Tag Archives: A Keen Mind

Motivation is a Crutch for Undisciplined Men

Most men think their problem is motivation.

Why can’t I get motivated?

They’re waiting to feel ready.
Waiting to feel driven.
Waiting to feel like today is the day.

But the truth is simpler and harder to admit:

If your plan depends on motivation, it’s already unstable.

Motivation is a feeling.
Feelings change. Quickly!

And busy weeks don’t care what you feel like doing. Especially when you’re a father, husband, business operator/employee.

Why Motivation Fails Under Pressure

Motivation shows up when:

  • Life is calm
  • Sleep is good
  • Stress is low
  • The future feels exciting

But that’s not real life most of the time. At least it’s not for me.

Real life looks like:

  • Early mornings and late nights
  • Work that doesn’t slow down
  • Kids who need you when you’re tired
  • Unexpected problems that don’t wait for perfect timing

Motivation disappears under weight.
Structure doesn’t.

That’s why men who rely on motivation feel strong in January…
and lost or confused by March.

Discipline Isn’t Harsh — It’s Reliable

A lot of men secretly think discipline is punishment. I know I’ve felt this way. I used to workout

Discipline was something rigid.
Something joyless.
Something you “power through.” Cameron Hanes says, “nobody cares, work harder”

That belief guarantees burnout. At least for me.

Discipline isn’t punishment.
It’s what keeps you moving when life gets loud. Jocko Willink wrote about this in, “Discipline equals Freedom”

Not dramatic.
Not impressive.
Just steady. The more disciplined. The more space created freedom.

Discipline is how you keep promises to yourself when no one is watching. <—– oooohhh. I like that. Keep promises.

Micro Habits Beat Big Intentions

Here’s where most men go wrong.

They design habits for their best days.

Then life hands them average days.
Or hard ones.

And the whole system collapses.

Micro habits are built for reality.

They’re small enough to survive every day life:

  • Bad sleep
  • Heavy schedules
  • Stressful seasons
  • Low energy

They don’t aim to impress.
They aim to endure. They aim to sustain momentum.

The Top 5 Micro Habits That Survive Busy Weeks

These aren’t optimal.
They’re durable.

They’re built to work when life doesn’t cooperate.

1. Ten Minutes of Movement

Not a workout.
Just movement.

Walk. Stretch. Push-ups. Anything.

The goal isn’t fitness — it’s identity:
“I’m the kind of man who moves his body, even when I’m busy.”

2. One Glass of Water Before Anything Else

Before coffee.
Before your phone.
Before the day grabs you.

It’s not about hydration alone.
It’s about starting with a decision you control.

3. Five Quiet Minutes Before Noise

No phone.
No news.
No inbox.

Just stillness. Thought. Prayer. Breathing.

The last 40+ days, I’ve started my day with a Wim Hof style breathing. Three rounds. Non-negotiable.

It’s not spiritual heroics.
It’s mental alignment.

4. One Intentional Meal Choice

Not a perfect day of eating.
Just one good choice. For this I start my day with 30g of protein. Forms include: Overnight Oats (most frequent), a smoothie, or quick shake.

I make it the night before so I don’t have to think.

It reminds you that discipline isn’t all-or-nothing.
It’s one decision at a time. Every day.

5. Return Fast After You Slip

This might be the most important habit of all.

You will miss days.
You will fall off.
You will get inconsistent.

The habit isn’t perfection.
It’s speed of return. Again, momentum is easier harnesses than restarting.

“Never miss twice” matters more than never missing.

“I’m the type of man who <insert discipline>” no matter what

Why This Actually Works

Big goals collapse under pressure.
Micro habits adapt.

They don’t rely on:

  • Energy
  • Excitement
  • Perfect timing

They rely on:

  • Simplicity
  • Repetition
  • Identity [Promises Kept]

Every small habit is a vote for the man you’re becoming.

Not in speeches.
In actions.

A Quiet Reality Check

If your discipline only works when life is easy,
it isn’t discipline.

It’s convenience.

The test isn’t your best days.
It’s your busiest ones.

That’s where your real system shows up.

The Question That Matters

What’s the smallest habit you can keep
even when life is heavy
that proves you’re not quitting on yourself?

Start there.

Create momentum then stack another.

Not because it’s impressive.
But because it lasts.

Foundational Shifts: When Business Stops Being Linear

“Businessman pushing a boulder labeled ‘effort’ uphill while another stands on a lever facing a city skyline, symbolizing moving from hard work to leverage and systems.”

The last 60 days have stretched my thinking in ways I didn’t fully anticipate.

This week alone, I was on a call solutioning ideas with people in Colombia. I was resourcing scale options with someone in India. I was being trafficked—guided, supported, kept moving—by a virtual assistant in the Philippines. All of it happening while building out an e-commerce brand I can’t wait to share.

