challenge…the EVERY DAY part was! This wasn’t a goal for my biceps and back. It was a goal to flex my discipline muscle.

I Struggle with Discipline

Short term discipline I’m ok with. But the staying power required to complete looooong tasks is not a talent of mine. I become bored and typically move on to something else. I experience this finishing a book I’m less than interested in or staying with diet/lifestyle choices for long periods of time. This behavior has not proven to be detrimental, but I had a feeling I could do so much better if I pushed through the boredom.

So What Happened in 2021?

  1. In 2020 I had the exact same pull up goal – But I quit shy of 1,500 (insert bummer emoji). Not sure why, other than what I mentioned in the paragraph above. I simply quit showing up to the bar. I got bored I guess because if you think about it, a pandemic is a PERFECT opportunity to knock out home workouts.
  2. 2021 HOT START – As with my addictive personality, I was off and running in January 2021 and feeling pretty good. Ahead of pace with few “missed days” in the process. The early goal was consistency and not try and overdo it.
  3. Feb/March/April – I fell off the face of the earth as my Ulcerative Colitis flared up and my energy level was entirely zapped with work and parenting duties. I’d fallen behind…well behind and I was weak to boot! Signal – – – – > quitting time!
  4. QUITTING TIME – Goal: 3,650. I’d done a little over 400. I had 3,250 left to complete and 7 months to do so. Given my situation I could’ve easily thrown in the towel. No one would fault me…except myself. Realistically all that changed was my 10/day target, moved north to 15+. Still 100% achievable if I’d commit.
  5. MAY 2021 – Sometime after another colonoscopy, some helpful steroids and my body beginning to heal itself, I got back on the bar. I had work to. I was nearly 1,000 reps behind pace for where I “should have been” if I’d stuck to my 10/day/everyday commitment.
  6. MOMENTUM – Sometime in the summer/fall I hit my stride and momentum kicked in. There were days I was completing 50, 70, or 100+ reps. I was chasing down my goal like a hungry dog chasing a meat truck and I had the calluses to prove it.
  7. 11/3/2021 – I hit target and damn it FELT GOOD!! This also meant I had nearly 60 days left in 2021 to create separation from my goal. I even started adding weight of 10-20 lbs. between my legs on sets.

Thus a new and good habit is born, for when an act becomes easy through constant repetition it becomes a pleasure to perform and if it is a pleasure to perform it is a man’s nature to perform it often. When I perform it often it becomes a habit and I become its slave and since it is a good habit this is my will

The Greatest Salesman in the World (The Scroll Marked I)

In reality, the annual pull up target isn’t really impressive. After all, David Goggins once did just over 4,000 pull ups in 24 hrs. One day! That said, my goal achievement did give me the momentum needed to see what’s possible. I’m thinking next year the target is 10,000 (after all…it isn’t even 30/day).

Like many others, I can be impatient in the pursuit of a BIG goal or target. Sprinting when I should be jogging and also resting when I should also be walking. This duel edged sword can be both good and prove incredibly challenging for someone like me when pursuing a lengthy goal. What helped me the most in 2021 was breaking the annual target into daily achievable numbers and staying the course. Small efforts magnified by time.

Don’t Eat the Whole Elephant

Those who work with me know I frequently use the saying, “Don’t eat the whole elephant, but instead…keep taking bites!” Small, intentional bites in pursuit of accomplishing the target!” Progress > Perfection.

As we step forward into another year the word RESOLUTION will be thrown around wildly in the coming days and weeks. My advice would be, RESOLVE to set daily or weekly targets and PUNT the New Year’s Resolution nonsense. Let the daily work and accumulation take care of itself. You can accomplish a WHOLE LOT of anything x 365!

I’ll leave you with the image on the right. Every rep accounted for on the backside of the drywall in my basement (sorry honey!).

Top 5 Posts of 2021

Reflecting back on 2021, I see a year of challenge, renewal and momentum.

Incase you’re not a subscriber (subscribe below), or even if you are, you might have missed out on one of these gems. This is a quick recap of my top 5 blog posts of 2021 based on readership and engagement. Selfishly speaking, it was a fun exercise pulling together this content. I hope you enjoy this curated list this holiday season.

