Tag Archives: Tony Robbins

The Story I Tell Myself Is…

Every day, I live out a story. All of us are. But what is important to understand is, how am I, or how are you, crafting the story? Because it has everything to do with how we see the world. Is life happening to me? Or is life happening FOR ME?!?

There is no better example of STORY, than one I read and repeat to others frequently. It’s from Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins. This book is easily one of my top 5 favorites and I re-read it frequently. The power of story is illustrated something like this.

An alcoholic father, abuser and career criminal, welcomed two wonderful boys into the world nearly 14 months apart. They’re almost twins. This is important because they experience the same tumultuous, brutal upbringing. Fast-forward 30 years, and the oldest has fallen into his father’s footsteps. He’s a criminal, he can’t keep a job, and his relationships are a mess. He lived a life of resentment and constant search for reconciliation. When asked how he got here, he responded with, “Look at my Dad. What did you think would happen?” How could he have possibly ended up any different?

The younger brother, who experienced the EXACT same upbringing, found himself in a different place 30 years later. The regional manager of a national corporation, his life reflected stability. Happily married with kids, he was a good father and provider. His kids looked up to him and he lived a life of gratitude. When asked how he got here, the younger brother responded with, “Look at my Dad. What did you think would happen? I couldn’t possibly live the life we lived as kids!”

Same genetics. Same father. Two wildly different outcomes based on how they interpreted the story of their upbringing. STORY

I work at the AdTech company: Basis Technologies. One of the “benefits” we have at work is participating in groups sessions appropriately named “Conscious Leadership” founded in the principles of the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.

Fact vs. Story

You’re not here for a book report, so I’ll spare you. That said, an exercise we dive into frequently is the [Fact vs. Story] exercise. And I must admit, this exercise is really hard for me. I craft stories. I tell stories. I weave emotion into stories to emphasize the finer points. I’m more comfortable in story. When challenged with facts, I become Superman to Kryptonite.

Stoic Philosophy

A few years ago I picked up the book: The Daily Stoic. It’s a daily, one page read with 366 teachings (meditations) of stoic philosophy and it’s incredibly digestible. I’ve gifted it to many as I believe so deeply in the power of these teachings. I honestly believe it’s helped to rewire my mindset. Here is a quick YouTube video on how to apply Stoicism to daily life if you’re curious.

All of this thought on story, reminded me of this quote.

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Read that quote again. Think about facts of your life and how your life shapes your belief. I’ll give you real life examples from my life. Every statement begins with fact, but what follows is story.

  • I grew up in small town in Iowa, therefore, I have less understanding of other nationalities, religions and their beliefs
  • I grew up an athlete – therefore, I’m wired and thrive in competitiveness. I know how to win better than others
  • My parents have a blue collar work ethic – therefore, I understand the value of hard work
  • At 27, I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis – therefore, I’ll never be truly healthy and have no control over the disease
  • I live on a golf course – because of that, I must make a great income or inherited some money
  • I’ve always been skinny – therefore, it’s impossible to put on weight and build muscle
  • My Dad grew up poor – therefore, he has a scarcity mindset with money
  • I’ve had business wins – therefore, I have a unique perspective on what it takes to be successful and others should buy in.
  • I go to church – therefore, I study and understand the teachings in the Bible and I’m comfortable in prayer

Think about people around you and the life they’re living because of the story they’re committed to!

Fact. [pause] Story

Some people set a word for the year to help guide their intentions. I can’t say I’ve ever done it, or if I will do it now. But if I absolutely had to choose a word today, I think this year I’d choose PAUSE.

I’m wired for action and progress. I love it. It fuels me. But every sword has two sides. When I move too quickly, when I act too fast, I’m prone to mistakes, or misunderstanding. When I make a mistake, or hit a bad shot in golf, I’m quick to try and rectify. What’s proven to be more successful is pausing, reassess the situation and go from there. The past is gone. But it doesn’t mean I’ve got to screw up the future. [Pause].

Pause when I get triggered or receive push back. Pause try and understand where the other person is coming at the problem from…instead of committing to being RIGHT! They too have a unique perspective being brought to the table (and likely also stories).

I try not to give advice too often because I don’t know how anyone is arriving at this content. I can only tell you what’s worked, and not worked for me. Picking up The Daily Stoic, and reading one page a day, every day, has helped me.

Top 90%, Equals Half Done

The title almost seems counter intuitive, or some sort of Jedi mind trick, but it’s not.

I was listening to the Ed Mylett Show this morning working out and the topic was: Dream It, Live It, Write It. The first 10 minutes of the podcast Ed laid out the landscape of being a top 10% achiever, or said alternatively, being 90% better than the population at a given goal or discipline. This could be fitness, could be income, could be NET WORTH, or it could be intelligence. The Top 10% (the 90th percentile) is a worthwhile position. But Ed stated the following challenge, being in the top 10%, you’re only 50% of the way done…unless you’re done growing!

I rewound the podcast. I listened again.

Ed goes on to state a recipe of what’s necessary to find yourself in the top 10%. Show up. Have a good attitude. Commit with Consistency. Nothing world beating, but it does take focus and effort. But the change necessary to leap from the top 10% to the top 1%, that’s going to take much more. New Levels, New Devils.