At first, it hit me as shocking.

Then I realized… it really shouldn’t be.

Years ago, Tim Ferriss talked about this in The 4-Hour Workweek—offshoring, leverage, designing life instead of reacting to it. Back then, it felt futuristic. Almost irresponsible.

Now? It’s normal. It’s table stakes.

The Epiphany: Linear Thinking Is the Ceiling

Friday morning I was speaking with an entrepreneur/founder who challenged me in a way I didn’t know I needed.

He wasn’t criticizing my work ethic.
He wasn’t questioning my ambition.

He was questioning my math.

Linear thinking had quietly become my limiter.

I was thinking:

  • More effort = more output
  • More hours = more progress
  • More control = more safety

But the world no longer rewards that model.

The shift is exponential:

  • Better systems beat harder work
  • Better leverage beats longer days
  • Better collaboration beats tighter grip

That conversation was an aha moment—almost an epiphany. The world didn’t slowly change. It fundamentally changed. And if we don’t see that, we’ll unknowingly fight yesterday’s battles with today’s tools.

Leaving a Chapter Isn’t Failure

I’m so genuinely grateful for the line of work I came from. It shaped me. It fed my family. It taught me discipline and opened my eyes to yet another door in the media ecosystem.

But I also felt… boxed in.

Not because it was wrong.
Not because anyone else was wrong.

I just felt held back and I couldn’t punch through without breaking myself.

Stepping into this new world feels different.

Limitless, honestly.

  • Production capabilities? Endless.
  • Creativity? Spiking.
  • Storytelling? Amplified.

And here’s the part that matters most to me: none of this requires abandoning who you are or what you believe.

In fact, the more scalable the world becomes, the more valuable a grounded narrative is. Your beliefs. Your faith. Your integrity. Your real story.

Bigger Thinking, Deeper Roots

As a creator, a builder, a husband, a father—I can’t afford to think linear anymore.

Not for ego.
Not for money alone.
But for impact.

The playing field is bigger now. The barriers are lower. The speed is faster. And the responsibility is heavier.

“Success leaves clues”, I repeat it often…and they are everywhere!!

We can provide more value to more people than ever before—but only if we let go of outdated frameworks that quietly keep us safe and small.

This is an exciting time.

A destabilizing time.
A stretching time.
A faith-testing time.

Hold on tight.

Not because it’s scary—but because if you’re paying attention, you’re about to see just how big the world really is.

The Most Dangerous Lie Christian Men Believe About Ambition

There have been many a season where I questioned my own ambition.

Not in a dramatic way. Quietly.
The kind of questioning that doesn’t show up in conversations, but lingers during long drives or late nights.

I was doing “the right things.”
Faith. Family. Work. Responsibility.

And yet, every time I felt the pull to grow, to build more, earn more, stretch further… there was a subtle tension underneath it all.

Is this godly… or selfish?
Am I trusting God… or chasing control?
At what point does ambition cross a line?

I’ve seen this tension play out in a lot of good men. Men who love their wives. Men who show up for their kids. Men who take their faith seriously.

And over time, I’ve realized there’s a lie sitting quietly at the center of it.

The Lie Sounds Like This

“If I truly trust God, I shouldn’t want more.”

It rarely shows up that cleanly.
It usually disguises itself as wisdom, humility, or contentment.

It sounds like:

  • “I’m just trying to be grateful for what I have.”
  • “I don’t want money to become an idol.” – been there!
  • “I don’t want ambition to pull me away from what matters.” – absolutely lived this!!

On the surface, that all sounds reasonable.

But watch what I experienced next.

Opportunities get delayed.
Growth gets postponed.
Potential gets parked in the name of being “faithful.”

Not because a man is lazy.
But because he’s afraid of wanting the wrong thing.

Why This Lie Is So Comfortable

This lie offers protection.

If you keep your ambition small:

  • You don’t have to risk failing publicly.
  • You don’t have to manage increased responsibility.
  • You don’t have to confront the parts of your life that might not scale well.

It feels spiritually safe.

You can call it patience instead of fear.
You can call it trust instead of avoidance.
You can call it humility instead of hesitation.

But over time, something subtle happens.

Men don’t become more peaceful. They become restrained.
Not surrendered. Just smaller.

Ambition Isn’t the Problem

Here’s the reframe that changed things for me:

Ambition isn’t the enemy of faith.
Misalignment is.

Ambition is a force, like fire.
It can warm a home or burn it down.

The issue isn’t whether you have ambition.
It’s whether your ambition is ordered or avoided.

Faith doesn’t cancel desire.
It directs it.

When ambition runs without alignment, it destroys things. I know I’ve felt this.
When ambition is avoided altogether, it erodes things just as quietly. “without purpose the people perish”

Small Thinking Doesn’t Protect You

This was a hard one to accept.