TOP 5 POSTS of 2021:

  1. Earn Your Comfort – Happiness is NOT purchased through luxury, comfort and general ease. It’s purchased through progress and effort. Comfort is to be earned!
  2. Starting Over. Week 1. Day 1. – Habits win out over time. This post is a reflection on where my bad habits left me earlier in 2021 (in a bad place) and the consequent journey out of a challenging time in my life.
  3. The Four Pillars of Progress – This post unlocks my pillars to vitality. If I got only these four efforts right, the rest of life falls in line because my energy, output and sleep are aligned accordingly. The older I get, the more I’m focused on these efforts.
  4. Greenlights and Havard Business Review Collide – Life is undoubtably a journey of managing the +/- being thrown at us. At times, momentum is effortless and we “find our frequency” and flow in the journey. This post will help you pay attention to times when it is all clicking. Pay attention to what you’re doing, who you’re with and how you feel. Be on the lookout for your own Greenlights.
  5. Career Advice: Leave a Dent! – I made a large career change late in 2021. This change left me reflecting back on all the connections I’d made and the impactful moments I’d shared along the way. Business comes and goes, but we can always make sure to leave people with a lasting impact!

Looking forward into 2022 I will use the momentum generated from these posts to continue delivering my unique (Keen) perspective to the readers out there.

~Cheers to a healthy, wealthy and fulfilled new year!

Question Yourself. Why do I want this?

With the holiday season in full swing, the prominent question being asked, texted, emailed and discussed is, “What do you want for Christmas?”

I’d like to pursue wealth.

Let that sink in for a moment. Kind of tough to put wrapping paper around that one…let alone find a box.

Now read the thought below from Epictetus (Shared by Ryan Holiday on The Daily Stoic).

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants"

The more I think about the blinding commercial spirit of Christmas in 2021, the more I can come up with a seemingly long list of unnecessary “things” I desire this year.

Mind you, I’m nearly 40…so the secret of Santa is out, and having a Christmas list at my age is a touch ridiculous.

But, what if instead of pursuing a Christmas wishlist, we removed the holiday seasonality from the original ask and thought more broadly and simply.

What do I want?

I’m going to give you a short list of considerations on my list and more importantly HOW I’m thinking about them. Having spent two decades in the world of marketing, I’m consistently reminded of the true power and trance like pull of BRANDING and the stories we tell ourselves about needs, wants and value.

The considerations listed below are what I believe are those really nice to have, but certainly not necessary things I think many of us think about, and sometimes pine over.

  • Transportation – I’ve looked and looked and looked at purchasing a “fancier” car. Specifically I’ve looked into a BMW our Audi purchase a few times (maybe a few too many). The vehicle would be sleek, stylish, and downright sexy with European styling and finishes. Truth be told, it wouldn’t break the bank and “I’ve earned it”…right? Then I start asking the hard question. WHY DO I WANT IT? At the end of the day it’s really just transportation and I have more than suitable means anyway. I guess I’m thinking I’d earn a bit of prestige or steal a look from onlookers as I roll by, but that’s really just ego talking. I’m convinced it could make me happier and possibly even grow my confidence…but how long would that luster last? A week, maybe two? Then I’d just be paying for a depreciating asset that gets me from [A – – > B] just the same as my Grand Cherokee…which is perfectly functional. I’ll set this one aside for now for I believe although I may enjoy it, I don’t know if it will truly make me happier or more fulfilled.
  • Watch – Any self respecting achieving man and Ray Donovan viewer knows you need a badass watch on your wrist if you’ve “made it” in life. If you’re really CRUSHING IT, you’ll have a few to choose from laying nicely in a finely finished wooden collectors box. I fashioned myself in a Rolex or a Tag Heuer “timepiece” (not a watch…DUH). Then I start asking the hard question. WHY DO I WANT IT? At first I was going to commemorate a business deal. It would carry with it a STRONG sense of achievement. A timeless reminder of pursuit and accomplishment. But really, at the end of the day a (functioning) watch tells time. Does anyone I’m interacting with on a daily basis care how I get the time? Doubtful. I’ve chosen to pass on this one for now as well and I’m not sure if I ever get there.

I’d like to state I have absolutely no ill will for those driving luxury cars or wearing a fine timepiece. I hope they love them and the love their decisions. It’s also important to note, I have ZERO idea how any of these people arrived at their purchase decision, nor is it up to me! Cheers to you! Celebrate it.