I rewound the podcast, and I listened yet again. I started to question where I was. Am I after a top 10% life, or a top 1% life?

Lets look for some data points

The top 10% of income earners in the United States achieve an income of $167,639 annually. Depending on where you search, you can also find a different answer depending on age/location/etc. But for the sake of moving forward, the $167K is a good beacon. But what does the top 1% earn? USA Today says that number is $788,000. Therefore to move from the top 10% to the top 1%, a person must not just double their income, they must 5X it!!

What about fitness? The Mayo Clinic offers some standards for basic fitness here which is a good guide to starting. This is great intel in communicating fitness “standards”, but it doesn’t give me top 10% vs. top 1%. So the search continues. Even better, lets take a trip back to the President’s National Fitness Standards of 1985. “Participants must at least reach these levels in all 5 events in order to qualify for the Presidential Physical Fitness Award. These levels represent the 85th percentile based on the 1985 School
Population Fitness Survey.” Whatever happened to these anyway? Any correlations to these standards disappearing and our kids getting fatter than ever? Another argument for another day.

Sadly enough, the bad news continues. I heard this obesity statistic and couldn’t help but share (mostly out of rage). The United States is a HORRIBLE barometer. More than 2 in 5 adults (42.4%) have obesity. That’s disgusting. Just being in the top 1/2 in the US means you’re likely “not” obese. Congrats. End of Rant!! BMI can also be a good indicator, although not directly categorized by top 10% vs. top 1% here.

How about running?!? Mile times give us a little cleaner look in the top 50% vs. top 1% here from Medical News Today. Top 50% of males my age run a 9:54 mile. But the top 1% run a 7:00 mile. Not gospel, but again a good beacon to think about what it really takes to be top 1%.

The last stone I was looking to overturn was intelligence. It’s been a while (24 years) since taking the ACT, but a top 10% score is 29+, and a top 1% score is 35+ (36 perfect score). Isn’t that word perfect a trigger? It is sure as hell is for me!! I’m not trying to be perfect, nor do I think I can get there. I’m trying to maximize my best.

What will it take?

New Year’s Day, brings with it new year’s resolutions. I hate new year’s resolutions because they flat out don’t work. More often they’re a plea, and they don’t change behavior. Turning the page on the calendar to create “anew” version of oneself requires real change.

The first part about creating change is understanding and committing to a MASSIVE why behind the change we’re looking to make. Commit to the WHY, the how will present itself.

For me, I need to understand WHY I want to live a 1% life vs. a 10% life? More specifically, I’ve learned from Tony Robbins, I don’t just want a 1% life, I want how a 1% life makes me FEEL!

~Cheers to another year in pursuit!

Four Quotes I Live By

This post is short and simple. I’m sharing four of my favorite quotes. These quotes are written on the white board, opposite my desk in my office. I literally see them and think about them every single day.

Here they are:

  1. Be Active in Your Own Rescue
  2. Inside the Acorn, Lives the Oak
  3. Thoughts Become Things
  4. Want + Do = Have

Be Active in Your Own Rescue

I think about this quote both financially and physically. No one is coming to save me, and no one is coming to save you. It’s not that I don’t think people care about me, it’s that they’re dealing with their own shit. So am I. That said, I’ve got to take responsibility for my path today and into the future. I’ll also say the word “ACTIVE” stands out because it means action must be taken. No one is going to achieve my goals for me and I have the ability to “create my own luck”! No one else is going to usher me into early retirement and no one else is going to do the reps for me to have the health and body I desire. Am I taking responsibility and taking action?

Inside the Acorn, Lives the Oak

I can’t recall exactly where I read this or heard it, but I love it. An acorn sitting on a desk has epic potential to be a strong, sturdy, centennial oak. But the only way that potential is harnessed, is if the acorn is planted TODAY and watered consistently. If you missed planting today, the next day is the best day to start. I think acorns are all around us if we choose to see them. Something large, and strong and successful today, started small and insignificant. What needs starting today?

Thoughts Become Things

Much love to Tony Robbins here. Thoughts absolutely become things. I’m incredibly mindful of what I think about, what I say, and what I put into my mind. What is thought about and ruminated on, becomes manifested in real life. Why does this happen? I have no idea, except to say this. If a person consistently talks about and seeks opportunity, they’ll always be on the lookout for it. Conversely, if a person is always, “down on their luck” and feel like the ball never bounces their way, an opportunity might walk right by and it’s missed because the person’s head is down complaining about how bad they have it. I know these people. You know these people. Former Navy Seal and ultra-distance competitor Chadd Wright calls his tongue and language he uses his “Rudder”. Chadd is ALWAYS mindful of his rudder!! Who knows more about this than a SEAL and Ultra athlete? Am I being intentional with my thoughts?