Playing small doesn’t actually keep your soul safe.

It doesn’t strengthen your marriage.
It doesn’t make your kids more secure.
It doesn’t remove pressure — it redistributes it.

Often onto:

  • A spouse carrying more emotional load
  • A future version of you with fewer options
  • A family dependent on systems instead of leadership

Avoiding growth doesn’t remove responsibility.
It just delays the bill.

Growth Reveals What Needs Strengthening

Here’s something I’ve noticed consistently:

Growth doesn’t corrupt character.
It exposes formation gaps.

More responsibility doesn’t create misalignment — it reveals it.

  • If your body breaks down under pressure, that’s feedback.
  • If your marriage strains, that’s information.
  • If your faith feels thin, that’s an invitation — not a condemnation.

Pressure isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong.
It’s often proof you’re carrying something meaningful.

A Quiet Self-Audit

Here are few questions worth sitting with:

  • Where have I labeled fear as faith?
  • What opportunity am I postponing until I “feel clearer,” even though clarity usually comes after movement? (mood follows action)
  • If my ambition doubled tomorrow, what part of my life would break first?

Those answers matter more than any tactic.

A Different Way to Think About It

God doesn’t ask men to want less.

He asks them to want what lasts.

To carry responsibility without apology.
To pursue growth without losing alignment.
To lead without shrinking themselves in the process.

The question isn’t whether you’re ambitious.

It’s whether you’re willing to steward what you’ve already been given?

Why New Year’s Resolutions Rarely Survive January

January is full of good intentions.

Motivation is high.
Ambition feels clean.
The future looks wide open.

This is the season where people decide who they’re going to become.

And it’s also the season where most of those decisions quietly fall apart.

Not because people don’t want change badly enough.
But because they misunderstand what actually sustains it.

Mistake #1: Building a Resolution on Motivation

New Year’s resolutions assume something that won’t last:

That you’ll feel like this later.

You won’t.

Motivation is a temporary state. Andrew Huberman explains it biologically, dopamine spikes with novelty, then normalizes. James Clear says it more practically: motivation gets you started, but it won’t keep you going.

That’s why January feels powerful.
And March feels heavy.

If your plan depends on how you feel, it’s already fragile.

Micro habits solve this by removing emotion from the equation.
They’re small enough to execute even when motivation disappears.

Mistake #2: Aiming for Transformation Instead of Continuity

Most resolutions aim for dramatic change. I know…I’ve tried it.
WHO HASN’T??

New body.
New discipline.
New lifestyle.

But life doesn’t pause just because the calendar flips.

Stress shows up.
Sleep gets disrupted.
Kids get sick.
Work gets heavy.

And when the plan requires perfect conditions, it collapses. Momentum lost.

James Clear talks about habits needing to be “small enough to succeed on your worst days.” That idea matters more than most people realize. I like to think of it as a dimmer switch. Not fully [OFF], just dialed back

Because consistency isn’t built on great weeks.
It’s built on imperfect ones.

Micro habits keep you in motion, even when progress feels small.
They don’t demand intensity — they preserve continuity.

Mistake #3: Treating Falling Off Track as Failure

This might be the most damaging mistake of all.

Most resolutions don’t fail because people quit.
They fail because people miss a day — and then decide it’s over.

All-or-nothing thinking turns one disruption into abandonment.

But real life doesn’t reward perfection.
It rewards consistency.

A good system doesn’t shame you for falling off.
It makes it easy to start again.

Micro habits lower the barrier to re-entry.
They invite you back instead of punishing you for slipping.

Why Habits Decide the Year — Not Goals

By the first week of January, something important has already started happening.

Not visibly.
Not dramatically.

But quietly, your habits have begun shaping the year.

Not your resolutions.
Not your ambitions.
Your defaults.

What you do when things are busy.
What you return to when life knocks you sideways.
What you choose when no one is watching.

That’s where the year is actually decided.

Small Anchors Create Long-Term Change

Micro habits aren’t impressive.

They won’t make a highlight reel.
They won’t feel transformative in the moment.

But they do one essential thing: they keep you aligned.

Ten minutes of movement.
One glass of water before coffee.
Five minutes of quiet before checking your phone.
One intentional decision when stress hits.

These aren’t finish lines.
They’re anchors for consistent momentum.

This Is How the Year Is Won

Not in January enthusiasm.
Not in bold declarations.

But in March, when progress feels slow.
In July, when routines loosen.
In August, when discipline feels optional.

Big outcomes aren’t built on big resolutions.

They’re built on small habits you refuse to abandon.

So the better question this year isn’t:

What do I want to change?

It’s this:

What’s the smallest habit I can keep — even on my worst days — that keeps me aligned with the man I’m trying to become?