That said, this isn’t a post about things. It’s a post about thoughts regarding things. For me, this is when I go back and read the words of Epictetus.

Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.

I can’t say if I’m “wealthy” by Epictetus’ definition, but I’m certainly in pursuit. After all, I still have wants. They find me almost every day. Maybe they’re not wants, maybe they’re desires. But I’m able to step back and think critically through them without being pulled by the strong tethers of emotion.

Furthering on this thought, the stoics are masters at positioning. Being mindful of what things really are when they are distilled down to their essence. Marcus Aurelius summarizes it perfectly in this quote,

“How good it is when you have roast meat or suchlike foods before you, to impress on your mind that this is the dead body of a fish, this is the dead body of a bird or pig; and again, that the Falernian wine is the mere juice of grapes, and your purple edged robe simply the hair of a sheep soaked in shell-fish blood!

I enjoy life and appreciate indulging in the “finer things” as much as the next. But they won’t own me, for that wouldn’t fulfill my wishful Christmas ask. True wealth sits not in a number or stuff. Wealth is about FREEDOM.

Happy Holidays!

Career Advice: Leave a DENT!

I find myself writing this on the heels of making a big career move. In nearly 20 years, it’s really only the second one of my career and I find myself reflecting on the last seven years spent with my team.

The advice I give teammates about departing talent is always the same. “When a person departs…I hope they left a dent,” I’d say. Why would I say that?

Here’s why a person needs to leave a DENT:

  • It shows the work they were contributing really mattered
  • It shows other people counted on them for: insight, or advice, or thoughtfulness in a tough time
  • If their work didn’t matter…why were they there in the first place?
  • If their work didn’t matter, what do you think it was like going home for them? Or, what do you think a Monday morning felt like? Pretty flat.
  • A dent is a noticeable blemish. Yet, it isn’t catastrophic in nature like a wheel was removed from the bike in departure. Leave an impact…not a mess. The work will go on and you hope the team prospers in their endeavors!
  • Imagine a teammate leaving, and the following day someone says, “Where did Mike go?” The answer is met with some vague shrug of the shoulders description and everyone goes right back to what they were doing. What an empty feeling for Mike and the team!! You think he didn’t know that in the days or weeks leading up to him leaving?
  • Leaving a dent means you’ll miss things about your coworkers and company.

Leaving a DENT isn’t about deals or money

I’m incredibly fortunate to have team members reach out and say some VERY kind words in my departure. Not a single one of them was about a piece of business won, or revenue generated, or a P&L. They’re all about making an impact in each others lives. As proof, I’m posting a few of them below. Selfish as it may seem, I’d like to come back to them in the future and this will be a great place to do just that.

Almost everyone will eventually depart. When you do, LEAVE A DENT!

To my colleagues who took the time to put your words in writing. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

Man I hate to see you go. I’m sure you will fill us all in on your new adventure in due time. I certainly wish you nothing but the best of luck. I will miss you my friend – and I thank you for the opportunity and pleasure to work with you. I’m excited for you Zac. Thank you for everything. 

I was saddened to hear you’re leaving Mindstream but completely understand wanting to do something new! It’s been a pleasure working with you the past 5 years and I’ve always appreciated your positivity in any scenario. I’m so grateful for all the support you’ve shown me and just wanted to say thank you! I wish you all the best and hope our paths cross again.

Morning! Long time no chat : ) A lot has changed since the 2019, pre covid, good ole days ha. Saw the Friday vid and wanted to make sure I got a good luck in prior to you leaving. You are overall just a solid guy and a good leader – best of luck in what comes next. I know you will be great and an asset! Cheers to your next adventure!

Good morning and THANK YOU! Hi Zac, sad to hear you are leaving… I just wanted to say I appreciate all your contributions to my personal growth. All the best to you and your family!

Hey Zac. Good Luck to you!! Hate to see you go. By the way, (I know you don’t want to hear it since you are a Hawkeyes fan) but did you see that Cyclone win this weekend? I was at the game. It was so good!!! My nephew graduated from Iowa State in 2020, so we went back for the homecoming game. Have a good last week. I wish you the best.

Good luck on where you are going and thanks for all the support these past few years. I feel like I have learned a lot just from being part of the conversations that you led. Wish you the best in your next leadership role!

Zac, it’s been an honor to work alongside you! I wish you luck in the future and I hope we cross paths again. Thanks for everything!