Want + Do = Have

A newer follow for me is Michael Chernow. Since listening to him on the Rich Roll podcast, I’ve really enjoyed Michael’s content and brand Kreatures of Habit and the KOH podcast. I even make a homemade version of his overnight oats and it’s delicious. He ends his podcast with the reminder, “Want + Do = HAVE” and it certainly stuck with me. It makes sense doesn’t it? Above I talk about being “active” in my own rescue. I also write about “Wants” and how, “thoughts become things.” The life I “HAVE” today is a direct reflection of what I’ve stated I wanted, and the actions taken (DO) to get it done. Having is a reflection of gratitude. Am I willing to do what it takes to live a big life and have the gratitude to know when to appreciate it?

These simple quotes guide my journey every day to being better with my: Faith, Family, Finances and Fitness (4 F’s).

~Much Love

The ONE QUESTION Driving Daily Action

I spend time every single Sunday with focused thought on on trying to answer one question.

Zac…What do you want?

For probably the last 15 years, or in the time since getting married I began being much more intentional about where life would take me. Actually, I take that back, as that speaks to having more control than likely exists. How about, I spent more time thinking about where I’d like to go and thinking it into existence.

  • What was important to me?
  • Where would I live?
  • Would I live extravagantly or frugally?
  • What did I want to do with my time?
  • Who were my close friends?
  • How did I want to feel? (This one is often overlooked)
  • Who were my teachers? Who would I learn from?
  • What would I look like? (Yes, I can be a vain person, but this is part of how I think about spending my time)

Today writing this post I’m 42 years old. Sometimes I can’t believe this, as it feels like yesterday I was 30, with no kids and a few dreams written down on one of my many notebooks. Back then, I wrote down many dream lines to pursue. I wanted to live on a golf course, own a business, sell a business (for profit), create a life of financial freedom, drive a Ferrari (why not right??), and the list goes on.

Having achieved a few of these dreams by 40, my focus shifts as I’ve moved into a new season of life. I find one word driving more of my thoughts and actions more than ever…

FREEDOM

This word plays itself out in a myriad of ways as I think about the 360 degree picture that is life. Below I’ll explain how I’m thinking about FREEDOM. It helps to mention a quote I’ve been loving from retired Navy Seal Jocko Willink. That quote is, “Discipline = Freedom”. The more discipline I can build into my life and follow with determination on the THINGS THAT REALLY MATTER. The more freedom I have in the rest of my life.

Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom: One could easily say I think about this too much, but it’s important to me and part of who I am. I want the ability to not worry about a “paycheck” from an employer. In order to do this, I started asking different questions in my early 30s.

Where would this additional income come from? What would I need to save to be set free? What would I need to own that paid me consistently? How “early” could I really retire? These questions led to study, planning and executing on a strategy to [exit the rat race] as Robert Kiyosaki describes it in Rich Dad Poor Dad. Around 2012 or so, I landed on an aggressive date of 2027. I call it my “Freedom Date”.

The disciplines at play here are relatively simple. Save a great deal more than our expenses (goal 2x or more). Therefore, every months’ income also buys a month of Freedom (or more). I Invest that capital into avenues that produce income or buy time backward from a retirement age of 60. If I’m going to ‘retire’ at 45 in 2027, I need to buy 15 years. To do so, I invest in real estate, have brokerage account with Vanguard, Life Insurance, Roth IRAs, IRA, 401k, high-yield savings account (oxymoron) and business ownership. Some provide monthly cash flow, others are true retirement vehicles.

Physical Freedom

Physical Freedom: This is about vitality and freedom of movement. In Norman Vincent Peale’s book, “The Power of Positive Thinking” the author frequently refers to the power of prayer and its impact on vitality. After all, what good is an early retirement or complete flexibility if it can’t be enjoyed fully? A few years ago I got much more serious about my fitness. During COVID we had a new baby, I was stressed from work, by body was inflamed and I was mentally zapped. I was anxious and my body shuddered at the stress. I needed a physical reset to get back on the path to physical freedom I’d fallen off. Again, “Discipline = Freedom” and my plan was to transform myself via sweat. In late 2021 I invested in a Peloton and boy am I happy we did. But it didn’t start out all roses. The first day I climbed on the bike with ambitions high, my heart rate skyrocketed and a moment of panic hit. I felt weak and ashamed. Was this really my reality? I’ve always been an athlete for God’s sake. But I kept riding and stacking wins. In the three years since I’ve completed nearly 1,000 rides and poured gallons of sweat onto my basement floor (sorry Beth). In the same time, I used this momentum to complete thousands of pull-ups….probably 30,000 in the past 3+ years. I sleep better, my joints feel better, and the outcome is a better looking body. My kids are now 5 & 10, and I need the energy to keep up with them and their endeavors.

Emotional Freedom

Emotional Freedom – In my 30’s I began reading a book titled, “The Daily Stoic” by Ryan Holiday. I like it so much, I’ve gifted it to many friends. The book is composed in a way that each day, the reader digests one page of stoic philosophy from thousands of years ago. One page a day, every day. Not zero. Not two, or twenty. One Page (discipline). The accumulation of pages helped rewire my thinking and I’ll still turn the pages of this classic 10 years later.