That answer will carry you a lot further than motivation ever will.
~Cheers to a new year!

The Most Important Question of Your Life

I came across this Mark Manson post from a link, shared by Tim Ferriss in his 2025 [Five-Bullet-Friday] recap. He stated he could read it once a week, every week, for the rest of his life and still find value every time.

That’s saying something.

Instead of waxing on and on about how I feel about it, I figured I’d just shared the wealth here.

https://markmanson.net/question – please read or listen 2x. It’s worth really absorbing the question asked.

PS – I really like the “Listen to this article” function and I’m considering building that in. I love the passive nature of learning while exercising, etc.

~Happy New Year to all my readers!

Charlie Kirk A Week Later

I write this post with a heavy heart. I was in South Florida for a business trip when I learned of the news of Charlie’s assassination. It landed on my phone in a text thread from some buddies. “Whatever you do….don’t watch the Charlie Kirk Shooting” message.

Regrettably, I did watch it, and was sick to my stomach most of the rest of the night. I barely slept. I watched a man murdered. I watched a father and a husband take a bullet to the neck. I was angry, sad, disappointed, patriotic, resentful, and many more feels. How? Why? Did they have the shooter?

I tell my team often at work, “when emotion is high, intelligence is low.” So I wanted to sit with these feelings for a few days and let them separate from the peak feelings shortly thereafter the event. Flying home solo Friday and facing a few flight delays, I had plenty of time to sit by myself and think. Here is where I landed.

Let’s start with the shooter.

I think it’s easy to understand why so many felt anger and rage upon hearing the news of Charlie’s assassination. But that’s not the answer. It can’t be the answer. Going from 0 to 100, and only seeing retribution with eyes red with rage, can’t be the answer.

That’s the exact emotion which drove a troubled young man in his twenties to bring a rifle to a rally and end a father/husband’s life. I can be upset, but can I also engage curiosity? I’d like to better understand what caused this rage to develop in such a young man?

  • What does he believe in?
  • What is this young man so afraid of?
  • Why did he see Charlie or his discourse as such a threat to society?
  • How did he see this intolerable action, as the only answer?
  • What was he consuming/watching/viewing participating in to become so radical?

Conversely, with all this curiosity, I have complete conviction celebrating the murder is disgusting. It’s shameful and I pray this hate doesn’t amplify and spread.

Party Lines

“They” Killed Charlie. I read these words everywhere and I think it’s incredibly dangerous. A lone, mentally unwell, young man pulled the trigger and ended Charlie’s life with a singular bullet. Using the words “they killed Charlie”, got us to where we are…which is further and further apart. The political left, the left-of-center and every registered democrat didn’t kill Charlie. (I’ll receive plenty of pushback on those words). “They” killed Charlie. Nothing is more divisive than [Us vs. Them] and we must be careful. I personally know many who might disagree with Charlie’s views, but they’re not lining up to harm another human being.

I do hope the “Charlie Conservative Movement” continues to grow, but it hope the growth comes in the form of believing in something, vs. choosing to be against or hating the opposition. I hope others get curious about Christianity and understanding conservative values. Tell me what you’re for, and what you support. Don’t tell me we must rage war against the other side. Only more blood will be spilled and everyone knows this doesn’t pencil long term. Families can’t handle much more.

Standing with Courage

I deeply admire Charlie’s courage for continuing to show up and sharing his beliefs sooooo deeply. Sadly, this conviction would lead to him being a martyr. He received countless death threats. His family was receiving death threats. I can’t imagine the conviction to continue to press on and put yourself in harms way for the benefit of spreading the message and having tolerant conversations. I thought of the trials Jesus Christ (33), Martin Luther King (39), and John F. Kennedy (46) suffered. These thought leaders were struck down for their convictions, for being different, and for practicing patience and continued discourse. Each taken too young by evil walking among us.

Sept. 12th

I don’t remember much from Sept. 11 2001, other than exactly where I was when I heard the news of the day’s grave beginning. I was a Sophomore in my college dorm in a newly started fall semester. What I do vividly remember, was what happened immediately after the terrorist attack. People were immediately more kind to one another. Patriotism was at an all-time high. Americans put down our differences, locked arms and stood together against evil. Can that happen again?

Making an Argument

There is a scene I love in A Few Good Men where Tom Cruise’s character asks his legal partner Sam, “Is your father proud of you?” Cruise goes on to say, “I’ll bet he is. I’ll bet he bores the shit out of neighbors and relatives. Sam’s made law review. He’s got a big case he’s making. He’s arguing. He’s making an argument.“

The stoics and great philosophers made arguments. They battled with thought and words. Charlie loved debate and made many peaceful arguments.

So what does making an argument mean?