I am heading to the airport soon but just wanted to say I have really enjoyed working with you the last couple years. You taught me a lot and I always appreciated your positivity and upbeat energy you bring. New business will definitely have a void without you but wanted to wish you well on your next endeavor

I was OOO Friday and just now learned of your departure. That makes me sad, but sincerely happy you have the opportunity to follow a new path in life. I wanted to thank you for the coaching, assistance and partnership as we’ve worked to together over the past couple of years. I’ve learned a lot from you. Thanks for for everything! It’s been a true pleasure working with you. Wishing you much success with your new gig.

I am sad to hear about your departure, but excited for you and your new opportunity. You will be greatly missed! I have enjoyed getting to know you and working with you over these past few years. I remember meeting you at Meso Maya when merger talks were in progress when we hung out in that upstairs room eating great Mexican food. I have always been impressed with your enthusiasm and passion for our business! I always learn something when we talk. I just wish there had more opportunities for us to get to know each other better/work more together. 

Know this! I’m faaaaaarr from perfect. I don’t think everyone had the same feeling. I made a boatload of mistakes along the way. I also leave with confidence knowing…I left a DENT!

Earn Your Comfort

I used to think the goal of life was to seek or retire into comfort. Some would do this at 45, others maybe 75…but retire nonetheless. Comfortable. In the meantime during the pursuit, I’d take some time out of every week to be…comfortable.

I’m now convinced this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The goal of life is continued progress. Working through hard things, for the benefit of personal growth and progress.

Someday when I do retire, I want to arrive there knowing it was EARNED.

“We must all either wear out or rust out, every one of us. My choice is to wear out.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Unearned or continued comfort is called laziness. Reminds me of the Seven Deadly Sins and the sin of Sloth.
But sloth isn’t only laziness, it is also carelessness, unwillingness to act, half-hearted effort, or becoming easily discouraged by possible difficulty.

When Everything is Satisfaction

Too much of a good thing, connects my thoughts to the often used analogy of the “rich kid, with a cocaine habit!” Everything given to him, such that he works for nothing, appreciates nothing, is motivated by nothing because there was no struggle to achieve what was gifted (in this instance, money and time). Instead of work and progress toward a goal, he focuses his efforts and energy on a substance that gives him that lonely “high” he’s searching for. That comfort and release he’s been so desperately looking for. When everything is satisfaction and easy, satisfaction is unearned and empty.

Friday Feels

There is something really wonderful about a Friday evening after you’ve made the most of a week kicking ass Monday through Friday. Earning the opportunity to have a great dinner, or a cocktail, or simply to put your feet up, feels infinitely better when reflecting on progress of a week vs. just moving through the motions.

Challenge Comfort with Progress

Tony Robbins says, “Progress equals Happiness!” This is exactly what I think “earning comfort” looks like. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Progress, reward. Say it out loud. It FEELS DAMN GOOD! It feels like momentum. This is exactly why successful people continue to be successful oftentimes in greater magnitudes. They’ve generated tremendous momentum and they literally can’t be stopped. Successful people generate too much momentum and have reservoirs of progress to tap into when they hit a lull.

Rich Roll Said it Best

I shared this in my last post, and I think it’s worth sharing here again. Rich Roll on happiness.

Rich Roll says the following: “We’re in a culture that is driving everybody toward this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury, comfort and ease. And the truth could not be more different from that reality. If you want to find peace with yourself, self understanding, self knowledge, self esteem, all of these things are going to be found through: sacrifice, getting uncomfortable, re-evaulating what your normal is and putting yourself in situations you don’t want to f*cking do” “RICH ROLL PODCAST – EPISODE 413”


The Answer in Children’s Eyes

I’ll leave you with this. My son is currently learning how to read real books and it’s an exciting engagement every night we dive into a book (< – – – insert challenge). We work with him every week on learning new words from school, but this isn’t about learning “level 3 words” as much as it is about feels to me. The reaction a child produces when they learn something new is astounding. You can literally see the spark in their eyes, and their physiology changes in an instant due to the challenge just conquered. The world is theirs for a moment! More importantly, momentum is earned and stored to tackle the next phase of learning and the next challenge.

We’re all evolved children. You need that spark. I need that spark. We must combat boredom with progress and earn our comfort.

Starting Over. Week 1. Day 1.