Nothing is promised. Nothing is permanent. All we have is the present. When I was younger, I thought a stoic was one who showed no emotion. Ever. Stone faced and emotionless. Reading the stoics, I realized that’s not the case at all. The greatest of the stoics felt ALL THE FEELS. They experienced all the human experience has to offer, but being a stoic meant they had an ability to separate themselves from the emotion and didn’t allow the emotion to overrun their operating system. A stoic can see the situation for exactly what it is, and nothing more.

People will lie or deceive you. You’ll be cheated. Something will be stolen. Hearts will be broken. Sickness will hit. Life presents numerous challenges. The pragmatic approach is, to see it for what it is…nothing more, nothing less. This study helped me mentally in a big way. I’m a world-class grudge holder and can easily get lost in the “story” I tell myself. I’m guilty of holding on too tight and letting that stress live with me too long. The path to emotional Freedom won’t end on a date. It’s a journey that will last a lifetime.

Conclusion

I’ll conclude to say, the items and goals listed above are mine. They are NOT yours nor should they be. Every person must go on the journey of finding out what they want on their own. My only advice is to be sincere in your approach and don’t fake it. You want what you want, and it’s not for someone else. But changing your mind is ok too. It’s quite likely your goals and thinking will evolve over time. They should, we shouldn’t remain static as people as we age and gain knowledge and experiences.

Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows

Tony Robbins

What Do I Want from 2024?

On this journey we call life, it’s important to have a compass. Wandering endlessly day-by-day will leave us in the same spot we started (which is unacceptable). As Tony Robbins says, “progress = happiness” and who doesn’t want more happiness?

So what am I thinking about or pursuing in 2024?

Health

My number one pursuit in 2024 is to find remission from my auto immune disease…by any means necessary!! Recently in November I started a new trial drug (Zeposia) which is designed to better regulate, or down regulate my immune system to trigger fewer flare ups or responses by my body to fight itself, and in so doing, cause harm. In evaluating options, the next choice of treatment was: a pill, a bi-monthly shot, or infusion every 8-weeks. We chose the daily pill.

But over the holidays, I flared again on the new drug. Talk about a downer!! Today, I’m currently taking about 3-4 different pills a day to combat symptoms and I’m in a desperate pursuit to bring this number to ZERO!!

I’ve grown tired of the ups and downs from the unpredictability. I’m tired of the anxiousness of the disease impacting my movement patterns, sometimes limiting travel (which I love) and just overall life. In early January I’m headed to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion on how to best rid myself of these symptoms and hopefully dial back on medication.

I’m attacking the disease from many angles: diet, fitness, and overall mental well being. I tell myself I know how the disease was initially triggered. It’s lovely cocktail mix: A great deal of hard living in my 20’s accompanied with amplified stress from being a tireless overachiever likely sent my body and immune system into a tail spin in the late 2000’s. But is this true?? Or is this story??

Fact vs. Story. That’s what I’m really looking to explore. I’m not looking to only treat symptoms, instead I’m Indiana Jones in search of the root cause. I’m told there is no “cure” per se to Ulcerative Colitis. I don’t buy it. I’m somewhat convinced the medication doesn’t work, otherwise why would I continually experience flare ups a few times per year, which are then resolved by steroids? So what’s the answer?

Is Diet the Answer?


I don’t know this either. Here’s what I do know. I know in 2023 I ate better than I have in my entire life. I consumed more vegetables, smoothies and pounds of spinach than I ever have. I consumed less alcohol than ever and I’m on the verge of calling it quits entirely. But still the symptoms. Is diet the answer?

Is Fitness the Answer?

I’m in better shape now at 41 than I was at 31. It’s not even a comparison. My body composition is better and I’m even hitting the golf ball further as a result. In 2023 I completed over 250 workouts and cycled nearly 8,000 minutes this year. In a quest for 10,000 pull ups, I completed 14,000. I am no iron man, but I am in good shape…but the symptoms remain. Is Fitness the answer?

Am I too type A?

I can only imagine being a reader of this post and reading my thoughts. Zac, of course you think simply changing the variables noted above (or by simply doing more) you’d step into remission and all would be well. It’s not that easy, and I’m coming to grips with that. So what’s the next phase?

Is the next phase Surrender?

In listening to recent sermon from Orchard Hill Church, the pastor spoke to surrender, and a season of waiting. I must admit, just hearing those words send me into toxic shock. I suck at waiting…and yet maybe that’s the larger lesson in all of this? I’ve tried searching for solutions via the mechanism of control. And yet, that’s not working. So maybe surrender is?

In almost every year in my adult life I’ve thought about goals and planning for the following year. It’s exciting, it’s ambitious, it’s challenging!! Every single year these include financial targets to hit and investments to make. While 2024 will likely include these goals, my #1 concern and focus will be on getting truly healthy.

You can have all the riches and success in the world, but if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.

My Journey with betterhelp

Let me be very upfront. I never thought I’d be here. It wasn’t part of my being, upbringing or belief system. Here means, writing these words and more importantly…sharing what is to follow. But if I don’t share, who will know? And sometimes all it takes is knowing someone else’s path to change yours!