Making an argument means presenting a claim (an assertion about what is true or should be done) supported by reasons and evidence to persuade an audience to accept your point of view. It’s a constructive process of reasoning and persuasion, distinct from a heated disagreement, where you build a case to make your position understandable and credible to others

No where above does it state, I disagree, and therefore…I hate you! Or because I have a differing view point I must turn up the volume and instead of engaging in civil debate, yelling and rage ensues. We must continue to make an argument. Make good arguments. If disagreement is where it all lands, understand we’re both still human beings.

Humanity and Community Over All.

We need help and the answer lies in the middle, in compassion, in community and understanding. Bill Clinton used the words “Triangulation/Centrism” as a third way to find progress.

In my adult life, I’ve seen the political left and right grow further apart. What used to be, “left of center” or “right of center” has been sensationalized into Right vs. Left. Republican or Democrat. Liberal vs. Conservative. More [Us vs. Them] because it drives social algorithms and TV ratings. The old newspaper adage, “If it bleeds it leads” determined front page news and captures our attention. Attention = ratings and ratings = money. But at what cost?

Consistently consuming in this type of media, over and over again with tremendous volume, in isolation is proven to be incredibly dangerous.

So what can we do? I won’t pretend to have all the answers. I can only tell you what I’m going to try and do.

  • Turn off the news…all of it. I can tell you I think it’s corrupted anyway, but you decide how you feel when you watch less of it. My argument is there is a good chance you’re less enraged, less anxious and more patient.
  • Engage in more community. For me that’s going to church. Participating in small groups and trying to bring others along with me. Having more conversations with human beings, face to face.
  • I’m going to really try and put the phone down more. The answers to the riddle society seeks don’t live in a profit driven echo chamber of seeing more of the same and inciting my blood to boil in disagreement.
  • I’m going to try and understand more about what we have in common vs. what must separate us. On my way home I listened to a multitude of what can best be described as LEFT & RIGHT podcasts. I listened to hear and digest and understand. I agreed with some. I disagreed with some. But I landed with more informed reason than I had a few days ago.

Getting Home

I got home just after midnight on Saturday morning Sept 13th. It was 12:10am when I entered my house, suitcase and backpack in hand. I was tired but oh so happy to be home. I instantly thought of Charlie. He’d never experience the relief of coming home after a long day of travel. I checked on my two kids, both sound asleep, dreaming in their beds. I Imagined them never seeing their Dad again, because I told them on FaceTime Friday night I’d be home after they were asleep and I’d see them in the morning. What if I never made it home because of my beliefs?

I sat in the living room in the dark, in silence. I was thinking:

  • It needs to be better. How can I make it better for my kids?
  • We need to be better.
  • What can I control?
  • I need to be better. Start with setting the example.
  • I prayed for Erika Kirk and their two young children. Make this make sense.

The Quiet Power of Simplicity

Pursuing Less, But Better

There’s a weight that comes with chasing more.

More achievement.
More opportunity.
More responsibility.
More decisions.

And if you’re wired like me—a driven, achievement-minded husband and father—it’s easy to let that “more” become the default setting. You keep pushing. You stack the wins. You out-hustle the exhaustion. But somewhere in the mix, life starts to feel overbuilt. Heavy. Overcommitted.

I truly struggle with even the idea of sitting still and just being. Not thinking, strategizing, planning, or creating.

Enter a better idea: simplicity.

I love the concept of “less but better,” pulled from Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism. It’s an ALL-TIME favorite. It’s not about doing nothing. It’s not about slacking off. It’s about being ruthless with what truly matters. It’s a call to curate your life with intention, rather than letting it get cluttered by default. Said another way from Derek Sivers, “If it’s not a HELL YES…it’s a NO!”

This isn’t theoretical for me—it’s personal. I’ve got two kids who don’t care about my inbox. A wife who deserves presence, not just proximity. And a body and mind that don’t bounce back like they used to. So what does success look like now?

It looks simpler.

Fewer decisions.
Fewer yeses.
Fewer drains on energy.

More clarity.
More space.
More peace.

Here’s the hard part: simplicity is rarely the path of least resistance. It takes discipline. Saying “no” when your ego wants to say “yes.” Dropping “shoulds” that no longer serve you. Cutting good things to make room for great ones.

But here’s what I’ve learned—every “yes” is a trade. Every choice pulls on your time, your attention, and your energy. And in this season of life, I’m less interested in appearing busy and more committed to being deeply fulfilled.

I don’t want to live a life that looks full on the calendar and feels empty in the heart. All that said, I’m still a human being and I’m not a monk. I still want to drive a Ferrari, wear Jordans and buy a Rolex. I still want to take rad golf trips with my buddies and stay in swanky hotels. But I know what I want.

So I’m leaning in. Fewer things, done better. Less pressure, more presence. I’m continually asking two questions of myself.