I despise starting over. But beginning Feb. 26, 2021…that’s exactly where I was.

I spent that cold Iowa Friday night with some friends on the golf simulator at our golf course. A few too many beers and a few months of COVID (family, business, life) stress led me to making a decision I knew I’d regret as I’d spent years staying clear of it.

I’d chew tobacco again. But it wasn’t really that I’d chew again that specific night, it was more that I’d been doing a lesser version of this same habit (Camel Snus) for a few months in 2020 and most importantly – – – – > hiding it from my wife. But this night it was the real stuff and it was placed directly against my gums…and it tasted G-R-E-A-T. It was sending ALL the signals to my brain I knew I’d have to fight on my hands…tomorrow.

The next day I was filled with a poor night of sleep and a titanic-sized boat load of shame with my family. I was starting over and I knew what the addiction battle that lie ahead looked like and that I needed to rebuild my body and health.

The prognosis was simple: two weeks of hell followed by bits of progress and commitment. But the good news is I’d done it before, and that was the silver lining.

Let me rewind.

I quit chewing in 2011. I know this because I kept a diary my first 100 days of quitting. Sept 12th was my first “Days Upon Days” email to myself (I’ve shared these with no one). I’d slipped up two days prior to writing this message. I was watching the Iowa vs. Iowa State game in 2011. It was a 44-41 overtime thriller and one of the last times in a decade Iowa State would beat Iowa (sorry, couldn’t resist Cyclone fans). I was six days into my quit and I’d given in. I was at my friend’s parents house (Kalli you’ll remember).
Here’s proof of my first email to myself.

The following week would present the same challenge as the week before. Tailgating. Make it past seven days. Eventually I did, and continued to write about my journey the whole way, past day 100 and beyond. If I’m ever deep in a challenge, I relate back to these messages to understand what I’m capable of taking on, and what real perseverance looks and feels like. It starts as pain, and ends in progress.

At this moment in my own personal reflection, I’m quite certain you’re asking yourself, “Why is he telling me this?” “What is it about this story that needs to be shared now?”

I’m sharing because I’m staring to embrace the concept of starting over and energy of the rebuild. I’m making a game out of it.

Life isn’t a straight line and people make mistakes. God knows I’ve made my fair share and I’m sure I’ve got more waiting for me.

Most importantly, I know people this very moment struggling and battling with a variety of similar challenges and they’re all MEN I respect. I’m talking with some men daily and others weekly as they work to make progress in their journey. They’re all in different phases of the rebuild and “starting over” from any one or two of the things listed below:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Alcoholism
  • Stress from Business Collapse
  • Addiction
  • Marital Issue
  • Combo order of elements above (add two, shake and scream)

I’m sharing this for my friends, colleagues and peers to know they’re not alone. Everyone is dealing with some shit. The rebuild isn’t humiliating. It’s an empowering challenge. And although it may suck now, it doesn’t have to suck forever. There is a way through and it’s actually incredibly mobilizing with momentum.

Dealing with stress, or anxiety, or addiction doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. Everybody’s got something.
How do I know? Listen to this podcast with olympian Michael Phelps (23 gold medals) talking through his struggles. Tim Ferriss Show Episode 494. Michael Phelps now famously stated, “It’s OK, to not be OK!”

I love that. It’s OK, to not be OK!

If you’d like more mental resources, here is another I recently feel in love with from Rich Roll and David Goggins. Start your watch at 1:46:38 when Rich says, “Then it becomes about Willingness…”

Lastly, Rich says the following: “We’re in a culture that is driving everybody toward this idea that happiness is purchased through luxury, comfort and ease. And the truth could not be more different from that reality. If you want to find peace with yourself, self understanding, self knowledge, self esteem, all of these things are going to be found through: sacrifice, getting uncomfortable, re-evaulating what your normal is and putting yourself in situations you don’t want to f*cking do”

“Rich Roll Podcast – Episode 413”

~Damn Rich. Love this! Thank you!

One last thought I’d like to share is, “Be weary of the quick fix.”

I know I’m guilty of wanting answers and progress immediately in life, especially in times of struggle. But that’s just not likely, nor will the results stick. Results have to be trained in with habits. Good habits.

I’m reminded of lottery winners who win tens of millions in a jackpot…then go broke. Why on earth would a lottery winner go broke!?!?! Because they didn’t have good money habits in the first place. The money was transient. The habits won out. They’re broke again.