It’s also important to know WHO I’m writing this for. Albeit, I hope this message can help 10s or 100s of young men, or fathers not feel alone in their feelings, there is one in particular I’m on the lookout for. My 8-year old son…who is yet to become a man. We are SO MUCH alike, I understand he may walk a similar path in his 20s, 30s or 40s and I want him to know where Dad was at a shared time of life. Love you Landon!

How did we get here?

This is a post about the dichotomy of security and vulnerability. Let me first say I’m incredibly hopeful and grateful in writing this post. I’m hopeful this message will reach another human (likely a male) who is looking for support or structure in uncertainty. I’m secure enough as a person to know I can share these thoughts without fear, and vulnerable enough to get to the truth in the process.

I’d like to be abundantly clear that I thought mental health and a person seeking ‘help’ were W-E-A-K when I was in my younger years. I’d experienced a few people around me who struggled with depression or anxiety, but I just didn’t get it. I couldn’t rationalize or empathize and like any young and arrogant 20-something I thought “toughen up” and “move through it” were the answers. I’m sorry I thought that. I’m sorry I was so naive.

I guess the old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” is at play here.

The Additive Components

As I get older, I’m becoming more of a thinker and try to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I don’t think the melancholy “feels” I had in 2021 were merely a result of COVID. That said, COVID may have been the great accelerator in the process! I believe the following stressful components were all at play over time:

  • Multiple Rounds of IVF to have our two kids (these are definitely stressful times and they added up)
  • Battling Ulcerative Colitis Flares – This is definitely a source of trauma for me since I was 27. I’ve gone through enough to know what to expect…and it isn’t pretty.
  • Never Ending Ambition and Achievement – I’m wired this way! Hard to shut it off.
  • Lockdowns and Kids at Home – Juggling a business that immediately took a turn into a ravine while having kids at home was flat out hard. Trying to find balance amongst it all was very challenging and I suck at balance.
  • COVID layoffs – One is hard, two is enough. I think I participated in three in total including 2020 and dealing with the wake of COVID. This left me feeling entirely hallow. Lives were being upended and as a leader, I felt responsible.
  • Resentment – I held this in a large capacity due to an expectation of a business deal/payoff that was likely floundering and consequent relationships left in that wake. Both put me in a sour and grumpy state quite regularly. The more I thought, the more betrayed I felt.
  • Relationship With my Wife – We weren’t in an awful state, but we weren’t good from the notable life changes we were both juggling above. Most days felt more like survival in a weird sense and everyone was on edge. She was trying to manage the kids while I looked after the business that was running poorly.
  • Daily Dose of Bad News – Every day upon waking from a Princess and the Pea “less than restful” night of sleep it was like I was waiting for impending doom. How much money had we lost? What clients disappeared? Who resigned? Who is sick? What can I do about any of this anyway?????

Add all these components up and you’ve got a toxic fear-based cocktail being consumed multiple times daily.

Falling into the Gray

A few weeks ago I stumbled on to the Unbreakable Podcast with host Jay Glazer after hearing it promoted. I was drawn to his very first guest and a man I have a great deal of respect for, Sean McVay. Together, they discuss what Jay labels as “the gray” and unpack what it means to both of them to be more vulnerable in their mental health journeys. I really encourage the listen as I thought it helped add a ton of context to what I was feeling and experiencing. It’s different for every person, but similar all the same. Jay also gave me the motivation to be “man enough” publish this post.

It All Took a Toll

The most meaningful steps I believe I took in my 30s were the steps toward more self-awareness (the good and the bad). Two years ago, I was self aware enough and at a point where I knew I just needed some help. Every day I seemed to feel worse and worse both physically and mentally. My physical body was taking a toll and I couldn’t continue on without a radical shift in behavior. I needed someone else with whom I could speak with who was unbiased and could rationalize a path forward.

Let me also be very clear that I never once thought about hurting myself or others around me. I’ve never been there and I can’t say I know anything about those feelings, but I’m undoubtably respectful of those who are in this place! I empathize with you. Seek help. Talk. Michael Phelps said it here, “It’s ok, to not be OK!”

I Raised My Hand – I Need Some Help

I’m not sure I can identify the mechanism of “how” I found betterhelp, but I’m incredibly happy I did. It may honestly have been the social-distancing necessity of the pandemic and the virtual nature of all things meant this guy didn’t have to sit down across from someone I didn’t know and pour out my feelings(in person). I don’t know if my pride or ego was ready for that. Moving forward, it felt like the right answer and I was assigned a therapist based on a questionnaire they provided. We were off. My first session was scheduled…and I was nervous as hell.

~PAUSE~ Holy Shit…am I really doing this???

Oh my god. Was I ready for this? What did I just sign up for? What questions would she ask? Would I be vulnerable enough to tell the truth? (yes, us men struggle with this if it means violating our “manhood”) What if I needed more help? What if I cried? What if…

What if…This Was Exactly What I Needed?

I took notes on the process and found the back-and-forth journaling exercises from betterhelp to be very helpful. My journey started with some EMDR therapy to slow me down (My words, not the therapist’s). I needed to unwind all that had become fiercely tangled up. Next, we truly unpacked each of the elements leading up to why I was there in the first place. One by One. Every experience. Every element of PTSD I was laboring over. I was caught in a feedback loop and the merry-go-round was spinning too fast to get off or even let go.