  1. Is this really important?
  2. What is it, that you really want?

Simplifying not to do less work—but to do the right work, with the people who matter most.

Simplicity is the new flex.

Survive in the Jungle, Or Live in the Zoo

You’ve got two options men: survive in the jungle or live in the zoo.

One is raw, real, and forces growth. The other is soft, safe, and built to sedate.

In your 30s, 40s, and 50s, life doesn’t get easier. It gets louder. If you don’t wake up and lead, it will eat you alive—or worse, lull you into comfort, boredom and mediocrity. Here’s a blueprint I’m using to thrive as a Dad, Husband, and Brother-in-Arms to other men during these transformative years.



1. Control the Device, or Risk It Controlling You

You know what’s harder than a 5AM workout? Putting the damn phone down.

Tech is a tool. It’s not a pacifier, a babysitter, or your therapist. Doom scrolling doesn’t make you more informed—it makes you more numb. If you’re always checking out, you’re never checking in—with your kids, your wife, or yourself. I know guilty of it! So what can be done?

  • Schedule phone-free hours at home.
  • Delete apps you don’t use with purpose.
  • Lead by example. Your kids are watching. So is your wife.

You can’t fight for your tribe with your head in a screen.

2. Win the Mornings, Own the Day

Your family needs your energy. So what do you give it to first—your habits or your hangups? The jungle doesn’t care if you’re tired. You either hunt, or you go hungry.

  • Get up early.
  • Move your body.
  • Read something that sharpens your edge (I prefer one-page-a-day learning guides)
  • Pray, journal, think—whatever it is, go inward before you go outward.

You don’t rise to the occasion. You fall to your level of preparation. Morning is your weapon.


3. Date Your Wife, Not Just the Calendar

You didn’t marry her to raise kids and pay bills together.
You married her to chase, flirt, laugh, and build a life that feels like something worth living—not just surviving.

The zoo version of marriage is transactional. The jungle version is intentional and in pursuit.

  • Plan dates (real ones—not Costco and Target runs or kids sporting events)
  • Put effort into how you look, how you speak, how you pursue
  • Don’t wait for a “better season.” The season is now!!

If you’re not watering the relationship, you’re watching it dry up. I have work to do here, as it’s also listed on my [Monthly Scorecard] as “Date Nights”. The goal is only two per month, and all too often, I don’t check the box on one!

4. Your Kids Don’t Need a Coach—They Need a Dad

Youth sports. Schoolwork. Group chats. Travel teams. It’s easy to outsource presence for performance.

But children don’t need another critic on the sidelines. They need a safe harbor, a truth–teller, a steady rock showing up with consistency.

  • Let them fail. < – – – this is as hard to read as it is to say out loud.
  • Talk about real things vs. Outcomes (W/L) – effort, pain, growth, leadership and showing up in friendship
  • Teach them how to shake hands, hold eye contact, and speak clearly. In my observation, these skills are lost amongst our youth.

Being “busy” isn’t the badge. Being present is.


5. Build Brotherhood, or Die in Isolation

You weren’t made to do life alone. But too many men confuse independence with isolation.

The jungle isn’t just dangerous—it’s lonely if you go it solo. Lonely men can make bad (sometimes fatal) decisions. I’ve seen them and it pains me to even write this.

  • Find your crew. Not just drinking buddies—truth tellers.
  • Set the tone. Organize the breakfast. Start the group text. Lead a getaway. (Men, you all desperately need it)
  • Speak truth and expect it back. Support and build up your peers. They need you!

Iron sharpens iron. Comfort dulls the blade.


Final Thought


The jungle is hard, brutal, and relentless.

But it’s also where you grow teeth. Build muscle. Earn scars. Forge legacy.

The zoo? It’s easy. Safe. Predictable. But deep down, you know—you weren’t made for cages.

I’m here for you! Choose the jungle. Every damn day.

Retirement Is Dead: Why Time Affluence Is the New American Dream

Ever since I was 22, and started a “real job” the day after I graduated college, I was thinking about RETIREMENT.

I knew the time value of money was Uber-important, and the sooner I got $$ invested, and the longer it had to grow, the better my chances got of being a MILLIONAIRE!!! After all, who doesn’t want to be a millionaire? Sounds nice, but this actually isn’t the goal. The idea of being a millionaire is more about living a millionaire lifestyle than a number.

I started my journey simply with a 401K and an employer match and I think even had a Roth IRA on the side I was contributing $50/mo. to. I had very little real money, and zero wealth, but I was committed to the “Pay Yourself First” lifestyle and I’ve never stopped this behavior.

As time passed, and contributions continued, the nest egg slowly grew. I wasn’t directly thinking about it in terms of counting every penny, but I paid close attention to increasing contributions as my income grew. The snowball was slowly gaining size and momentum.