Today upon publishing this piece it’s Oct. 7th and I’m feeling really great. My body and mind are in an entirely different place than where they were six months ago. Looking back I was broken, body inflamed, stressed and tired. I still feel the temptation, and I will continue to, but that’s ok. I’m aware and being aware is the shit!

My habits are also in a different place. I’m on a mission to knock out 3,650 pull ups this year (10 per day). It’s a feat I gave up on in 2020 and only amassed 1,400 before quitting. I’m proud to say I’m nearly at 3,000 and I’m gaining momentum every day. Three months ago I started running again to get a good sweat in and free some mental space. I still don’t like running, but I love the cleanse of a good sweat.

(Good/Bad)Habits win over time!

Choose your habits wisely.

If any element of this post hits with you, I’d share with you one final quote,

Henceforth, I will consider each day’s effort as but one blow of my blade against a mighty oak. The first blow may cause not a tremor in the wood, nor the second, nor the third. Each blow, of itself may be trifling, and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble. So it will be with my efforts of today

“The Greatest Salesman in the World” ~OG Mandino

F.E.A.R.

This one will be short and sweet for all of us that need to hear it.

How does fear come to life for you?

  • False evidence appearing real 
  • Frantic effort to appear recovered 
  • Future events already ruined 
  • Fear expressed allows relief 

I’ve personally been afraid of many things in my life…and yet, none of them have come to be. Sunday is a good day to face what we believe to be true and let these thoughts hit the light of day!

PS – this post was inspired by the Tim Ferriss podcast and guest Anne Lamott. A terrific listen and worth the time.

The First 10 are the Hardest

I set a goal in 2021 to complete 3,650 pull ups. Pretty simple really, 10x per day, 365 days and boom…done!

Slight Edge Principles. Small actions (x) magnified by TIME = BIG RESULTS!

The psychology behind this isn’t only to do 10 per day. It’s to establish momentum doing 10 per day, EVERY DAY, such that it becomes easy and soon I’d be knocking out 20, 30, 50 or more a day. Soon repeat sets of 10 would turn into sets of 15-20. Putting me in a position of tremendous momentum to squash my mere 3,650 target and be in pursuit of 5,000+.


Except…you guessed it. That didn’t happen!

I got lost, lazy, not feeling great and forgetful in the 1st quarter of the year. Every day consequently I fell behind 10 per day for about 80-90 days. Or in bigger terms 800-900 behind my needed pace. Now what?!?!? The answer is never about moving the target to adjust for laziness.

My pull up bar is in the storage area of our basement. I mark my sets of ten with an “X” on the wall next to the bar like an inmate counting his days at Shawshank. X, X, X, X, X… There is no digital replacement for the feeling of accomplishment of scratching my lead pencil into the back of a sheet of drywall. Scratch /, scratch \…(X)DONE!

Basement Wall Pull-ups


Getting back, the 1st 10 was the hardest.
Getting back in running shape, the 1st mile was the hardest. I felt like my heart was going to rip through my chest and my legs felt like heavy noodles only 1/2 mile in.

As I regained my meditation practice, the first ten minutes of calming the hamster in my mind (who happened to feel like he was on a rager!) was the ABSOLUTE hardest.

Where am I now? I’m happy to report beginning August I’m in full “catch up” mode. Knocking out at least 50 or more pull-ups a day, sometimes closer to 100. I will surpass 3,650 in 2021. Write that down.

The point of this post is about embracing the suck of starting. It’s about embracing the pain and steep learning curve of starting anything. Immediately starting or learning any new skill or engaging a new regimen is going to take perseverance. Search “Learning Curve” and look at the image.

It’s going to suck right away. I’m going to suck right away. The technique will be poor and the outcome sloppy. But that’s the point!

I was listening to Anne Lamott (author of Bird by Bird) on the Tim Ferriss podcast. She teaches the power of “Shitty First Drafts” as they lead to good second drafts and terrific third drafts. The key is putting in the work. Getting your ass in the chair and sitting down to write.

The hardest part for me in this quest is simple. Grab the bar.

Just like the hardest part of a run is lacing up my running shoes.

Grab the bar, lace’em up and embrace the suck of starting!

What’s on the other side is the momentum needed to hit targets.