After only a few sessions I feel like I changed my tone from “fix me, I’m broken,” to a much more curious person ready to explore who’d I’d become as a result of all the elements noted above. I’d been able to gain control of what I was experiencing and talk through it. I was still stressed, but I felt like the possibility of feeling better (not stressed 24/7) existed again. I once heard meditation described as, being able to look at the washing machine, from the outside, while it is running. I feel this way about my experience with therapy.

After a few months, some serious self care and inner work, I was starting to feel like myself again. I was getting my swagger back. I think part of this was timing of how the world was coming out of the pandemic, but I also believe I’d become much more at peace with what I could and couldn’t control. After all, that’s what all of this is about isn’t it? Control and expectations!

Looking Forward

I’m not perfect and don’t pretend to be. I have many thoughts, but don’t own all the answers. This is yet another example of life happening to me and being vulnerable enough to know I needed guidance. I hope this message can find someone in need of help and know a stubborn, sometimes overly-confident and prideful person like myself walked a similar path to find resources.

My therapist left me with these thoughts. “Life will most certainly get hard again at some point. Lean on these experiences to get through it smoother than you did last time and know you have tools at your disposal to slow it all down. It’s very likely you will encounter another Colitis flare in life…and you can work to get through it, just as you have the rest of them.”

I don’t know if ALL THERAPY works. What I know, is that I’m incredibly grateful to the betterhelp team and my therapist who helped me get through a tough patch in my life. You removed any stigma I had around the thought of seeking help and I hope others can follow a similar path if needed.

To Landon, should you be reading this years from now, know that it’s ok to talk to Dad openly about it and what you may be experiencing. I’ll listen!

My Results. My Intentions

The King of Pop stated it simply,

“I’m starting with the Man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways”

I am the Man in the Mirror. The reflection of the results I see, are a direct output of my intentions from 2022. David Goggins in his book, Can’t Hurt Me, spoke to himself through the reflection of his Accountability Mirror. The mirror doesn’t tell lies or have feelings or stories. The mirror and the reflection it produces only reflects the truth.

As I move forward into a new year, I will NOT be stating a New Year’s Resolution.

Instead, I’ll be writing down and reinforcing my intentions for the days and weeks ahead. Sum all these efforts together and I’ll have a year’s worth of progress.

Tony Robbins has a wonderful saying and I think it jumps off the page in relationship to this post.

We don’t get our shoulds…but we get our MUSTS!

Although this is obvious and I love it, I feel like intentions can sometimes be more subtle. Here are a few examples:

  • I “Never” miss an episode of ______________________ (that’s focus intention)
  • Wednesdays are my boys night where we meet up and have a cocktail (that’s time intention)
  • I’ve got to have the newest _________________ (that’s spend intention)
  • I always have a beer watching the game (that’s body/diet intention)
  • The 2nd Thursday of every month is date-night for my wife and I (that’s balance/relationship intention)
  • Wednesday mornings I time block to study and look deeper into my business (that’s time intention)
  • July is the month we always take a week-long family vacation (that’s balance intention)
  • I try to never miss a day without a green smoothie (that’s diet intention)

None are good. None are bad. They are simply focused choices.

We all have the same amount of time.

That’s the mindf*ck of it all. If you want to get super deep in the idea of time management listen to this Ed Mylett podcast [Respect and Protect Your Time] with guest Rob Dyrdek. Rob has gotten maniacal with the focused distribution of his most valuable resource: Time.

As I head into 2023, I’ll be refining my intentions for the the Warrior’s Way and making daily progress on: Body, Being, Balance, and Business.

If I start a post with MJ, I’ll end with MJ.

If you want to make the world a better place, better look at yourself and make a change

I know what I want and I’ll get after it with intention. Results are certain to follow.

5 Thoughts on Labor Day

I hope this message finds you relaxing on this national Labor Day holiday. As a reminder, this holiday was put in place to honor and recognize the American labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers to the development and achievements of the United States.

Makes me wonder…where did all the “Laborers” go? It’s time to get back to work America! Time to get back to making contributions to America’s strength, prosperity, and well-being.