In my late 20’s or early 30s I met Gary Vaynerchuk in Las Vegas at a conference and it literally changed my life. The internet was in full bloom and I knew instantly the next frontier for me and my career would involve something in the digital media space. I already loved the marketing space and this next frontier was exciting!! I met a group of very young, but enthusiastic entrepreneurs and they too changed my perspective and life when I introduced them to the agency I was working at. A few months later they sold their business and we were off building a new team. It was some of the most “work” fun I’ve had in my life and I’m forever grateful for this lesson.

It Pays to OWN

After that, I figured out I was on the WRONG side of the deal. It was 100% my idea. My business plan. My introduction…but none of my money. I was working for someone who didn’t see my contributions to the enterprise the same way I did. It’s not their fault, but if I believed in myself change was needed. With a good deal of blind ambition and a little bit of ego, I leapt into the next chapter of my life. I began owning things, and by things I mean pieces of a business, or real estate, or other assets.

I re-read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and began thinking more in terms of creating multiple sources of income and operating in the (B-business) and (I-Investor) quadrants. That’s also when I created the FREEDOM DATE of 2027 (45 years old). I think I was 32 or 33 at the time and thought about the starry-eyed idea of financial freedom in my 40s. Was it a big idea? HELL YES it was. It wasn’t like I was wealthy in my early 30s. But I was gaining momentum and it wasn’t out of the question. So therefore, it was possible and I started to think about reverse engineering how to do it.

Well intentioned. Dead Wrong.

I think about my freedom fund, and freedom date much differently today. Although I’m still clinging on to the 2027 date, as I have documented and shared it so many places, I’m not going [peace out] and ride off into the sunset. This is why I say, [Well Intentioned. Dead Wrong]. The behaviors were correct, but the outcome shifted. Retirement is NOT the goal.

If we really wanted to retire today, I could. I could retire today!

How? Sell the house, and a car and a bunch of our stuff. Move into a trailer with minimal expenses and that’s it. Boom! Mission accomplished. < – – – – Doesn’t sound so great does it?

But if that’s the goal, why not do it?

This also would beg the question, “Now what?????”

Retirement by the end of 2027 isn’t the goal.

The goal is TIME affluence today!

Tim Ferriss talks about this extensively in his best-selling book, The Four Hour Workweek. Ferriss describes the “New Rich” (NR) as people who abandon the traditional “deferred-life plan” (work hard now to maybe enjoy life later) and instead design lifestyles that maximize freedom and fulfillment now.

The next chapter of my life and pursuit of time and location affluence looks like this. I’ll be working in a multitude of places and hopefully on a multitude of things. It could be at home. It could be the beach in Florida, the desert in Scottsdale, or a rented cabin on a lake in Northern Michigan for a week or two.

It looks like a couple golf trips a year and a couple great trips with my family to the mountains or to the beach. I’m thinking more and more about experiences and building a life story worth telling. All the while, staying fit and strong enough to attack life’s adventures with my kids (6 & 10). I don’t want to only exist to be their means of transportation…I want to be an active participant in their journey.

The lifestyle of working 40+ years in one place, and retiring in our 60s is nearly extinct. There is a newer and better path, if you choose to take it!

  • Traditional Path: School → Job → 40 Years → Retirement
  • New Rich Path: Skills → Leverage → Freedom → Now

Cheers to being in pursuit of the new rich lifestyle and living a life on your terms!

From Burnout to Balance: A Birthday Post on Reflection & Transformation

How did I go from: Puffy, Inflamed and Anxious to finding peace and reinventing my body? I’ll tell you, but first I must take a begrudging look back.

The Days are Long. The Years are Fast.

I spent a good deal of time looking at the image on the left and it reminds me of so many things…it actually makes me sad. This picture was taken on my birthday a few years ago at Dunkin Donuts with my two kids. A birthday is a day that should be “happy” and celebrated, but I can’t say that’s how I felt that morning. Holding both kids, I was also holding a great deal of anxiousness, guilt and burnout.

Still shy of 40, I was feeling the impacts of many things colliding. I felt stressed running a business that was going through the earliest days of COVID. But little did I know it was only going to become more tenuous. Layoffs loomed and I spent many late nights or early early mornings with my face in my hands, agonizing over a list of employees who would no longer be employed the following morning. I knew it would place stress on them or their family and there was no right answer…only a number to reduce to. These are long, lonely days and restless nights.

Generally Unwell

I was feeling the impacts of a young daughter and the stresses of raising another child, but this time in a much different time. I always felt great stress in their youngest of years. Reflecting back on when I was young and selfish, responsibility (even to one self) felt trivial. But when another human depends on you for their entire life, that’s responsibility! And it always stressed me out if I’m being honest.