Back to the purpose of this post, the 5 Thoughts on Labor Day

  1. GRATITUDE – I heard it earlier this week and it hit me as very profound. If you looked back 10 years and told yourself, what you’d doing now, 10 years later…what would you say?!?!? For me that’s pretty simple. I’d say, “DAMN, That’s terrific!” I’m overly ambitious and an avid goal writer. Ten years ago I wanted to accomplish the following things: Have kids, own a business, build a house on a golf course, own income producing real estate, sell a business (for profit), income targets, etc. I can put a BIG FAT CHECK MARK next to all of these, with a special THANK YOU to the University of Iowa Hospitals and their reproductive team. I’ve heard Tony Robbins say, “people often overestimate what they can accomplish in a year, and underestimate what they can accomplish in a decade.” Today is a day to reflect and be grateful because that is absolutely true!!!
  2. NUTRITION – As I move past that magical milestone of 40, I’m paying more attention to what I put into my body. Look I’m not perfect and I’m not counting every calorie or turning down every cookie. I’m still enjoying myself, but I’m paying very close attention to what I eat an how it makes me feel. With special attention being paid to limiting: sugar, gluten and alcohol. I’m also beginning to follow The Wahls Protocol (although not with militant vigor) as a way to keep my autoimmune condition in check. I will say, so far so good. I am feeling an increase in energy and better sleep.
  3. SLEEP – A good night of sleep is EVERYTHING to me now. To be fair, I don’t know if I’ve ever been a great sleeper. I guess it’s my restless mind and sometimes overly ambitious personality at work. But, even if my 3-year-old wakes up a couple times a week in the middle of the night, I can feel it. I can also tell how I hit the hay based on what I ate/consumed for the day. Getting old does suck, but I’m trying to find ways to make it suck less. For me those include: A Sleep Mask, paying attention to alcohol and caffeine consumption, and overall diet. Few things feel better than an uninterrupted 8+ hours of restorative sleep. < – – – – – – That’s pure gold at 40!
  4. ECONOMY – No silver bullets here or Nostradamus like predictions. But I do think about the macroeconomic factors frequently as an investor and business builder. Where are we? How did we get here? The most immediate thought I have is printing $7 Trillion is going to have lasting effects on where we’re going. There is TOO much supply given to those who created little or no economic value (Hence back to my tongue and cheek comments on “Labor” day). All that said, I still believe the United States is a terrific place to do business, and if you can stay away from tax crazed states, your chances grow considerably. I’m also wondering how we can have such low unemployment, yet sooooo many jobs available everywhere you look? Did that many people really retire or just exit the workforce? In the near term, I’ll continue investing in cash flowing real estate and I’ll keep a nest egg set aside for just in case scenarios.
  5. NO NEWS – I’ve largely stopped watching the news on TV. The funny part is, I still know what’s going on in the world without having to hear about the day’s last looting, shooting, or riot. The only part I really tune in or fast-forward to is the weather. There’s too much shock and awe to start a day for me and the hyperbolic tone is over the top. I remember back to going to my Grandma’s after school and hearing Walter Cronkite deliver the news. Although I was very young, I felt like he actually reported the news and it wasn’t delivered with an agenda. Simpler times I guess.

As a final takeaway, I do a goal review/pacing every Sunday. Being that the calendar just rolled over to September, it means we still have 1/3 of the year left to accomplish big things, or re-establish momentum. I’m happy to say I’m well on pace for my goal of 250 Peloton rides in 2022. I also completed the goal of purchasing (2) income producing properties in 2022. As for other goals…I’ve got 4 months to make a big impact and a lot of pull ups left to conquer.

~Go get it!

Smashing January’s Scorecard

What a terrific start to the year!

What gets measured, gets managed ~ Peter Drucker

January 2022 started off sulking my Iowa Hawkeyes bowl loss on New Year’s Day with a few icy blue Coors Lights. Alas, the next day I started dry January (a day late) with a renewed purpose and new goal pursuits for the new year.

If there’s a word I’m really leaning into for this year it is CONSISTENCY. I think the image below sums up it up pretty well. Less of the left…more of what’s on the right. [Relying on Motivation vs. Consistency]

Moreover, when I’m operating more on the right…I find rhythm. This leads to momentum and I’m ALL FOR steering momentum vs. trying to generate it from a dead stop. I wrapped up 2021 completing over 5,500 pull ups (with a goal of 3,650) and I’m hoping to continue the momentum from the back half of last year into 2022 (already at 1,100+).

My SCORECARD is about vitality metrics. It’s not a specific workout or calorie counting exercise. It’s about momentum, feeling good and the power of a great night of sleep (even when my 3 year old comes in from time to time).

Below are the elements I believe helped me generate and maintain a ton of momentum in January and ultimately led me to crush my goals.

January 2022 Momentum:

  • Consistency – Simple as it sounds, daily work and focus wins out. Even if it’s just a little bit. Not trying to over do it and win the war in a day. Showing up for battle after battle produces progress. Progress leads to momentum – – – – > Forward
  • Peloton – We invested in a Peloton in 2021 and I’m loving it. I booked 20+ rides in January. What else are you going to do when it’s -20 and dark outside? It’s a terrific sweat and something I honestly didn’t think I’d be so into. So far I’m partnering the rides with their meditation classes, which I think are REALLY solid.
  • Dry January – This has been a really good reset for my body. I don’t think I’ll be giving up alcohol indefinitely, but I will be paying more and more attention to how it makes me feel and also the impact on sleep.
  • Sleep – I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post. Sleep is the ultimate lever for how I feel. I do think alcohol is playing a role here to the point above. I’ll also add that if I meditate, stretch, or a combo of both before bed, a great night of sleep is almost certain to follow. As are some crazy vivid dreams!
  • Wim Hof Method – I’ve been sprinkling in Wim Hof Method breathing exercises with my meditation practice. Here is a quick YouTube link to a beginner session (it’s only 11:00). And yes, I’ve also started ending my morning shower with a couple mins of cold, COLD water. I guess I’m a sucker for self-improvement.
  • Checking ALL the Boxes – I’ll reiterate, my scorecard is about creating and maintaining VITALITY in life. Success breeds success. Hitting stride in one platform, leads to progress in another. Fitness + Spiritual + Knowledge.

Finding Momentum in February

As January comes to a close and we wave goodbye to frigid temperatures, there is a good chance many are also waving goodbye to well thought out “New Years Resolutions” promised just 30 days ago. So What!!! Inaction finds us all. Flush it and move on. Don’t dwell.

I beg of you, I implore you, start February anew and find progress in the smallest effort in the right direction. Look to the image above from Liz Fosslien and embrace this. Everyone starts at the bottom left stair. Everyone.

Content Consumed in January:

  1. Finding Ultra (Rich Roll)- Audiobook
  2. Stories That Stick (Kindra Hall) – hard copy
  3. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Shame (Alice Shirey)
  4. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Fear (Doug Tensen)
  5. Orchard Hill Church sermon – Family Feelings: Disappointment (Dave Bartlett)

Red State vs Blue State

Although the title of this post SCREAMS politics, there isn’t a single political position or statement in this post. Exhale. I’m thinking about an entirely different state. The difference in mental states.

Tranquilo

A good friend of mine (a teacher & successful coach) recently gave me the book Legacy, 15 lessons in leadership from arguably the most successful rugby team in history: the New Zealand All Blacks.

Chapter nine of the book is all about PRESSURE —> Keep a blue head. Control your attention.

More specifically, chapter nine outlines the impact state of mind has on championship level talent and competition when pressure sets in. Many championship finishes come down to the final minutes, efforts and decisions of equally matched opponents. The complete, the divide between winners and losers is colossal. So is the separation in mental state.

Red State vs. Blue State

Legacy defines the two mental states:

  • Red State = Tight. Inhibited. Anxious. Pressing. Results Oriented (I found this one perplexing). Aggressive. Desperate.
  • Blue State = Loose. Flowing. Expressive. In the Moment. Calm. Clear. On Task

I can tell you unequivocally when I’ve experienced wins in my life, I’m BLUE State nearly 100% of the time.

I can also tell you when things aren’t running smoothly, or “going my way”, I’m likely in RED state

Legacy goes on to outline the impact of “triggers” and getting back to a Blue State from a Red State. I’ve written about confidence triggers previously on the blog and what I specifically do to get back into rhythm.

What is a trigger? Since it’s Masters weekend, I immediately think of the 12th tee box for Jordan Spieth at Augusta National Golf Club. The 24 year old Masters champion would be a two-time green jacket winner and amongst the history of legends had it not be for one simple 145 yard hole and finding the water (twice) to card a state-altering seven. It cost him the victory.

I estimate he’ll play the Masters at least 25 more years.  He’ll face hole 12, likely 100 more times in competitive rounds. This screams RED state  if there were ever to be one. What a powerful trigger he must face every April in the swirling winds of Augusta National Golf Club.

Would you like more examples? Here are two I’ve read.

Kevin Love’s story of his panic attack earlier this NBA season. Players Tribune article His job is basketball (82 games a year).

Care for another? Do you know TV Anchor Dan Harris? Back in 2004 before a Good Morning America audience of 5 million people, he had an on-air panic attack. Here’s how he deals with it now. Again, this is his JOB!  He must find a way to get out of the red, and back into the blue every day. If you’re looking for a great read, I really recommend Dan’s book 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works–A True Story

As I’m reading Legacy laying in my bed, I couldn’t help but think about my friend Tony Robbins and his demand to “operate in a peak state” to his audiences around the world. I’ve watched 100’s of his videos and almost all of them reviews in detail the power of understanding and controlling your state.  Here is an example Peak State Video, or here is a link to a more visual representation from Tony.

One of the things you’ll notice with Tony is the soul-pumping music he uses at his events. Music creates movement. Motion = emotion. To change your state, change your body.

The biggest point of impact I’d like you to take away from this post is entirely focused on the HOW. How do I get into a peak state? Not surprisingly, states are controlled by triggers.

Good states = good triggers.

Bad states = bad triggers

I’m the first to tell you, bad triggers are guaranteed to build up in life. It is inevitable. Inevitable as life and the experiences that come with it. Just look at the examples of the highly talented individuals noted above. Red states escape no one.

All that said, how do I do it?  How do I get from RED —-> BLUE

There is a word Tim Ferriss says to himself in the audio version of The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich as he’s preparing for the Argentine Tango World Championships. Tranquilo. Tranquilo. I don’t know why, but it stuck with me. I use it when I meditate to calm my racing mind, and I use it every day when things get moving too fast in a bad direction.

It’s my RESET button.

Tranquilo

ACTION ITEM: There is a lot in this post, but I didn’t want to scale back from what I thought was very meaningful background. I think these are REAL issues many face today.  Red state vs. blue states of mind. Too much operate all day in the red, almost analogous to a car operating at redline. Use Dan’s advice, Tony’s teachings, and above all…Tranquilo.