I wasn’t eating well, I definitely wasn’t sleeping well, and I wasn’t exercising with any sort of consistency. I was “skinny fat” with a weak body and little discipline. My days started with heavy doses of caffeine and ended with a drink or more likely…drinkssss to escape the stress and “take the edge off!” Just reading this makes my body shake with regret. I was inflamed, easy to agitate, and grumpy (I wonder why??). I was pretty much the opposite of a joy to be around, but I tried my best to hide it with my usual prescription of a little charisma and some charm. Despite this charade, inside I was miserable. The only relief I found was cycling on and off steroids to tame my triggered auto immune disease.

At one point in this journey, I remember being down in my office, seeking surrender being alone. I likely was hoping to cry. Afterall, I thought it would be healthy or therapeutic. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t cry. I was holding on to everything so tight, I couldn’t let anything go…including tears. I was immune to relaxation and felt generally numb.

I was burned out. Happy Birthday right!?!?

So What Changed?

Everything.

  • Diet – I started getting hyper-focused on what I put into my body. I read The Wahl’s Protocol from Dr. Terry Wahls. She reversed her MS auto immune condition with a very specific diet and exercise protocol and documented her journey. I’m far from perfect with my consumption, but I do eat “mostly good” and keep a keen eye out for alcohol consumption. More vegetables. More quality meat. Less processed junk. I haven’t fully quit drinking, although I have considered it from time to time.
  • Fitness – In 2021 I purchased a Peloton and a pull up bar. I literally think this was a major lever to gaining momentum across all other aspects of my life because a decision was MADE. The previous version of me was dead. I’ll never forget getting on that bike the first few times. The shoes felt awkward. After only minutes, my lungs and veins were on fire. My heart was racing, which felt like the panic attack experienced earlier in the year. But looking back…it was the medicine I needed. I can also tell you “stress sweat” smells very different than every day sweat. With every ride completed, the cocktail of cortisol, anxiety, and general distress on the body came pouring out on to my basement floor.
  • Body – The combination of diet changes and fitness protocol these last few years helped reshape my body. Just look at the guy on the right (taken the fall of 2024) compared to the left. I’m about 8-10 lbs. heavier (in a good way). I did it by reshaping my body, and putting on muscle. My soft belly is gone and my shoulders are broader. I’ve done thousands of pull ups, push ups, cycled thousands of miles pursuing the daily discipline of staying in shape while continuing to push. Aside from general fitness and me being vain (yes I like to look good), I feel So-Much-Better! My body moves so much better. I sleep so much better.
  • Surrender – This may seem trivial, it may not, but I got back to the rhythm of going to church. I’m a deeply flawed person and every time I walk out of a service, I feel lighter and somewhat reborn. With every visit I ask for forgiveness for something and it allows me to reconnect to a higher power and bigger purpose. This has been a big part of the mosaic that is my healing journey. As I worked to transform my mind, (Mental) and body(Physical), I also dove into transforming my spirit (Spiritual).
  • Professional Help – I’ve written about my journey with Better Help. Along with exercise, this act was transformational. It was exactly what I needed to get out of my own head and into a path toward healing, forgiving, and not being so damned hard on myself. I’m incredibly grateful for the skilled professional who helped me through a tough spot. If you told me in my 20s I would consult therapy for a tough time I was going through, I would’ve LAUGHED and said some asshole condescending comment about “being weak minded” and seeking help. What a pussy! ~I didn’t think my ego would allow it, but here’s to growing up, swallowing pride and seeking help. This is hard for men…especially us ALPHAs. I get it.
  • Medication – I’m pleased to report as of the beginning of 2025, I got off my anxiety medication. It’s been a goal of mine for some time, and I’d gotten down to such a low dose that I was just doing it to do it. But a healthy body and mind doesn’t need an unnecessary crutch, so I cut it out headed into the new year.
  • Content – Every day of the year it’s quite likely I’ll read one of two books as mental conditioning. The first is, Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins < – – – – – I love this book!! I hope I never stop rereading the wisdom. The second is, The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. Priming my mind with teachings thousands of years old help me stay grounded and also growing.

Reinvention starts slowly (really slowly) and then happens all at once.

I know each of the modalities above can do miracles on their own. But, when paired together, their individual super powers have the potential to create exponential outcomes and generate tremendous momentum. Momentum is much easier to steer than start and momentum is an agent of change! I now feel like I’m coming into my birthday this year, with strong winds at my back!

I really try not to preach or give too much direction on this blog on [what you need to do is this…]. I can only know what I’ve been through, and share my journey and experiences through my lens. (If) it helps you…wonderful! If it gets you started on a new direction…I’m delighted. Maybe some day we can talk about it.

Reinvention is possible and it can start today with a decision. That’s where it started with me a few years ago on the Ides of March. Although the decision had to start with me, I’m incredibly grateful for a supportive wife and incredible friends who’ve been with me every step of the way!